Posts Tagged With: pie

Chicken and Hearts of Palm Pie

Brazilian Entree

CHICKEN AND HEARTS OF PALM PIE

INGREDIENTS – DOUGH

4 cups flour (3 tablespoons more later)
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1½ cups lard or butter
1 egg

INGREDIENTS – FILLING

1½ pounds chicken breast
3 garlic cloves
1 large onion
1 pound hearts of palm
3 tomatoes
¼ cup vegetable oil
2 teaspoons parsley
¼ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon salt

INGREDIENTS – ASSEMBLY

2 tablespoons flour (1 more tablespoon flour later)
no-stick spray
1 tablespoon flour
1 egg yolk

SPECIAL UTENSIL

8″ x 8″ casserole dish
Serves 9. Takes 2 hours.

PREPARATION – DOUGH

Add 4 cups flour, baking powder, and salt to large mixing bowl. Blend together with whisk. Add lard and egg. Moosh together, or knead, with hands until dough is well blended. Separate dough into 2 balls. One ball should be almost twice as big as the smaller one. Cover dough balls and refrigerate for 30 minutes.

PREPARATION – FILING

While dough refrigerates, cut chicken breast into ½” cubes. Mince garlic cloves and onion. Dice heart of palm and tomatoes. Add garlic, onion, and vegetable oil to pan. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until garlic and onion soften. Stir frequently. Add chicken cubes. Sauté for 10 minutes or until chicken starts to brown. Stir frequently. Add hearts of palm, tomatoes, parsley, pepper, and salt. Sauté for 5 minutes at medium heat. Stir occasionally. Remove from heat and let cool for 30 minutes.

PREPARATION – ASSEMBLY

While filling cools. preheat oven to 350 degrees. Dust flat surface with 2 tablespoons flour. Flatten larger flour ball until you get a square that is 12″ wide or large enough to cover the bottom of the casserole both and its sides . Spray casserole dish with no-stick spray. Carefully place 12″ dough square into pie pan. Remove any dough hanging over the edge with a knife. Ladle filing into pie pan. Smooth filling with spoon.

Dust flat surface with 1 tablespoon flour. Flatten remaining, small dough ball until you get a square that is 8″ wide or large enough to cover the filling. Carefully place 8″ dough square on top of filling. Remove any dough hanging over the edge with a knife. Add egg yolk to small bowl. Beat egg yolk with whisk. Brush egg yolk onto top crust. Poke 4 holes crust with toothpick or fork. This will let steam escape. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes or until golden brown.

TIDBITS

1) Some stores carry hearts of palm.

2) Others do not.

3) Mine didn’t. When I went to pay for my groceries the checker asked, “Did you find everything you were looking for?” I answered no, I had been looking for hearts of palm.

4) The checker favored me with a deer in the headlights look.

5) They called over a box boy to help me look. He couldn’t find it. I think we were all happy when I left.

6) The same thing occurred even when I was looking for galangal, Thai basil, or dandelions.

7) Also, don’t even think of asking for a type of radish that is found only in Northwest China and then only occasionally.

8) So the next time the checkers ask you, “Did you find everything?” answer yes.

9) I know we thought the supermarkets had everything when we were little. But they don’t. It’s disillusioning I know.

10) Kinda like finding out Santa Claus didn’t exist.

11) Life is hard.

12) But I have bunnies living in my front yard and that’s way cool.

Chef Paulcookbookhunks

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with 180 wonderful recipes is available on amazon.com. My newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, is also available on amazon.com

Categories: cuisine, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Vidalia Onion Pie

American Entree

VIDALIA ONION PIE

INGREDIENTSVidaliaOnionPie-

3 Vidalia onions
4 tablespoons butter
2 large eggs
2 tablespoons flour
¼ cup milk
1 cup sour cream
¼ teaspoon pepper
¼ teaspoon salt
2 9-inch pie shells
⅓ cup grated Parmesan cheese

Makes 2 pies. Takes 50 minutes.

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Thinly slice Vidalia onions. Add butter and onion slices to pan. Sauté on medium-heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Add onion and its drippings, eggs, flour, milk, sour cream, pepper, and salt to large mixing bowl. Blend well with whisk. Pour into pie shell. Sprinkle with Parmesan cheese.

Bake in oven at 425 degrees for 15 minutes. Lower temperature to 325 degrees and bake for an additional 20-to-40 minutes or until center of pie is firm.

TIDBITS

1) Vidalia onions are too flat to be used in onion bowling. You need a completely round onion for onion bowling. The onion’s root must not stick out.

2) Don’t show up at the Onion Bowling Championship in Scalene, Iowa with ovoid and misshapen onions. Your onion will go into the gutter time after time. People will laugh at you. And have you tried to pick up a 7-10 split with a lumpy onion? Well, it’s difficult!

3). The roundest onions come found Roundia, Tennessee.

4) Onion bowling was particularly popular during the Civil War. Union and Confederate armies fighting in Tennessee would periodically declare three-day truces to hold onion-bowling tournaments. A good time was had by all. The Southerners usually won, having been raised since infancy to bowl onions.

5) Many culinary historians believe onion bowling would have won out over baseball in the South had the Rebels won the war. But the Yankees prevailed, Reconstruction followed, and the Southern states had to adopt baseball as their primary sport in order to be readmitted to the Union.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, history, humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Peanut Butter Pumpkin Pie

American Dessert

PEANUT BUTTER PUMPKIN PIE

INGREDIENTSPeanutButterPumpkinPie-

2 eggs
¼ teaspoon cardamom, ground
½ tablespoon cinnamon
¼ teaspoon cloves, ground
¾ teaspoon ginger, ground
¼ teaspoon nutmeg
¼ teaspoon salt
¾ cup sugar
½ cup creamy peanut butter
1 15-ounce can 100% pure pumpkin
¼ cup honey
1 12-ounce can evaporated milk
2 x 8″-to-9″graham-cracker pie shells or 1 x 9″ deep dish graham-cracker pie shell
whipped cream for topping

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Add eggs, cardamom, cinnamon, cloves, ginger, nutmeg, salt, and sugar to large bowl. Beat eggs with whisk. Add peanut butter, pumpkin, and honey. Mix with whisk. Add evaporated milk. Mix again with whisk. Pour mixture into pie shell. Put filled pie shell in oven and bake at 425 degrees for 15 minutes. Reduce temperature to 350 degrees. Bake an additional 40-to-45 minutes or until toothpick inserted into the pie’s center comes out clean. Cool on wire rack for 2 hours. Serve with life-giving whipped cream. Yay.

TIDBITS

1) Florida’s highest point is only 345 feet above sea level.

2) This is why few people travel to Florida for downhill skiing. That, and Florida’s lack of snow.

4) But even if Florida’s snowfall increased significantly, downhill skiing there would still not be popular. The state has no ski lifts, no not one.

5) And how do we know the altitude at the bottom of the high point’s slope isn’t something like 318 feet? That would only be a drop of 27 feet. And maybe it’s a gentle slope. Maybe it takes you a mile to ski down that 27 feet. Such a rate of descent would discourage most thrill-seeking skiers.

6) Of course, that slope might be exciting enough for snails. Do snails even have skis? I don’t know; I don’t run with that crowd.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Dutch Apple Pie

Dutch Dessert

APPLE PIE

INGREDIENTS – CRUSTApplePie-

¾ cup butter (another 6 tablespoons later)
1½ cups flour (another 1 cup later)
2 tablespoons brown sugar (another ¼ cup later)
¼ teaspoon salt

INGREDIENTS – FILLING

5 Granny Smith or green apples
3 tablespoons cornstarch
⅓ cup sugar (another ¼ cup later)
½ cup water
½ teaspoon cinnamon
¼ teaspoon nutmeg
½ teaspoon vanilla extract
½ cup heavy cream

INGREDIENTS – TOPPING

1 cup flour
¼ cup sugar
¼ cup brown sugar
6 tablespoons butter

SPECIAL UTENSIL

9″ pie plate

PREPARATION – CRUST

Melt ¾ cup butter. Add 1½ cups flour, brown sugar, ¾ cup melted butter, and salt to large mixing bowl. Mix with hands until well blended and mixture becomes a big ball. Press mixture into pie plate.

PREPARATION – FILLING

Peel and dice apples. Add cornstarch, ⅓ cup sugar, water, cinnamon, and nutmeg to mixing bowl. Stir with whisk until smooth. Add mixture to saucepan. Bring to boil using medium-high heat. Cook for 2 minutes or until mixture thickens. Stir constantly. Remove mixture from heat. Add apples and vanilla extract. Stir with whisk. Pour filling into crust. Preheat oven to 360 degrees.
PREPARATION – TOPPING

Add 1 cup flour, ¼ cup sugar, ¼ cup brown sugar, and 6 tablespoons butter to mixing bowl. Mix with whisk until well blended. Crumble topping mixture over filling. Bake at 360 degrees for 40-to-50 minutes or until topping turns golden brown.

TIDBITS

1) The Spanish Inquisition sentenced the entire Dutch population to death in 1568. Tough love, you bet.

2) Or maybe the Spanish Inquisition was just really, really tough on scofflaws.

3) The Dutch give free heroin three time a day to addicts.

4) Contrast the Dutch government’s attitude to heroin addicts versus that of the Spanish Inquisition to the entire Dutch population. The Dutch policy actually resulted in lower rates of heroin addiction while the Spanish policy resulted in a bloody 80-year war with the Dutch

5) If life gives you heroin, make …

6) No, that slogan doesn’t work.

7) If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

8) If life gives you rotten lemons, make rotten lemonade.

9) If life gives you lemons, keep them, well, because they’re free.

10) If life gives your proctologist lemons, reschedule your appointment.

11) If life is dyslexic, it will give you melons.

12) If life gives you lemons, 4 chicken breasts, 1 teaspoon salt, 1¼ cups plain yogurt, ½ onion, 2 garlic cloves, 1 tablespoon garam masala, 1 teaspoon cayenne, ½ teaspoon coriander, 1 teaspoon paprika, and 1 small tomato, make Chicken Tandoori.

13) If life give you Le Mans, go to the race there.

14) If life give you Lenin, emigrate.

15) If life gives you Lennon, “Let It Be.”

16) Bees like lemon blossoms.

17) So life gives us all critters lemons. It’s not just a humano, new word, centric thing.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Key-Lime Pie

American Dessert

KEY LIME PIE

INGREDIENTSKeyLimePie-

1 14-ounce can sweetened condensed milk
1/2 cup key lime juice
4 egg yolks
1 8″ graham-cracker crust.
1 can whipped cream

SPECIAL UTENSIL

electric blender

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

Add condensed milk, key lime juice, and egg yolks to mixing bowl. Blend with electric blender set to “whip” or “cream” until well blended. Pour mixture into graham-cracker crust. Bake pie in oven at 375 degrees for 15 minutes or until toothpick inserted into the pie’s center comes out clean. Cool on wire rack for 2 hours.  Note, key lime pies made with real key lime juice are not green. Add whipped cream if desired. Or even lots and lots of whipped cream.

TIDBITS

1) Contrary to what I would have wished the Key Lime did not come from Key West nor even Key Largo. I researched this by going to Key West and by watching the 1948 movie, Key Largo. Key Largo starred Humphrey Bogart, Lauren Bacall, and Edward G. Robinson. None of these actors ate even a single Key Lime during the entire movie. After the movie? No one knows.

2) Key Limes were first grown in Southern Asia. Historians will tell you that Key Limes made their way to Spain, presumably by hitchhiking as these fruits don’t have legs. Actually, I doubt the whole hitchhiking theory as Key Limes do not have thumbs. You can tell they don’t just by looking at the tiny yellowish-green thingies.

3) Ship crews liked the take Key Limes as the fruit was high in vitamin C and prevented scurvy. Christopher Columbus took Key Limes on his voyages of discovery to the Americas. Indeed, culinary historians praise Spain for the bringing health-enhancing Key Lime to the New World.

4) Do other historians laud the European discoverers? Not so much, pointing to endless wars of conquest by the Spanish conquistadors, Old World diseases that decimated indigenous populations, and wholesale enslavement of the local tribes. Indeed, Europe didn’t balance things with the natives until they brought the hamburger to America in the 19th century. Kinda like a do-over.

– Chef Paul

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World, is available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com4novels

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Chocolate Cream Pie

American Dessert

CHOCOLATE CREAM PIE

INGREDIENTSChocolateCreamPie-

2/3 cup semisweet chocolate bits
8 ounces cream cheese
1/3 cup milk
1/2 cup sugar
1 9″ graham-cracker pie crust

whipped cream

SPECIAL UTENSIL

blender

PREPARATION

Use medium heat to melt chocolate bits in pot. Stir constantly. Add chocolate, cream cheese, milk, and sugar to blender Using “mix” setting on blender until thoroughly blended. Pour mixture into pie crust. Add whipped cream as desired.

TIDBITS

1) “How can you govern a country which has 246 varieties of cheese?” – Charles De Gaulle (French president) From the mid 1600s to the mid 1900s, France suffered from repeated uprisings, rebellions, and riots. The country also had a global empire for well over 200 years.

2) Ancient Romans so loved cheese that they had special kitchens, caerale, just for making cheese. Recurring civil wars convulsed the Empire for over 500 years. Rome also conquered all the lands around the Mediterranean and bit more.

3) The Western Roman Empire collapsed in 476 under the crushing weight of one barbarian invasions, barbarians who wanted Rome’s cheese. The Eastern Roman Empire fell almost a millennium later in 1453. Barbarian cheese lovers just couldn’t work up enough enthusiasm for the Eastern Empire’s limited cheese selection to make a really dedicated invasion.

4) Remembering the unbridled horrors of World War One and World War Two, world leaders got together in Paris, France, June 15, 1947, to form the World Cheese Organization (WCO.) The WCO has worked tirelessly ever since to ensure adequate cheese production and selection in all the nations. They know a country with good and plentiful cheese has no reason to invade its neighbors.

5) Robert Louis Stevenson (crackerjack writer) sums up humanity’s love for cheese when he said,”Many’s the long night I’ve dreamed of cheese – toasted, mostly.” Note, just in case, the WCO is also distributing cheese toasters to the all the people of this globe.

– Chef Paul
cover

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World, is available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, history | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Pumpkin Pie

American Dessert

PUMPKIN PIE

INGREDIENTSPumpkinPie-

2 eggs
1/4 teaspoon cardamom, ground
1/2 tablespoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon cloves, ground
3/4 teaspoon ginger, ground
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup sugar
1 15 ounce can pumpkin mashed or puree
1 12 ounce can evaporated milk
2 8″-to-9″graham-cracker pie shell or 1 9″ deep dish graham-cracker pie shell
whipped cream for topping

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Add eggs, cardamom, cinnamon, cloves, ginger, nutmeg, salt, and sugar to large bowl. Beat eggs with whisk. Add pumpkin. Mix with whisk. Add evaporated milk. Mix again with whisk. Pour mixture into pie shell. Put filled pie shell in oven and bake at 425 degrees for 15 minutes. Reduce temperature to 350 degrees. Bake an additional 40-to-50 minutes or until toothpick inserted into the pie’s center comes out clean. Cool on wire rack for 2 hours. Serve with whipped cream. Yum.

TIDBITS

1) Pumpkins are grown on every continent except Antarctica.

2) Morton, Illinois is the Pumpkin Capital. Go visit its Pumpkin Festival in mid September.

3) Pumpkin seeds have been used to remove freckles.

4) Linus from the comic strip Peanuts believed in the Great Pumpkin. See the lyrics for “I’m dreaming of the Great Pumpkin” and other pumpkin songs.

6) In 2009, motorcyclists in Nigeria wore dried pumpkin shells on their heads to circumvent laws making them wear helmets.

7) Irish lore says Stingy Jack was too miserly to get into Heaven. But Jack had tricked the devil so he wasn’t welcome there either. Jack roamed the darkness between Heaven and Hell with a lit, carved pumpkin. This is probably the basis for pumpkin carving on Halloween. That and freckle fear.

– Chef Paul
cover

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World, is available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Bajan Macaroni Pie From Barbados

Barbadian Entree

BAJAN MACARONI PIE

INGREDIENTSBajanMacaroni-

1 pound macaroni
2 onions
2 tablespoons butter
1 tablespoon banana ketchup
1 tablespoon mayonnaise
1 cup milk
1 tablespoon yellow mustard
3/4 cup grated cheddar cheese (1/4 cup more later)
2 tablespoons Bajan seasoning
2 teaspoons paprika
1/2 tablespoon parsley
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1 egg
1/4 cup grated cheddar cheese

SPECIAL UTENSIL

colander
8″ casserole dish

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Boil water in large pot on high heat. Put macaroni in pot. Boil macaroni for about 12 minutes or until tender Drain macaroni in colander.

While macaroni is boiling, dice onions. Put butter and onions in now empty pot. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onions are tender. Add banana ketchup, mayonnaise, milk, yellow mustard, 3/4 cup cheddar cheese, Bajan seasoning, paprika, parsley, pepper, and egg. Mix with hands. (Pretend you are throttling the people who make hated software upgrades.)

Put mixture in casserole dish. Sprinkle 1/4 cup grated cheddar cheese on top. Bake for 30 minutes or until top starts to turn brown.

TIDBITS

1) You should serve Burgundy alongside the macaroni you serve to your guests. Serving any other wine would be gauche.

2) When the ancient Egyptians entombed their dead they sometimes gave their departed ones cheese for their journey in the afterworld.

3) The first written recipe for mac and cheese comes from thirteenth-century Italy. It used fermented cheese. Hurray!

4) The box recipe for macaroni and cheese appeared in 1802. One year later, Napoleon crowned himself Emperor of France. He would plunge Europe into war after war for most of the next twelve years. Coincidence? Perhaps.

5) The phrase “Big Cheese” originally referred to people wealthy enough to purchase a whole wheel of cheese.

6) Kraft debuted its boxed mac and cheese in 1937. The Great Depression ends two years later.

7) In 1993, Crayola came out with the color, “macaroni and cheese.” We’ve had no global wars since then.

– Chef Paul

cookbookhunks

This recipe is available in my cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, which is available on amazon.com. My newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, is also available on amazon.com

Categories: cuisine, history, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Chicken Tamale Pie

Mexican Entree

CHICKEN TAMALE PIE

INGREDIENTS

1 pound chicken breasts
2 16 ounce cans of chili with beef
1 14.5 ounce can diced tomatoes
1 large jalapeno pepper
1/2 cup grated Four Mexican cheeses (1 1/2 cups total, 1 cup below)
3/4 cup yellow corn meal
2 cups water
1 cup grated Four Mexican cheeses (1 1/2 cups total, 1/2 cup above)

no-stick spray
PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Dice the chicken in a food processor. (If you are using a knife for the chicken, the chicken is most easily diced when partially thawed.) Add chili with beef, diced tomatoes, jalapeno pepper, and 1/ 2 cup of Four Mexican cheeses. Cook on low heat for 15 minutes.

Mix the corn meal and water until well blended. Bring to boil then reduce heat to low. Stir constantly for 12 minutes. Remove from heat.

Lightly coat baking pan with no-stick spray. (You might need two if your baking pans are small.) Pour chicken mix into baking pan. Spoon-corn meal mix on top of chicken mix. Smooth corn meal mix with spoon. Sprinkle remaining 1 cup of Four Mexican cheeses on the top.

Bake for 40 minutes at 375 degrees.

TIDBITS

1) You’ll have to be satisfied with chicken breasts that weigh close to one pound. Scientists have yet to come up with chickens that have breasts weighing exactly one pound.

2) And if scientists could alter the size of chicken breasts at will, don’t you think they’d work on human ones first?

3) My wife cleaned up the huge mess after this meal. Thanks, honey.

4) I’ve seen “corn meal” spelled “cornmeal” as well.

5) It used to be that cans were always 16 ounces. Now they’re 15 ounces or 14.5 or some stupid nonsense like that. The sneaky supermarkets do that instead of raising prices which is more noticeable. It sure makes cooking a little more adventuresome. So now you’re not only a chef, but a trail blazing one as well.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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