Posts Tagged With: Cuban

Picadillo

Cuban Entree

PICADILLO

INGREDIENTS

1 green bell pepper
3 garlic cloves
1 large onion
3 Roma tomatoes
2 tablespoons olive oil
¾ teaspoon cumin
1 teaspoon oregano
¼ teaspoon pepper
¼ teaspoon salt
1½ pounds ground beef
3 tablespoons dry white wine
3 tablespoons tomato paste
12 pimiento (aka pimento) stuffed olives
¼ cup raisins
2 tablespoons fresh parsley

Serves 6. Takes 45 minutes.

PREPARATION

Seed and mince bell pepper. Mince garlic cloves. Dice onion and tomato. Add bell pepper, garlic, onion, olive oil, cumin, oregano, pepper, and salt to pan. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Add ground beef, wine, tomatoes and tomato paste. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 10 minutes. Stir occasionally. Add olives and raisins. Simmer on low heat for 10 minutes or until raisins plump. Stir occasionally. Garnish with parsley.

TIDBITS

1) The first soup bowls didn’t have a bottom. Scalding-hot soup ladled into them went straight through to the would-be diner’s lap. This is why birth rates were so low until the Renaissance. Then in 1466 a young busboy, Leonardo Da Vinci, weary of cleaning up soup spills, invented soup bowls with bottoms. Suddenly, he had free time to invent and paint. Other busboys such as Michelangelo used this expanded off hours to paint and sculpt. The Renaissance was born.

2) Unfortunately, with creative energies diverted to the arts, bowl design stagnated. Soup-eating armies found little time for campaigning as they took forever to be served. Indeed, General Lee’s peanut-eating army consistently stole a march on their soup-slurping Northern counterparts. Then in 1863, busboy, George Meade discovered he could toss the soup bowls like a FrisbeeTM, if he made the bowls round. (Yes, it does take practice to this without spilling the soup.) President Lincoln, realized an army that could serve soup suddenly could keep up with the Rebels. He made Meade general. Three days, the round-bowl eating bluecoats defeated the gray coats at Gettysburg. The Union would be preserved, slavery would be abolished, and we are eating out of round bowls.

Chef Paulcookbookhunks

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with 180 wonderful recipes is available on amazon.com. My newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, is also available on amazon.com

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Cuban Hamburger (Frita Cubana)

Cuban Entree

CUBAN HAMBURGER
(Frita Cubana)

INGREDIENTS

4 garlic cloves
1 onion
2 tablespoons olive oil
¾ teaspoon cumin
½ tablespoon Spanish paprika or paprika
¼ teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon salt
3 tablespoons ketchup
¼ chorizo (no casings)
1 pound ground beef
¾ pound ground pork
½ cup bread crumbs
2 tablespoons olive oil
1½ pounds shoestring potatoes (And cooking oil as well if deep frying or pan frying.)
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
12 hamburger rolls

Makes 12 hamburgers. Takes 50 minutes.

PREPARATION

Mince garlic cloves and onion. Add garlic, onion, and olive to pan. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion and garlic soften. Add sautéed onions and garlic, cumin, paprika, pepper, salt, ketchup, chorizo, ground beef, ground pork, and bread crumbs. Mix with hands until well blend. Shape meat mix into 12 patties.

Cook shoestring potatoes according to directions on package. Add 2 tablespoons olive oil to pan and as many meat patties that will fit. Cover. Sauté meat patties at medium-high heat for 5 minutes on each side or until meat is cooked to your desired level of doneness. You might need to cook the patties in batches. Top patties with Worcestershire sauce. Warm or lightly toast buns. Add patties to bun bottoms. Top patties with shoestring potatoes. Place bun tops on shoestring potatoes.

TIDBITS

1) The most common geometric shapes drawn by the cavemen was the triangle. So, it’s no surprise cavemen engineers chiseled stone into triangular wheels. This shape proved to be quite useless for transportation. The PorscheTM line of high performance cars would have to wait. But then the Cubanhamburgerpithicus tribe invented the Cuban hamburger. Little prehistoric diners thrilled hunter-gatherers with this avant-garde culinary creation. Soon, an engineer, Ogg Edsel Yugo, had himself a Cuban hamburger. It was tasty. It was round. It inspired him to make a wheel, to make a car. Edsel Yugo’s car flopped. Humanity would wait several millennia for Porsches. Bummer.

Chef Paulcookbookhunks

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with 180 wonderful recipes is available on amazon.com. My newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, is also available on amazon.com

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Camarones Enchilados

Cuban Entree

CAMARONES ENCHILADOS

INGREDIENTSCamaronesEnchilados-

2 pounds shrimp, peeled and deveined
3 tablespoons lime juice
½ teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon salt
¼ cup fresh cilantro
4 garlic cloves
1 large onion
¼ cup fresh parsley
1 cubanelle, Anaheim pepper or yellow bell pepper
5 tablespoons olive oil
1 bay leaf
½ teaspoon TabascoTM sauce
¾ cup tomato sauce
½ cup white wine

Makes 4 bowls. Takes 1 hour 30 minutes.

PREPARATION

Add shrimp, lime juice, pepper, and salt to large mixing bowl. Mix together with hand or fork until shrimp is thoroughly coated. Cover and marinate in refrigerator for 1 hour. While shrimp marinates, mince cilantro, garlic cloves, onion and , parsley. Seed and dice cubanelle. Remove shrimp and keep marinade from mixing bowl.

Add olive oil, cubanelle, garlic, and onion to frying pan. Sauté on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Add cilantro, parsley, marinade, bay leaf, Tabasco sauce, tomato sauce, and white wine. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 10 minutes. Stir occasionally. Add shrimp and simmer for 5 or until shrimp turns pink or orange and is no longer translucent. Remove bay leaf. Goes well with rice.

TIDBITS

1) Nes Enchila sold shrimp on a stick from the back of his Chevy Camaro in the Little Miami section of Havana during the 1950s. His food was so good that the Spanish speaking people, of which there were many in Havana, would ask for two or “dos.”

2) In 1959, hungry Cuban revolutionaries hailed Nes as he drove by. Nes remembered how Dictator Bautista had just stiffed him on a big catering order and fed them all. Their energy restored, Castro and his men ousted Bautista in two days. Later, Castro invited the Russians over for Nes’s shrimp. They brought missiles with them and the world almost had a nuclear war. Nes’s food was that good.

Chef Paul

LutheranCookbook

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, are available in paperback or Kindle on amazon.com

The cookbook is also available as an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

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Cuban Moros y Cristianos

Cuban Entree

MOROS Y CRISTIANOS
(beans and rice)

INGREDIENTSMorosYchristianos-

12 ounces dry black beans
2½ cups long white rice
5 cups chicken stock
1 green bell pepper
3 garlic cloves
1 medium onion
2½ tablespoons olive oil
1 bay leaf
½ teaspoon cumin
½ teaspoon oregano
¼ teaspoon pepper
¾ teaspoon salt
1½ tablespoon white vinegar
1 tablespoon tomato paste

SPECIAL ITEM

Dutch oven

Makes 6 bowls. Takes 2½ hours.

PREPARATION

Add beans to pot. Add enough water to cover beans with 1″ of water. Bring to boil using high heat. Let boil for 20 minutes. Stir occasionally. Remove, cover, and let stand for 1 hour. Drain and rinse beans. Again add water until beans are covered by 1″ of water. Bring to boil using high heat. Stir occasionally. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 1 hour or until beans are tender. Drain.

While beans simmer, add rice and chicken stock to pot or rice cooker. Cook rice according to instructions on package.

While beans still soak and rice cooks, seed bell pepper. Dice bell pepper, garlic cloves, and onion. Add bell pepper, garlic, onion, and olive oil to Dutch oven. Sauté on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Add black beans from pot, bay leaf, cumin, oregano, pepper, salt, vinegar, and tomato paste. Cook on medium heat for 5 minutes. Stir occasionally. Add rice with chicken stock to Dutch oven. Stir and serve with sofrito.

TIDBITS

1) The Declaration of Independence of 1776 voiced America’s most cherished ideals in such a forceful and plain manner as to compel the assent of the world’s powers to America’s right to nationhood.

2) It was also a practical document listing all the things King George III of Britain did to annoy, vex, and hamper the commerce of The Thirteen Colonies.

3) One action that stands in my mind is how George and his ministers hampered the New England fishing fleets. The seamen clamored for the removal of these restrictions. It didn’t happen.

4) It became clearer and clearer that the only way for the fishermen to get a sympathetic National Fisheries Department was to create a new nation.

5) In 1773, the British sent regiment after regiment of infantry to Boston to suppress Boston’s surly and increasingly unruly fishermen. The redcoats stormed one bay-side warehouse after another carrying off cannon, muskets, and weapon-grade fish hooks. Surely, Boston was ripe for revolution.

6) But nothing happened. Boston baked beans had made the culinary scene. All the inns and taverns from New Hampshire to New Jersey served this new entree. It was so good. It is still so good. Diners became contented, contented enough to put revolutions and reality shows on hold.

7) In 1775, however, King George and his council made a truly egregious blunder. They omitted all types of carrots from the list of foodstuffs that could be grown in the colonies. From that moment on, carrots could only be imported from England on English ships.

8) These “carroty omissions,” an anagram for “Moros y Cristianos,” devastated the carrot farmers of New York, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Virginia, and Georgia. Passions ran high. Royal carrot enforcers were hung in effigy; their homes stormed and ransacked.

9) New England’s merchant fleet stayed in port. With no carrots to ship from the south to ship to carrot-starved Boston, there was no reason for them to venture out. Unemployment soared in all Thirteen Colonies.

10) Unemployed people tend to do two things, congregate at skateboard parks and foment revolution against the mother country. There were no skateboard parks in 1775. Revolution loomed.

11) On February 7, 1775, Samuel Magpie got up before the Pennsylvanian legislature to thunder, “Give me carrot cake or I’ll hold my breath until I turn blue.” Only a few people noticed. However, Patrick Henry was one of them.

12) Patrick Henry was an omnivore, a person or animal eating both fish and carrots. He knew the spark needed to inflame people’s hearts needed to be broader.

13) So on March 23, 1775 he addressed the Virginia Convention, “Give me liberty of give me death.” This was sheer brilliance. He had stood up for the rights of farmers to grow carrots and fishers to fish, while simultaneously creating a metaphor for ending political oppression. The fired-up conventioneers voted for a national convention. The Declaration of Independence would be signed a scant year later. Seven years more, America would become a new nation.

14) The great world powers took this lesson to heart.. Ever since then, no nation has dared to enact anti-carrot legislation. Carrot salad, anyone?

– Chef Paul

LutheranCookbook

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, are available in paperback or Kindle on amazon.com

The cookbook is also available as an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, history, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

One Day Injera – Ethiopian Flatbread

Ethiopian Entree

ONE DAY INJERA
(flatbread)

INGREDIENTSOneDayInjera-

1½ cups teff flour
2 cups water

½ teaspoon baking powder
¼ teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons ghee or vegetable oil

Makes 4 injeras. Takes 24 hours to ferment and 20 minutes to cook.

SPECIAL UTENSILS

no-stick pan
cheesecloth or thin towel

PREPARATION

Add teff flour and water to large mixing bowl. Mix with whisk until well blended. Cover batter with cheesecloth, or thin kitchen towel, and let sit in the open air for about 24 hours. This ferments the batter. Batter is fermented when surface cracks and bubbles appear. You can cook with the batter sooner if you wish, but you will get less of the customary sourness of injera.

Add baking powder and salt to mixing bowl. Mix with whisk until batter is well blended. Add ½ tablespoon ghee to pan. Use low heat to melt ghee. Add ¼ of the batter, about ⅔ cup, from mixing bowl to pan. Shake pan so that batter completely covers the surface of the pan. Batter should be somewhat thicker than a crepe. Cover and cook batter for 3-to-5 minutes or until bubbles appear on the top and the edges of the batter begin to curl. Do not flip the injera flatbread. Be careful not to brown the bottom of the batter. (Use your x-ray vision to check. If you fell asleep when your teacher taught how to do this, lift up an edge of the injera with a spatula and take a peek.) Repeat for remaining injeras.

Remove injera flatbread carefully with spatula. Serve with doro wat (chicken stew), siga wat (beef stew), sega wat (lamb stew), mesir wat (red lentil puree), or whatever you wish. Simply tear off pieces of injera and eat by hand. Alternatively. roll up injera and then eat by hand.

TIDBITS

1) Injera is the national bread of Ethiopia.

2) One-day injera sounds a lot like “guantanamera” a famous song from Cuba.

3) A guantamera is woman from Gunatanamo, Cuba. So “Guantanamera, guajira, Guantanamera” means “Guantamo, Cuban woman, peasant girl, Guantanamo, Cuban woman.” It sounds a lot better in Spanish, doesn’t it?”

4) Guajira sounds a lot like “tequila.”

5) Guantanamera sounds a lot like “one-ton tomato.”

6) So the whole phrase seems to be “One-ton tomato, tequila, one ton tomato.”

7) Perhaps that is part of the original lyrics and the musically awkward refrain of “Guantamo, Cuban woman, peasant girl, Guantanamo, Cuban woman” is the misheard version.

8) It has to be. I mean if you’re a peasant farmer from Guantanamo, or any place for that matter, wouldn’t you want to grow a one-ton tomato? I know I would.

9) This desire to grow a huge, money-making tomato would naturally manifest in peasant song as any culinary psychologist would tell you.

10) This need to produce the world’s biggest tomato would find voice while drinking hard, native liquour. Hence, the inclusion of the word tequila.

11) Tequila is the muse of many of the world’s greatest songwriters.

12) Tequila is the muse of many horrible neighborhood singers. These cauterwaulers sometimes get shot. Hence the phrase, a shot of tequila.

13) So how did “One-ton tomato, tequila, one ton tomato” get corrupted into “Guantanamera, guajira, guantanamera?”

14) Simple, on Valentine’s Day, 1958, the beguiling, Juanita Albondigas sashayed by the handsome Pablo Desayuno. “Hola, Señor.” She batted her eyes. “Are you singing about me?”

Pablo, plastered enough to sing about a humongous fruit often miscalled a vegetable was sober enough to realize that a hot chiquita was hitting on him. “Ho, ho, I am indeed singing about you. You are the Guanatanamoan peasant girl of this song.”

Juanita’s peasant garb fell to the ground. The besotted Pablo fell to the ground as well. Choruses of “Ai, ai, ai” filled the air. A month later, they got married and set immediately to growing the first one-ton tomato. In early 1959, they produced the world’s first nineteen pound tomato. This incredible feat garnered them the cover story of the prestigious, “Tomato World.”

15) Juanita and Pedro became so involved in their efforts, they scarcely noticed the Cuban Revolution of 1959, the Cuban Missile Crisis of 1962, and the Justin Bieber phenomenon of 2009.

16) Tomato enthusiasts report that the Desayunos are currently growing 983-pound tomatoes. The worthy farmers are growing old. They will very soon be turning over their quest to their many children and grandchildren. I wish them well.

– Chef Paul

LutheranCookbook

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, are available in paperback or Kindle on amazon.com

The cookbook is also available as an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Cuban Ropa Vieja

Cuban Entree

ROPA VIEJA

INGREDIENTSRopaVieja-

2 pounds flank steak
½ teaspoon salt
1 Roma tomato (1 additional later)
1 large onion
1 green bell pepper
3 garlic cloves
1 Roma tomato
3 tablespoons olive oil
¼ teaspoon pepper
½ cup red wine

Makes 4 bowls. Takes 2 hours 15 minutes.

PREPARATION

Add flank steak, and salt to large pot. Add enough water to cover steak with 2″ to spare. Bring to boil using high heat. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 2 hours or until steak shreds easily. Keep adding water as necessary to keep steak covered. Remove steak. Reserve 1 cup of the water from the pot. Shred the beef using two forks.

While steak simmers, puree 1 Roma tomato. Seed bell pepper. Mince onion. Dice bell pepper, garlic cloves, and 1 Roma tomato. Add oil, onion, and bell pepper to skillet. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion and bell pepper soften. Stir frequently. Add pepper, garlic, pureed tomato, diced tomato. Reduce heat to low-medium and simmer for 5 minutes. Stir occasionally. Add shredded steak. Add wine and 1 cup water reserved from boiling the steak. Continue simmering at low-medium heat for 8 minutes or until well blended. Stir occasionally.

TIDBITS

1) Most of today’s younger folks have no idea how difficult it is to make ropa viejas, assuming incorrectly that it just shows up on their dinner plates. Nooo! It’s far more complicated than that. The feral flank steak only inhabits certain supermarkets. You’ll need to go online and hire a reputable safari guide if you wish to bring down this cut of meat.

3) And goodness sake, respect the defenses your ingredients have built up after years of human contact. The vicious onion will make your eyes hurt when you slice it. You hurt it. It hurts you. Best way to cut onions is under water. Do you have good scuba gear? The tomato stains your shirts whenever you cut it. This is a reflex action on its part, no thinking is involved. The only known defense against an enraged tomato is to wear red colored shirts.

3) Some ingredients are our friends, though. The friendly garlic bulb wards off blood-sucking vampires, which is good. Do your research. Pick ingredients wisely and be on guard.

– Chef Paul

LutheranCookbook

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, are available in paperback or Kindle on amazon.com

The cookbook is also available as an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I Invite Syria’s Assad Over For Dinner and Root Beers

RootBe1-

Bashar al-Assad, president and dictator of Syria is getting way too cranky and needs to step down. And if the only thing that’s making him cling so tenaciously to power is the lack of a good retirement dinner, I, the Powegian Chef, am hereby offering it to him at my humble home.

So, Bashar, do you like Greek cuisine? I have fresh grape leaves growing in my front yard. Or would you prefer a fine Cuban sandwich? I’ll leave the menu to you. Just let me know.

We could watch reruns of Gunsmoke after dinner. We have a fold-out sofa bed if you’d care to stay the night. For the first ten minutes of the next day we could visit the cultural sites of Poway, twenty if we’re lucky enough to see street repair.

My wife could expertly cut your hair. Just a trim, of course, your hair always looks great. And just how do you find time to go to barbers when you’re always so busy killing off your people? Some of those victims surely must be barbers and that means it’s even tougher to get that haircut-to-kill for look . Yep, it can’t be easy being a maniacal dictator. But I’m being uncharitable. We all have our faults. Me, I’m constantly losing my car keys.

But I digress. We were talking about dinner. Frankly, a person as odious as yourself deserves to be fed lutefisk. But in the spirit of live and let live, I’ll serve you any other meal you’d might want. We’ll even have ice cold root beers. If that doesn’t make you warm and fuzzy enough to call off your civil war, I don’t know what will. C’mon over Bashar!

– Paul De Lancey, concerned world citizen

4novels

Check out my latest novel, the Christmas thriller, Beneficial Murders. My books are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com, As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

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Cuban Arroz Con Pollo Recipe

Cuban Entree

ARROZ CON POLLO

INGREDIENTSArrozCP-

2 cups rice
3 chicken breasts or 2 pounds chicken parts
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1/4 teaspoon cumin
1/4 teaspoon oregano
1/4 teaspoon paprika
2 tablespoons olive oil
3 garlic cloves
1 medium onion
1 bay leaf
1/2 green bell pepper
1/2 red bell pepper
1/medium tomato
1 1/2 tablespoons lemon juice
2/3 cup white wine
2 cup chicken broth
1/2 teaspoon cilantro.

PREPARATION

Cook rice according to instructions on package.

While rice is cooking, cut chicken breasts into 1″ cubes. (If you are using parts such as chicken legs, leave them as they are.) Mince garlic and onion, Dice green and red bell peppers. Coat chicken with black pepper, cumin, oregano, and paprika. Puree tomato.

Add olive oil, garlic, and onion to frying pan. Sauté on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion turns soft. Add spice-coated chicken, bay leaf, green and red bell pepper, tomato, lemon juice, wine, and chicken broth. Bring to boil at high heat then reduce to low and simmer for 20-to-30 minutes or until chicken is cooked through. (You might have to cut off a bit and taste. Maybe taste a second piece, a third…)

Serve with rice in a bowl. Garnish with cilantro.

TIDBITS

1) Sugar was first made into cubes in Cuba. That’s why we call sugar “cubes.” Before cubes, sugar had always been scooped.

2) People would always ask, “One or two spoons?” when serving sugar with coffee.

3) Indeed, specialized spoons were made for sugar. The first major producer of sugar spoons was Krupp of Essen, Germany.

4) Krupp made a fortune off their sugar spoons. So much so they were able to enter the burgeoning armaments industry.

5) Germany bought so much artillery from Krupp in the 1900s that it started an arms race in Europe. The heavily armed nations of Europe inevitably went to war in 1914.

6) A scarred Germany resentful of the peace terms imposed by the victorious powers in 1918 seethed for revenge.

7) And so, World War II erupted in 1939. The years from 1939 to 1945 were a bummer.

8) The war alliance between The United States and the Soviet Union proved ephemeral. (Cool word, huh?) They soon constructed vast arsenals to intimidate each other.

9) Tensions between America and Russia lessened considerably in the 1990s when the countries’ presidents took the first step toward peace, The Lutefisk Ban treaty.

10) Or so I’ve heard.
cover

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World, is available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

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Hawaiian Hamburger From Forthcoming Cookbook

Hawaiian Entree

HAWAIIAN HAMBURGER

INGREDIENTSHawaiHB-

3/4 pound ground beef
1 egg
1 tablespoon brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon prepared mustard
1/2 medium onion
1/4 cup bread crumbs
1 tablespoon tomato sauce
1/2 cup pineapple juice

4 pineapple slices
4 hamburger buns

PREPARATION

Dice onion. Mix ground beef, egg, brown sugar, mustard, onion, bread crumbs, and tomato sauce by hand. Don’t say “ew” when doing so.

Make four patties. Brown both sides of each patty. Pour pineapple juice into pan. Cook at medium-high heat until all the meat in the patty turns color. (You can clip off a small section of a patty to look. After a few times, you’ll be an adept chef and know by looking at the meat’s outside or by a finely honed sense of how long things take to cook.)

Toast buns. Put patties in buns. Top each patty with a pineapple slice.

TIDBITS

1) Pineapples were a sign of hospitality in antebellum mansions. Many sea captains would return and put an apple atop on of the posts by the front gate. This meant that the man of the house was home and that you were welcome to visit the homestead.

2) However, it did not mean you would receive special hospitality from the lady of the mansion if you spent the night in a four poster topped with four wooden pineapples. Instead, finding those pineapples on your bed meant you had overstayed your welcome. The number of pineapples denoted the seriousness of the “please leave” message.

3) “Hawaiian” is one of the few English words with the letter sequence “aiia.”

4) If the first hamburger restaurant to have gone national had been from Hawaii, our favorite fast food restaurant might have been Nâwilliwili burgers.

5) This would have caused a national crisis as most word processors, including mine, don’t have the necessary foreign character of “a” with a straight line over it.

6) Would a national character crisis be bad for America? I don’t know, but the Cuban Missile Crisis of 1962 was pretty scary.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, recipes, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

I Again Invite Fidel Castro Over For Dinner

A year ago, I offered Fidel Castro a retirement dinner to celebrate stepping down  as the ruler of Cuba after about only 52 years. I, the Powegian Chef, offered it to him at my humble home. Did he RSVP? Heck no? So, I’m offering one last time. What about it Fidel? I offered President Obama a dinner at my home. He didn’t bother to reply either. What happened? I’m running against him on the Bacon & Chocolate Party. All polls that I follow show B&C’s popularity surging, carrying me into the White House in November. So I suggest your RSVP “yes.” After all biting into a sandwich with hidden lutefisk in it fills the eater with severe depression. Just saying.

So, Fidel, do you like Swedish cuisine? My grandmother was from Sweden and passed on a great, authentic recipe. Or would you prefer a fine Cuban sandwich, Cuban stuffed peppers? I’ll leave the menu to you. Just let me know.

We could watch reruns of Gunsmoke after dinner. Sorry, no post-prandial cigars at this home, but wouldn’t you really rather have a peanut-butter milkshake?

We have a fold-out sofa bed if you’d care to stay the night. For the first ten minutes of the next day we could visit the cultural sites of Poway, twenty if we’re lucky enough to see street repair.

And my wife could shave off your unruly beard. She’s really good.

C’mon over Fidel, we’ll treat you right.

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