Posts Tagged With: French

Potato Ham Soup

Posted on December 22, 2013 by pauldelancey

American Soup

POTATO HAM SOUP

INGREDIENTSPotatoHamSoup-

6 Russet potatoes
1 pound ham
1 onion
1/2 teaspoon mustard
1/4 teaspoon paprika
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup butter
1 cup milk
1/2 cup sour cream

PREPARATION

Cut potatoes and ham into 1/2″ cubes. Dice onion. Put potato, ham, and onion into large pot. Add just enough water to pot to cover potato, ham, and onion. Add mustard, paprika, pepper, and salt. Cook on high heat until water boils. Reduce heat to medium and cook for 20 minutes or until potato is tender. Stir occasionally. Reduce heat to warm. Add butter, milk, and sour cream. Cook for 2 minutes or until soup is heated through. Stir frequently.

TIDBITS

1) Dom DeLuise starred in a movie called Silence of the Hams. It parodied the movie Silence of the Lambs. Silence of the Hams did not do well at the box office. So I’ll discuss potatoes instead..

2) The Inca Indians of Peru were the first known cultivators of potatoes. They harvested the first spud somewhere between 8,000 BC and 5,000 BC. That’s quite a wide range of years. It’s the same thing as saying your federal-income-tax check will be in the mail sometime from now until the year 5014. See how well the folks at the IRS accept that statement.

3) In 1536, the Spanish conquered the Incan Empire for its potatoes and gold. There are thousands of varieties of potato. There is only type of gold. Gold is an element. The potato is not; it is a tuber. Sure there are such things as white gold but that comes from mixing gold from something, well um, whitish. But just think of the dozens of herbs and spices that can be added to potatoes. Moreover, the mighty tuber is truly tasty, gold not so much. Potatoes beat gold by a technical knockout.

4) Many people believe the first real French fries were actually made in Belgium. If Belgium had thought of patenting French fries, it could have ruled the world and become fabulously wealthy. However, it’s doubtful Belgium’s powerful and envious neighbors: Germany, Britain, and France would have let tiny Belgium continue with this monopoly. It’s certain a long and bloody European war would have erupted. Thank good Belgians shared the recipe. The Great Global French Fry Peace broke out, marred only the interruptions of World War I and World War II. Yay, spuds.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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La Mitraillette (Belgian Sandwich)

Posted on November 19, 2013 by pauldelancey

Belgian Entree

LA MITRAILLETTE

INGREDIENTSLaMitraillette-

1 yellow onion
1 tablespoon butter (2 more tablespoons later)
2 pounds ground beef
5 Yukon gold potatoes or medium potatoes (if you wish to make your own French fries)
1 cup French fries (if you don’t wish to make your own French fries)
2 baguettes
2 tablespoons butter
1/4 cup ketchup
1/4 cup mayonnaise

PREPARATION OF FRENCH FRIES (or used already made French Fries)

Cut potatoes into strips 1/4″ to 1/2″ wide. Soak potato strips in cold water for 30 minutes. Drain. Pat strips dry. Put oil in deep fryer. Heat oil to 340 degrees. Put potato strips in fryer. Fry strips at 340 degrees for 5-to-10 minutes or until they become crisp and turn golden brown. You will most likely need to cook in batches. Remove fries. Put fries on paper towels to remove grease. If you are using already-made fries, put fries in pan and fry on medium heat for 5 minutes or until thoroughly heated. Stir occasionally.

PREPARATION OF SANDWICH

Dice onion. Put onion and 1 tablespoon butter in frying pan. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion is tender. Stir frequently. Remove onion. Make 8 small beef patties. Fry patties on medium high-heat for 5 minutes or until meat is no longer pink. Flip patties occasionally.

While beef is cooking, cut baguettes in two along their width. Cut open demi-baguettes. Spread 2 tablespoons butter on the inside of the baguette pieces. Toast the baguettes pieces butter side down in frying pan on medium-high heat for 2 minutes. Assemble sandwiches with bottom halves of baguettes, onion, ground beef, French fries, ketchup, mustard, and top halves of baguettes .
TIDBITS

1) “La mitraillette” means “the machine gun” in French. Machine Gun Kelly was a famous gangster. Gene Kelly was a renowned dancer. Gene Krupa was a great band leader from the Big Band Era.

2) E.R.A. stands for Earned Run Average and equals (earned runs/innings pitched) * 9. Yay!

3) You should make sure your ground beef turns brown in this recipe. The ground is beneath your feet. Most people and tyrannosaurus rexes have two feet. And so it goes.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Dijon Mustard

Posted on November 12, 2013 by pauldelancey

French Appetizer

DIJON MUSTARD

INGREDIENTSDijonMustard-

1/2 medium yellow onion
2 cloves garlic
1 cup dry white wine
1/2 cup mustard, dry
1 1/2 tablespoons honey
1/2 tablespoon vegetable oil
1/2 teaspoon salt

SPECIAL UTENSILS

colander
airtight jar

PREPARATION

Mince the onion and garlic. Put wine, onion, garlic in pot. Cook at high heat until wine boils. Stir frequently. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 5 minutes. Stir occasionally. Pour mixture through colander into mixing bowl. Let liquid cool.

Add mustard to mixing bowl. Stir with whisk until mixture is smooth. Add wine/garlic/mustard, honey, vegetable, and salt to pot Simmer for about 10 minutes or until liquid thickens. (Don’t look down too long at pot. The vapor will make your eyes sting.) Let cool. Pour into airtight jar. Keep refrigerated. The Dijon mustard will get slightly milder over the next 5 days.

TIDBITS

1) Ancient doctors used mustard to cure toothaches, epilepsy, and PMS, increase blood circulation, clear sinuses, and stimulate appetite. It had indifferent success in curing death as shown by the mustard found in King Tut’s tomb. Listen to the comedian Steve Martin & the Toot Uncommons sing the praises of King Tut.

2) Many cultures scatter mustard seeds around the home to repel evil spirits. Bear traps are a good way to tackle bad spirits taking on animal form. Leaving lutefisk outside your door wards off all spirits ethereal or corporal, including mimes selling aluminum siding door to door.

3) Indeed, people in medieval Paris could buy mustard by the wheelbarrow. This facts suggests lots of door-to-door mimes ran around back then. On the other hand, there is scant evidence of 13th-century Parisian homes, stone, wood, or otherwise, being adorned with aluminum siding.

4) Canada is the largest producer of mustard. There aren’t many evil spirits in Canada. See?

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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White Cake

Posted on November 8, 2013 by pauldelancey

American Dessert

WHITE CAKE

INGREDIENTSWhiteCake-

3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) butter
1 1/2 cups sugar
2 eggs
3 egg whites
2 cups flour
2 1/4 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
3/4 cups milk
no-stick spray

SPECIAL UTENSILS

2 9″-round cake tins
electric beater

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Let butter soften at room temperature. Put butter and sugar in large mixing bowl. Use “cake” setting on electric beater for 5 minutes or until butter and sugar becomes creamy.

Blend in eggs and egg whites one at a time using “cake” setting on electric beater. Add flour, baking powder, and salt to mixing bowl. Blend all using “cake” setting. Add milk. Blend one last time using “cake” setting on your electric beater until batter is smooth.

Spray cake tins with no-stick spray. Spoon or pour batter into cake tins. Put tins in oven. Bake at 350 degrees for 30-to-35 minutes or until a toothpick stuck in the middle comes out clean or when the cake springs back when touched with a spoon.

TIDBITS

1) Queen Marie Antoinette was told that the poor Parisians couldn’t afford to buy bread anymore. She said, “Let them eat cake,” which was more expensive. This ignorance and callousness so inflamed the French poor that they started the French Revolution.

2) Thousands of the nobility died at the guillotine during the Revolution. Thousands more peasants died during the White Terror reaction of the nobility. France became so unstable that Napoleon was able to seize power in 1799. Napoleon plunged Europe into nearly constant warfare for the next sixteen years. Hundreds of thousands of people perished. People couldn’t every tweet outrage.

3) The French government since then has heavily regulated the price of bread.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Atty’s Attic Interviews Me!

Posted on October 1, 2013 by pauldelancey

Atty'sAttic

Paul DeLancey goes above and beyond on this interview. You’re gonna love this guy!

While the Earl of Sandwich earns a spot in any culinary hall of fame, he was indeed a flawed man: opinionated, drunken, corrupt, incompetent, a sex fiend, a Satan worshiper, and all that.

And with that intro welcome Paul to my attic.

Who are you and where did you come from?

I’m Paul R. De Lancey. I was born in Los Angeles. I mostly grew up in Arcadia, California. I lived a year in Australia and three years in the Netherlands. I enjoy humorous novels, science fiction, history, and cookbooks. I also enjoy long walks to the fridge for orange juice.

Obviously you’re a writer, what is the name of your book and the general plot?

The title is “Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World.” It’s a cookbook, so there isn’t any plot, although I do add humorous tidbits at the end of each recipe about the recipe and its ingredients.

Where did you come up with the idea?

I’ve always liked to cook. I had been posting my meals on Facebook and on my blog. People showed interest and even suggested I write a cookbook. So I did.

Which of your characters do you like the most and why?

Again, there are no characters in a cookbook, but I like Mexican food the best.

Too funny, thank you for answering anyway!

Which one do you hate the most and why?

I hate lutefisk. So did the Vikings. The idea of staying put in Scandinavia with its horrible lutefisk made the Vikings so ornery that they invaded and rampaged over Europe for centuries.

You’re stranded on an island and you are granted three things;

The first thing you’re granted is an iPod with only one song loaded, what is it?

The theme song from Barney to motivate me in finding a way off the island.

The second item is a book with the last chapter missing, what is it and who wrote it?

War and Peace by Tolstoy. I Loved it except for the mind-numbingly boring last chapter. I want to thank who ever tore out that last chapter.

And the third thing you’re granted on this island is a lunchbox with a sandwich and a full thermos, yummy, what kind of sandwich and drink would you appreciate?

Philly cheese steak and root beer.

What is the biggest mistake you have made in your life? Not writing or publishing mistake – any mistake. Even if it happened in 3rd grade, I wanna know about it.

Stupidly changing an answer on a national math test in high school at the last second. If I had left it alone I would have gotten national recognition.

What would you do for a Klondike bar?

Not much.

You’re still stranded on that island and two people show up, the character you love the most, and the one you hate the most, and they both know what you said about them. What do you do?

Get them to look for a contact lens in the sand while I sip on the root beer I got earlier in this questionnaire.  Oh, and thank you for the root beer.

Flash round favorites:

Color

Blue

Sound

In my hearing range

Season

Spring. I so wanted to say allspice.

Animal

Cat

Smell

Food cooking

Food

Tacos

Place to visit

Fiji

Place to live

Wherever my family is

Movie

It’s a Gift by W.C. Fields

Alien

Mexican, French, Swedish

Great answer!

Number

5

Writing spot

Fiji

Texture

Smooth

Planet

Earth

And last of all, favorite memory?

Births of my children

Anything else you would like to add?

Vote Bacon & Chocolate in 2016.

And on that note, Paul didn’t have to but he shared a fantastic recipe for us so I do expect you all to try it. Thank you so much, Paul for going above and beyond!

 

American Entrée

 SLOW FRENCH DIP SANDWICHES

french

INGREDIENTS

2 1/2 pounds beef loin top sirloin
1 1/2 pounds beef sirloin tip
1 10.5 ounce can condensed French onion soup
1 cup beef stock or broth
1/2 cup water
8 peppercorns
1 bay leaf
1 teaspoon rosemary
1 teaspoon thyme
2 garlic cloves
1 teaspoon beef base or 1 beef bouillon cube
1/2 teaspoon sea salt
1 teaspoon Meat MagicTM spice
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
10 slices provolone cheese or about 10 ounces
5 French rolls

SPECIALTY ITEM

3 quart, or larger, slow cooker.

PREPARATION

Cut the top sirloin and the sirloin tip enough so that it will fit inside your slow cooker and be covered with the liquid you will add later. Dice garlic cloves.

In fact, here comes the liquid now. Pour French onion soup, beef stock, and water into slow cooker. And now for addition. Add peppercorns, bay leaf, rosemary, thyme, garlic, beef base, sea salt, meat spice, and pepper. And wait.

And wait. Oh and the turn the cooker on low for 6-to-8 hours. (Egads, you’ll have time to collect all receipts that you’ve stashed all around the house in preparation for tax time. Then you forgot where you put them. Now you have time to find them. Go! Go! Look for those receipts. I’m with you on this one.)

It really pays to get an early start on this one, especially if you are using your cooker for the first time. Many but not all slow cookers will get the job done on low in 6-to-8 hours. (My crock pot however needs to be set on high to cook anything in less time than it takes a city to repair a major street.)

Use spoon with holes in it to remove beef from cooker to serving bowl. Open French rolls. Put a slice of provolone cheese on each half. Use spoon with holes in it to put a generous portion of beef on the roll. Spoon juice remaining in cooker onto open sandwich. Close sandwich. Spoon more juice onto closed French roll. Eat. Dream of Heaven.

TIDBITS

1) The sandwich was invented in 1762 when the Earl of Sandwich was too busy to leave the gambling table to eat. Instead, he had a waiter bring him roast beef between two pieces of bread.

2) See, gambling has been good for society.

3) Indeed, many people believe professional sports came into being because gamblers hired players to be on the team they were backing with their bets.

4) The Earl asked for slices of bread to keep the grease from the roast beef from marking the playing cards.

5) While the Earl earns a spot in any culinary hall of fame, he was indeed a flawed man: opinionated, drunken, corrupt, incompetent, a sex fiend, a Satan worshiper, and all that.

6) There is no word, however, if he over spiced.

7) But he did weaken the Royal Navy to such an extent that the French Fleet beat it in 1781, ensuring America’s victory in the American Revolution.

8) A lot to think about when you bite into your next sandwich.

website: www.lordsoffun.com

blog: pauldelancey.com

Thank you so very much for coming to cook for us today. My attic smells wonderful!

Thank you, Atty!

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Dulce de Leche

Posted on September 28, 2013 by pauldelancey

Mexican Dessert

DULCE DE LECHE

INGREDIENTSDulceDeLeche-

1 14-ounce can condensed milk
1 14-ounce can evaporated milk

PREPARATION

Add condensed milk and evaporated milk to pot. Cook on medium heat for 10 minutes or until liquid begins to boil. Stir frequently. Reduce heat to low and cook for about 30 minutes or until liquid thickens and turns toffee color. Stir frequently to avoid burning and boiling over.

Serve by itself or with ice cream, pancakes, cakes, beans, bread, or crackers.. This will keep for months if poured into an airtight, sterilized jar and kept in the refrigerator. But that won’t happen, it’s too delicious.

TIDBITS

1) I had always thought dulce de leche to be Mexican. But no, a swirling controversy exists over its country of origin.

2) Indeed, Argentina once pressed the United Nations to declare dulce de leche an Argentinean culinary creation. Uruguay presented a counter claim and the world edged closer to conflict. The crisis receded when delegates from both countries partook of dulce de leche. This wondrous dessert is simply too delectable and filling to leave room for acrimonious debate and world slumbered its way back to peace.

3) Argentineans claim a maid was so distracted by attending to delegates to a peace conference that she forgot about the sweetened milk on the stove. She returned to find a caramel paste which everyone loved. A peace treaty was soon signed. I’m telling you; culinary diplomacy is the surest way to lasting, international peace

4) Legend has dulce de leche being used as medicine in India about 5,000 years ago. Some people even now use dulce de leche as an alternative medicine. Is there nothing this dessert can’t do?

5) One of Napoleon’s cooks accidentally made dulce de leche for his troops. Napoleon himself had a dessert named after him. Sure, he tried to conquered all of Europe, but we all have our bad points, don’t we? It’s time to move on and remember the desserts the French Emperor gave us and use them to build a lasting peace just like the Argentineans and Uruguyans.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Pierogies

Posted on September 21, 2013 by pauldelancey

Polish Entree

PIEROGIES

INGREDIENTSPierogies-

2 potatoes
1/2 cup cheddar cheese (or already grated)
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1/4 onion

2 tablespoons butter
4 1/2 cups flour
2 eggs
1 cup sour cream
1 teaspoon salt (1/4 teaspoon more later)
4 teaspoon olive oil

1/4 teaspoon salt

6 tablespoons butter
1/2 teaspoon parsley
1/4 cup sour cream

To prepare filling: Peel potatoes. Cut potatoes into 1″ cubes. Mince onion. Boil potatoes on high heat for 20 minutes. Drain water. Use potato masher or fork to mash potatoes. Grate cheese. Add potato, cheese, onion, salt, and pepper to large bowl. Use fork to mix ingredients together.

To prepare dough: Let butter soften. Add butter, flour, eggs, sour cream, salt, and olive oil to large mixing bowl. Knead ingredients into a soft dough. Divide dough into 3 lumps and cover with wax paper for 10 minutes.

Sprinkle flour on flat surface and on rolling pin. Roll the dough in a circle 1/4″ thick. Use 3″ wide glass to make 3″ circles.

To assemble: Place 1 tablespoon of filling in the center of each dough circle. Fold dough over to make a half moon. Seal edges with the tines of a fork.

Add enough water to large pot to cover pierogies. Add 1/4 teaspoon salt. Boil water. Add pierogies. Boil for 8 minutes or until pierogies float.

Skip this step if you don’t give your pierogies a golden-brown crust. Add softened butter to pan. Add 6 pierogies at a time to pan. Sauté pierogi on each side on medium-high heat for about 2 minutes or until golden brown. (Just saying golden brown puts you halfway down the path to being a chef.) Remove pierogies from pan.

Garnish pierogies with sour cream and parsley.

TIDBITS

1) Other types of pierogies have garlic in them.

2) In 1986, French and Soviet spacemen quarreled over garlic. The French would not go into space without garlic. The Soviets complained about garlic’s bad smell and refused to allow it onto the space station. Did the world come close to war? I don’t know.

3) Garlic has been thought by many over the centuries to ward off vampires.

4) Perhaps the French though the Soviets were sending their vampires into space.

5) For decades, the Soviets sent their political undesirables into the gulags of Siberia.

6) Vampires are about as undesirable as people get and since space stations are farther from Moscow than Siberia, I understand the Soviets wanting to send their vampires into outer space.

7) And I totally understand the French government not wanting its astronauts to come back as vampires to infect the entire country because they were bitten by cosmonaut vampires.

8) I always have garlic in my home to ward off Russian vampire spacemen. Better safe than sorry, I always say.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Argentinian Barbecue

Posted on August 24, 2013 by pauldelancey

Argentinian Entree

ARGENTINIAN BARBECUE

INGREDIENTSArgSausage-

1/4 cup sea salt
1 cup warm water
6 pork sausages
1 chicken breast
2 1/2 pounds beef short ribs
2 1/3 pounds beef tip roast (or round steak)
salsa criolla (see recipe above)

SPECIAL UTENSIL

barbecue!

PREPARATIONArgRibs-

This is a multi-course entree. Start barbecue up to 40 minutes before you want to start cooking depending on your grill..

Add salt and water to bowl. Stir until salt dissolves.

Place sausages and chicken breast on grill. Grill for 15-to-20 minutes or until done on all sides. Remove sausages. Cut sausages and chicken breast diagonally into 4 or 5 pieces each. Serve.

Put short ribs bony side down on grill. Grill ribs for 15 minutes. Turn over ribs and brush tops with salt water. Barbecue for another 15-to-30 minutes. Remove and serve.

Put round steak on grill. Grill for 5 minutes. Turn over and baste top with salt water. Repeat this for another 20-to-30 minutes or until cooked to your desired level of doneness. Remove. Cut into thin slices.

Please note there is quite variation in times needed to grill your meat to your satisfaction depending on your preferences of well done versus rare, the thickness of the meat, and the efficiency of your grill. You will need to monitor the grilling.ArgSteak-

Serve with salsa criolla.

TIDBITS

1) Some people feel many exotic dishes taste like chicken. Some of them are: alligator, crocodile, frog, kangaroo, turtle, marine iguana, pigeon, quail, squirrel, snake, swan, toad, and most birds.

2) Why?

3) Chicken has lower levels of glutamates. Glutmates contribute to something called “umami.” “Umami” contributes to … Excuse me, I need a nap. Zzzz!

4) A consensus mildly interesting scientists holds that chickens and other birds descended from dinosaurs. Most dinosaurs died out when a huge meteorite struck the Earth at 6:02 a.m. exactly sixty-five million years ago. Only a relatively small number of species survived Meteor Apocalypse.

4) Did the dinosaurs suffer from zombie apocalypses? Archeologists are mute on this subject for as well all know it is exceedingly difficult to distinguish a regular dinosaur fossil from a zombie dinosaur fossil.

5) Dinosaurs had tiny brains. Zombie dinosaurs would necessarily have possessed tiny brains as well. We know from observing the behavior of current zombies–See the reality show, Dodge City Zombies–that zombies really want brains. And dinosaurs possessed tiny brains. Zombie dinosaurs would have needed to eat dozens of living dinosaurs to get their brain fixes. This urge to eat brains still shows up in the French entree cerveau d’agneau (lamb’s brain.)

6) Anyway, chickens and birds descend from the same common ancestors. That’s why they all taste somewhat the same.

7) Crocodiles have a lot in common with chickens. So they say. They look a lot different to me. I can tell you I would run a lot faster from a chicken than from a chicken, no matter how enraged the chicken might be.

8) This commonality between chickens and crocodiles explains the similarity in taste.

9) Scientists now think Tyrannosaurus Rex tasted like chicken. So, if you are eating chicken, you are a distant way eating a fierce king of the dinosaur. Roar!

10) Listen to “Tastes Like Chicken” by Austin Lounge Lizards. It’s great.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

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Lavender Lemon Chicken

Posted on July 28, 2013 by pauldelancey

French Entree

LAVENDER LEMON CHICKEN

INGREDIENTSLavLemChicken-

4 chicken breasts
1/2 tablespoon thyme
2 teaspoons lavender
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
2 garlic cloves
2 tablespoons lemon juice
zest from 1 lemon
1/4 cup chicken stock
1/2 cup white wine
5 teaspoons honey

PREPARATION

Crush lavender with rolling pin. Mince garlic cloves. Add lavender, garlic, honey, thyme, lemon juice, lemon zest, salt, pepper, white wine, and chicken stock to large mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended. Add chicken breasts to mixing bowl. Coat chicken thoroughly with mixture in bowl. Marinate chicken for at least 30 minutes.

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Put chicken and marinade in roasting pan. Roast chicken at 400 degrees for 40-to-50 minutes or until chicken has an internal temperature of 165 degrees or until juices from chicken, pierced by a fork, are clear. Turn chicken breasts over halfway through.

Transfer chicken breasts to large serving bowl. Pour juice from roasting pan over chicken. Serve and enjoy.

TIDBITS

1) People in the Middle ages believe lemon juice dissolved fish bones. That is why they served a lemon slice with a fish entree; the slice would get rid of any accidentally swallowed fish bones.

2) Tidbit 1) shows us why the Middle Ages were also know as the Dark Ages. A fish bone might get stuck in a diner’s throat, the place where the bone could do the most harm. But how would a lemon slice help clear the tracheal passage? I would think the lemon slice would prevent breathing much more than a small fish bone.

3) Indeed in 1355, Antonio Pesto, of Pavia, Italy, thought the same way. In his horribly misspelled work, Pescatus Lemonatus Librecum Keteris Pareebus, experiments show how lemon juice will absolutely not dissolve a fish bone in time to prevent choking. Indeed, a lemon slice caught in the throat will cause many more deaths by asphyxiation.
4) Mortality rates plunged in plague ravage Europe after Pesto’s findings became widely disseminated.

5) Indeed, many modern scholars believe that 35% to 63% of all deaths attributed to the horrific Black Death plague of 1347 to 1352 were actually caused by lemon slices stuck in throats.

6) Lemonade was invented in 1378 as a way of letting people savor the taste of lemon without the danger of its slices. Life has gotten better for humanity ever since.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Roasted Red Peppers with Baguettes

Posted on July 10, 2013 by pauldelancey

French Entree

ROASTED RED PEPPERS WITH BAGUETTES

INGREDIENTSRoastedRPwB-

4 red bell peppers
3 cloves garlic
1 cup olive oil
4 teaspoons herbes de Provence
1/2 teaspoon sea salt
1/2 teaspoon mignonette pepper (or pepper)
2 baguettes

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 450 degrees.

Bake bell peppers in baking dish at 450 degrees. Turn every 8 minutes until skin blackens on all sides. Remove bell peppers and put in a paper lunch bag. Close lunch bag and let bell peppers sweat for an hour.. Do not, do not, for the love of God, Montressor, take them out early.

If you take the red bell peppers out of the bag early, you will find it so difficult to remove the skin from the bell peppers. You will be so frustrated by this that you will find yourself going constantly to the DMV just to be in a happier place. You will become a DMV groupie. Do not let this happen. Keep those bell peppers in the bag for the full hour.

While the bell peppers are steaming in the sack, mince garlic cloves. Put garlic, olive oil, herbes de Provence, salt, and pepper in mixing bowl and mix with fork.

Because you will need to peel those bell peppers. Cut the peppers into thin short strips. Spoon mix with liquid over baguette slices. Serve to adoring guests. Unappreciative guests get bonked over the head with a stale baguette. Sacré bleu

The bell pepper/olive oil mixed can also be used Provençale Roasted Red Pepper Soup.

TIDBITS

1) This was supposed to have been called Rhone River Roasted Red Pepper Soup for its alliterative beauty, but that title would have been too long to fit on one line.

2) And without beauty, what is there? Might as well sit in dentists’ waiting room.

3) Fortunately, beauty exists everywhere.

4) We can thank the French Revolution which erupted in 1789 to protect the rights of the common person and to protect beauty.
5) Many people died ensuring that Revolution would succeed. Generations of Frenchmen would go to war before France would finally get a stable republic.

6) With a stable republic, artists need no longer go to war. They become free to create beautiful works of art.

7) So after all that, how could I mar beauty with a two-line title?

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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