Bacon & Chocolate Party’s Platform
The country is in danger. The gravitational field has gone wonky. The price of bacon and chocolate has risen. Americans everywhere, at least three, cry out for the Bacon & Chocolate Party to save the day. The B&C has developed a nascent social consciousness. Like a phoenix, the nearly dormant Bacon & Chocolate Party will arise from the ashes of its bitter and disputed defeat in the elections of 2012. What does B&C stand for? As far as I can tell our platform is:
1: We promote and enjoy bacon.
2: We promote and enjoy chocolate.
3: We will save our bees.
4: We sick Ms. Elizabeth Warren on the banks while we much on bacon-wrapped shrimp and chocolate doughnuts.
5. We will find a way to make chocolate downloadable over the internet.
6. Frugality, frugality, frugality. Our campaign chest of $0.00 makes us forgo all tactics costing a penny or more.
7. Our first point, okay, seventh point, is to first do name harm, especially if we have bacon-wrapped shrimp or chocolate doughnuts to divert from the current issues.
Note: the fourth point assumes Ms. Warren will be a part of Bacon & Chocolate’s team when it sweeps to victory in November, 2016. Would someone who knows her please ask her to join our party? Thanks. We’re kinda shy.
Paul R. De Lancey – Presidential Candidate
Candace C. Bowen – Vice-Presidential Candidate
Jonna Pattillo – Political advisor
Visit our Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/BaconChocolateParty
As an e-book on Nook
or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com