Posts Tagged With: Costco

CHDCPI Says American Inflation is Zero Percent

Posted on December 21, 2022 by pauldelancey

The true inflation gauge

Economists squabble continually over how to measure inflation. Some argue that the Federal Reserve Bank uses inflation indexes that measure inflation as it had been months ago. This is like trying to drive by looking only at the traffic in the rear view mirror. Another bone of contention is what durable goods, foods, etc. to include in an accurate inflation index.

Ideally, we want to include items that everyone in the entire country uses. As exhaustive research shows there is only one such item.

The Costco(tm) hot dog combo.

It’s yummy and everyone buys it. So I am including it, and it alone, in my consumer price index (CPI.) I call my new CPI, the Costco Hot Dog Combo Price Index or CHDCPI.

Astoundingly enough, the CHDCPI demonstrates conclusively that America’s inflation rate has been ZERO percent for the entire year. Wow. Moreover American inflation has been ZERO PERCENT FOR EVERY YEAR since 1985. i

And if for some reason, your household budget stretches less and less every year, then you need to buy only Costco Hot Dog Combos every year. Make the switch and you’ll notice a big difference.

There.

I foresee a Nobel Prize in Economics in my very near future.

And now a sexy table of supporting evidence.

——–Annual               Total
——–Inflation             Inflation
Price   each year            Since 1985
1985   $1.50     0.00%     0.00%
1986   $1.50     0.00%     0.00%
1987   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
1988   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
1989   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
1990   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
1991   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
1992   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
1993   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
1994   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
1995   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
1996   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
1997   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
1998   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
1999   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2000   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2001   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2002   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2003   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2004   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2005   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2006   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2007   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2008   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2009   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2010   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2011   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2012   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2013   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2014   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2015   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2016   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2017   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2018   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2019   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2020   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2021   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%
2022   $1.50    0.00%      0.00%

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Copycat Costco Chicken Bake

Posted on July 7, 2022 by pauldelancey

American Entree

COPYCAT COSTCO(TM) CHICKEN BAKE

INGREDIENTS

6 ounces cooked bacon
¾ pound cooked chicken breast
2 tablespoons chives
2 stalks green onions
2 cups grated mozzarella
½ cup grated provolone
½ cup grated Parmesan cheese
½ cup creamy Caesar dressing
1 pound pizza dough
¼ cup creamy Caesar dressing (2 teaspoons at a time)
6 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese (1 tablespoon at a time)

SPECIAL UTENSILS

rolling pin
large baking sheet.
parchment paper

Takes 1 hour 15 minutes. Serves 6.

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Dice cooked bacon, cooked chicken breast, chives, and green onions. Divide pizza dough into 6 balls. Add bacon, chicken, chives, green onion, mozzarella, ½ cup Parmesan cheese, provolone, and ½ cup creamy Caesar dressing to large mixing bowl. Mix with hands or fork until well blended.

Roll each dough ball into a 9″ * 7″ rectangle. Add 1/6, about 1 cup, of the chicken/cheese mixture to the bottom middle of a dough rectangle. Smooth mixture over dough rectangle, leaving a ½” border. Fold in sides and roll up like a burrito. This is the bake log. Pinch ends of bake log closed. Gently press seam of bake log until closes. Repeat for each dough rectangle.

Place parchment paper on baking sheet. Place bake logs, seam side down on parchment paper. Brush each bake log with 2 teaspoons Caesar dressing. Sprinkle 1 tablespoon Parmesan cheese over each bake log. Bake at 425 degrees for 20 minutes or until tops turn golden brown.

TIDBITS

1) Naval submarines are called that because they have the same profile as a submarine sandwich. American submarines, at the start of WWII, used torpedo sandwiches to sink Japanese ships. These torpedoes faired poorly as did similarly shaped sandwiches such as the one is this recipe. Eventually the Navy turned to metallic torpedoes armed with explosive warheads to turn the tide in the Pacific.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Hell Is Walmart Or Costco At Christmas Eve

Posted on October 30, 2012 by pauldelancey

“These are the times that try men’s souls.”

– Thomas Paine

I’m convinced that Mr. Paine has a time machine and wrote those immortal words after trying to park and shop at WalMart and Costco on December 24. Indeed, you could go seamlessly from life on Earth to an eternity in Hell if you happen to die  while thrashing your way through the sea of Brownian motion that are their customers. You wouldn’t even notice the great passing over had occurred until you tried to leave the parking lot by a red imp with a tail and pitchfork.

Just as the use of land mines by armies is coming under greater and greater pressure by nearly every nation, so is the weekend deployment of Walmarts and Costcos in battle zones.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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