Posts Tagged With: onion

Cemita, Mexican Sandwich

Mexican Entree

CEMITA
(Mexican Sandwich)

INGREDIENTSCemita-

2 garlic cloves
1 tablespoon minced onion
1 tablespoon butter.
1 teaspoon Mexican oregano
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup bread crumbs
2 eggs
1 pound round steak (sliced 1/4″ to 1/2″ thick)
at least 3 tablespoons olive oil.
2 tablespoons lemon juice

2 avocados
1 onion
12 ounces queso blanco or mozzarella
4 round rolls with sesame seeds
1/2 cup salsa

SPECIAL UTENSIL

kitchen mallet

PREPARATION

Mince garlic. Add garlic, onion, and butter to pan and sauté on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion is tender. Remove garlic and onion. Add garlic, onion, oregano, pepper, and salt to mixing bowl. Stir with whisk until well mixed. Whisk eggs in separate bowl.

Tenderize steaks with kitchen mallet if steaks not already tenderized. Bam! Bam! Coat both sides of steaks in garlic/onion/spice mix. Dip steaks into whisked eggs, then into breadcrumbs, coating both sides. Add olive oil to skillet. Sautée each steak on medium heat for 1.5-to-2 minutes for each side, until breading is crispy and golden brown. Add olive oil as necessary for each steak sautéed. Place steaks on paper towels to drain Sprinkle with lemon juice. Slice lemon and put a slice with each steak.

Peel and pit avocados. Cut avocados into thin slices. Thinly slice onion. Grate cheese. Toast rolls. Place steak Milanesa on bottom half of roll. Top steak Milanesa with 1/4th of the avocado slices, 1/4th of the onion slices, and 1/4th of the grated cheese. Evenly spoon 1/4th of the salsa on top of the cheese. Put the top half of roll on top of everything. Repeat for the other 3 sandwiches.

TIDBITS

1) “Cemita sandwich” is an anagram for “Ascetic ham wind.”

2) There is a town in Massachussets called Sandwich. Its police cars have “Sandwich Police” on their doors.

3) Jim Morrison was the lead singer for the band, “The Doors.”

4) The Parisians use baguettes for their sandwiches.

5) The bloody French Revolution was caused, in great part, by the high cost of bread.

6) “Bread” was another great rock band.

7) Rock beat scissors.

8) Ancient Egyptians did not have scissors. They played “Rock, Paper.” As paper beats rock, everyone picked paper. All their games ended in a tie.

9) Tie are a popular gift for Father’s Day.

10) Doris Day was a great actress and singer. She never took her clothes off in any of her movies.

11) Clothes get cleaned in a washer.

12) But often only one sock per pair survives the washing. Where does the missing sock go?

13) I think the socks go to an alternate universe.

14) Socks the Cat was President Bill Clinton’s pet.

15) I met someone who had the job of protecting Socks when President Clinton visited San Diego.

16) But no one protects the socks that go into our washing machines. Perhaps our washing machines have obtained consciousness and have learned to hate us, just like computer printers.

17) Printers should be called Marleys because they’re always jammin’.

18) I almost saw Bob Marley’s house when I visited Jamaica.

19) Jamaica’s jerk-chicken dish is wonderful.

20) Soda jerks were common in America before World War II when this great land had lots of stores with soda fountains. Now soda jerks and soda fountains are mostly gone. The Allies made the world safe for democracy, but not for going out for a soda.

21) I need a sandwich to regain my rosy outlook on life. Ahh.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Steak Milanesa

Mexican Entree

STEAK MILANESA

INGREDIENTSSteakMilanesa-

2 cloves garlic
1 tablespoon minced onion
1 tablespoon butter.
1 teaspoon oregano
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup bread crumbs
2 eggs
1 pound round steak (sliced 1/4″ to 1/2″ thick)
at least 3 tablespoons olive oil.
2 tablespoons lemon juice
1 lemon

SPECIAL UTENSIL

kitchen mallet (if steaks not already tenderized. Useful for door-to-door salesmen as well.)

PREPARATION

Mince garlic. Add garlic, onion, and butter to pan and sauté on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion is tender. Remove garlic and onion. Add garlic, onion, oregano, pepper, and salt to mixing bowl. Stir with whisk until well mixed. Whisk eggs in separate bowl.

Tenderize steaks with kitchen mallet, if steaks are not already tenderized. Coat both sides of steaks in garlic/onion/spice mix. Dip steaks into whisked eggs, then into breadcrumbs, coating both sides. Add olive oil to skillet. Sautée each steak on medium heat for 1.5-to-2 minutes on each side, until breading is crispy and golden brown. Add olive oil as necessary for each steak sautéed. Place steaks on paper towels to drain Sprinkle with lemon juice. Slice lemon and put a slice with each steak. Goes well with rice.

TIDBITS

1) People have been grilling meat since the discovery of fire, about 500,000 years ago. This means cavemen could have been having lots and lots of barbecues. Anthropologists have been strangely mute on this, maybe due to the absence of prehistoric spatulas.

2) Grilling first became truly popular in the 1950s with the invention of the mass-produced barbecue cookbooks, spatulas, and barbecue sauces. We truly live in the best time ever.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Peanut-Butter Ham

American Entree

PEANUT-BUTTER HAM

INGREDIENTSPeanutButterHam-

2 cloves garlic
1 small onion
1/4 cup honey
1 cup smooth peanut butter
2 tablespoons brown sugar
3/4 teaspoon ground mustard
3/4 teaspoon orange zest
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1 tablespoon soy sauce
4 1″-thick ham slices (about 1 1/2 pounds)

SPECIAL UTENSIL

2 9″x9″ casserole dishes

PREPARATION

Mince garlic and onion. Add garlic, onion, honey, peanut butter, brown sugar, mustard, orange zest, pepper, and soy sauce to blender. Blend using liquefy or puree setting. Cut each ham slice into 4 pieces. Add peanut butter/honey mixture and ham pieces to casserole dishes. Thoroughly coat ham pieces in peanut butter/honey mixture. Marinate in refrigerator for 4 hours.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Put casserole dish in oven. Bake at 350 for 30-to-40 minutes or until ham is hot all the way through.

TIDBITS

1) Chef Paul gives Jones Soda his coveted “Best Tasting Ham-Flavored Soda Award” for its 2007 Christmas edition of ham-flavored soda. While not needed to win the award, the soda company went the extra mile and made this beverage kosher and caffeine free. Well done.

2) Indeed, 2007 Jones Soda displayed great culinary creativity. Its attention-grabbing Christmas pack included Sugar Plum, Christmas Tree, Egg Nog and Christmas Ham flavors. Its Hanukkah selection gave us Jelly Doughnut, Apple Sauce, Chocolate Coins and Latkes sodas.

3) In 2006, Jones Soda rolled out: Dinner Roll, Green Pea, Sweet Potato, Turkey and Gravy, and Antacid sodas for the holiday season. Clearly, this company can’t be ignored by soda connoisseurs.

4) “I have not yet begun to fight.” – John Paul Jones, September 23, 1779, naval battle of Flamborough Head. It is doubtful that the illustrious commander drank sodas during the battle.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Bosna (Austrian Sandwich)

Austrian Entree

BOSNA

INGREDIENTSBosna-

12 bratwursts
6 wide rolls
½ yellow onion
1 tablespoon curry
3 tablespoons Dijon mustard
3 tablespoons ketchup

PREPARATION

Grill bratwursts at low heat for about 5-to-10 minutes or until they start to brown. Turn once. Toast rolls in toaster or panini grill. Slice onion into rings. Place onion rings and sprinkle curry evenly over bottom halves of rolls. Spread mustard and ketchup evenly on top halves of rolls. Assemble roll bottom, 2 bratwursts, and roll top for each sandwich.

TIDBITS

1) For those people who always complain that family vacations are boring, that trips to the Grand Canyon are so old school, may I suggest an exciting tour based on the ingredients of this recipe?

The National Mustard Museum in Middleton, Wisconsin. Come visit the alluring world of mustard.

For the world’s best Dijon mustard, go to Dijon, France and take in the Amora Mustard Museum.

1st German Bratwurst Museum in Holzhausen, Germany. Bratwursts were first mentioned in 1404 and in 1432 became one of the first foods to be regulated. Save your money and fly there.

Vidalia Onion Museum in Vidalia, Georgia, where you can you learn the story of this illustrious sweet onion. “Please do not pick the onions.”

Currywurst Museum in Berlin, Germany. Germans love their currywurst. Indeed, Germany is a great place to do a food-museum trek.

National Bread Museum in Seia, Portugal, where you not only get to see the wonders of bread history, but you get to eat bread made at the museum’s fine restaurant. The museum even has a room dedicated to entertaining children. Does this mean food fights for the kids? They didn’t say.

See these museums without delay. The Yokohama Curry Museum closed its doors in 2007. Do you want to go through life regretting not seeing The National Mustard Museum or the National Bread Museum? I think not.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Dijon Mustard

French Appetizer

DIJON MUSTARD

INGREDIENTSDijonMustard-

1/2 medium yellow onion
2 cloves garlic
1 cup dry white wine
1/2 cup mustard, dry
1 1/2 tablespoons honey
1/2 tablespoon vegetable oil
1/2 teaspoon salt

SPECIAL UTENSILS

colander
airtight jar

PREPARATION

Mince the onion and garlic. Put wine, onion, garlic in pot. Cook at high heat until wine boils. Stir frequently. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 5 minutes. Stir occasionally. Pour mixture through colander into mixing bowl. Let liquid cool.

Add mustard to mixing bowl. Stir with whisk until mixture is smooth. Add wine/garlic/mustard, honey, vegetable, and salt to pot Simmer for about 10 minutes or until liquid thickens. (Don’t look down too long at pot. The vapor will make your eyes sting.) Let cool. Pour into airtight jar. Keep refrigerated. The Dijon mustard will get slightly milder over the next 5 days.

TIDBITS

1) Ancient doctors used mustard to cure toothaches, epilepsy, and PMS, increase blood circulation, clear sinuses, and stimulate appetite. It had indifferent success in curing death as shown by the mustard found in King Tut’s tomb. Listen to the comedian Steve Martin & the Toot Uncommons sing the praises of King Tut.

2) Many cultures scatter mustard seeds around the home to repel evil spirits. Bear traps are a good way to tackle bad spirits taking on animal form. Leaving lutefisk outside your door wards off all spirits ethereal or corporal, including mimes selling aluminum siding door to door.

3) Indeed, people in medieval Paris could buy mustard by the wheelbarrow. This facts suggests lots of door-to-door mimes ran around back then. On the other hand, there is scant evidence of 13th-century Parisian homes, stone, wood, or otherwise, being adorned with aluminum siding.

4) Canada is the largest producer of mustard. There aren’t many evil spirits in Canada. See?

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Korean Hamburger

Korean Entree

KOREAN HAMBURGER

INGREDIENTSKoreanBurger-

1/2 yellow onion
3 cloves garlic
1 1/2 pounds ground beef.
2 tablespoons gochuchang (hot Korean paste)
1/2 tablespoons gochucharu (or red pepper flakes)
1 teaspoon soy sauce
1 large tomato
5 leaves Chinese cabbage or Napa cabbage
5 ounces hot pepper-jack cheese
5 hamburger buns

PREPARATION

Mince yellow onion and garlic. Add onion, garlic, ground beef, gochuchang, gochucharu, and soy sauce to mixing bowl. Combine with hands. (Be sure to wash your hands thoroughly after doing this. The spices now on your hands will raise four-alarm fires if they come in contact with your face.) Cut tomato into 5 slices.

Make 5 patties from the meat mixture. Fry patties in pan at medium heat for about 5 minutes on each side or until sides begin to brown or juices from the patties run clear. Add a 1-ounce slice of pepper-jack cheese to each patties are fry for 1 minute more or until cheese starts to melt. Assemble the burgers with: buns, patty, tomato slice, and cabbage leaf.

TIDBITS

1) Kim Jong Un, the current leader of the communist monarchy that is North Korea is said by the country’s media to be “born of heaven.”

2) As proof of his divinity, or at least greatness, the country’s government point to the lair of a North Korean unicorn. Mind you this was not the home of your run-of-the mill unicorn. Oh no, this was the abode of the unicorn ridden by Tongmyong, the mythical founder of Korea. This discovery occurred in December, 2012. This site is the only existing unicorn site. It is feared that all other such sites failed to open when they realized how outclassed they were by North Korea’s.

3) Kim Jong Un’s dad, Kim Jong II, also ruled North Korea. He too was heaven sent. We can believe it as he bowled a perfect 300 in his first game and shot five holes-in-one on his first time golfing. When he died, North Korea’s sacred mountain, Paektu, glowed red, which is way cool.

4) The most popular restaurant in Pyongyang, the country’s capital, is the New Diplo with two reviews on TripAdvisorTM.. Unfortunately, it is only available to diplomats. Career change, anyone?

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Vegetable Mafe From Senegal

Senegalese Entree

VEGETABLE MAFE

INGREDIENTSVegetableMafe-

1 small cooking pumpkin (1 cup)
1 medium onion
1 large tomato
1 turnip
2 brown potatoes
2 large carrots
1/4 head cabbage
1 cup fresh spinach
1/4 cup peanut oil
2 cups tomato sauce
1/2 cup water
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/2 cup smooth peanut butter

Makes 9 bowls. Takes 2 hours 30 minutes.

PREPARATION

Cut pumpkin shell into large pieces. Remove seeds and those gooey strings that go along with the seeds. Cut off edible pumpkin part from outer skin. Cut edible part of pumpkin into cubes no bigger than 1/2″. Mince onions. Dice tomatoes, turnips, potatoes, carrots, cabbage, and spinach.

Add onion and peanut oil to pot. Sauté onion at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Add pumpkin, tomato, turnip, potato, carrot, cabbage, and spinach to pot one at time, sautéing for 1 minute on medium-high heat as each new veggie is added. Stir frequently.

Add tomato sauce, water, black pepper, and cayenne pepper to pot. Simmer on low heat for 1 hour 15 minutes or until veggies are tender. Add peanut butter to pot. Simmer for 10 minutes on warm-to-low heat. Stir occasionally. Goes well with rice.

TIDBITS

1) Pumpkins are a fruit. Who knew? They have been grown for 7,000 years. The first were grown in Central America. I grew a pumpkin when I was a kid, way too late to be the first grower.

3) Linus, of the comic strip “Peanuts,” believed in the Great Pumpkin. The Great Pumpkin would arise out of the sincerest pumpkin batch in the land and distribute gifts to all good children. Clink on the following link to hear Linus explain the Great Pumpkin.

4) You can make a lot of other dishes out of pumpkins, such as pie, cupcakes, bread, scones, French toast, ice cream, waffles, soup, curry, cheesecake, pasta sauce, chowder, muffins, cannelloni, stuffed shells, roasted pumpkin seeds, casserole, cookies, and stuffed pasta shells.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Simple Tacos

Mexican Entree

SIMPLE TACOS

 INGREDIENTSsimptac-

1 pound ground beef
1 medium onion
2 teaspoons cumin
1 1/2 teaspoons Meat MagicTM spice
1 1/2 cup grated Four Mexican cheeses
6 taco shells
1 1/2 cups lettuce
1 1/2 cups salsa

PREPARATION

Mince the onion in a food processor. (My cooking life took a quantum leap when I acquired this gizmo. Get one.) Add onion, cumin and meat spice to ground meat. Mix by hand.

Cook mixture in saucepan until all of the meat is no longer pink. Shred lettuce by hand or chop into middlin’ sized pieces with a knife. Gosh, fill the taco shell with meat, lettuce, cheese, and salsa. Better yet, get a 20-inch across Lazy Susan and let your diners make their own tacos according to their tastes.

Lazy Susans are fantastic. They are round, rotating platforms, usually made of wood. Put a bowl on the Lazy Susan for each of the beef, cheese, taco shells, lettuce, and salsa. With this handy device the need to constantly pass bowls back and forth disappears. (Just try to find a Lazy Susan. Anywhere. I weep for America.)

TIDBITS

1) Tacos have always been my favorite food. I asked for tacos for all of my childhood birthday dinners.

2) My grandmother was born in Mexico. She made tortillas by hand.

3) “Tacos” is an anagram for “coast”, “coats”, “o scat”, and “o cats!”

4) Cumin goes with so many Mexican dishes.

5) Supposedly long ago, a wealthy Mexican family had a maid named Susan. She didn’t enjoy constantly moving bowls back and forth. So she invented the device that bears her name. For this, someone called the tool the “Lazy Susan.” Seems to me, it should have been named the Entrepreneurial Susan.

6) When I was growing up, my family had a superb Lazy Susan made of hardwood. It’s gone, gone. Where did it go? It’s hard to get a good Lazy Susan these days. Why? Why?

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Omani Mezroota

Omani Entree

MEZROOTA

INGREDIENTSMezroota-

1 medium onion
2 tablespoons salt
2 5 ounce cans white tuna
2 tablespoons butter
1/4 cup lemon juice (or lime juice)
1/2 teaspoon cayenne
1 tablespoon cumin
1 teaspoon oregano
1 gram saffron (let me know if you can afford a lot of saffron and I’ll come over and cook for you. Saffron’s expensive.)
1/2 cup rice
1 cup water

PREPARATION

Peel and thinly slice onion. Put onion and salt in mixing bowl. Mix with spoon. Place bowl in direct sunlight for 1-to-2 hours.

30 minutes prior to retrieving the bowl of onion slices, starting cooking rice according to instructions on bag. Bring in bowl and wash onions. Drain bowl. Repeat two more times. Melt butter. Drain tuna and separate the pieces. Add tuna, butter, lemon juice, cayenne, cumin, oregano, and saffron. Serve tuna/onion/lemon mixture over hot rice.

This dish has a strong flavor and is an acquired taste. Make it for yourself first before serving it to your boss when you’re due for a raise.

TIDBITS

1) Oman is home to around twenty percent of the world’s recent meteorite finds.

2) Many scientists believe a giant meteorite caused the demise of the dinosaurs. Some believe a severe global warming killed them. It’s quite possible the dinosaurs weren’t physically able to adapt.

3) So far as I know, none of the dinosaurs had opposable thumbs and even if they did, they possessed sharp claws and talons. All surfers know you can’t apply even the lowest SPF sun-block lotions with claws. You can’t hold a tube of sun screen without opposable thumbs. I mean, have you ever seen a dinosaur surf? Enough said. No sun screen, no protection from the relentless Cretacean sun. The dinosaurs died. Bummer.

“All over Laurasia, and the blue Tethys Sea, every dino’s gone surfing, surfing Gondwanaland.”

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Pico de Gallo

Mexican Appetizer

PICO DE GALLO

INGREDIENTSPicoDeGallo-

4 Roma tomatoes
1 medium white onion
1 jalapeno pepper (1/2 or even 1/4 if you like it milder)
1 tablespoon fresh cilantro
4 teaspoons lime juice
1/2 teaspoon salt

PREPARATION

Dice tomatoes, onion, and cilantro. De-seed and dice jalapeno. (Wash hands afterward. If you touch your face before washing, it will burn.) Put tomato, onion, jalapeno, cilantro, lime juice, and salt in bowl. Mix with spoon.

TIDBITS

1) You really should listen to the song “Pico de Gallo” by Trout Fishing in America. The link to the song is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2kL5f0np7EU. Visit Trout Fishing in America’s website at: http://www.troutmusic.com/.

2) Pico de gallo goes well with tortilla chips.

3) Guatemala has suffered through many years of civil wars. Peasants would often take to the hills to avoid the guerrillas and the government forces. The villagers’ main source of sustenance was the humble tortilla. However, old tortillas dry out and become hard to eat. So the peasants would fry their tortillas in oil to make tortilla chips which lasted longer.

4) Humanity began its ascent in the Americas with the development of the first tortillas in 10,000 B.C.. Beer provided the upward impetus across the Atlantic Ocean. Civilizations such as the Aztecs and the Mayans flourished because of the tortillas and indeed they developed advanced art, architecture, math, astronomy, and pico de gallo. America has the world’s largest economy because of its great tortilla chip and beer industries.

5) The Spanish royalty dispatched Christopher Columbus in 1492 to find these fabled tortilla lands. In 1519 Hernando Cortez conquered the Aztecs on Central Mexico securing a Spanish tortilla monopoly. Mexican tortillas would provide the sustenance for the many and mighty armies that held together the vast and numerous of the Spanish empire..

6) In 1993 China began producing flour tortillas. China will soon have the world’s largest economy.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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