Posts Tagged With: monarchy

Drunken Cheeseburgers

American Entree

DRUNKEN CHEESEBURGERS

INGREDIENTS

4 garlic cloves
1 pound ground beef (80%) or ground chuck
2 cups Cabernet Sauvignon, Marsala, or red wine
1 red onion or sweet onion
2 tablespoons olive oil
4 sesame hamburger buns
⅔ cup grated cheddar cheese
¼ cup fresh basil leaves

Serves 4. Takes 1 hour.

PREPARATION

Dice garlic cloves. Add garlic and ground beef to large mixing bowl. Mix by hand. Form 4 patties by hand. Pour wine over patties. Cover and marinate in refrigerate for 2 hours. While patties marinate, thinly slice onion. Add onion and olive oil to pan. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until softens. Remove onion slices from pan and place on plate covered with paper towel. Keep olive oil in pan.

Add patties to large pan. Cover and fry patties at medium heat for 5 minutes. Flip patties, cover, and fry for 3 minutes or until patties are cooked nearly to your desired level of doneness. Sprinkle cheese over each patty and fry for another 2 minutes or until cheese melts. While patties fry, toast buns. Place patty on bottom hamburger bun. Add patty. Carefully ladle 1½ tablespoons marinade onto patty. Top with 1 tablespoon basil leaves. Add top hamburger bun.

TIDBITS

1) Brynne Chandler was born a peasant girl in Nevers, France on November 2, 1755. the same day as Marie Antoinette . Because of their great beauty, Brynne and Marie became European fashion models. Then Marie up and became queen of France. Bereft of her modeling companion, Brynne naturally pursued quantum physics. Brynne did well in her new career. She even discovered how to run faster than the speed of light. Indeed, she holds the world record for the mile, .0000056 seconds.

2) Things went differently for Marie Antoinette. Her lavish spending bankrupted the French monarchy. The impoverish monarchy fell. Marie found herself at a guillotine on October 16, 1793. Brynne protested. “No, no, no.” Our heroine rushed the guillotine intending the save the queen. Unfortunately, she ran at the speed of light. It was at this point that our plucky soul discovered that time halted for her while staying same for the French revolutionaries. When Brynne stopped running, she found herself in the year 2017. “Well, that won’t happen again,” said Brynne.. So she took up cooking with wine. All drunken dishes, including drunken chicken and drunken cheeseburgers are inspired by her trail blazing culinary spirit. Brynne says she’s no longer even tempted to run as fast of the speed of light. Olympic runners, aspiring to set records, are grateful.

Chef Paul

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Baked Vidalia Onion

American Entree

BAKED VIDALIA ONION

INGREDIENTSBakedVidaliaOnion-

1 Vidalia onion
1 tablespoon butter
1 beef bouillon cube
½ teaspoon sherry

Makes 1 onion. Takes 1 hour 10 minutes. If you wish to serve everyone in the world, multiply ingredients by 7,000,000,000. You will need a big oven and most likely will want some help.

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Slice off a thin disk from the top of the onion. Peel the onion. Do not remove the root. Use potato peeler to make a cone-shaped hole in the middle of the onion. The hole should be about 1″ wide at the top and taper to a point at the bottom. The hole should stop 1″ from the bottom of the onion. Cut onion into thirds down the sides, stopping ½” from the bottom. Goodness.

Place a pat or slivers of butter equal to 1 teaspoon into each of the three cuts on the sides of the onion. Add bouillon cube and sherry in the onion’s cone-shaped hole. Wrap tightly in foil. Bake at 350 degrees for 1 hour or until onion is tender. Place tray underneath to catch drippings. Open foil slowly to let hot steam escape. Serve in a bowl as there will be broth.

TIDBITS

1) N.B. Ull was just one of thousands of wildcat oil men looking for oil in Hawaii in the 1880s. Why were oil men looking for oil in Hawaii? The weather, of course, it’s great there. And the sunsets and those drinks with the pink umbrellas and the hula dancers swaying back and forth and . . . Anyway, the oil men drilled and drilled and eventually gave up to go back to the beaches to watch the sunsets and swaying native dancers and . . . Anyway, Mr. Ull persevered month after month and Pow! A black, plume spurted into the sky. Only it wasn’t oil. It was something culinary..

2) Anagrammists rushed to the spot and rearranged N.B. Ull and Oil to form the anagram Bouillon. Unfortunately, whenever anagrammists gather in great numbers they get agitated, especially when there are no drinks with pink umbrellas in them because failed oil men have drunk them all. In this case, the excited wordsters fomented revolution against the Hawaiian Monarchy. Businessmen, fearing anarchy, successfully petitioned the U.S. to annex these idyllic islands. Something to think about whenever you enjoy bouillon or rearrange a word’s letters.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, history, humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Korean Hamburger

Korean Entree

KOREAN HAMBURGER

INGREDIENTSKoreanBurger-

1/2 yellow onion
3 cloves garlic
1 1/2 pounds ground beef.
2 tablespoons gochuchang (hot Korean paste)
1/2 tablespoons gochucharu (or red pepper flakes)
1 teaspoon soy sauce
1 large tomato
5 leaves Chinese cabbage or Napa cabbage
5 ounces hot pepper-jack cheese
5 hamburger buns

PREPARATION

Mince yellow onion and garlic. Add onion, garlic, ground beef, gochuchang, gochucharu, and soy sauce to mixing bowl. Combine with hands. (Be sure to wash your hands thoroughly after doing this. The spices now on your hands will raise four-alarm fires if they come in contact with your face.) Cut tomato into 5 slices.

Make 5 patties from the meat mixture. Fry patties in pan at medium heat for about 5 minutes on each side or until sides begin to brown or juices from the patties run clear. Add a 1-ounce slice of pepper-jack cheese to each patties are fry for 1 minute more or until cheese starts to melt. Assemble the burgers with: buns, patty, tomato slice, and cabbage leaf.

TIDBITS

1) Kim Jong Un, the current leader of the communist monarchy that is North Korea is said by the country’s media to be “born of heaven.”

2) As proof of his divinity, or at least greatness, the country’s government point to the lair of a North Korean unicorn. Mind you this was not the home of your run-of-the mill unicorn. Oh no, this was the abode of the unicorn ridden by Tongmyong, the mythical founder of Korea. This discovery occurred in December, 2012. This site is the only existing unicorn site. It is feared that all other such sites failed to open when they realized how outclassed they were by North Korea’s.

3) Kim Jong Un’s dad, Kim Jong II, also ruled North Korea. He too was heaven sent. We can believe it as he bowled a perfect 300 in his first game and shot five holes-in-one on his first time golfing. When he died, North Korea’s sacred mountain, Paektu, glowed red, which is way cool.

4) The most popular restaurant in Pyongyang, the country’s capital, is the New Diplo with two reviews on TripAdvisorTM.. Unfortunately, it is only available to diplomats. Career change, anyone?

– Chef Paul

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World, is available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.comcover

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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