Banana Peanut-Butter Milkshake

American Dessert

BANANA PEANUT-BUTTER MILKSHAKE

INGREDIENTS

3 bananas (best when ripe)
2½ cups milk
1 cup peanut butter

UTENSIL

blender

PREPARATION

Flex your fingers. Peel the bananas. Put bananas, milk, and peanut butter in blender. Use “milkshake” setting. Blend until shake is sufficiently smooth for your taste.

This delicious milkshake is a diet buster. Drink with care.

TIDBITS

1) The smell of a banana is the same as the pheromones produced by enraged swarms of bees. Just smelling a banana makes them think they should savagely attack an intruder. So, don’t walk up to a hive of bees with a banana in your hands and expect to make friends.

2) And don’t, don’t throw your banana at the hive.

3) You can polish your shoes with a banana peel. If you do, change shoes before approaching the abode of the busy bees.

4) You can buy banana beer in East Africa. I haven’t heard anything about approaching a hive with a mug of banana beer in your hand.

5) And for goodness sake, why do you keep approaching a bee hive, anyway?

6) Indeed, Paris once fell to the Vikings in because of bees.

7) The Viking Army, under the command of Ragnar Lothbrok, attacked Paris in 845.

8) The ferocious Vikings assaulted the city walls time and time again by climbing up tall, thin ladders.

9) But the defending Franks simply pushed the scaling ladders away.

10) Eventually, the Vikings became tired of falling backwards onto hard ground. Indeed, this whole ordeal made them rather cranky.

11) And there’s nothing worse than a cranky Viking.

12) The Vikings started to fight among themselves.

13) Until Ragnar walked toward a bee hive while holding a mug of honey beer.

14) Sure, the bees viciously attacked him ferociously, but he got an idea.

15) The very next day, Ragnar “Puffy Face” Lothbrok’s army catapulted bee hives and kegs of honey beer over the city walls. The enraged bees attacked the Parisians so mercilessly that the city’s clambered over the city’s fortifications unopposed. Paris fell. The Vikings would run amok in Europe for another 200 years. There you go.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.