Posts Tagged With: entree

Bad Week or So, Bad Day

It’s not been the best of times lately. I went to the ER because I got blinding pains whenever I moved my head in the slightest. You’d be surprised just how many times the neck absorbs stress from head movement. I got an imjection on muscle relaxers. I also got muscle-relaxer bills and super Ibuprofen. It’s mostly better now as long as I’m careful; such as in remembering to lean forward with my head anytime I accelerate the car. I’ll probably start physical therapy, again, on Thursday. Oh and I have eye therapy every week. I’ll have different tests for other ills next month.

Then I decided maybe two weeks back to change banks. I won’t go into it now, but it has been unceasing nightmare.

I want to run away. Is the Wild West still open?

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D. (but not with cell phones)

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Curry Chicken Potjiekos From Namibia

Namibian Entree

CURRY CHICKEN POTJIEKOS

INGREDIENTS

2 garlic cloves
2 onions
2″ ginger root
3 pounds chicken, breast, thighs, or drumsticks
1 tablespoon butter
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1½ tablespoons curry powder
1 teaspoon ground cloves
½ teaspoon coriander
½ teaspoon nutmeg
½ teaspoon salt
½ tablespoon turmeric
2½ cups chicken stock
3 carrots
1 pound potatoes
1 bay leaf

SPECIAL UTENSILS (If difficult conditions are met)

potjie: this is a cast-iron pot with three legs and is the authentic for this dish. Order it online.
hot coals: The potjie’s contents are cooked over hot coals and firewood. Will your landlord mind?

ORDINARY UTENSILS (If, as likely, the above conditions aren’t met. )

large pot
stove

Serves 4. Takes 2 hours 20 minutes.

PREPARATION

Dice garlic cloves and onions. Grate ginger. Add butter, vegetable oil and as many chicken pieces as will without touching to pan. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until chicken browns all over. Flip chicken enough to ensure even browning. (You might need to cook in batches.) Remove chicken and set aside. Add garlic and onion to pot. Sauté at medium-high heat for 4 minutes or until garlic and onion soften. Stir frequently. Add curry powder, ground cloves, coriander, ginger, nutmeg, salt, and turmeric. Sauté at medium heat for two minutes. Stir frequently.

Return chicken to pot. Add chicken stock; enough to cover chicken. Cover and simmer at low heat for 1 hour. While pot simmers, dice carrots. Peel and cut potatoes into ½” cubes. Add bay leaf, carrot, and potato or until carrot and potatoes soften. Stir until well blended. Cover and simmer at low heat for another ½ hour. Remove bay leaf. Stir occasionally.

TIDBITS

1) Lots of famous people are named after foods and dishes,

2) And vice versa.

3) Here’s a partial list in alphabetical order of their food names.

Fiona Apple – Famous songwriter and singer. Composed and sang “Extraordinary machine.” When a recording company decided to not release one of her albums, her fans mailed the company apples until they release it after all.

Arnold Palmer – Great golfer. Gave his name to a lemonade-and-iced-tea drink.

Kevin Bacon – in many movies including A Few Good Men.

Shaun Bean – in many movies, including National Treasure and the BBC series Sharpe.

Halle Berry – in many movies including Monster’s Ball.

Brie Larson – in many movies including, Short Term 12. The doctor who delivered was Brita Larson and was a friend of my grandmother. I have visited Dr. Larson’s old farm in Sweden.

Hamilton Burger – D.A. on the show Perry Mason. Fictitious character with a great name.

John Candy – best known for the Canadian TV show, “Second City.”

Cherry Jones- in many movies including The Perfect Storm..

Rosemary Clooney – Chart-topping singer during the 1950s.

Tim Curry – in many movies, plays, etc, including Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Ginger Rogers – Great dance and actress. Starred in many movies with Fred Astaire.

Meatloaf – Born Marvin Lee Aday. Famous singer. Made Bat Out of Hell album.

Barry Pepper – in many movies including Saving Private Ryan.

Condoleezza Rice – Press Secretary of State, the second person to President George W. Bush

Tim Salmon – All Star outfielder for the California Angels.

Shirley Temple – Great actress. Ambassador for the US. Childhood acquaintance of my mother. Gave her name to a drink of grenadine, ginger ale* soda, and maraschino cherry. * = There’s a bit of controversy here. Some people insist that the soda is lemon lime.

Darryl Strawberry – All star right fielder for the New York Mets.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D. (but not with cell phones)

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Libyan Stuffed Onions (Basal Mashshi)

Libyan Entree

STUFFED ONIONS
(Basal Mahshi)

INGREDIENTS

5 large onions
1 garlic clove
2 Roma tomatoes
1 pound ground lamb, beef, or combination
3 tablespoons flour
½ teaspoon mint
¼ teaspoon oregano
¼ teaspoon fenugreek powder
½ teaspoon parsley (1 teaspoon more later)
½ teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon salt
¾ teaspoon turmeric
1 tablespoon ghee or olive oil (½ tablespoon more later)
½ tablespoon ghee or olive oil
½ cup water
1 teaspoon parsley

SPECIAL UTENSILS

potato peeler
pot just large enough for 5 large onions to just fit snugly inside

Serves 5. Takes 2 hours.

PREPARATION

Peel onions. Cut off the root and enough of the bottom of an onion so that it can stand upright. Remove the top ½” from the top of the onion. Save the onion top. Use knife to cut onion on one side through to the center of the onion from the top to the bottom. Use potato peeler, or small spoon to remove the inner layers of the onion until about ⅓” or 2-to-3 layers of outer layers remain. Repeat for each onion. Save half of the hollowed-out onion bits. Discard the rest.

Mince garlic and hollowed-out onion bits. Dice tomatoes. Add garlic, onion bits, tomato, lamb, flour, mint, oregano, fenugreek, ½ teaspoon parsley, pepper, salt, and turmeric to large mixing bowl. Mix with hands until well blended. Fill the hollowed-out center of onions with mixture from bowl. Grease bottom of pot with 1 tablespoon ghee. Pack onions into pot. Place the onions’ tops on onions. Add ½ tablespoon ghee and water to small mixing bowl. Mix together with whisk. Baste onions with ghee/water. Cover. Simmer at low heat for 1 hour. Remove and discard onion tops. Garnish each onion with 1 teaspoon parsley.

TIDBITS

1) Many people like to get the animals they shoot stuffed by a taxidermists. Indeed, stuffing large animals shot while on safari are considered to be a trophies. Who wants a trophy?

2) I do! I do!

3) But Paul, could you shoot a magnificent beast of the Veldt?

4) Mumbles, “No.”

5) Do you even think you could bring down a charging Bengal tiger?

6) Mumbles, “No, I might just wing it.”

7) So, you’d just enrage the tiger, wouldn’t you?”

8) “Yeah, I guess so.”

9) Can you outrun a Bengal tiger?

10)“No.”

11) Mightn’t you miss and bring down one of your fellow safari hunters?”

12) “Yeah, I suppose so.”

13) You’re aware that murder is wrong?”

14) Hangs head down. “Yeah.”

15) And that you’d probably go to jail for life, if not worse. Do you want that?”

16) “It’s not fair. It was an accident.”

17) Still . . .

18) “Could I have a do over?”

19) No! There are no do overs in shooting people.

20) “What if I said I was sorry?”

21) No!

22) “What if I stuffed onions and served them to guests as Libyan Basal Mahshi?”

23) That’ll do, Paul. That’ll do.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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De Lancey’s Canadian Fun Festival Tours

Emma, your tour guide

March 8 to 29 – Festival of Animated Objects -Held in Calgary, Canada. See puppet shows and performances with other animated thingys touch on dark, troubling themes. Even though, many of the shows are supposed to be family friendly, it all seems rather ominous. Watch animovies projected onto a historic grain elevator. A historic one, no less. Programming includes live performances, screenings, lectures, workshops, and exhibitions for all ages.

Last Weekend in July – Nanaimo Marine Festival and Bathtub Races –  As always, there will be amazing firework displays, decorations, and food everywhere. Arts and crafts stalls will dot the landscape, as well an entertainment stage, and a children’s tent. Visit the farmers’ markets, and do other stuff. Let’s face it the highlight of this festival is, and will always, be the stupendous bathtub race. It’s known appropriately enough as the Great International World Championship Bathtub Race. The race crosses the 36-mile Strait of Georgia.

Last Weekend in July – Elvis Impersonator Festival – Perhaps the best Elvis impersonator festival in the world occurs in the summer at the Collingwood Elvis festival which thank goodness, is held in Collingwood, Ontario. This festival draws a variety of people . . . Oh heck, no it doesn’t. Only lovers of Elvis’ music will go. Oh, and Elvis impersonators. Expect to see lots and lots of Elvis impersonators. This is a good thing, however, if you don’t love Elvis’s music and if you don’t love his songs, then why are you attending an Elvis festival? And eat the food the King ate. See how many fried banana and peanut butter sandwiches you can devour during the festivities.

July 30 to August 2 – Icelandic Festival in Manitoba – Embrace your inner Northern European spirit by raiding your way to the Icelandic Festival in Gimli, Manitoba. You’ll find tasty Icelandic food to eat. See the Icelandic fashion show. Visit musicians and artists who offer up Icelandic music and Icelandic crafts. But really the most exciting part of the festival is the Viking Village. See people dressed up a Viking warriors. Go to every single Viking Combat Demonstration. And oh my gosh, oh my gosh, don’t, just don’t, let your children miss the half-hour long Kiddie Shield Wall event.

September 2 to 4 – Poutine Festival – Make your way to the Poutine Festival in Drummondville, Quebec. Poutine, perhaps Quebec’s most famous dish, consists of French fries, beef gravy, and cheese curds or mozzarella. Listen to wonderful music while tasting caloric culinary greatness. Heart specialists are standing by. The highlight of the event is seeing which poutinier food truck will win the coveted Gold Fork for making the festival’s best poutine. * =  If history is anything to go by, next year’s excitement will take place anytime from July to September.

September 13 to 14 – Accordion Extravaganza! – Clear your musical palate by attending the Accordion Extravaganza! in Edmonton, Alberta. Pop in on all sorts of concerts, workshops, dances, and competitions, all featuring the accordion. Accordion lovers will melt in ecstasy here.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: fun festivals, travel | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Vietnamese Sugar Cane Shrimp (Chao Tom)

Vietnamese Appetizer

SUGAR CANE SHRIMP
(Chao Tom)

INGREDIENTS

1 pound medium shrimp, frozen, peeled and deveined (41-to-50 count)
1 teaspoon fish sauce
1 garlic clove
¼ teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons sugar
½ teaspoon white pepper or pepper
1 egg white
2 teaspoons corn starch
½ teaspoon vegetable oil
8 4″-sugar cane sticks (fresh or canned) *

* = I suggest using canned sugar as fresh sugar cane needs to be peeled and cut into 4″ sticks. Canned sugar cane can be found in Asian supermarkets. Fresh sugar cane can be found there as well or online.

SPECIAL UTENSILS

food processor
electric grill pan
no-stick spray

Serves 4. Takes 40 minutes. Allow for up to an extra hour if using fresh sugar cane. In this case, cut the sugar cane apart around the joints. Then use knives and cleavers to remove the hard outer shell of the can.

PREPARATION

Add shrimp, fish sauce, garlic, salt, sugar, and white pepper to food processor. Blend until ingredients form a shrimp paste. Add egg white to mixing bowl. Whip egg white with whisk until frothy. Add shrimp paste and corn starch to egg white. Mix with whisk until shrimp is again well blended.

Preheat grill to medium high. Dip hands in vegetable oil. Take 1½ tablespoons shrimp paste and press it evenly around the middle of a sugar-cane stick. Leave ¾” sugar-cane stick exposed at both ends. Brush shrimp paste on sticks lightly with oil to prevent sticking. Add shrimp-covered sticks to grill. Grill for 8 minutes or until shrimp paste is golden brown on all sides. Turn gently, at least every 2 minutes, Bite into the sugar cane a bit as you eat the shrimp. This will add sugar juice to your bite.

TIDBITS

1) Wherever the well loved Chef Tomasso went, everyone said, “Ciao, Tomasso.” Then one day he left his hometown of Padua in search of some squid ink for his next meal. He should have gone to Venice. Instead ended up in Hanoi as he was way too proud to ask for directions. Fortunately, the locals took him in. In gratitude, Tom, as he is now called, created this dish. Now, the Vietnamese greet him with “Chao, Tom” in honor of his cooking style .

2) Then, alas, tragedy struck.

3) Chef Tomasso fell off the edge of the edge of the Earth on July 1, 2018.

4) Apparently, he walked farther than normal and got lost.

5) He again refused to asked for directions and so, fell off the edge of the Earth.

6) Let this be a cautionary tale for all men.

7) This demise demised dumbfound all the physicists, who thought the Earth’s gravitational field would surely keep the good chef securely on terra firma.

8) Okay, the previous tidbit contained some ambiguity. It would be perfectly logical to wonder if, at some point, the physicists lost their dumfoundedness after Tomasso’s plunge into the interstellar abyss.

9) Let me clear up this confusion. These learned scientists remain perplexed by Tomasso’s misfortune.

10) It is amusing thought to think that Chef Tomasso truly lived life on the edge.

11) And if the word “dumfoundedness” from tidbit 8) is not a word, it ought to be.

12) Write your Miriam Webster and Oxford English Dictionary editors and ask them to include “dumbfoundedness” in their next editions. Thank you.

13) Tomasso’s great fall, shown on the 10 o’clock news, also flummoxed cartographers who, pretty much unanimously, agreed that our Earth is round like the globe in your fifth-grade classroom.

14) Meanwhile, maritime insurance rates have soared. If Tomasso, through no fault of his own, happened upon a spot that was the edge of the Earth, who’s to say that a freighter carrying wheat or a tanker bringing oil couldn’t fall off the edge of the Earth as well?

15) Can you imagine the following conversation?
Shipping CEO: Sorry, but your wheat will be a little late. Our freighter went over the Earth’s edge.
Food Importer CEO: Yeah sure, like I haven’t heard that one before.

16) As of yet, Chef Tomasso has not returned. His fate is still unlearned. I hope he will and that he’ll have a rattling good yarn to spin. In the meantime, watch your step.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

De Lancey’s European Fun Festival Tours

Aleta, your tour guide

Have fun! Come travel with me.

First Weekend in July – The International Witches Fair –  Watch reenactors capture witches and heretics. Watch the lost souls get tried. Be enthralled by their torture. Be entranced by lovingly recreated witches’s covens. Listen to the excommunication of the entire town. Watch as Pope Julius II curses the entire village of Trasmoz, Spain. The festival sports an authentic medieval market place and medieval camp. There are parades, magic shows, musical shows, and medieval combat. You’ll want to go year after year just to see everything. Learn about medieval plants. Learn how to poison someone. Or maybe you’ll want to heal people with medieval medicinal plants. To each his own.

August – World Bog Snokeling Championships – LLanwrtyd, Wales. People come from all over the world to race 120-yards through a peat bog. Is it difficult? Dunno. But it is only 120 yards long. Many find the competition to be intense. People root on their favorite snorkelers.If you’re an ironman, if you’re a triathlete, you simply must enter in the Bog Snorkeling Championships. It consists of an 8-mile run, a 12-mile Mountain Bike ride, and a 60-yard bog snorkel. There’s lots of fun for the spectators as well. Graze and quaff your way through the food and drink stands. Work your way to the ale and cider bar. Listen to live music as your kids stampede the bouncy castle.  The festival encourages fancy dress.
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August 26 to 28 – Redhead Days Festival – Held this year in Tilburg, Netherlands. Be there to strut your awesome redheadness or if you’re not redheaded yourself, to absorb the sunshine emanating from so much redheads assembled in one place. Be sure to check the event’s website before you bring your clothes. Attendees all dress in the same color, which will have been decided by voting. Planned highlights include: dress-up contest, pub crawl, kids playground, hot tubs (not in the kids playground), food stands, cocktail workshop, BBQ, art exhibition with a red-haired theme , open stage, singing, salsa dancing, lectures, photoshoots, poetry, and cycling tours. Spend your days at the festival, then head to the exciting after-festival parties. There’s even a late night, redhead party at Netherland’s best known gay bar, The Lollipop. All are welcome.
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Last Wednesday in Augsust – Last La Tomatina – The world’s best tomato festival, La Tomatina, is held in Buñol, Spain. The festival starts with the eating of many different tomato-based dishes. Yum! However, dining on the tomato is not the reason for La Tomatina’s extraordinary popularity. The festival hosts the world’s biggest tomato fight. Yippee.

Note: festival dates are prone to change. Check before you book. You don’t want to lug your broom all the way to Spain only to discover the International Witches Fair won’t take place another two weeks.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: fun festivals, travel | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

One Does Not Simply Cook a Frozen Turkey

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A large frozen item like a turkey requires at least a day (24 hours) to defrost in the refrigerator for every 5 pounds of weight.

If you are pressed for time, use this quicker defrosting method. Keep turkey in packaging and add it to a large pot. Cover turkey with ice-cold water. Let turkey sit in cold water for 30 minutes per pound. Drain water.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: one does not simply | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Brined Turkey Breast.

American Entree

BRINED TURKEY BREAST

INGREDIENTS – BRINE

1 gallon ice-cold water
2 bay leaves
2 garlic cloves
1 teaspoon peppercorns
1 teaspoon allspice
½ teaspoon mustard
1 teaspoon rosemary
1½ cups coarse salt
½ cup light brown sugar
½ cup white sugar
½ teaspoon thyme
8 pounds thawed turkey breast (for love of God, Montressor, the turkey must be thawed)

INGREDIENTS – COOKING TURKEY

¼ cup butter
¼ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon salt
2-to-3 cups chicken broth

SPECIAL UTENSILS

really big pot, 8+ gallons, or turkey bag
spice grinder
large oven-safe pan or casserole dish
wire rack
meat thermometer

Serves 12. Takes 15-to-24 hours

PREPARATION – THAWING TURKEY

A large frozen item like a turkey requires at least a day (24 hours) to defrost in the refrigerator for every 5 pounds of weight.

If you are pressed for time, use this quicker defrosting method. Keep turkey in packaging and add it to a large pot. Cover turkey with ice-cold water. Let turkey sit in cold water for 30 minutes per pound. In this recipe, that would be 4 hours. Pour out water.

But the turkey must be thawed before cooking. Or there will be much wailing and gnashing of teeth.

PREPARATION – BRINE

Crumble bay leaves. Mince garlic cloves. Grind peppercorns. Remove packaging from turkey and rinse in cold water. Add brine ingredients except turkey to pot. Stir until salt and sugar dissolve. Add turkey. Add ice-cold water as needed to cover turkey. Cover pot or close turkey bag and refrigerate for at least 12 hours but not more than 24.

PREPARATION – COOKING TURKEY

Remove turkey from brine and pat dry. Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Put turkey in large pan. Melt butter. Brush melted butter onto turkey. Sprinkle pepper and salt onto turkey. Place wire rack in pan. Put turkey on rack. Put meat thermometer in thickest part of turkey. Bake at 400 degrees for 20 minutes. Reduce heat to 325 degrees. Bake for 2-to-3 hours or until meat thermometer reads 165 degrees. Baste with ½ cup of chicken broth after every 30 minutes of baking at 325 degrees.

TIDBITS

1) Wild turkeys hide in trees at night. Just like human ninjas.

2) Wild turkeys can fly. That’s better than human ninjas.

3) All turkeys have periscopic vision. This means they can twist their heads around to see everything. Can human ninjas do that? I think not.

4) Female turkeys do not gobble. This stealthiness makes them the perfect silent warriors.

5) Our founding father, Benjamin Franklin, wanted to make the turkey our national bird. Why? Culinary historians suspect that turkey ninjas fought on the colonists’ side during the American Revolution.

6) How do they know this? The British soldier was far better trained than the American militiaman. The British king had many more soldiers under his autocratic command than did our fractious Continental Congress. King George’s army possessed thousands of cannon and could boast of the biggest and best navy in the world.

7) America could only have won if it had ninja turkeys swooping down, dealing quick, silent death out of the pitch-black night. Historians think American units coordinated ambushes by using bird calls. Culinary historians know better. These were turkey calls, made by fierce turkey warriors.

8) Britain finally countered with the King’s Bear Battalion in 1782. These bears could climb up any tree and were paid in honey. America’s ninja turkeys wouldn’t have stood a chance against the bears’ great strength and massive, sharp claws. Fortunately for America, Britain’s will to continue the war had already been shattered by the decisive battle of Yorktown during the previous year.

9) America disbanded its turkey ninjas in 1806. This is why it didn’t win the War of 1812.

10) America might be using turkey ninjas in covert operations. Who can say? Washington remains mute on the subject.

 

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Pad Thai

Thai Entree

PAD THAI

INGREDIENTS

½ pad Thai noodles or rice stick noodles
8 cups water
2½ tablespoons fish sauce
3 tablespoons palm sugar or brown sugar
2 tablespoons tamarind sauce, tamarind puree, or Worcestershire sauce
10 ounces chicken breasts
3 ounces firm tofu
3 garlic cloves
3½ tablespoons vegetable oil
3 eggs
¼ cup fresh garlic chives or green onions, thinly sliced
½ teaspoon red pepper flakes
¼ pound bean sprouts
2 tablespoons crushed peanuts (2 more tablespoons later)
2 tablespoons crushed peanuts
2 limes

SPECIAL UTENSIL

colander

Serves 6. Takes 1 hour.

PREPARATION

Add noodles to mixing bowl. Add hot water to pot. Bring to boil using high heat. Pour water over noodles. Lit sit for 3 minutes. Stir a few times to separate noodles. Drain noodles in colander. Rinse noodles with cold water. (This prevents sticking.)

While water boils, add fish sauce, sugar, and tamarind sauce to mixing bowl. Stir with whisk or fork until sugar dissolves. This is the pad Thai sauce. Cut chicken and tofu into ½” cubes. Mince garlic cloves. Add vegetable oil, chicken, and tofu to pan. Sauté at medium-high heat for 6 minutes or until tofu starts to brown. Remove tofu and set aside.

Add garlic to and eggs to pan. Lightly scramble eggs and cook at medium heat for 3 minutes. Add garlic chives, red pepper flakes, rinsed noodles, and tofu. Stir fry at medium heat for 5 minutes. Add bean sprouts and pad Thai sauce. Stir fry for 2 minutes or until noodles are slightly chewy or al dente. Add 2 tablespoons crushed peanuts. Stir fry at medium heat for 1 minute. Cut each lime into 6 wedges. Garnish with lime wedges and 2 tablespoons crushed peanuts.

TIDBITS

1) It is well established that Thai chefs love alliteration and tongue twisters. Here are some of their favorites.

2) Tired Thais tie tidy tie dyed Thai ties.

3) Wired Thais wipe white wine while wining.

4) Tough Thais tug Pad Thai through the glue.

5) Pied Piper Thais buy Pad Thai pods.

6) Pad pods put pitted prunes nigh the moody Moon.

7) Tied Thais tried Thai tried dying flying limes.

8) High Thai thighs hide eyes.

9) Thai eyes espy small-fries fry fries.

10) My Thais buy My pies.

11) Dry Thais cry, “fly by.”

12) My Thais sigh bye.

13) Tired Thais buy squires wide wires. Why?

14) Rad, mad mod Pads pad pom poms.

15) Thai guy mice try rice thrice.

16) Fie! Thai mice, not nice.

17) Sci-fi Thai mice, splice rice twice.

18) Shy Thai poodles doodle oodles of puddles.

19) “Pish, fish sauce,” says cross boss Ross.

20) Choking chicken chickens quicken to thicken Bruce’s juices.

21) Wait, crate late mate’s great slate plate freight.

22) See? She’s nuts for free, wee peanuts.

23) I wrote at quite a pace and now I’m out of space.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Japanese Rice Omelette

Japanese Entree

RICE OMELETTE
(Omurice)

INGREDIENTS – FRIED RICE

3 ounces boneless chicken
1 small onion
1½ tablespoons butter (1½ tablespoons more later)
1½ cups cooked rice (warm)
¼ cup ketchup
¼ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon salt

INGREDIENTS – OMELETTE

4 eggs
2 tablespoons milk
1½ tablespoons butter
1 ketchup bottle for squirting

SPECIAL UTENSILS

no-stick pan
paper towels

Serves 2. Takes 30 minutes.

PREPARATION – FRIED RICE

Slice chicken into ½” cubes. Mince onion. Add 1½ tablespoons butter and onion to regular pan. Sauté onion at medium heat for 3 minutes. Stir frequently. Add chicken. Sauté for 2 minutes or until chicken is no longer pink. Add rice, ketchup, pepper, and salt. Reduce heat to medium and sauté for 2 minutes or until rice is hot and coated with ketchup. Remove and cover to keep warm.

PREPARATION – OMELETTE

Add eggs and milk to mixing bowl. Blend with whisk. Add 1½ tablespoons butter to no-stick pan. Melt butter using medium heat. Add ½ of the blended eggs. Tilt pan so that egg mixture covers the surface. Cook egg mixture using medium heat for 1 minute or until egg starts to set on the bottom, but is still runny on top. Sprinkle ½ of the fried rice onto the setting egg mixture, leaving 2″ of egg uncovered on the left and right sides. Use spatula to fold uncovered sides over the rice as far as they can go.

Tilt pan to the right so that the right side of the omelette gets curved slightly by the pan. Then tilt the pan to the left for the same result. Put serving plate on top of pan. While holding plate, turn pan upside down so that the egg side of the omelette is on the top. Cover with paper towel to remove oil and to gently shape omelette into the shape of an American football. Remove towel and artistically drizzle omelette with ketchup. Repeat for the second omelette.

TIDBITS

1) The above picture of Omurice looks a lot like a triangular sail. This is no accident. Look at the Viking ship shown in the picture below.

 

 

 

 

 

2) Now, add a happy face to the triangular sail.

 

 

 

 

 

3) Let’s put those two pictures together.

 

 

 

 

4) Whoa! The pictures are nearly identical.. The Vikings did get the idea for their sail from the Japanese rice omelette. These pictures prove the Erik the Happy saga is true beyond all questioning.

5) In the Happy saga, Erik and his crew of oarsmen set off from Sweden to raid Northumbria. But, he refused to ask for directions and ended up in Japan. While there, Erik dined on a rice omelette. His synapses fired and he made the sail you see above. Voyaging back to Sweden with a sail was a snap.

6) Erik the Happy told Ragnar Lothbrok how easy sailing can now be, Just two months later, in the summer of 792. Ragnar built a long boat and added a triangular sail. He sailed to Northumbria and sacked the monastery of Lindisfarne. Much bloodshed and looting ensued. The age of the Vikings had begun. Now you know.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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