Posts Tagged With: Korean

Bulgogi (Barbecued Beef)

Korean Entree

BULGOGI
(Barbecued Beef)

INGREDIENTS – MARINADE

4 garlic cloves
1 green onion
1 nashi pear or bosc pear
1⅓ pounds sirloin, beef tenderloin, or rib eye
1½ tablespoons brown sugar
1 teaspoon ginger
¼ teaspoon pepper
1½ tablespoons rice wine or sake
¼ cup soy sauce

INGREDIENTS – REST

½ leek
1 medium yellow onion
1 teaspoon sesame seeds

SPECIAL UTENSILS

mandoline (useful, but not essential)
wok (or large pan)

Serves 4. Takes 2 hours 40 minutes..

PREPARATION – MARINADE

Mince garlic cloves. Dice green onion. Peel, core, and grate or dice pear. Slice sirloin into strips ⅛” thick. Then cut strips into 3″-by-1″ rectangles. Add all marinade ingredients to mixing bowl. Toss ingredients until sirloin rectangles are well coated. Cover and marinate in refrigerator for 2 hours.

PREPARATION – REST

While sirloin rectangles, marinate, dice onion. Use mandoline or knife to slice leek and onion into strips ⅛” thick. Add sesame seeds to pan. Toast sesame seeds at medium heat for 5 minutes or until they start to brown. Stir occasionally. Reserve sesame seeds.

Add sirloin with its marinade, leek, and onion to wok. Heat at high heat for 4 minutes or until sirloin browns and is cooked to your liking. Stir occasionally. Garnish with toasted sesame seeds.

TIDBITS

1) Bulgogi is made with sesame seeds.

2) Sesame seeds look like bugs.

3) Bugs move. All the time. Don’t even think of asking them to pose for a portrait.

4) So when scientists want to examine a particular, fixed pattern of bugs, they use sesame seeds in place of the bugs.

5) Or “in lieu of” of the bugs. “In lieu of” sounds fancier than “in place of,” don’t ya think?

6) Anyway, these bug patterns can consist of up to two-million sesame seeds. These large patterns can take sixty sesame-placers a whole year to construct.

7) So, when someone sneezes on the intricate sesame-seed pattern, the bug scientists (entomologists, another cool word) get rather irate.

8) On May 4, 1937, the famed aviator, Amelia Earhart, visited the prestigious American Institute of Sesame Seed Patterns (AISSP) to raise funds for her round-the-world-by-air adventure.

9) Ms. Earhadt wowed the men of the institute. Massive funding from AISSP was promised.

10) Then Amelia sneezed. A gale-force sneeze. 1,223,768 carefully seeds scattered all over the room.

11) Just two more sesames seeds had been needed to form the needed sesame pattern. At which point, photographs would have been taken.

12) Analysis of these photographs would have enabled entomologists to eradicate grasshopper plagues. Massive swarms of these insects had wiped out North Dakotan agriculture in 1935 and that of Montana a year later.

13) Ms. Earhart became deeply unpopular. Indeed, torch-carrying sesame-entomologists chased her to her plane. She quickly started her Model 10-E Electra and decided to start her round-the-world flight. If she had more time, she could have gotten a plane with more sophisticated communications and a longer range.

14) Alas, she, her navigator, Fred Noonan, and her plane disappeared on July 2, 1937.

15) Ten years later, Amos Keeto, photographer from the Paducah Post, realized that he taken a quick picture of Amelia at the AISSP. He was sure that the picture’s background would show the nearly completed sesame pattern. Unfortunately, he’d given the picture to the famed aviator as a keepsake just before she left on her fatal journey.

16) If only that picture could be retrieved, we could figure out how to stop all insect-caused crop failures forever. This is why we keep searching for Amelia Earhart and her plane.

Chef Paul

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Pom Casserole

Suriname Entree

POM CASSEROLE

INGREDIENTSPom-

2 pounds chicken breasts
2 pounds taro or pomtayer*
2 celery stalks
1 large onion
4 tomatoes
1 tablespoon brown sugar
½ cup orange juice
1¾ tablespoons parsley
2 tablespoons olive oil (2 more tablespoons later)
1 teaspoon allspice
2 tablespoons olive oil
¼ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon salt
2 cups chicken broth
no-stick spray

* = Pomtayer is so, so hard to find in many parts of American. Give yourself the Culinary Explorer’s Badge if you find pomtayer. So far, the awarding of this badge is on the honor system.

SPECIAL UTENSIL

9″ x 13″ casserole dish

Makes 12 bowls. Takes 1.5-to-2 hours to prepare.

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Cut chicken into ½” cubes. Peel taro. Grate or shred taro. Dice celery, onion, and tomatoes.

Add taro, brown sugar, orange juice, and parsley to large mixing bowl. Mix by hand until taro is well coated. Add 2 tablespoons olive oil, allspice, celery, onion, and tomatoes cubes to first pan. Sauté on medium high-heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Reserve 3 tablespoons juice from first pan.

Add 2 tablespoons olive oil, chicken cubes, pepper, and salt to second pan. Sauté on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until chicken cubes turn golden brown. Stir occasionally. Add chicken broth and reduce heat to low. Simmer for 15 minutes. Stir occasionally.

Remove chicken from second pan and pour remaining broth into mixing bowl with taro mix. Blend with fork. Spray casserole dish with no-stick spray. Put half of taro/chicken broth from mixing bowl to casserole dish and spread evenly. Spread celery/onion/tomato mix from first pan on top. Spread chicken cubes evenly on top. Cover with remaining half of taro/chicken broth. Spread evenly. Drizzle top layer with reserved 3 tablespoons of juice from first pan. Bake at 375 degrees for 45 minutes to 1 hour-15 minutes or until top is golden brown and set.

TIDBITS

1) Because of the font I’m using, Pom, the name of this entree, looks a lot like Porn. Probably more people have indulged in Porn than Pom.

2) Britain found that 50% of women love chocolate more than sex. Clearly, my there is a need for my advice on culinary romance. In the interest of full disclosure, I have a Ph.D. in economics and you know how many of us there are in the world. Here they are, my greatest culinary sex tips. Some of them might even be true.

3) Chocolates make women feel slightly more romantic. So you see, chocolate is a really good gift.

4) Pecans help a man’s sex life. Pecans have a lot of zinc. Zinc helps men produce more testosterone.

5) Just clink glasses together when toasting in France. Clink one glass at a time. Don’t cross any person’s arm while clinking. Follow all these rules or be cursed with seven years of bad sex.

6) The Romans used anchovy entrails to make an aphrodisiac. The process itself of gutting the anchovy, however, is far from being a turn-on.

7) Ancient Romans, and there were a lot of them, held celery to be a powerful aphrodisiac. Modern scientists say celery contains androsterone. This pheromone, released by men’s sweat glands, attracts females.

8) The Karma Sutra says ginger is a potent aphrodisiac The FDA says ginger is generally recognized as safe. There you go.

9) Cabbage is hot, hot, hot. Recent English research has cabbage being the best natural aphrodisiac. Many other dishes are also aphrodisiacs. These include: grilled oyster, grilled asparagus, grilled bananas, honey-grilled shrimp, grilled Parmesan potatoes, and grilled carrots One can only imagine if you serve your sweetheart all of the above at once.

10) Chicago’s Smell and Taste Research Foundation holds that lavender and pumpkin pie produce the most sexually exciting smells for men. Having a man over for lavender chicken and a pumpkin pie for dessert really loads the odds in your favor. Unless, of course, your man has a migraine. But it’s okay even then, for the German nun Hildegard of Bingen (1098-1179) believed drinks mixed with lavender cured migraines. You’re still in action.

11) Korean red ginseng is supposed to increase arousal in menopausal women. A daily dosage of three grams a day is the correct amount. It’s not clear if red ginseng from another country is okay. Or what about Korean orange ginseng? Is it the real sexual McCoy? Does it only give those women a slightly amorous feeling, like one chocolate doughnut? Do you need to get a kitchen scale in order the get exactly the prescribed three ounce of Korean red ginseng? Clearly, future research is needed.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, history, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Korean Hamburger

Korean Entree

KOREAN HAMBURGER

INGREDIENTSKoreanBurger-

1/2 yellow onion
3 cloves garlic
1 1/2 pounds ground beef.
2 tablespoons gochuchang (hot Korean paste)
1/2 tablespoons gochucharu (or red pepper flakes)
1 teaspoon soy sauce
1 large tomato
5 leaves Chinese cabbage or Napa cabbage
5 ounces hot pepper-jack cheese
5 hamburger buns

PREPARATION

Mince yellow onion and garlic. Add onion, garlic, ground beef, gochuchang, gochucharu, and soy sauce to mixing bowl. Combine with hands. (Be sure to wash your hands thoroughly after doing this. The spices now on your hands will raise four-alarm fires if they come in contact with your face.) Cut tomato into 5 slices.

Make 5 patties from the meat mixture. Fry patties in pan at medium heat for about 5 minutes on each side or until sides begin to brown or juices from the patties run clear. Add a 1-ounce slice of pepper-jack cheese to each patties are fry for 1 minute more or until cheese starts to melt. Assemble the burgers with: buns, patty, tomato slice, and cabbage leaf.

TIDBITS

1) Kim Jong Un, the current leader of the communist monarchy that is North Korea is said by the country’s media to be “born of heaven.”

2) As proof of his divinity, or at least greatness, the country’s government point to the lair of a North Korean unicorn. Mind you this was not the home of your run-of-the mill unicorn. Oh no, this was the abode of the unicorn ridden by Tongmyong, the mythical founder of Korea. This discovery occurred in December, 2012. This site is the only existing unicorn site. It is feared that all other such sites failed to open when they realized how outclassed they were by North Korea’s.

3) Kim Jong Un’s dad, Kim Jong II, also ruled North Korea. He too was heaven sent. We can believe it as he bowled a perfect 300 in his first game and shot five holes-in-one on his first time golfing. When he died, North Korea’s sacred mountain, Paektu, glowed red, which is way cool.

4) The most popular restaurant in Pyongyang, the country’s capital, is the New Diplo with two reviews on TripAdvisorTM.. Unfortunately, it is only available to diplomats. Career change, anyone?

– Chef Paul

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World, is available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.comcover

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Korean Army Base Stew

Korean Entree

ARMY BASE STEW
(Budae Jjigae)

INGREDIENTSArmyBaseStew-

1 12-ounce can SPAMTM
4 hot dogs
1 12-ounce package firm tofu
1/2 yellow onion
3 stalks green onions
2 cloves garlic
4 cups chicken stock
2 tablespoons gochuchang (hot Korean paste)
1 tablespoon gochucharu (or red pepper flakes)
1 teaspoon sugar
1/2 tablespoon sesame oil

1 3-ounce package ramen (don’t use spice packet)

PREPARATION

Slice SPAM, hot dogs, and tofu into 1/2″ cubes or slices. Dice yellow onion, green onions, and garlic cloves. Add all ingredients except ramen to large pot. Bring to boil on high heat, about 10 minutes, stirring frequently. Reduce to low heat and simmer for 15 minutes. Stir occasionally. Add ramen (no spice backet) and simmer on low 5 minutes. Stir occasionally. It’s spicy and enjoyable.

TIDBITS

1) Koreans love SPAM. Who knew? Okay, smarty pants, besides Koreans.

2) Many Koreans went hungry during and just after the Korean War. Thousands and thousands averted starvation only by getting food from nearby American army bases. The most prevalent gift from the GIs were cans of SPAM. People there are still grateful for this food and SPAM has been adopted into Korean cuisine.

3) I’ve heard that SPAM is popular in the Philippines as well because of the SPAM American soldiers brought with them in 1944 to 1946. My father was stationed in the Philippines after the War as part of America’s SPAM diplomacy.

4) South Korea is a firm ally of America and a strong trading partner. North Korea, however, threatens us with nuclear attack. Why? Because America never got a chance to get its SPAM bearing armies into that land. SPAM brings peace and amity everywhere. Wonderful SPAM, glorious SPAM.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

 

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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