cuisine

Powegian Garlic Bread Soup Recipe

Posted on March 16, 2013 by pauldelancey

American Soup

POWEGIAN GARLIC BREAD SOUP

INGREDIENTS

2 10″ garlic bread halves
3 garlic cloves
3 stalks green onion
1/4 cup olive oil
1 medium yellow onion
6 Roma tomatoes
1 green bell pepper
3 cups vegetable or chicken broth
1/2 cup sour cream
1 tablespoon Italian seasoning
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
3 eggs

SPECIALTY UTENSIL

Dutch oven

PREPARATION

Dice tomatoes and green bell pepper. Cut garlic bread into 1/2″ slices. Mince garlic, green onion, and yellow onion. Sauté bread, garlic, green onion, and yellow onion with olive oil in Dutch oven on medium-high heat for about 5 minutes or until onions begin to soften. Stir frequently.

Add broth, tomato, green, bell pepper, sour cream, Italian seasoning, and pepper. Cook on high heat until soup begins to boil. Stir frequently. Add eggs. Stir frequently until eggs are cooked to your desired level of doneness. Not a good time to contemplate the infinite.

Serve to happy hungry hordes.

TIDBITS

1) This recipe uses three eggs. In the stateroom scene from the movie Monkey Business the zany Harpo Marx constantly asks for two eggs.

2) Harpo Marx is not related to Karl Marx.

3) Karl Marx was not at all zany, preaching constantly for a worker-run state via violent revolution.

4) The comedic career of Karl Marx never got anywhere. Indeed, it is doubtful he even tried.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, recipes, Uncategorized | Tags: Amazon, America, American, bread, Dutch, eggs, garlic, Harpo Marx, hordes, Italian, Karl Marx, Marx, Monkey Business, movie, Nook, Poway, Powegian, revolution, Roma, soup, tomatoes, zany | Leave a comment

Hungarian Goulash Recipe

Posted on March 12, 2013 by pauldelancey

Hungarian Entree

GOULASH

INGREDIENTS

1 1/2 pounds pork tenderloin
3 red potatoes
1 1/2 medium onions
1 garlic clove
2 medium carrots
1 1/2 tablespoons vegetable oil
3 cups pork or beef broth
1/2 tablespoon paprika
1 teaspoon parsley
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1/4 teaspoon sea salt
1/4 teaspoon thyme
1 teaspoon flour
1/3 cup sour cream

SPECIALTY UTENSIL

Dutch oven

PREPARATION

Cut pork into 1″ cubes. Dice potatoes. Mince onion and garlic. Dice carrots. Put vegetable oil in Dutch oven. Add onion and garlic. Sauté onions and garlic at medium-high heat for about5 minutes or until onions are soft. Stir frequently. Add pork cubes. Sauté for about 20 minutes on medium heat or until pork cubes start to brown. Stir frequently.

Add potato, carrot, broth, paprika, parsley, pepper, salt, and thyme. Cook on low heat with lid on for about 2 1/2 hours or until pork and potato are tender.

Remove from heat. Add flour and sour cream. Stir and serve to lucky guests or family.

TIDBITS

1) I went to Hungary in 1972 with my parents and brother.

2) As was expected, Hungarian goulash was everywhere. I was in heaven.

3) The Soviet Army was there as well. That was not so heavenly. Indeed, there were signs on roads telling us not to take photos of there army bases.

4) Foreigners were not allowed to take Hungarian money, the forint, out of the country. So my family like many others bought a lot of Hungarian chocolate before we left.

5) The Soviet Army left a few decades later. Because of my visit? Who can say.

6) But the Hungarian love for goulash remains strong as ever. Life goes on. Rainbows continue to dot the Hungarian landscape.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, international, recipes | Tags: Amazon, broth, Dutch, entree, forint, goulash, Hungarian, Hungary, Nook, onion, oven, paprika, parsley, pepper, pork, rainbows, saute, sea salt, sour cream, Soviet, Soviet Army, tenderloin, thyme | Leave a comment

Potato Chervil Soup Recipe

Posted on March 8, 2013 by pauldelancey

French Soup

POTATO CHERVIL SOUP

INGREDIENTS

3 medium brown potatoes
1/2 onion
1 medium carrot
3 tablespoons butter
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 1/4 cups vegetable broth
3/4 cup milk
2 teaspoons chervil
1/2 teaspoon French four spice (Muntok white pepper, nutmeg, ginger, powdered cloves)
1/4 teaspoon parsley

PREPARATION

Peel potatoes. Dice potato, onion, and carrot. Put potato, onion, butter, and olive oil in large pot. Sauté potato and onion on medium heat for about 10 minutes or until potato and onion begin to soften. Stir frequently.

Add diced carrot, vegetable broth, milk, chervil, French four spice, and parsley to the pot. Cook for 20 minutes. Start at medium heat reducing to low when soup starts to boil. Stir occasionally.

TIDBITS

1) People use chervil a lot more during the Lenten season than other times as it symbolizes new life and rebirth.

2) People often give up foods for Lent.

3) I always give up lutefisk.

4) Successfully.

5) During all the non-Lenten times as well.

4) I looked up fun facts for chervil on the internet. I found chervil improves the taste of radishes growing next to it.

5) Fun fact, you bet.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes, Uncategorized | Tags: butter, chervil, cloves, cookbook, De Lancey, France, French, ginger, internet, Kindle, Lent, Lenten, lutefisk, Muntok, Nook, nutmeg, olive oil, pepper, potato, radishes, rebirth, recipe, recipes, soup | Leave a comment

Herb Substitutions

Posted on March 7, 2013 by pauldelancey

HERB SUBSTITUTIONS

There comes a moment in every chef’s life when he or she simply doesn’t have every herb needed for that devastatingly delicious recipe and guests are arriving in 10 minutes and my gosh, oh my gosh. Fret not, simply consult the below list of herb substitutions and restore serenity to your life.

Basil – Italian seasoning, marjoram, oregano, thyme
Chervil – parsley, tarragon
Chive – green onion, leek, onion
Cilantro – chervil, parsley
Italian seasoning – basil, marjoram, oregano, parsley, red pepper (ground), rosemary, sage, savory, thyme
Mint – basil, marjoram, rosemary
Marjoram – basil, Italian seasoning, oregano, savory, thyme
Mustard, powder – horseradish powder, wasabi powder (1/4 times as much), prepared mustard (3 times as much)
Oregano – basil, Italian seasoning, marjoram, thyme
Parsley – basil, chervil, cilantro, Italian seasoning
Poultry seasoning – marjoram, rosemary, savory
Rosemary – Italian seasoning, poultry seasoning, thyme, tarragon
Sage – marjoram, poultry seasoning, rosemary, savory,
Savory – Italian seasoning, marjoram, poultry seasoning, sage, thyme
Tarragon – chervil, fennel seed, aniseed
Thyme – basil, Italian seasoning, marjoram, oregano, savory

According to my Webster’s New World Dictionary, an herb is, “any seed plant whose stem withers away to the ground after each season’s growth, as distinguished from a tree or shrub whose woody stem lives from year to year.”

Hot stuff, you betcha.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, Uncategorized | Tags: aniseed, basil, chef, chervil, cookbook, De Lancey, dictionary, fennel, herb, herb substitution, herbs, hot stuff, Italian, leek, marjoram, mint, mustard, onion, oregano, parsley, recipes, rosemary, sage, savoy, serenity, tarragon, thyme, wasabi, Webster's | Leave a comment

Spice Substitutions

Posted on March 6, 2013 by pauldelancey

SPICE SUBSTITUTIONS

Not everyone has 100 bottles and bags of spices and herbs. Not everyone wants to drive five miles to a grocery store just to get one spice, particularly if the contents in your pan are about to burn. Dear harried chefs, this spice substitution list is dedicated to you.

Allspice – Cassia, cinnamon, ginger, mace, nutmeg, cloves (ground)
Aniseed – fennel seed, anise extract (only a few drops)
Annato powder – turmeric
Cardamom – cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg
Cassia – allspice, cinnamon
Chili powder – cumin, hot pepper sauce, oregano
Cinnamon – allspice (use 1/4 as much), cassia, mace, nutmeg
Cloves, ground – allspice, cinnamon, nutmeg
Cumin – chili powder
Fennel seed – aniseed
Ginger – allspice, chili powder, cardamom, mace, nutmeg
Mace – allspice, cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg
Mustard, powder – horseradish powder, wasabi powder (1/4 times as much), prepared mustard (3 times as much)
Nutmeg – allspice, cardamom, ginger, mace
Saffron – Only a dash for color of: annato powder, turmeric
Turmeric – annato powder, mustard powder

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, humor, international, recipes | Tags: allspice, aniseed, annato, cardamom, cassia, chefs, chili, cinnamon, cookbook, cumin, De Lancey, fennel, ginger, grocery, herbs, mace, mustard, nutmeg, recipes, saffron, spice, spice substitutions, substitutions, turmeric | Leave a comment

Corned Beef Soup Recipe

Posted on March 4, 2013 by pauldelancey

Irish Entree

CORNED BEEF SOUP

INGREDIENTS

1 4-to-5 pound ready-to-cook corned beef brisket
6 russet potatoes
3 large carrots
1 large white onion
1/2 head cabbage
water
more water

SPECIALTY UTENSIL

crock pot

PREPARATION

At the crock pot’s low setting, the brisket can take 10-to-14 hours to become tender. The high setting will cut this time by about half.

Put ready-to-cook corned beef brisket in crock pot. Add water to crock pot until it covers the brisket. You may need to cut the brisket into smaller pieces depending on the size of your crock pot. Cook for 10-to-14, possibly overnight, or until brisket is tender.

Clean potatoes and carrots. Cut potatoes carrots, onions, and cabbages in slices no thicker than 1/2″ inch and add them to the crock pot. and vegetables. Add as much water as your crock pot will allow. Cook on low setting for about 2 hours or until vegetables are tender.

If you do not have enough water to make soup, boil more water in a separate pot. Combine ingredients from crock pot with hot water from pot in soup bowl. Alternatively, put leftovers from corned-beef meal in large soup. Add water to achieve desired thickness. Cook on high heat until soup boils then turn off heat. Stir occasionally. If people have been asking for 14 hours, “Is it ready, yet?” you can now say yes. Resist the temptation to clock them. You are a gracious host.

TIDBITS

1) This recipe uses lots of water.

2) Water is good for you. Your body needs it to live. You can go maybe three days without drinking water.

3) Water is also used for showering. You can go indefinitely without showering.

4) I wouldn’t recommend it though. You’ll probably lose your job and all future invitations to neighborhood weenie roasts.

5) And who could live without a weenie roast, especially since the invention of veggie hot dogs?

6) Don’t forget the therapeutic value of showers. Shower spray pounding on one’s shoulders washes away one’s tension and anger.

7) If you don’t release your tension and anger, you’re much more likely to bump someone off.

8) Water. Good for your body. Good for your outlook. Good for your criminal record.

– Chef Paul

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World, and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: beef, beef brisket, cabbage, carrots, cookbook, corned beef, corned beef soup, criminal record, De Lancey, Kindle, Nook, recipe, recipes, russet potatoes, therapeutic, veggie hot dogs, water, weenie roasts | Leave a comment

Kugelis, Potato Pudding Recipe

Posted on March 2, 2013 by pauldelancey

Lithuanian Entree

KUGELIS
(Potato Pudding Recipe)

INGREDIENTS

5 pounds russet potatoes
12 ounces bacon
1 1/2 large white onions
1/4 cup butter
6 eggs
1/2 cup milk
1 12 ounce can evaporated milk
1 teaspoon sea salt
1/2 teaspoon white pepper
1/2 cup farina

SPECIAL UTENSILS

1 9″*13″ baking dish
or
2 8″*8″ baking dishes
or
127 1″*1″ baking dishes

Serves a lot of people. We’re talking about 7 pounds of rich food here.

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Peel potatoes. Grate or shred potatoes. (This is some debate about the authenticity of shredding potatoes for Kugelis. After noting how long it took to merely peel the potatoes, I fired up the trusty food processor and shredded away. Yep, I’m a rebel. Born to be Wild.)

Dice bacon. Shred onions. Put bacon, onions, and butter in frying pan. Cook on medium-high heat until bacon is done to your desired level of crispness and the onions soften. Stir frequently. Hold the pan at an angle away from you while stirring. You really want bacon splatter to head away from you.

Put eggs in large mixing bowl and beat the heck out of them. Add potato, bacon/onion sauté, milk, evaporated milk, salt, pepper, and farina. Mix thoroughly with spoon.

Bake in oven at 350 degrees for 1 hour 20 minutes or until golden brown on top. Remove baking dish from oven and let cool for 5 minutes before serving. Enjoy the national dish of Lithuania.

TIDBITS

1) Pepper is used in this recipe. It is a happening spice. Pepper was first widely used in India over two millennia ago. India is one of the world’s oldest civilizations One of every seven people in the world is Indian. India has lots of trains, great food, nuclear weapons, and customer-service reps. Okay, the last one is bad.

2) Pepper traded westward to ancient Egypt. Black peppercorns were found stuffed up the nose of the mummified body of Pharaoh Ramses II. Snorting, perhaps? Egypt was the dominant power in that region for hundreds of years. It’s chariots raced all over the countryside. Perhaps they wouldn’t have had to race all over if they had bothered to ask for directions, but you know men.

3) Some think Rome conquered great swaths of North Africa, Europe, and the Near East because the Romans were really cranky from constantly sneezing snorted pepper. The Roman Empire lasted so long because its subject were so down with the taste explosion pepper brought that they really didn’t mind constant taxation and civil wars.

4) Then around the 5th century AD, barbarians invaded and destroyed the Roman Empire for no good culinary reason. Lutefisk crazed Vikings pillaged everywhere. People stashed their pepper. The Vikings killed the stashers. Knowledge of pepper disappeared. The Dark Ages descended.

5) Around 13th century or so the Venetians started trade routes with India. Indian pepper once again flowed westward to Europe. Venice became the richest and mightiest city in Europe. Then they started making blinds and their economy tanked.

6) Portugal started the Great Age of Exploration. It sent fleets around Africa and to the Americas and sooner than you can say heteroskedasticity pepper graced the tables of people around the world.

7) Life’s been pretty good since then. Even the occasional global war was made tolerable by proper amounts of peppers in soldiers’ meals.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, international, recipes | Tags: Africa, America, bacon, chariots, cookbook, Dark Ages, De Lancey, Egypt, Europe, Great Age of Exploration, India, Kindle, kugelis, Lithuania, lutefisk, Near East, Nook, nuclear weapons, pepper, peppercons, Pharaoh Ramses, Portugal, potato, potato pudding, pudding, recipes, Roman empire, Rome, russet potatoes, snorting, Venetians, Venice, Vikings | Leave a comment

Irish Hamburgers Recipe

Posted on March 1, 2013 by pauldelancey

Irish Entree

IRISH HAMBURGERS

INGREDIENTS

1 4-to-5 pound ready-to-cook corned beef brisket
6 russet potatoes
3 large carrots
1 large white onion
1/2 head cabbage
water
6 hamburger buns

SPECIALTY UTENSIL

crock pot

PREPARATION

At the crock pot’s low setting, the brisket can take 10-to-14 hours to become tender. The high setting will cut this time by about half.

Clean potatoes and carrots. Cut potatoes carrots, onions, and cabbages in slices no thicker than 1/2″ inch and add them to the crock pot. and vegetables. Add water until it covers the brisket and vegetables. Cook on low setting for about 2 hours or until vegetables are tender.

So far, this has been a simplified, but still traditional meal of corned beef. But new culinary horizons beckon. Beef burgers beget beguilingly Irish burgers, beggorah.

Put a slice of corned beef from crock pot on bun. Top that with a slice of onion and cabbage also from the crock pot. Add a squiggle of mustard and complete with top bun. A Irish burger to be sure.

Use remaining ingredients in crock pot as a traditional corned beef meal or as in the next recipe, corned-beef soup.

TIDBITS

1) This recipe uses carrots. The world famous cartoon character Bugs Bunny loved carrots.

2) Bugs Bunny was named after one of his creators at Warner Bros. studio, Buggsy Hardaway.

3) Bugs Bunny was officially born on July 27, 1940 in a rabbit warren under Ebbets Field, home of the Dodgers, in Brooklyn. Although previous incarnations occurred in the late 1930s, his official cartoon debut occurred on that date in a cartoon feature called a “Wild Hare.”

4) Bugs went on to have a illustrious cartoon career starring in several beloved shorts and even a few movies. This patriotic bunny also squared off successfully against the nefarious German and Japanese leaders of World War II. Bugs even appeared in two-minute films designed to get Americans to buy war bonds.

5) It’s possible without Bugs Bunny’s buy-war bonds films America would not have had enough funds to prosecute the war against the Axis powers.

6) And indeed, America’s fighting men were grateful. Bugs Bunny was the official mascot of at least one air training school and two air squadrons.

7) Bugsy Siegel’s story is somewhat different. Born into the real world, Bugsy rose to prominence as a bootlegger and notorious co-founder of Murder, Inc. Switching to gambling, Bugsy founded the Flamingo Hotel in Las Vegas, Nevada. He was gunned down in 1947.

8) There you have it. One Bugsy has made the world laugh for decades and won a world war. The other Bugsy not so much.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, international, recipes | Tags: 160 Fun Recipes, air training school, Axis, beef brisket, bonds, Brooklyn, Buggys Hardaway, Bugs Bunny, Bugsy Siegel, buns, burgers, cabbage, carrots, cartoon feature, cookbook, De Lancey, Dodgers, Eat Me, Ebbets Field, entree, Flamingo Hotel, fun, German, hamburgers, Inc., Irish, Irish hamburgers, Japanese, Las Vegas, murder, Nevada, onion, recipe, recipes, russet potatoes, war bonds, Warner Bros., Warner Brothers, Wild Hare, World War II | Leave a comment

Chicken Provencale Recipe

Posted on February 28, 2013 by pauldelancey

French Entree

CHICKEN PROVENÇALE

INGREDIENTS

2 chicken breasts
2 teaspoons herbes de Provence
1/2 teaspoon mignonette pepper (Tellicherry black pepper, Muntok white pepper, coriander)
2 tablespoon olive oil
2 red bell peppers
1 green bell pepper
3 garlic cloves
1/2 cup white wine

SPECIALTY UTENSIL

kitchen mallet

Serves one wrestler in training for the Olympics, two people with regular appetites, and four guests who got into your private stash of Belgian truffles before even trying this lovingly prepared meal and are never getting invited again.

PREPARATION

Pound chicken breasts to a half-inch thickness. (Remembering the day’s swarm of rude drivers on your ride home helps immeasurably.) Cut chicken breasts into fourths. Coat chicken pieces with herbes de Provence and mignonette pepper. Cut bell peppers into strips about 1/2″ inch wide and 2″ long. Mince garlic cloves.

Put olive oil in frying pan. Add bell-pepper and garlic. Sauté on high heat for a minute or until olive oil boils. Stir frequently. Add white wine and chicken pieces.

Cover and reduce heat to low-medium for about 5 minutes or until chicken is cooked through. You can cut a piece in half. If the chicken is still pink inside, sauté everything a few minutes more. If both halves are all white, eat one half. It’s your kitchen.

TIDBITS

1) The Olympics first occurred in Ellis, Greece in 776 BC as a way to honor Zeus. Wrestling was perhaps the most popular event.

2) Contestants and trainers appeared nude partly to prevent women from surreptitiously participating.

3) The Olympics started to die out around 260 AD what with barbarians invading the Roman Empire and civil wars erupting every few weeks. In 391 Emperor Theodosius outlawed the games because they were pagan.

4) No summer Olympics, no chance for winter Olympics. No winter Olympics, no bobsledding. No bobsledding, no thriving winter tourist industry. No thriving winter tourist industry, no taxes for the government. No taxes, no money to fund an army for the Empire.

5) Indeed, quite soon after Theodosius’ decision, massive waves of barbarians assaulted the poorly defended Roman Empire, defeating it quite easily.

6) The death of the Roman Empire plunged Europe into the Dark Ages for about a thousand years. Way to go, Theodosius.

7) Today the Olympic Committee is considering dropping wrestling from the games claiming lack of interest.

8) Perhaps there would be more interest if we brought back nude wrestling.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, history, humor, international | Tags: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World, Belgian, bell peppers, black pepper, bobsledding, chicken, cookbook, corinader, Dark Ages, De Lancey, Eat Me, elis, fun, Greece, herbes, herbes de Provence, mignonette, Muntok, olive oil, Olympic Committee, Olympics, Provencale, Provence, recipe, recipes, Roman, Roman empire, summer Olympics, Tellicherry, Theodosius, tourist industry, truffles, white pepper, white wine, Winter Olympics, women, wrestling, Zeus | Leave a comment

St. Martin Hamburger Recipe

Posted on February 24, 2013 by pauldelancey

St. Martin Entree

ST. MARTIN HAMBURGER

INGREDIENTS

1 medium yellow onion
1/2 teaspoon bird pepper (St. Martin spice)
1 teaspoon nigelle (St. Martin spice)
1 1/2 pounds ground beef
6 hamburger buns

SPECIAL APPLIANCES

spice grinder
time machine

PREPARATION

Mince yellow onion. Use spice grinder to grind bird pepper. Use hands to combine onion, bird pepper, nigelle, and ground beef in large mixing bowl. Make 6 patties.

Your hands will be messy. Use time machine to go back to a moment when your hands were clean. Be sure to come back to the present moment. Those patties need to be fried and you don’t want to cause a time paradox, do you?

Cook patties in frying pan until meat browns. Flip patties over at least once to keep moisture from exiting the top. Toast hamburger buns. Put patties in buns. Enjoy.

TIDBITS

1) St. Martin is the French side of an island in the Caribbeain. St. Maarten is the Dutch side. Both countries valued the island for its vast salt deposits.

2) Packing meat and fish in salt was one of the few ways to preserve meat and fish way back when. Nations in those days often waged war over lands rich in salt.

3) Indeed, global wars raged constantly in the seventeenth, eighteenth, and nineteenth centuries. The number of such bloody conflicts plummeted in the twentieth century and in our very own, the twenty-first.

4) Why? The development of the refrigerator made it unnecessary for chefs worldwide to use salt to preserve their perishable beef and fish.

5) Well preserved food results in happy contented chefs. Happy chefs cook for happy eaters. Happy eaters comprise happy nations. Happy nations are agreeable nations. Agreeable nations don’t fight each other. No wars, no nuclear Armageddon.

6) So think about that when considering to send back that overcooked steak to the chef.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World, beef, bird pepper, buns, chefs, Dutch, fish, French, global wars, hamburger, moisture, nigelle, nuclear Armageddon, onion, recipe, salt, spice grinder, St. Maarten, St. Martin, steak, time machine, twentieth century | Leave a comment

cuisine

Powegian Garlic Bread Soup Recipe

Hungarian Goulash Recipe

GOULASH