Posts Tagged With: peanut butter

1000th Post in a Row – Peanut Butter Armageddon

Posted on December 6, 2023 by pauldelancey

Simply squeeze

Sometimes humanity does great things such as landing a man on the moon, building the Panama Canal, or making laptops. These projects helped us all immensely and caused us to swell with pride.

Then there’s squeezable peanut butter. I mean, how hard is it to scoop peanut butter and spread it on a slice of bread? The simple amoeba could almost do it. All we’d have to do is make a knife small enough for it to grasp.

As of press time, aircraft carriers, necessary for our national defense, still cost a pretty penny. So, we don’t build many of them. Machines vital to the success of surgeries remain in short supply.

Why?

Because we’re devoting much of our brain power and funds to making spreadable peanut butter. So, nations will compete for scarcer and scarcer non-PB resources. Tensions will rise. Armies will mobilize.

Run for the hills, the Peanut Butter Armageddon is coming.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: face of evil, food, lifestyle | Tags: aircraft carriers, amoeba, Armageddon, Comic Chef, cookbook, humanity, laptops, man on the moon, national defense, Panama Canal, peanut butter, squeezable, squeeze, surgeries | Leave a comment

Thai Burger Wrap

Posted on April 28, 2023 by pauldelancey

Thai Entree

THAI BURGER WRAP

INGREDIENTS

1½ pounds turkey meat
1 medium carrot, about ¼ cup
3 stalks green onion
¼ teaspoon sesame oil
½ teaspoon chili powder
2 garlic cloves
½ teaspoon ground ginger
2 tablespoons smooth peanut butter
¼ teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon pepper
½ tablespoon peanut oil
¼ cup fresh cilantro
2 teaspoons mayonnaise

romaine or iceberg lettuce

PREPARATION

Mince garlic cloves. Mix all top ingredients thoroughly by hand. Make about 4 patties. Fry patties on medium-high heat for about 5 minutes, flipping them once. Wrap patty with a leaf of romaine lettuce. Wash hands before greeting dinner guests, likable or not.

TIDBITS

1) Steve Martin was a romaine-lettuce salesman appearing on a Saturday Night Live takeoff of Family Feud.

2) Thailand used to be called Siam. The musical, The King and I, was set in Thailand. The non-fiction book, on which it was based, is much more serious in tone.

3) Thailand was never conquered by the Europeans.

4) At one time, Thailand’s new army officers were required to master golf.

5) Golf is a good way to learn cussing.

6) There is no 6).

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: burger, Chef Paul, Comic Chef, cookbook, entree, ginger, good food, green onion, peanut butter, sesame oil, Thai, Thailand, The King and I, turkey, wrap | Leave a comment

Banana Peanut-Butter Milkshake

Posted on December 20, 2022 by pauldelancey

American Dessert

BANANA PEANUT-BUTTER MILKSHAKE

INGREDIENTS

3 bananas (best when ripe)
2½ cups milk
1 cup peanut butter

UTENSIL

blender

PREPARATION

Flex your fingers. Peel the bananas. Put bananas, milk, and peanut butter in blender. Use “milkshake” setting. Blend until shake is sufficiently smooth for your taste.

This delicious milkshake is a diet buster. Drink with care.

TIDBITS

1) The smell of a banana is the same as the pheromones produced by enraged swarms of bees. Just smelling a banana makes them think they should savagely attack an intruder. So, don’t walk up to a hive of bees with a banana in your hands and expect to make friends.

2) And don’t, don’t throw your banana at the hive.

3) You can polish your shoes with a banana peel. If you do, change shoes before approaching the abode of the busy bees.

4) You can buy banana beer in East Africa. I haven’t heard anything about approaching a hive with a mug of banana beer in your hand.

5) And for goodness sake, why do you keep approaching a bee hive, anyway?

6) Indeed, Paris once fell to the Vikings in because of bees.

7) The Viking Army, under the command of Ragnar Lothbrok, attacked Paris in 845.

8) The ferocious Vikings assaulted the city walls time and time again by climbing up tall, thin ladders.

9) But the defending Franks simply pushed the scaling ladders away.

10) Eventually, the Vikings became tired of falling backwards onto hard ground. Indeed, this whole ordeal made them rather cranky.

11) And there’s nothing worse than a cranky Viking.

12) The Vikings started to fight among themselves.

13) Until Ragnar walked toward a bee hive while holding a mug of honey beer.

14) Sure, the bees viciously attacked him ferociously, but he got an idea.

15) The very next day, Ragnar “Puffy Face” Lothbrok’s army catapulted bee hives and kegs of honey beer over the city walls. The enraged bees attacked the Parisians so mercilessly that the city’s clambered over the city’s fortifications unopposed. Paris fell. The Vikings would run amok in Europe for another 200 years. There you go.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: cuisine, observations | Tags: American, apocalyptic, banana, bees, Chef Paul, Comic Chef, cookbook, dessert, East Africa, good food, hunks, Lutheran, milkshake, murders, Paul De Lancey, Paul R. De Lancey, peanut butter, thriller | Leave a comment

Mchicha From Tanzania (Spinach and Peanut Curry)

Posted on July 11, 2022 by pauldelancey

Tanzanian Entree

MCHICHA
(Spinach and Peanut Curry)

INGREDIENTS

1 medium onion
1½ pounds spinach
1 tomato
2½ tablespoons ghee or butter
2 teaspoons curry powder
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup coconut milk
2½ tablespoons creamy peanut butter

SPECIAL UTENSIL

food processor (You really need this unless you’re willing to spend a lot of time chopping by hand, or so a friend told me when his food processor died just as the spinach dicing started.)

Serves 6. Takes 40 minutes.

PREPARATION

Dice onion, spinach, and tomato. Add ghee, onion, tomato, curry powder, and salt to pan. Sauté at medium heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Add spinach. Lower heat to low and simmer for 10 minutes. (Do not let spinach get mushy.) Stir enough to prevent burning. Add coconut milk and creamy peanut butter. Simmer for 3 minutes or until peanut butter blends in completely. Stir occasionally.

Goes well with rice beans, or maize porridge.

TIDBITS

1) Popeye the Sailor ManTM loved spinach.

2) It also made him strong

3) Tanzania should have its own version of Popeye.

4) Papaye Mtu Baharia is quite possibly a correct translation of his name into Swahili.

5) The most popular name for men in Tanzania is James.

6) So, I give you James Mtu Baharia, Tanzania’s strong spinach-eating hero.

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D

Categories: cuisine, international, observations | Tags: apocalyptic, Chef Paul, Comic Chef, cookbook, curry, De Lancey, entree, ghee, hero, hunks, Lutheran, Mtu Baharia, mushrooms, Paul De Lancey, Paul R. De Lancey, peanut butter, Popeye, Popeye the sailor, recipes, spinach, Swahili, Tanzania, Tanzanian, thriller | Leave a comment

Kansiye From Guinea

Posted on May 30, 2022 by pauldelancey

Guinean Entree

KANSIYE

INGREDIENTS

¼ pound butternut squash or sweet potato
1¼ pounds beef (round, chuck, or sirloin) or lamb
2 garlic cloves
1 onion
2 tomatoes
2½ tablespoons vegetable oil
¼ teaspoons cloves
⅛ teaspoon pepper
¼ teaspoon salt
⅔ cup rice
2 cups beef stock or lamb stock (Should match the meat used)
¼ cup creamy peanut butter.
¼ teaspoon thyme
1 tablespoon parsley, fresh

Serves 4. Takes 1 hours 10 minutes.

PREPARATION

Peel squash. Cut squash and beef into 1″ cubes. Mince garlic cloves, onion, and tomatoes. Add beef cubes and oil to large pan. Sauté beef for 5 minutes at medium-high heat or until completely browned. Stir enough to ensure even browning. Add cloves, garlic, onion, pepper, and salt. Reduce heat to medium. Cook for 3 minutes. Stir frequently.

Cook rice according to instructions on package. Add beef stock, butternut squash, tomato, creamy peanut butter, and thyme. Stir until well blended. Simmer at medium heat for 15 minutes. Reduce heat to low-medium. Simmer for 15 minutes or until squash cubes become tender. Stir enough to keep from burning Add rice to serving bowls. Ladle contents of pan over rice. Dice parsley. Sprinkle bowls with parsley.

TIDBITS

1) Pin the Tail on the Donkey has been a favorite party game for nursery schoolers and kindergartners for decades. Many people think the game originated in America, pointing to Edgar Allan Poe’s thrilling and eerie short story, “Pin the Tale on the Donkey.”

2) No, I say no. Pin the Tail arose in Guinea. Young kids would attempt to pin fresh parsley on the butternut squash cubes in a a bowl of Kansiye. Guinean boys and girls loved the game. Guinean mothers did not. They’d spend hours cleaning up splashed kansiye everywhere. Poe, in one of his travels to Africa, saw kids playing Pin the Parsley on the Butternut Cubes in a Bowl of Kansiye and had an idea. This idea would launch his literary career.

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: American, apocalyptic, butternut squash, Comic Chef, cookbook, De Lancey, donkey, Edgar Allan Poe, Guinean, hunks, kansiye, kindergartners, literary, murders, party game, Paul De Lancey, Paul R. De Lancey, peanut butter, pin the tail, recipes, thriller | Leave a comment

Pizzaghetti

Posted on October 29, 2021 by pauldelancey

Canadian Entree

PIZZAGHETTI

INGREDIENTS – PIZZA CRUST

2 cups all-purpose flour (1 tablespoon more later)
¾ cup water
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
½ teaspoon sugar
½ teaspoon salt
½ tablespoon active dry yeast
no-stick spray
1 tablespoon flour

INGREDIENTS – TOPPINGS

½ pound spaghetti
no-stick spray
1½ cups pasta sauce
½ pound sausage meat*
¼ pound sliced pepperoni*
2 cups mozzarella cheese

* = Substitute with your preferred toppings, if you like.

SPECIAL UTENSILS

bread maker
16″ pizza pan

Serves 6. Takes 1 hour 50 minutes.

PREPARATION – PIZZA CRUST

Add flour, water, oil, sugar, salt, and yeast to the bread maker. Do not put the yeast directly on top of the salt. Salt is bad for yeast and yeast makes the dough rise. “Ask not what your yeast can do for you. Ask what you can do for your yeast.”

Set the timer or the menu on the bread maker to “Dough.” Wait for the required time, maybe up to an hour. In the meantime preheat the oven to 400 degrees and liberally spray the pizza pan with no-stick spray. This will prevent the crust from forming a glue-like bond with the pan.

Take the dough out of the bread maker and roll it out until the dough covers the pizza pan. If you do not possess a rolling pin, any canned food can will do as long as it is at least six inches tall. Spray the pan and coat it with 1 tablespoon flour before spreading the dough.

PREPARATION – TOPPINGS

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Read instructions for spaghetti on package. Subtract 3 minutes from the suggested time. (The spaghetti will continue to cook in the oven.) Drain.

Spray pizza pan with no-stick spray. Put pizza crust on pizza pan. Spread pasta sauce over entire crust. Make ½” sausage balls. Arrange sausage balls and pepperoni slices evenly over sauce. Distribute spaghetti evenly over pizza. Sprinkle cheese over everything. Bake pizza in oven at 400 degrees for 16 minutes or until cheese turns golden brown.

Note: This another version of pizzaghetti that simply has spaghetti and sauce served next to one or two slices of pizzas. To me, the version presented here is much more exciting.

TIDBITS

1) I must say that this is an exciting dish.

2) It’s so simple now, yet so many never had the wit to combine pizza with spaghetti.

3) But Patrice Grandchat did. Culinary financial analysts report that Mlle. Grandchat now has so much money that she’s about to launch a hostile takeover of AmazonTM. “I have a lot of things in my closets and attic that I’d like to sell,” said the billionaire Quebecoise.

4) I want to be as rich as Mlle. Grandchat. If I were that wealthy, I’d never have to think twice about spending ten cents on a recyclable plastic bag at the supermarket checkout stand. So, here are my forthcoming money-making food dishes.

A) PB&S: Peanut Butter and Steak. Simply slather your steak with peanut butter. There’s a version of this entree where the steak gets stuffed with peanut butter. This is the famous Stuffed PB&S.

B) Ravioli Burger: Substitute the meat patty in your burger with ravioli.

C) Camcowpigturducken: This is a chicken inside a duck inside a turkey inside a pig inside a cow inside a camel. Vegetarians are warned away from this dish. It’s also a diet-busting meal.

D) Taco Ice Cream: Who doesn’t love tacos? Who doesn’t love ice cream? I tell you, putting a crushed taco inside cream is a stroke of genius.

E) Roast Marshmallow Beef: It’s often called RMB by its legion of fans. Nothing’s more fun than roasting marshmallows over a campfire. And roast beef is the tastiest meat entree around. And what better way to get food fussies to eat their roast beef than hiding it inside a dessert?

F) Coke Dogs: Coca ColaTM is the world’s favorite soda. The hot dog is America’s most beloved meal. Simply boil your frankfurters in a pot of Coca Cola instead of water.

G) Bean Kabobs: Finally a way to grill beans! We never could before because beans would, of course, fall through the grill. But they won’t when they’re skewered between pork cubes and onion slices.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: cuisine, international, observations | Tags: apocalyptic, bean, billionaire, burger, campfire, Canadian, Comic Chef, cookbook, entree, frankfurters, good food, grill, hot dogs, ice cream, kabobs, Lutheran, murders, Paul De Lancey, peanut butter, pizza, pizzaghetti, ravioli, recipes, roasting, spaghetti, steak, taco, thriller, turducken | Leave a comment

Fun Festivals – Elvis Impersonator Festival in Collingwood, Ontario

Posted on July 30, 2021 by pauldelancey

Perhaps the best Elvis impersonator festival in the world occurs in the summer at the Collingwood Elvis festival which thank goodness, is held in Collingwood, Ontario. It’s usually held the last weekend in July. Dang! That’s only two days from now. I don’t now if there will Covid restrictions. Sorry, there’s only so much the King can do.

This festival draws a variety of people . . . Oh heck, no it doesn’t. Only lovers of Elvis’ music will go. Oh, and Elvis impersonators. Expect to see lots and lots of Elvis impersonators. This is a good thing, however, if you love Elvis’s music and if you don’t love his songs, then why are you attending an Elvis festival?

And eat the food the King ate. See how many fried banana and peanut butter sandwiches you can devour during the festivities. Take a break and go to the nearby beach. With your Elvis batteries recharged, come back and see how many Elvises you can spot. Will he be wearing a leather jacket or a white jumpsuit? Will you see him by a goat? Will you see him on a boat? Will you see him in the park? Will you see him in the dark? Will you see him, oh so fair? Will you see him everywhere? Yes.

Elvis impersonators should note that applications are taken on a first come, first served basis. Also, don’t wear sequins. The judges know the King never wore sequins. So you will be marked down. Your so scored will be lowered enough that you’ll have no chance of winning the impersonation contest. You will return home, a broken man. Come to think of it, I don’t if a woman has ever competed. I imagine there’s been female Elvises, but I don’t know if they’ve competed here. If you do go to Collingwood to see the Kings, please let me know. At any rate there are four competitions: Canadian professional, Canadian nonprofessional, international nonprofessional and international professional.

The rest of us should put on our blue suede shoes and rock on at the Awesome Street Dance. Conclude your dancing with the midnight vigil for Elvis. Then get up in time for the Hunka Hunka Pancake Breakfast by the town hall. Bring your King size appetite. And Hell or high water won’t keep the true Elvis devotee from attending the Classic Automobile , Viper and Corvette Elvis Parade. Scads of impersonators will swarm in the cars and around them, swiveling their hips and singing away.

Get tickets well in advance for An Evening of Elvis Champions Past entertainers. You’ve spent a lot of money getting here, spending money on food, and souvenir. You deserve the best impersonators.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: fun festivals, things to see and do | Tags: apocalyptic, blue suede shows, breakfast, Canadian, Collingwood, Comic Chef, contests, cookbook, Corvette, De Lancey, Elvis, Elvis Champions Past, Elvis Presley, festive, fried banana, Hunka Hunka, hunks, impersonators, Ontario, pancake, Paul De Lancey, peanut butter, recipes, sandwiches, sequins, thank you very much, thriller, Viper | Leave a comment

Motivational Poster #6, Become A Chemist

Posted on June 26, 2021 by pauldelancey

Humanity has always been doggedly slogging away from the primordial ooze from whence it came. The advances from hominids to the first human, Lucy of Olduvai Gorge, came slowly. Then we evolved into Neanderthals, next Cro Magnons, and finally to our current state, the Modern Human. Along the way, we learned to hunt, raise crops, and build settlements. All of these advances were pretty darn exciting. People buzzed about the new achievements for decades.

But that was also a problem. The advances did take decades, if not millennia, to occur. Then chemists got involved. And Bam! Boom! The ideas and inventions kept coming, faster and faster. Before one could take down the year’s calendar, a new breakthrough in chemistry had occurred. And those new achievements were whizz-bang ones as well. Thanks to chemists we now have: distillation, gunpowder, pharmaceuticals, chemical batteries, petroleum, and plastics. “Those chemists have done it all,” I hear you say. “There’s no more breakthroughs to be had.”

But you’d be wrong. Why just recently, after extensive research, chemists came up with sliced peanut butter. Yes, no longer must we labor excavating peanut butter out of its jar and then, and then, spreading it painstakingly over a fragile slice of bread. Now, thanks to those visionaries we can simply peel off a slice of peanut butter and place it easily on a slice of bread. Life is good! Life is truly good. We are living in a golden age. Life couldn’t possibly improve.

But you’d be in error once more. That is if we don’t run out of chemists. A world without chemists is a world without blessed innovation. We need new chemists. Will you be one? The current and future generations will be ever so grateful.

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: motivational | Tags: apocalyptic, bread, chemists, Comic Chef, cookbook, cro magnons, good food, homonids, motivational, motivational poster, mushrooms, Neanderthals, Paul De Lancey, peanut butter, recipes, research, sliced, thriller | Leave a comment

Peanut Butter French Toast

Posted on September 16, 2018 by pauldelancey

Hong Kong Breakfast

PEANUT BUTTER FRENCH TOAST

INGREDIENTS

4 slices thick white bread*
6 tablespoons condensed milk
¼ cup smooth peanut butter
3 eggs
½ cup vegetable oil
2 tablespoons butter
½ cup golden syrup or maple syrup

* = Really should be milk bread, but it’s powerful hard to find outside an Asian bakery.

Serves 2 or 4, depending if you want to skip the next meal. These really are calorie bombs. Takes 30 minutes.

PREPARATION

Spread 1st bread slice with 3 tablespoons condensed milk. Spread a 2nd bread slice with 2 tablespoons peanut butter. Place 2nd bread slice, peanut butter side down, on 1st bread slice. Gently press the bread slice together to make a sealed sandwich. Repeat for 2nd sandwich..

Add eggs to mixing bowl. Whisk eggs until well blended. Dredge the sandwiches through the eggs until they are well coated, but not soggy. Add vegetable oil to pan. Fry at medium-high heat for 1-to-2 minutes on each side or until golden brown. (The 2nd sandwich is likely to take less than the 1st.) Remove sandwich. Add 1 tablespoon butter to the middle of the top slice. Drizzle ¼ cup golden syrup over sandwich. Cut in half, if desired. Repeat for remaining sandwich.

TIDBITS

1) Asphalt roads are built with asphalt.

2) The Yellow Brick Road was built with yellow bricks.

3) The Silk Road was built with silk. Silk is strong. This is why construction crews prize silkworms so highly. Look up how many silkworms were employed building the Empire State Building.

4) The recently completed Peanut Butter French Toast Road (PBFTR) was built with peanut butter French toast. Of course, Of course, newly cooked peanut French toast while tasty is completely unable to support the weigh of a big-rig truck or even a bicycle. You have to let the toast dry out. In the meantime, workers can be fed using the same peanut butter French toast. Name one other road-building material that’s edible. Not concrete, let me tell you. The closest thing America has to China’s culinary engineering is its famed Tobacco Road.

Chef Paul

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: apocalyptic, Asian, asphalt, bakery, big rig, breakfast, Chef Paul, China, cookbook, French, French toast, golden syrup, good food, Hong Kong, hunks, Lutheran, maple syrup, mushrooms, Paul De Lancey, peanut butter, recipes, Silk Road, thriller, Tobacco Road, Yellow Brick Road | Leave a comment

Peanut Butter

Posted on July 20, 2015 by pauldelancey

American Appetizer

PEANUT BUTTER

INGREDIENTS

4 cups roasted peanuts (1 cup then 3 cups)*
2 tablespoons peanut oil (½ tablespoon at a time)
½ tablespoon honey
¾ teaspoon salt
⅛ teaspoon sugar

* = 4 cups peanuts weigh about 1 pound. Purchase peanuts with the skins still on for added flavor and fiber. Buy skinned peanuts if you prefer a smoother peanut butter. And, oh gosh, buy shelled roasted peanuts. It takes forever to shell enough peanuts to make this recipe; just as long as a lecture in theoretical economics lasts..

SPECIAL UTENSILS

blender
mason jar

Makes 1½ cups. Takes 10 minutes.

PREPARATION

Add 1 cup peanuts in blender. Blend on lowest for about a minute or until the peanut bits are the size you desire. (People’s preference for the chunkiness of their peanut butter and the power of their blender vary considerably, so you’ll need to keep a close eye on the blending.) Remove and set aside.

Add remaining 3 cups peanuts, ½ tablespoon oil, and honey to blender. Set blender to lowest setting that works. (A weak blender will just make plaintive whirring noises and do nothing if it’s on too low a setting. Gradually decrease the speed of the blender to low as it becomes more and more to blend. (I think I can. I think I can. ) Blend on low setting until mixture becomes quite smooth. (The oil should be coming out of the peanuts.) If mixture is too dry to spread, add another ½ tablespoon oil and puree again. Repeat as needed with oil until mixture is easy to spread. Add salt and sugar. Fold in salt and sugar with wooden spoon.

Store in refrigerator. It should be good for 2 weeks to 2 months, depending on the seal of the jar used for storage. I prefer mason jars. Oil might rise to the top over time. Simply mix the oil back into the peanut butter with a wooden spoon.

TIDBITS

1) Each American eats seven pounds of peanut butter a year. It’s a federal law dating back to the drafting of the Constitution. Georgia simply would not sign the great document unless its mighty peanut industry was protected. After much negotiation, the states agreed on seven pounds per person per annum. Georgia signed and America had a basis for strong government

2) Some people spread out their required peanut-butter consumption evenly over the entire year. This comes out to .3068 ounces per day. To achieve such precision, people need sophisticated scales. This need explains why American kitchen scales are the envy of the world. Indeed, NASA uses these scales in its space programs.

3) Other people eat all their peanut butter in one day. Pause and reflect.

4) Americans could fill the Grand Canyon with all the peanut butter that eat in one year. This actually happened on April 1, 2000. It was a glorious occasion with millions of loaves of bread being flown and trucked in. Thousands and thousands of trucks that normally hauled crude oil were converted to dispense grape and strawberry jelly. And the toasters! Oh, they were everywhere. People said nice things to each other except, of course, for those with peanut butter stuck to the roof of their mouths.

5) Unfortunately, this happening could not become an annual event. Many tourists, especially those from countries with low peanut-butter consumption, insisted of seeing the Grand Canyon in its peanut-butter free glory.

6) We also cannot forget the frenzied riot that took place between the smooth-peanut-butter fanatics and the chunky-peanut-fanatics. Culinary historians still shake their heads when they contemplate how close America came to civil war. It certainly affected the presidential election.

7) Speaking of presidents, Thomas Jefferson and Jimmy Carter grew peanuts. Mr. Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence. Two peanuts growers, one Independence writer. We can conclude from this that every other peanut grower in America would write a Declaration of Independence.

8) Or can we conclude this? Thomas Jefferson declared independence from Great Britain. Jimmy Carter couldn’t do the same; we had already severed connections from the mother country.

9) So, who could have Mr. Carter declared independence from?

10) From America. Jimmy Carter could have penned a declaration of independence for Georgia from the United States. He didn’t, of course, but it was a near run thing.

11) In 1980, American lawmakers mindful of the horrifying carnage of the War Between the States in 1861-1865, passed a law requiring all peanut farmers to sign an annual pledge not to make their state secede from the Union.

12) Or at least to grow onions as well. No onion farmer has ever written anything advocating independence. Onion farmers are a rather down to earth sort of folks. Thank goodness.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, history, humor, politics | Tags: America, American, apocalyptic, appetizer, Chef Paul, Civil War, constitution, cookbook, De Lancey, Declaration of Independence, Georgia, Grand Canyon, Great Britain, independence, Jimmy Carter, lawmakers, Lutheran, onions, peanut butter, Peanuts, recipes, Thomas Jefferson, thriller, Union, United States, War Between the States | Leave a comment

Posts Tagged With: peanut butter

1000th Post in a Row – Peanut Butter Armageddon