Posts Tagged With: Ethiopian

Kulu’wa (Beef tomato stew)

Eritrean Entree

KULU’WA
(Beef tomato stew)

INGREDIENTSkuluwa

1 pound lamb or beef stew meat
2 garlic cloves
1 onion
3 tomatoes
2½ tablespoons unsalted butter
1 teaspoon berbere spice
¼ teaspoon pepper
¼ teaspoon salt

Serves 4. Takes 40 minutes.

PREPARATION

Cut meat into ½” cubes. Dice garlic, onion, and tomatoes. Add butter, garlic, and onion to pan. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Add tomato, berbere spice, pepper, and salt. Stir until well blended. Add meat cubes. Sauté at medium-high for 15 minutes or until meat is tender. Goes well with injera, Eritrean or Ethiopian flatbread.

TIDBITS

1) When objects recede from you at a very fast rate, say 43.7 miles per second, they will look redder than they really are. Astronomers call this display a “red shift.”

2) The entire universe is expanding. This is why some marriages fail. The partners are literally getting farther apart from each other every second. And that brown freckle? The expanding universe makes it looks redder as well. The freckle now looks like a hickey to your already suspicious spouse. Harsh words get said, words that can’t be taken back and soon you’re on your way to divorce court when a cop pulls you over for going 43.7 miles per second, which is way more than you thought your Honda FitTM could do even with high-octane gas. You try to tell the lawman that your speed comes from the expanding universe. He shakes his head. “Like I haven’t heard that one before.”

3) This is also why many people haven’t eaten this recipe’s red entree. Kulu’wa. The redness means it is moving away from you at 43.7 miles per second. You really have to be a speedy eater to get even one delicious spoonful in your mouth. Why, in just one minute your kulu’wa has made across the country. Most of my red soups end up at my brother’s kitchen table. He says, “Thank you.”

4) One of my tomato soups ended up at Cape Canaveral. NASA quickly bolted it down and is currently investigating its possibilities in powering intergalactic space travel.

Chef Paul

LutheranCookbook

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, are available on amazon.com

The cookbook is also available as an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

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One Day Injera – Ethiopian Flatbread

Ethiopian Entree

ONE DAY INJERA
(flatbread)

INGREDIENTSOneDayInjera-

1½ cups teff flour
2 cups water

½ teaspoon baking powder
¼ teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons ghee or vegetable oil

Makes 4 injeras. Takes 24 hours to ferment and 20 minutes to cook.

SPECIAL UTENSILS

no-stick pan
cheesecloth or thin towel

PREPARATION

Add teff flour and water to large mixing bowl. Mix with whisk until well blended. Cover batter with cheesecloth, or thin kitchen towel, and let sit in the open air for about 24 hours. This ferments the batter. Batter is fermented when surface cracks and bubbles appear. You can cook with the batter sooner if you wish, but you will get less of the customary sourness of injera.

Add baking powder and salt to mixing bowl. Mix with whisk until batter is well blended. Add ½ tablespoon ghee to pan. Use low heat to melt ghee. Add ¼ of the batter, about ⅔ cup, from mixing bowl to pan. Shake pan so that batter completely covers the surface of the pan. Batter should be somewhat thicker than a crepe. Cover and cook batter for 3-to-5 minutes or until bubbles appear on the top and the edges of the batter begin to curl. Do not flip the injera flatbread. Be careful not to brown the bottom of the batter. (Use your x-ray vision to check. If you fell asleep when your teacher taught how to do this, lift up an edge of the injera with a spatula and take a peek.) Repeat for remaining injeras.

Remove injera flatbread carefully with spatula. Serve with doro wat (chicken stew), siga wat (beef stew), sega wat (lamb stew), mesir wat (red lentil puree), or whatever you wish. Simply tear off pieces of injera and eat by hand. Alternatively. roll up injera and then eat by hand.

TIDBITS

1) Injera is the national bread of Ethiopia.

2) One-day injera sounds a lot like “guantanamera” a famous song from Cuba.

3) A guantamera is woman from Gunatanamo, Cuba. So “Guantanamera, guajira, Guantanamera” means “Guantamo, Cuban woman, peasant girl, Guantanamo, Cuban woman.” It sounds a lot better in Spanish, doesn’t it?”

4) Guajira sounds a lot like “tequila.”

5) Guantanamera sounds a lot like “one-ton tomato.”

6) So the whole phrase seems to be “One-ton tomato, tequila, one ton tomato.”

7) Perhaps that is part of the original lyrics and the musically awkward refrain of “Guantamo, Cuban woman, peasant girl, Guantanamo, Cuban woman” is the misheard version.

8) It has to be. I mean if you’re a peasant farmer from Guantanamo, or any place for that matter, wouldn’t you want to grow a one-ton tomato? I know I would.

9) This desire to grow a huge, money-making tomato would naturally manifest in peasant song as any culinary psychologist would tell you.

10) This need to produce the world’s biggest tomato would find voice while drinking hard, native liquour. Hence, the inclusion of the word tequila.

11) Tequila is the muse of many of the world’s greatest songwriters.

12) Tequila is the muse of many horrible neighborhood singers. These cauterwaulers sometimes get shot. Hence the phrase, a shot of tequila.

13) So how did “One-ton tomato, tequila, one ton tomato” get corrupted into “Guantanamera, guajira, guantanamera?”

14) Simple, on Valentine’s Day, 1958, the beguiling, Juanita Albondigas sashayed by the handsome Pablo Desayuno. “Hola, Señor.” She batted her eyes. “Are you singing about me?”

Pablo, plastered enough to sing about a humongous fruit often miscalled a vegetable was sober enough to realize that a hot chiquita was hitting on him. “Ho, ho, I am indeed singing about you. You are the Guanatanamoan peasant girl of this song.”

Juanita’s peasant garb fell to the ground. The besotted Pablo fell to the ground as well. Choruses of “Ai, ai, ai” filled the air. A month later, they got married and set immediately to growing the first one-ton tomato. In early 1959, they produced the world’s first nineteen pound tomato. This incredible feat garnered them the cover story of the prestigious, “Tomato World.”

15) Juanita and Pedro became so involved in their efforts, they scarcely noticed the Cuban Revolution of 1959, the Cuban Missile Crisis of 1962, and the Justin Bieber phenomenon of 2009.

16) Tomato enthusiasts report that the Desayunos are currently growing 983-pound tomatoes. The worthy farmers are growing old. They will very soon be turning over their quest to their many children and grandchildren. I wish them well.

– Chef Paul

LutheranCookbook

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, are available in paperback or Kindle on amazon.com

The cookbook is also available as an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Ethiopian Beef Stew (Siga Wat)

Ethiopian Entree

SIGA WAT
(beef stew)

INGREDIENTSSigaWat-

1½ pounds, chuck or other cut of beef
4 garlic cloves
2 onions
3 tablespoons ghee or vegetable oil
1½ cups water
2 tablespoons Berbere spice mix
1 teaspoon ginger
1 teaspoon paprika
1 teaspoon salt
3 tablespoons tomato paste
4 eggs
2 Roma tomatoes

PREPARATION

Cut chuck into 1″ cubes. Dice garlic and onion. Add onion garlic, and ghee to large pot. Sauté on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Reduce heat to low. Add chuck cubes, water, Berbere spice mix, ginger, paprika, salt, and tomato paste. Cover and simmer for 40 minutes or until meat is tender. Stir occasionally.

While beef and spices simmer, boil 4 eggs. Remove eggs and let them cool. Peel eggs and cut egg one into 4 slices. Cut tomatoes into 6 slices each. Top stew with egg and tomato. This dish goes on injera (See recipe.) or on pita bread.

TIDBITS

1) Ghee is clarified butter.

2) Ghee makers make ghee. They have been making ghee for centuries. Not the same people, of course, successive generations take over.

3) Ghee makers make it on their knee, in a tree, for a fee, not for free oh gee, you see, for me, for we, for a bee, mais oui. hee, hee. The clarified butter industry is an ebullient one.

4) Indeed, people are so happy when making ghee, they sing with glee. And they form formidable glee clubs, and enter competitions. Every year an Ethiopian glee club wins the International Glee Competition, held in Östersund, Sweden.

5) Swedish ghee makers, of course, are avid readers of Dr. Seuss. They’ve also all devoured War and Peace by Tolstoy. Go figure.

– Chef Paul

LutheranCookbook

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, are available in paperback or Kindle on amazon.com

The cookbook is also available as an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Egg Coffee

Norwegian Appetizer

EGG COFFEE

INGREDIENTS??????????

9 cups water (1⅓ cups more later)
½ cup freshly ground coffee
⅓ cup water (1 cup more later)
egg
1 cup water.

PREPARATION

Add 9 cups water to large coffee pot or pan. Bring water to boil. While water comes to boil in coffee pot, add coffee, ⅓ cup water and egg to mixing bowl. Mix with whisk or fork. (This mixture looks like potting soil.)

Add coffee/water/egg mix to boiling water. Boil for 3 minutes. Remove coffee pot from heat. Add 1 cup water. Let coffee settle for 10 minutes. Pour coffee through strainer or coffee filters.

This coffee is a lot less bitter than the regular brews and should require less than the normal amount of cream and sugar or none at all.

TIDBITS

1) Historians claim coffee was discovered about a thousand years ago by an Ethiopian goatherd whose goats were bounding with caffeinated energy. How do we know this when we don’t even know how single socks keep disappearing in our clothes dryers?

2). It’s frightening to think that if the goats had only a few more weeks of caffeinated existence, the highly energetic critters could have done their grazing chores in no time at all. They would then have had time to ponder the infinite. Sure, their brains are tiny compared to ours, but hyped up on caffeine they would have to figure that a goat’s life is to give milk and goat meat.

3) To give goat meat means to die. Fast thinking goats wouldn’t have liked that. No, not one bit. And back then goats far outnumbered humans. They would have learned goat karate, attacked us, and gained their independence in regions where human warriors didn’t wear armor. Not long after that the coffee-drinking goats would have developed their own armor, their own spears, and their own catapults. We humans would have been overwhelmed by vast, well-equipped goat armies. We would have had to become vegetarians and the goat’s servants. It nearly happened.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Ethiopian Dabo Kolo (Spicy bread bites)

Ethiopian Appetizer

DABO KOLO
(Spicy bread bites)

INGREDIENTSDaboKolo-

2 cups wheat flour
2 tablespoons berbere spice
1 tablespoon sugar
1 1/4 teaspoons salt
4 tablespoons butter
2/3 cup water
no-stick spray

SPECIAL UTENSIL

cookie tin

PREPARATION

Take butter out sufficiently in advance to let it soften. (Less preferred is nuking it in the microwave for 15 seconds. The worst way is hitting it with a sledge hammer. Sure there’s never been made a half stick that won’t soften under the blows of such a heavy, blunt instrument, but you have to ask yourself, “Do I really want butter all over the cabinets? Would I truly want a hole in the counter top?”)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Add flour, berbere spice, sugar, and salt  to mixing bowl. Combine with whisk or fork. Add water. Knead mixture for 5 minutes or until you have a stiff dough or paste. Add softened butter. Knead mix for 5 minutes.

Tear off a ball of dough about 1″ across. Roll it in your palms until it looks like a brown bread pencil about 1/2″ wide. Spray cookie tin with no-stick spray. Put brown bread pencils on cookie sheet. Put cookie sheet in oven. Bake at 350 degrees for 10 minutes. Turn brown bread pencils over and cook for another 10-to-20 minutes or until they become lightly browned (Okay, a slightly different brown as they started brown.)

Serve to guests you like. If you don’t like your visitors, serve them anyway. Just tell them these bread bites are sweets.

TIDBITS

1) Salt is used to preserve food and add flavor.

2) S.A.L.T.. the Strategic Arms Limitation Treaty was designed to preserve peace by limiting the construction of nuclear weapons.

3) However, butter is an anagram for Bert Ut. Bert Ut was Mrs. Ut’s little boy, Bert.

4) Moreover, Dabo Kolo is an anagram for: Look! A Bod!, Lab Book., and Bodo KolaTM.

5) And by the way, does it still make sense to party like it’s 1999?

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Yetakelt W’et (Spicy Vegetable Stew) From Forthcoming Cookbook

Ethiopian Entree

YETAKELT W’ET
(Spicy vegetable stew)

INGREDIENTS

1 small, or 1/2 big, white onion
1 large ripe red tomato
2 garlic cloves
3 big carrots
1 russet potato
8 ounce bag snow peas
1 tablespoon Berbere spice mix (See recipe for BERBERE SPICE MIX INGREDIENTS, if you can’t find the mix)
1/4 cup Niter Kibbeh (See recipe in this book for this.)
1 tablespoon paprika
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1/4 teaspoon salt
6 ounce can tomato paste
2 cups vegetable broth

Goes well with injera, Ethiopian flat bread.

PREPARATION

Mince onion and garlic cloves. Dice carrots, potato, and tomato. Cut snow peas into bits 1/2-inch wide. Sauté onion, garlic, Berbere spice, paprika, pepper, and salt in Niter Kibbeh for 2 minutes on medium heat.

Add carrots, potato, and snow peas. Sauté for 10 minutes more. Stir occasionally. Add tomato, tomato paste, and vegetable broth. Bring to boil on medium-high heat. Stir occasionally. Reduce heat to warm and simmer for 15 minutes.

Goes well with Injera (Ethiopian flat bread.) and yogurt. (See something other than fruit goes well with yogurt.)

TIDBITS

1) Yogurt used to be spelled yoghurt.

2) This “h” in the word meant that business and governments had to hire typists, use up more ink, and consume more paper every time they discussed yogurt.

3) Gradually, efficiency experts pressed for well, efficiency, and within decades the “h” was gone from yogurt.

4) Simultaneously, the budgets of nations and corporations around the world dropped by, quite possibly, several millionths of a percent.

5) Our world gets better every day.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Picture Of Entrees, Desserts, And Appetizers From My Forthcoming Cookbook

Ice cream soda to lemongrass chicken to niter kibeh to pepper pot.

 

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Doro Alicha (Mild chicken stew)

Ethiopian Entree

DORO ALICHA
(Mild chicken stew)

INGREDIENTS

3 pounds white onions
1 garlic clove
2 chicken breasts
2 cups Niter Kibbeh (See recipe in this book for this spicy butter.)
1/2 cup water
1/2 cup red wine
1 1/2 tablespoons lime juice
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1/4 teaspoon ginger
1/4 teaspoon salt

water
6 eggs

Goes well with injera, Ethiopian flat bread.

PREPARATION

Peel and mince 3 pounds onions. (You’ll cry over this recipe.) Mince garlic clove. Cut chicken into 1-inch cubes. Put chicken cubes in bowl. Coat chicken cubes with lime juice, pepper, ginger, and salt.

Put onion, garlic, Niter Kibbeh, water, and wine in large pot and saute at medium-high heat for about 5 minutes. Stir frequently.) Add coated chicken cubes. Simmer for 45 minutes at warm heat, or until most of the water is gone, and it looks like a stew. (Remember, most people have no idea what Doro Alicha looks like. So no matter how it turns out, say it came out well.) Stir occasionally.

Meanwhile back at the range, boil eggs, peel them, and slice them into fourths. (Head ‘em up, move ‘em out.) Put eggs on top of stew and serve.

TIDBITS

1) Lucy, a 3.2-million-year old human skeleton, was discovered in Ethiopia in 1974

2) Lucy van Pelt, the character from the comic strip Peanuts was created in 1951.

3) Lucy of Ethiopia was for many years the oldest human skeleton. Unfortunately, just lost her oldest status to Selam, a 3.45 million year old skeleton. Honestly, you don’t look a day over 3 million.

4) The last new comic strip featuring Lucy van Pelt ran in early 2000.

5) The new millennium has not been kind to either Lucy.

6) Lucy van Pelt used to whisk away the football before Charlie Brown could kick it.

7) Maybe, just maybe, Lucy of Ethiopia did the same thing to another boy 3.2 millions ago?

8) And did they have tailgate parties at football games way back then?

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Berbere Stew

Ethiopian Entree

BERBERE STEW

INGREDIENTS

1/2 medium yellow onion
1 garlic clove
1/2 russet potato
3 baby carrots
1 1/4 cups water
3/4 cup orange lentils
2 1/4 teaspoons Berbere spice mix (See recipe for BERBERE SPICE MIX INGREDIENTS, if you can’t find the     mix)
1 14.5 can diced tomatoes

PREPARATION

You will make your culinary life easy for yourself and everyone else within cussing distance if you soak your lentil beans before starting to cook. (It is a little known fiction that 37% of all aggressive dictators since 1738 ate unsoaked beans at one time or another.)

Anyway, there are two ways to soak your beans. The first way is the “quick soak” method. Soak lentils in 6-to-8 cups of water. Heat on high until water boils. Boil for 2 minutes. Turn off heat and cover for 1 hour. Drain and rinse. The second way is the “slow method.” Soak lentils in 6-to-8 cups of water for at least 6 hours. (This give you time to run marathons in record times with about an hour break in between.) Drain and rinse.

Peel and dice onion, garlic cloves, and potato. Dice baby carrots. Put water, lentils, onion, garlic, potatoes, baby carrots, bebere spice mix in soup pot. Cook over medium-low heat for about 20 minutes or until lentils soften. Stir periodically with increasing frequency as you reach the 20-minute mark.

Let me stress that the time necessary to soften lentils varies with the time it soaked beforehand and the temperature at which they are cooked. So it is quite a good idea and periodically monitor the softness of the lentils. (Too many business mergers have been stopped because one CEO made another CEO wait too long for unsoaked lentils to soften.)

Add diced tomatoes and heat at low-medium heat for another 15 minutes.

Serve in a bowl or over rice on a plate.

1) Cardamom, used to make the Berbere spice mix, costs about $60 a pound.

2) Many of today’s cars weigh about a ton and cost about $25,000.

3) The same car made from cardamom would run you about $120,000.

4) That’s before labor costs. Who knows how much it would cost to hire workers skilled enough to fashion cardamom into an internal combustion engine, tires, windows, steering wheels and all the fixin’s.

5) Saffron costs about $170 an ounce or about one-tenth the price of gold or four times the cost of silver.

6) Thank goodness, keeping up with the Joneses doesn’t mean owning a $5,600,000 saffron car.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Niter Kibeh (seasoned, clarified butter) From Forthcoming Cookbook

Ethiopian Appetizer

NITER KIBEH

INGREDIENTS

1 pound unsalted butter
2 garlic cloves
1 cinnamon stick
3 cloves
1/2 teaspoon cardamom
1 teaspoon ginger
1/2 teaspoon turmeric
1/2 teaspoon fenugreek seeds

PREPARATION

Mince garlic cloves. Melt butter on low heat in saucepan. Add garlic cloves, cinnamon stick, cloves, cardamom, ginger, turmeric, and fenugreek seeds. Simmer on lowest heat, between off and warm, for 1 hour. Stir occasionally.

Put bowl beneath colander. Pour buttery liquid into colander. Discard solids in colander. Keep buttery liquid. This Ethiopian butter may be stored in the refrigerator.

Makes two cups. Be the first on your block to do so.

TIDBITS

1) In 1870, the French Emperor Napoleon III asked his nation to come up with a substitute for butter.

2) In 1870, the German Kaiser’s armies at Sedan captured Napoleon and over 100,000 thousand soldiers under his command.

3) This was one of the decisive defeats in the Franco-Prussian War.

4) This war gave birth to the German nation, the French Republic, and sowed the seeds for World War I, the rise of Nazi Germany, and World War II.

5) We are less sure if Napoleon III enjoyed margarine on his toast during the battle of Sedan.

6) Maybe if Napoleon had spent more time instead getting the world’s first machine guns from his nation’s arsenals to his troops in the field the war would have turned out differently.

7) But then we wouldn’t be able to have cinnamon toast with fewer calories.

8) There are pluses and minuses to every culinary advance.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, international, recipes, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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