Posts Tagged With: brains

Egg Coffee

Norwegian Appetizer

EGG COFFEE

INGREDIENTS??????????

9 cups water (1⅓ cups more later)
½ cup freshly ground coffee
⅓ cup water (1 cup more later)
egg
1 cup water.

PREPARATION

Add 9 cups water to large coffee pot or pan. Bring water to boil. While water comes to boil in coffee pot, add coffee, ⅓ cup water and egg to mixing bowl. Mix with whisk or fork. (This mixture looks like potting soil.)

Add coffee/water/egg mix to boiling water. Boil for 3 minutes. Remove coffee pot from heat. Add 1 cup water. Let coffee settle for 10 minutes. Pour coffee through strainer or coffee filters.

This coffee is a lot less bitter than the regular brews and should require less than the normal amount of cream and sugar or none at all.

TIDBITS

1) Historians claim coffee was discovered about a thousand years ago by an Ethiopian goatherd whose goats were bounding with caffeinated energy. How do we know this when we don’t even know how single socks keep disappearing in our clothes dryers?

2). It’s frightening to think that if the goats had only a few more weeks of caffeinated existence, the highly energetic critters could have done their grazing chores in no time at all. They would then have had time to ponder the infinite. Sure, their brains are tiny compared to ours, but hyped up on caffeine they would have to figure that a goat’s life is to give milk and goat meat.

3) To give goat meat means to die. Fast thinking goats wouldn’t have liked that. No, not one bit. And back then goats far outnumbered humans. They would have learned goat karate, attacked us, and gained their independence in regions where human warriors didn’t wear armor. Not long after that the coffee-drinking goats would have developed their own armor, their own spears, and their own catapults. We humans would have been overwhelmed by vast, well-equipped goat armies. We would have had to become vegetarians and the goat’s servants. It nearly happened.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

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Argentinian Barbecue

Argentinian Entree

ARGENTINIAN BARBECUE

INGREDIENTSArgSausage-

1/4 cup sea salt
1 cup warm water
6 pork sausages
1 chicken breast
2 1/2 pounds beef short ribs
2 1/3 pounds beef tip roast (or round steak)
salsa criolla (see recipe above)

SPECIAL UTENSIL

barbecue!

PREPARATIONArgRibs-

This is a multi-course entree. Start barbecue up to 40 minutes before you want to start cooking depending on your grill..

Add salt and water to bowl. Stir until salt dissolves.

Place sausages and chicken breast on grill. Grill for 15-to-20 minutes or until done on all sides. Remove sausages. Cut sausages and chicken breast diagonally into 4 or 5 pieces each. Serve.

Put short ribs bony side down on grill. Grill ribs for 15 minutes. Turn over ribs and brush tops with salt water. Barbecue for another 15-to-30 minutes. Remove and serve.

Put round steak on grill. Grill for 5 minutes. Turn over and baste top with salt water. Repeat this for another 20-to-30 minutes or until cooked to your desired level of doneness. Remove. Cut into thin slices.

Please note there is quite variation in times needed to grill your meat to your satisfaction depending on your preferences of well done versus rare, the thickness of the meat, and the efficiency of your grill. You will need to monitor the grilling.ArgSteak-

Serve with salsa criolla.

TIDBITS

1) Some people feel many exotic dishes taste like chicken. Some of them are: alligator, crocodile, frog, kangaroo, turtle, marine iguana, pigeon, quail, squirrel, snake, swan, toad, and most birds.

2) Why?

3) Chicken has lower levels of glutamates. Glutmates contribute to something called “umami.” “Umami” contributes to … Excuse me, I need a nap. Zzzz!

4) A consensus mildly interesting scientists holds that chickens and other birds descended from dinosaurs. Most dinosaurs died out when a huge meteorite struck the Earth at 6:02 a.m. exactly sixty-five million years ago. Only a relatively small number of species survived Meteor Apocalypse.

4) Did the dinosaurs suffer from zombie apocalypses? Archeologists are mute on this subject for as well all know it is exceedingly difficult to distinguish a regular dinosaur fossil from a zombie dinosaur fossil.

5) Dinosaurs had tiny brains. Zombie dinosaurs would necessarily have possessed tiny brains as well. We know from observing the behavior of current zombies–See the reality show, Dodge City Zombies–that zombies really want brains. And dinosaurs possessed tiny brains. Zombie dinosaurs would have needed to eat dozens of living dinosaurs to get their brain fixes. This urge to eat brains still shows up in the French entree cerveau d’agneau (lamb’s brain.)

6) Anyway, chickens and birds descend from the same common ancestors. That’s why they all taste somewhat the same.

7) Crocodiles have a lot in common with chickens. So they say. They look a lot different to me. I can tell you I would run a lot faster from a chicken than from a chicken, no matter how enraged the chicken might be.

8) This commonality between chickens and crocodiles explains the similarity in taste.

9) Scientists now think Tyrannosaurus Rex tasted like chicken. So, if you are eating chicken, you are a distant way eating a fierce king of the dinosaur. Roar!

10) Listen to “Tastes Like Chicken” by Austin Lounge Lizards. It’s great.

cover

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World, is available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

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*Bump Off Your Enemies* Fictional Writing Contest – Update

Authors Candace C. Bowen and Paul R. De Lancey invite you to fictionally “Bump Off” your enemies in 200 words or fewer.  Please visit the event “Bump Off Your Enemies” on Facebook on March 15. Two winners will be crowned Kingpin/Queenpin. Winning entries will be posted. Good Luck!

I’d like to stress you must fictionally kill off your characters. Candace and I will look askance at anyone killing someone and describing what actually happened. That is so wrong. This is an exercise in imagination. Enemies do not have to be specific people. They can be types of people such as telemarketers or people who block aisles in supermarkets.

You may post your Facebook entry before March 15 but you run the risk of us not seeing it when judge on that date. My brain is particularly wobbly. Speaking of brains, zombies do not count unless you kill them in your entry. After that they may turn into the undead or not as you see fit.

The following should theoretically get you to the event, but most likely you’ll have to sign onto Facebook first. Probably you’ll find yourself at the lists of events page, why Facebook why? Now Ctrl-v this link again or type in “Bump Off Your Enemies” and you will be taken to this glorious event. Negotiations will soon be underway between this event and Facebook for easier access.

https://www.facebook.com/events/501973503178459/

gunsightoutline

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Loving Poems About Chocolate

Chocolate, while not exactano
Is within a nano
Of being heavano.

There once was a man named Boclate
Who dreamed all night of eating chocolate
Under a willow.
That silly fellow,
By morning, he’d eaten his pillow.

Won’t be a zombie
They only like to eat brains
I love chocolate

 

 

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Bacon & Chocolate Party’s Plan For The Zombie Apocalypse

  • Plan A: Throw gummi brains at the zombies. (We have a huge stockpile. Our vast army of flying squirrels will distribute the gummi brains at the first signs of a zombie outbreak.
    Plan B:  Encourage the zombies to go to countries or regions where people eat brains.
    (One of our flying squirrels.)
       
  • No one has ever said zombies have to eat human brains. Sure, zombies prefer human brains. I mean, it takes the same time to break open a skull and scoop out the insides no matter how big the animal or person. So, it would take a lot of time to eat a lot of rat brains for example. But there are lots of countries and regions where brains of many, many animals are sold at street restaurants. Just watch Anthony Bourdain’s “No Reservations'” on the Travel Channel. And what zombie could resist spiced, freshly kebabed brains? I know this is a bit gruesome, but fighting zombies isn’t for squeamish. Rest assured, the Bacon & Chocolate Party, and only the Bacon & Chocolate Party, has your back on this one.
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Today Is International Zombie Haiku Day

Please mister, zombie
Wouldn’t you rather have some
Nice lamb’s brains instead?

The hungry zombies
Want our brains because they are
All politicians.

What wine goes with brains?
Perhaps a fine rose would do
Because brains are gray.

Ninety-eight percent
Of  my brain remains unused.
You may have that much.

Rejoice, geeks and nerds.
Babes will soon lust for your brains.
They’ll be zombies, though.

Zombies, remember to
Pick up after your trash and
Your detached fingers.

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Survival Tip For The Coming Zombie Apocalypse

Zombies like brains, right? So always make sure that you have a supply of brains on hand. Where do you get these brains? In French restaurants. These places always serve cerveaux d’agneau, or lamb’s brains.

So when the zombie apocalypse begins, get on the first plane to France and stampede  the nearest restaurant. When the zombies invade your eatery, simply hand them your cerveaux d’agneau. The zombies will love it. Not only will they appreciate avoiding the messy and tedious business of cracking open your skull to get to your brains, but they will surely savor the exquisite combination of spices that every French chef lovingly adds to his creations. An apocalypse is no reason to stop being a loving, giving person.

Bon appetit.

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