Posts Tagged With: motivational poster

Motivational Poster #16, Be A Librarian

Become a knight of knowledge, a battler for books, a soldier for serenity.

Become a librarian.

 

Motivational Poster #16

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: motivational, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Motivational Poster #13, Be a Customer Service Rep

Give callers a purpose in life. Leave work feeling refreshed. Work as a Customer Service Rep. Claim your dream job. And start napping!

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: motivational | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Motivational Poster #11, Be an Editor

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This really happened. An early edition of the King James Bible urged the faithful to commit adultery. King James was not amused and fined the publishers rather heavily. If only they had hired an editor. Be an editor! Keep the world moral.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Motivational Poster #7, Data Entry

Do data entry. Do it now.

 

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D., motivator

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Motivational Poster #6, Become A Chemist

Humanity has always been doggedly slogging away from the primordial ooze from whence it came. The advances from hominids to the first human, Lucy of Olduvai Gorge, came slowly. Then we evolved into Neanderthals, next Cro Magnons, and finally to our current state, the Modern Human. Along the way, we learned to hunt, raise crops, and build settlements. All of these advances were pretty darn exciting. People buzzed about the new achievements for decades.

But that was also a problem. The advances did take decades, if not millennia, to occur. Then chemists got involved. And Bam! Boom! The ideas and inventions kept coming, faster and faster. Before one could take down the year’s calendar, a new breakthrough in chemistry had occurred. And those new achievements were whizz-bang ones as well. Thanks to chemists we now have: distillation, gunpowder, pharmaceuticals, chemical batteries, petroleum, and plastics. “Those chemists have done it all,” I hear you say. “There’s no more breakthroughs to be had.”

But you’d be wrong. Why just recently, after extensive research, chemists came up with sliced peanut butter. Yes, no longer must we labor excavating peanut butter out of its jar and then, and then, spreading it painstakingly over a fragile slice of bread. Now, thanks to those visionaries we can simply peel off a slice of peanut butter and place it easily on a slice of bread. Life is good! Life is truly good. We are living in a golden age. Life couldn’t possibly improve.

But you’d be in error once more. That is if we don’t run out of chemists. A world without chemists is a world without blessed innovation. We need new chemists. Will you be one? The current and future generations will be ever so grateful.

 

 

 

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: motivational | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Motivational Poster #5, Finding Quiet Time

Worries and cares besiege us from all sides. Numerous must-do-now projects clamor for our attention. Our nerves are on edge around the clock. We grow ever more irritable. We need time to calm down, time to think unhurried thoughts, time to dwell on loved ones, or even just time to clear mind and think of nothing. Just be. But we know this special time is impossible. There is no place to do this, thanks to cell phones, where we can’t be contacted by our bosses. If we work for ourselves at home, we know that when we relax we really could be working on some project. Our computer beckons, beckons, and soon enough we obey. We are back at work getting stressed and more stressed.

If only there were a place where we could meditate unmolested. A place where even if the world contacts us we can legitimately say, “Sorry, but I won’t be able to do anything at all for some hours. Sorry.”

Where is this paradise of meditation?

Your local DMV. Just get in line, for anything really, and you can kiss the outside world goodbye for hours. Now find your quiet place inside your mind and let your thoughts roam free.

The DMV, recharging souls for nearly a century.

 

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: humor, motivational, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Motivational Poster #4, Data Analysts

Normal people bore. Data Analysts sparkle.

Normal people blend into beige scenery. Data analysts tantalize with heart-racing sexiness.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The above picture is proof you cannot deny.

Become a data analyst and live life as it is meant to be!

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: humor, motivational | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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