Posts Tagged With: Moon

Fettuccine Alla Papalina

Vatican Entree

FETTUCCINE ALLA PAPALINA

INGREDIENTS

1 pound fettuccine
3 eggs
3 tablespoons cream
1¼ cups freshly grated Parmesan cheese*
1 medium onion
¼ cup butter
5 ounces diced or cubed pancetta, or cubed, uncooked ham
1 teaspoon pepper**
1 teaspoon salt

* = This dish was originally created for Pope Pius XII. His chef used the best ingredients. So, if you are having the pope over for dinner, you really should try to use Parmesan-Reggiano. And even if you aren’t having His Holiness over to dine, your guests will appreciate being placed at his level of importance. However, your grocery store might not stock Parmesan-Reggiano. In this case, use regular Parmesan. The pope will understand. He is a kind and humble man.

** = This dish is supposed to be peppery. The amount of pepper used should be near the upper range for your taste.

Serves 6. Takes 45 minutes.

PREPARATION

Cook fettuccine according to instructions on package. Set aside in a large serving bowl when done. Add eggs, cream, and Parmesan cheese to mixing bowl. Mix with whisk until well blended. Mince onion. Add onion and butter to pan. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes. Stir frequently. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 10 minutes or until onion is quite soft. Stir occasionally. Add pancetta to pan. Simmer on low-medium heat for 4 minutes. Stir occasionally.

Pour egg/cream/Parmesan mixture to noodles in serving bowl. Add pepper and salt. Toss noodles until thoroughly coated and the cheese has completely melted. Add onion/pancetta mix to noodles. Mix with fork until well blended.

TIDBITS

1) This dish is difficult to cook in zero gravity. So, no astronaut has ever made this pasta. The moon, however, possesses a weak gravitational field. So, any pasta, and pancetta would, more or less, stay put. Unfortunately, water on the moon evaporates, so this dish can’t be made there either. However, the International Space Station is an enclosed environment and is designed to rotate just fast enough to trick the fettuccine alla papalina into believing gravity exists there.

Chef Paul

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Slow Cooker Refried Beans

Mexican Entree

SLOW COOKER REFRIED BEANS

INGREDIENTSRefriedBeans-

2 cups or 14 ounces dry pinto beans
1 onion
1 jalapeno or serrano pepper
3 garlic cloves
5½ cups water
1 teaspoon cumin
½ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon crema Mexicana or sour cream

SPECIAL UTENSILS

slow cooker or crock pot
colander
potato masher

Makes 2½ cups. Takes 8 hours 30 minutes.

PREPARATION

Rinse beans. Cut onion into four pieces. Seed and dice jalapeno pepper. Mince garlic. Add beans, onion fourths, jalapeno, water, cumin, pepper, and salt to slow cooker. Stir once. Cook on high overnight or for 8 hours.

Remove onion fourths. Drain using colander in bowl. (Save drained water, in case your beans are too dry or use a bean broth.) Mash beans with potato masher. Add crema Mexicana. Stir with spoon. There you go. Serve hot.

TIDBITS

1) This dish takes 8-and-a-half hours. Think of all the lunar eclipses you could see in that time.

2) Depending where you are and if you want to see the whole thing or just the totality phase, you’re thinking anywhere from 2 to 120 eclipses.

3) Of course, the Moon goes its merry way after giving us an eclipse of itself. Why? It just does. So if you want to see sequential total lunar eclipses, you’ll need to take the Moon out of its orbit.

4) Repeatedly. Won’t this wreak havoc upon the Earth? Yes, it will. At the very least, displacing the moon again and again, will cause thousands of mile high tsunamis. Coastal cities will be obliterated. Humongous, terrifying earthquakes will finish off all remaining people, which makes this entree the ideal end-of-the-Earth meal.

– Chef Paul

LutheranCookbook

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, are available in paperback or Kindle on amazon.com

The cookbook is also available as an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Peanut Butter Chip Cookies

American Dessert

PEANUT BUTTER CHIP COOKIES

INGREDIENTSPeanutButterChip-

3 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup butter
1 cup sugar
½ cup brown sugar
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
10 ounces peanut butter chips
no-stick spray

SPECIAL UTENSILS

electric beater
1-to-4 cookie sheets (You might have to bake in batches.)

makes about 36 cookies

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Take butter out of the refrigerator and let it soften. Use whisk to blend flour, baking powder, and baking soda in large mixing bowl. Place butter, sugar, brown sugar, egg, vanilla extract, and peanut butter chips in second mixing bowl. Mix with electric beater set on cookies or medium high. Gradually add in the flour mixture from the first bowl. Blend thoroughly with electric beater set on whip or high. Fold in peanut butter chips. Mix with hands.

Roll dough into little balls about 1″ wide. Spray cookie sheets with no-stick spray. Leave a 2″ gap between peanut butter/dough balls. Bake at 375 degrees for 8 to 12 minutes or until golden brown. Let cookies cool for 2 minutes before transferring with a spatula to wire rack or cold plate. Cool for an additional 5-to-20 minutes or as long as you can stand waiting.

TIDBITS

1) The ancient Incas used peanuts in their religious ceremonies. The Incas built a mighty empire. Thomas Jefferson raised peanuts. He went onto write America’s Declaration of Independence. As president he doubled America’s size with the Louisiana Purchase. America is still the only country to send a peanut to the moon.

2) Peanut is awesome! Get your cat or dog to take its medicine by covering it with peanut butter. P.b. is the best bait for mousetraps. Put peanut butter in the pan after frying fish. The fishy smell will go away. This amazing food cleans your furniture and gives your house a nice peanut-buttery aroma. Use peanut butter when your shaving; it’s good for your skin.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Jamaican Jerk Chicken

Jamaican Entree

JERK CHICKEN

INGREDIENTS

4 chicken breasts or about 3 pounds
1 cup green onions
1 white onion
3 garlic cloves
3 tablespoons jerk spice
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon thyme
1/2 teaspoon allspice
2 tablespoons soy sauce
2 tablespoons water
6 tablespoons vegetable oil

PREPARATION

Cut chicken into squares 1-inch wide. Dice green onions, onion, and garlic. Put chicken in mixing bowl. Add green onions, white onion, garlic, jerk spice, cinnamon, thyme, and allspice. Coat the chicken squares thoroughly with the spices. Add soy sauce and water. Mix again. (If your hands aren’t completely messy, you haven’t been mixing enough. Oh. Oh.)

Cover mixing bowl and refrigerate for 3 hours. (Three hours? You mean after all this work I can’t eat it for three hours? Dear reader, I feel your culinary pain. Still, this dish is worth waiting for. However, for those who have ravenous, important, career-changing guests arriving in just one hour, next time read the recipes through before attempting them, for goodness sakes.)

Heat oven to 350 degrees. Put chicken into one or two baking dishes. Coat chicken with cooking oil. Bake for about 50 minutes.

TIDBITS

1) Water covers about 71% of the Earth’s surface.

2) Chicken breasts do not.

3) However, there is a rough equivalence of water and chicken breasts on the surface of the Moon.

4) More and more scientists are suspecting water exists below Mars’ surface.

5) They are, however, strangely silent about the possibility of chicken breasts as well.

6) Or even drumsticks.

7) The old line, “Why did the chicken cross the road?” was developed on Earth and according to current knowledge was never even told when astronauts roamed the Moon.

8) But the joke continues to be told on Earth even though NASA’s manned-lunar program is over.

9) Hah!

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

 

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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