Posts Tagged With: haiku

Haiku Monday

Where are my glasses?
I cannot see without them.
Oh, where did they go?

Tacos, oh tacos,
You’re the world’s tastiest food
Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm

Zombies, oh zombies,
You are ever so scary,
Just less than live folks

Do zombies need to
practice social distancing?
I dont want them close.

My glasses are lost.
Can’t see approaching zombies.
I am so, so doomed.

Science is helpful.
I often use my landline
to find my cell phone.

Laundry, oh laundry,
In apocalyptic times,
Will you still pile up?

See the butterfly.
Does it know its algebra?
Does it have a need?

Knowing calculus,
Does it help you get a date?
Or is it just looks?

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: poems | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Bad Artist #27, Miracles

BadArtist27

Diaper Haiku #1

Oh you diapers,

You need better fragrances.

The standard one stinks.

 

Diaper Haiku #2

Sam changed a di’per

His wife will forever hear

Of this selfless deed.

– Paul De Lancey, Bad Artist

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: cartoon, humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Bad Artist #26, Technology

BadArtist26

ON HOLD HAIKU #1

You put me on hold

What’d I ever do to you

To be put on hold.

 

ON HOLD HAIKU #1

I am still on hold

I feel my will to live leave.

I grow old waiting.

– Paul De Lancey, Bad Artist

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: cartoon, humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Bad Artist #25, Supermarkets

BadArtist25

SUPERMARKET-SIGN HAIKU #1

Please sir, will you move?

Stop reading those cans and move.

I need to buy soup.

 

SUPERMARKET-SIGN HAIKU #2

Don’t care if it has

Monosodium glutamate

Buy the frickin’ can.

 

– Paul De Lancey, Bad Artist

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: cartoon, humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Bad Artist #24, Resolutions

BadArtist24RESOLUTIONS HAIKU #1

I won’t eat any

Lutefisk, mushrooms, and haggis

No matter how tempted.

 

RESOLUTIONS HAIKU #2

I hereby resolve

Not to misplace my glasses

More than once daily.

– Paul R. De Lancey,  Bad Artist

 

 

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cartoon, humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Bad Artist #23, Christmas

CHRISTMAS HAIKU #1BadArtist23

I will always know

Why this day is so special.

Thank you, Jesus.

 

CHRISTMAS HAIKU #2

Didn’t shop Walmart.

Christmas lights up for next year.

I must have been good.

– Paul R. De Lancey,  Bad Artist

 

 

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cartoon, humor | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Bad Artist #21, Driving

BadArtist21

DRIVING HAIKU #1

Dodge City Block

I got to the stop sign first.

Please do not kill me.

 

DRIVING HAIKU #2

You have a big car.

I’ve a sonic obliterator.

You will yield to me.

 

– Paul R. De Lancey,  Bad Artist

 

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

 

Categories: cartoon, humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Bad Artist #19, Laundry

BadArtist19

LAUNDRY HAIKU #1

Laundry, oh laundry

I hate you. I will hate you.

’till the end of time.

 

LAUNDRY HAIKU #2

You, pile of laundry,

I so wanted to eat out.

But then I saw you.

 

– Paul R. De Lancey,  Bad Artist

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: cartoon, humor | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Bad Artist #15, Supermarkets

BadArtist15

SUPERMARKET HAIKU #1

Blocking the aisle.

Have you taken up residence?

Please make up your mind.

 

SUPERMARKET HAIKU #2

Blocking the aisle.

Hey, are you memorizing

The ingredients?

 

– Paul R. De Lancey,  Bad Artist

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: cartoon, food, humor | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Bad Artist #14, Insurance

BadArtist14

 

INSURANCE HAIKU #1

I call insurance.

I see continents drifting

While I wait, wait, wait

 

INSURANCE HAIKU #2

The check’s in the mail.

Your call is very important.

We’ll be right with you.

– Paul R. De Lancey,  Bad Artist

 

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cartoon, humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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