Posts Tagged With: haiku

Grammar Lust

 

GRAMMAR HAIKU #1

It is a truism.

Good grammar and chocolates

Will impress your date.

 

GRAMMAR HAIKU #2

Remember tonight,

Lust is fleeting but grammar

Endures forever.

– Paul R. De Lancey,  Ph.D.

 

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: haiku, lust, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Laundry

LAUNDRY HAIKU #1

Laundry, oh laundry

I hate you. I will hate you.

’till the end of time.

 

LAUNDRY HAIKU #2

You, pile of laundry,

I so wanted to eat out.

But then I saw you.

 

LAUNDRY HAIKU #3

I have just one sock.

A parallel universe

Has the other one.

 

Paul R. De Lancey

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: tired | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

On the Phone With Medical Insurance

 

INSURANCE HAIKU #1

I call insurance.

I see continents drifting

While I wait, wait, wait

 

INSURANCE HAIKU #2

The check’s in the mail.

Your call is very important.

We’ll be right with you.

– Paul R. De Lancey

 

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Golf Serenity Through Yoga

 

GOLF HAIKU

Iggy piggy poo.
Stupid ass devil golf club,
I shall destroy you.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook,  Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on  amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Air Fryer Garlic Butter Salmon

American Entree

AIR FRYER GARLIC BUTTER SALMON

INGREDIENTS

2 4-ounce skin-on salmon fillets
⅛ teaspoon pepper
¼ teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons butter
1¼ teaspoons minced garlic
1¼ teaspoons lemon juice
1 lemon
¼ teaspoon parsley (⅛ teaspoon at a time)

SPECIAL UTENSILS

air fryer
parchment paper

Serves 2. Takes 40 minutes.

PREPARATION

Pat the salmon fillets dry with a paper towel. Rub salmon with pepper and salt. Add butter, garlic, and lemon juice to small mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended. Brush salmon fillets all over butter/lgarlic/emon juice. Cut lemon into 4 quarters.

Place parchment paper in bottom of air fryer. Preheat air fryer to 400 degrees. Cook for 10 minutes at 390 degrees or until salmon flakes easily with fork. Garnish with 2 lemon quarters and ⅛ teaspoon parsley. Repeat for 2nd salmon fillet.

TIDBITS

1) The ancient Sumerians, who lived in what would become modern Iraq, developed writing in 3500 B.C. They wrote on garlic-butter salmon fillets, using dried parsley instead of ink.

3) The above photo is a Sumerian haiku. It says:
You are so pretty
Leave that oaf of yurs and we’ll
Flee this here city*

* = Haikus were hard to write even back then, especially without spell and grammar checkers.

4) But Sumerian salmon haikus quickly died out. It was simply too expensive to get salmon from Alaska to Sumeria. All the salmon went bad on that ten-year voyage. The lovely object of a man’s affection never got close enough to the reeking salmon to read to love poem. Summeria’s birth rate briefly crashed to zero until a bright young woman thought of etching symbols in clay. Whew!

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook,  Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on  amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Manners: Talking to Ladies

Manners Haiku

Be nice and say please.
Clean up after your murders.
Always say thank you.

– Paul R. De Lancey,

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook,  Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on  amazon.com.

Categories: Mr. Etiquette | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

You Keep Using the Word

 

Haiku to Heteroskedasticity

Some words are quite long
Heteroskedasticity
Is one of those those.*

* = “Those those” because the last line needs five syllables. Haikus aren’t easy to write either.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook,  Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on  amazon.com.

 

Categories: I Do Not Think It Means | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Haiku Monday

Where are my glasses?
I cannot see without them.
Oh, where did they go?

Tacos, oh tacos,
You’re the world’s tastiest food
Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm

Zombies, oh zombies,
You are ever so scary,
Just less than live folks

Do zombies need to
practice social distancing?
I dont want them close.

My glasses are lost.
Can’t see approaching zombies.
I am so, so doomed.

Science is helpful.
I often use my landline
to find my cell phone.

Laundry, oh laundry,
In apocalyptic times,
Will you still pile up?

See the butterfly.
Does it know its algebra?
Does it have a need?

Knowing calculus,
Does it help you get a date?
Or is it just looks?

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: poems | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Bad Artist #27, Miracles

BadArtist27

Diaper Haiku #1

Oh you diapers,

You need better fragrances.

The standard one stinks.

 

Diaper Haiku #2

Sam changed a di’per

His wife will forever hear

Of this selfless deed.

– Paul De Lancey, Bad Artist

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: cartoon, humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Bad Artist #26, Technology

BadArtist26

ON HOLD HAIKU #1

You put me on hold

What’d I ever do to you

To be put on hold.

 

ON HOLD HAIKU #1

I am still on hold

I feel my will to live leave.

I grow old waiting.

– Paul De Lancey, Bad Artist

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: cartoon, humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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