Posts Tagged With: De Lancey

Sale! Sale! Sale On Corporate Sponsorships For Bump Off Your Enemies Literary Event

Posted on March 13, 2013 by pauldelancey

I had previously stated that corporate sponsorships of the *Bump Off Your Enemies* literary events must be $100,000. However, with the economy’s recovery from the Great Recession being wobbly at best and companies spending their excess cash on investment we’ve received few, read zero, corporate sponsorships.

So for today only, corporate sponsorships for this great event can be had for the quite reasonable amount of $1.98.

Undertakers, this is a natural event to sponsor.

Join the *Bump Off Your Enemies* tsunami.

Authors Candace C. Bowen and Paul R. De Lancey invite you to fictionally “Bump Off” your enemies in 200 words or fewer.

Enemies do not have to be specific people. They can be types of people such as telemarketers or people who block aisles in supermarkets. Two winners will be crowned Kingpin/Queenpin. Winning entries with a short bio of the winners will be posted on Facebook, Paul De Lancey’s blogsite (www.pauldelancey.com), his website (www.lordsoffun.com), and Candace C. Bowen’s website (www.knightseries.com). Good Luck!

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: humor | Tags: authors, Bowen, Bump Off Your Enemies, Candace C. Bowen, corporate, De Lancey, Great Recession, investment, knightseries, lordsoffun, Paul R. De Lancey, sponsorships, supermarkets, telemarketers, tsunami | Leave a comment

Putting Our Dead-Beat Ghosts To Work

Posted on March 9, 2013 by pauldelancey

For too long American ghosts have been living the high life feasting on our psychic energy.

What do these ghosts give us in return? Nothing, and that’s bad for us living folks. And truly, subsisting on stealing our psychic energy has to be demoralizing to these ghosts who haven’t done an honest day’s work in their deaths.

Likewise, it’s time for us the living to get over our prejudice over hiring dead workers. Let’s face it, being dead is one of life’s truly enduring resume stains. Can you recall even one instance of a ghost getting a job over an able-bodied person. I though not.

But it needn’t be this way. There are many jobs that ghosts can do better than the living. Please consider:

1) Hiring ghosts as security guards. They’d scare the heck out of robbers and even if tempted wouldn’t be able to cart away your valuables.

2) Use them as night lights. Look at how the eyes of the young woman in this picture. See how they glow. Don’t you want a little bit of light when you need to visit the bathroom at 3 am?

3) They’d be great for the CIA. They can fly anywhere, pass through and spy on anyone without being seen.

4) They’d be superb scouts for our armed forces. Even if caught–and how would that happen–how could any enemy kill them?

5) They could periodically check inside our nuclear reactors for leaks. What could radiation do to them? Many ghosts already glow a bit.

6) Nighttime security. Living people hate working at night and by themselves. Ghosts love it.

Ghosts and people working together. It’s a win-win situation.

*****************************************************

Still time to enter the *Bump Off Your Enemies* Literary Event
Hosted by Candace C. Bowen and me, Paul R. De Lancey
https://www.facebook.com/events/501973503178459/

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: humor | Tags: America, American, armed forces, bathroom, Bump Off Your Enemies, Candace C. Bowen, CIA, De Lancey, dead, dead-beat, event, Facebook, ghosts, literary, nuclear reactors, Paul, psychic energy, radiation, robbers, security guards, spy, welfare, work | Leave a comment

Potato Chervil Soup Recipe

Posted on March 8, 2013 by pauldelancey

French Soup

POTATO CHERVIL SOUP

INGREDIENTS

3 medium brown potatoes
1/2 onion
1 medium carrot
3 tablespoons butter
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 1/4 cups vegetable broth
3/4 cup milk
2 teaspoons chervil
1/2 teaspoon French four spice (Muntok white pepper, nutmeg, ginger, powdered cloves)
1/4 teaspoon parsley

PREPARATION

Peel potatoes. Dice potato, onion, and carrot. Put potato, onion, butter, and olive oil in large pot. Sauté potato and onion on medium heat for about 10 minutes or until potato and onion begin to soften. Stir frequently.

Add diced carrot, vegetable broth, milk, chervil, French four spice, and parsley to the pot. Cook for 20 minutes. Start at medium heat reducing to low when soup starts to boil. Stir occasionally.

TIDBITS

1) People use chervil a lot more during the Lenten season than other times as it symbolizes new life and rebirth.

2) People often give up foods for Lent.

3) I always give up lutefisk.

4) Successfully.

5) During all the non-Lenten times as well.

4) I looked up fun facts for chervil on the internet. I found chervil improves the taste of radishes growing next to it.

5) Fun fact, you bet.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes, Uncategorized | Tags: butter, chervil, cloves, cookbook, De Lancey, France, French, ginger, internet, Kindle, Lent, Lenten, lutefisk, Muntok, Nook, nutmeg, olive oil, pepper, potato, radishes, rebirth, recipe, recipes, soup | Leave a comment

Herb Substitutions

Posted on March 7, 2013 by pauldelancey

HERB SUBSTITUTIONS

There comes a moment in every chef’s life when he or she simply doesn’t have every herb needed for that devastatingly delicious recipe and guests are arriving in 10 minutes and my gosh, oh my gosh. Fret not, simply consult the below list of herb substitutions and restore serenity to your life.

Basil – Italian seasoning, marjoram, oregano, thyme
Chervil – parsley, tarragon
Chive – green onion, leek, onion
Cilantro – chervil, parsley
Italian seasoning – basil, marjoram, oregano, parsley, red pepper (ground), rosemary, sage, savory, thyme
Mint – basil, marjoram, rosemary
Marjoram – basil, Italian seasoning, oregano, savory, thyme
Mustard, powder – horseradish powder, wasabi powder (1/4 times as much), prepared mustard (3 times as much)
Oregano – basil, Italian seasoning, marjoram, thyme
Parsley – basil, chervil, cilantro, Italian seasoning
Poultry seasoning – marjoram, rosemary, savory
Rosemary – Italian seasoning, poultry seasoning, thyme, tarragon
Sage – marjoram, poultry seasoning, rosemary, savory,
Savory – Italian seasoning, marjoram, poultry seasoning, sage, thyme
Tarragon – chervil, fennel seed, aniseed
Thyme – basil, Italian seasoning, marjoram, oregano, savory

According to my Webster’s New World Dictionary, an herb is, “any seed plant whose stem withers away to the ground after each season’s growth, as distinguished from a tree or shrub whose woody stem lives from year to year.”

Hot stuff, you betcha.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, Uncategorized | Tags: aniseed, basil, chef, chervil, cookbook, De Lancey, dictionary, fennel, herb, herb substitution, herbs, hot stuff, Italian, leek, marjoram, mint, mustard, onion, oregano, parsley, recipes, rosemary, sage, savoy, serenity, tarragon, thyme, wasabi, Webster's | Leave a comment

Spice Substitutions

Posted on March 6, 2013 by pauldelancey

SPICE SUBSTITUTIONS

Not everyone has 100 bottles and bags of spices and herbs. Not everyone wants to drive five miles to a grocery store just to get one spice, particularly if the contents in your pan are about to burn. Dear harried chefs, this spice substitution list is dedicated to you.

Allspice – Cassia, cinnamon, ginger, mace, nutmeg, cloves (ground)
Aniseed – fennel seed, anise extract (only a few drops)
Annato powder – turmeric
Cardamom – cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg
Cassia – allspice, cinnamon
Chili powder – cumin, hot pepper sauce, oregano
Cinnamon – allspice (use 1/4 as much), cassia, mace, nutmeg
Cloves, ground – allspice, cinnamon, nutmeg
Cumin – chili powder
Fennel seed – aniseed
Ginger – allspice, chili powder, cardamom, mace, nutmeg
Mace – allspice, cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg
Mustard, powder – horseradish powder, wasabi powder (1/4 times as much), prepared mustard (3 times as much)
Nutmeg – allspice, cardamom, ginger, mace
Saffron – Only a dash for color of: annato powder, turmeric
Turmeric – annato powder, mustard powder

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, humor, international, recipes | Tags: allspice, aniseed, annato, cardamom, cassia, chefs, chili, cinnamon, cookbook, cumin, De Lancey, fennel, ginger, grocery, herbs, mace, mustard, nutmeg, recipes, saffron, spice, spice substitutions, substitutions, turmeric | Leave a comment

Corned Beef Soup Recipe

Posted on March 4, 2013 by pauldelancey

Irish Entree

CORNED BEEF SOUP

INGREDIENTS

1 4-to-5 pound ready-to-cook corned beef brisket
6 russet potatoes
3 large carrots
1 large white onion
1/2 head cabbage
water
more water

SPECIALTY UTENSIL

crock pot

PREPARATION

At the crock pot’s low setting, the brisket can take 10-to-14 hours to become tender. The high setting will cut this time by about half.

Put ready-to-cook corned beef brisket in crock pot. Add water to crock pot until it covers the brisket. You may need to cut the brisket into smaller pieces depending on the size of your crock pot. Cook for 10-to-14, possibly overnight, or until brisket is tender.

Clean potatoes and carrots. Cut potatoes carrots, onions, and cabbages in slices no thicker than 1/2″ inch and add them to the crock pot. and vegetables. Add as much water as your crock pot will allow. Cook on low setting for about 2 hours or until vegetables are tender.

If you do not have enough water to make soup, boil more water in a separate pot. Combine ingredients from crock pot with hot water from pot in soup bowl. Alternatively, put leftovers from corned-beef meal in large soup. Add water to achieve desired thickness. Cook on high heat until soup boils then turn off heat. Stir occasionally. If people have been asking for 14 hours, “Is it ready, yet?” you can now say yes. Resist the temptation to clock them. You are a gracious host.

TIDBITS

1) This recipe uses lots of water.

2) Water is good for you. Your body needs it to live. You can go maybe three days without drinking water.

3) Water is also used for showering. You can go indefinitely without showering.

4) I wouldn’t recommend it though. You’ll probably lose your job and all future invitations to neighborhood weenie roasts.

5) And who could live without a weenie roast, especially since the invention of veggie hot dogs?

6) Don’t forget the therapeutic value of showers. Shower spray pounding on one’s shoulders washes away one’s tension and anger.

7) If you don’t release your tension and anger, you’re much more likely to bump someone off.

8) Water. Good for your body. Good for your outlook. Good for your criminal record.

– Chef Paul

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World, and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: beef, beef brisket, cabbage, carrots, cookbook, corned beef, corned beef soup, criminal record, De Lancey, Kindle, Nook, recipe, recipes, russet potatoes, therapeutic, veggie hot dogs, water, weenie roasts | Leave a comment

Corporate Sponsorship Minimum for Bump Off Your Enemies Literary Event

Posted on March 3, 2013 by pauldelancey

I just want all corporations clamoring to sponsor the *Bump Off Your Enemies* literary event to know we will turn down no sponsorship offers of $100,000 or more. Even lutefisk vendors.

Heads to Heinz. We have 57 people attending. What an incredible tie in for you company. You’re welcome.

Come join the *Bump Off Your Enemies* tsunami.

*Bump Off Your Enemies*

Authors Candace C. Bowen and Paul R. De Lancey invite you to fictionally “Bump Off” your enemies in 200 words or fewer.
Enemies do not have to be specific people. They can be types of people such as telemarketers or people who block aisles in supermarkets.
Two winners will be crowned Kingpin/Queenpin. Winning entries with a short bio of the winners will be posted on Facebook, Paul De Lancey’s blogsite (www.pauldelancey.com), his website (www.lordsoffun.com), and Candace C. Bowen’s website (www.knightseries.com). Good Luck!

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: book reviews and excerpts, humor | Tags: Bowen.Paul R. De Lancey, Bump Off Your Enemies, Candace C. Bowen, corporate sponsorship, De Lancey, Facebook, Heinz, knightseries, literary event, lordsoffun, lutefisk, supermarkets, telemarketers, tsunami | Leave a comment

Kugelis, Potato Pudding Recipe

Posted on March 2, 2013 by pauldelancey

Lithuanian Entree

KUGELIS
(Potato Pudding Recipe)

INGREDIENTS

5 pounds russet potatoes
12 ounces bacon
1 1/2 large white onions
1/4 cup butter
6 eggs
1/2 cup milk
1 12 ounce can evaporated milk
1 teaspoon sea salt
1/2 teaspoon white pepper
1/2 cup farina

SPECIAL UTENSILS

1 9″*13″ baking dish
or
2 8″*8″ baking dishes
or
127 1″*1″ baking dishes

Serves a lot of people. We’re talking about 7 pounds of rich food here.

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Peel potatoes. Grate or shred potatoes. (This is some debate about the authenticity of shredding potatoes for Kugelis. After noting how long it took to merely peel the potatoes, I fired up the trusty food processor and shredded away. Yep, I’m a rebel. Born to be Wild.)

Dice bacon. Shred onions. Put bacon, onions, and butter in frying pan. Cook on medium-high heat until bacon is done to your desired level of crispness and the onions soften. Stir frequently. Hold the pan at an angle away from you while stirring. You really want bacon splatter to head away from you.

Put eggs in large mixing bowl and beat the heck out of them. Add potato, bacon/onion sauté, milk, evaporated milk, salt, pepper, and farina. Mix thoroughly with spoon.

Bake in oven at 350 degrees for 1 hour 20 minutes or until golden brown on top. Remove baking dish from oven and let cool for 5 minutes before serving. Enjoy the national dish of Lithuania.

TIDBITS

1) Pepper is used in this recipe. It is a happening spice. Pepper was first widely used in India over two millennia ago. India is one of the world’s oldest civilizations One of every seven people in the world is Indian. India has lots of trains, great food, nuclear weapons, and customer-service reps. Okay, the last one is bad.

2) Pepper traded westward to ancient Egypt. Black peppercorns were found stuffed up the nose of the mummified body of Pharaoh Ramses II. Snorting, perhaps? Egypt was the dominant power in that region for hundreds of years. It’s chariots raced all over the countryside. Perhaps they wouldn’t have had to race all over if they had bothered to ask for directions, but you know men.

3) Some think Rome conquered great swaths of North Africa, Europe, and the Near East because the Romans were really cranky from constantly sneezing snorted pepper. The Roman Empire lasted so long because its subject were so down with the taste explosion pepper brought that they really didn’t mind constant taxation and civil wars.

4) Then around the 5th century AD, barbarians invaded and destroyed the Roman Empire for no good culinary reason. Lutefisk crazed Vikings pillaged everywhere. People stashed their pepper. The Vikings killed the stashers. Knowledge of pepper disappeared. The Dark Ages descended.

5) Around 13th century or so the Venetians started trade routes with India. Indian pepper once again flowed westward to Europe. Venice became the richest and mightiest city in Europe. Then they started making blinds and their economy tanked.

6) Portugal started the Great Age of Exploration. It sent fleets around Africa and to the Americas and sooner than you can say heteroskedasticity pepper graced the tables of people around the world.

7) Life’s been pretty good since then. Even the occasional global war was made tolerable by proper amounts of peppers in soldiers’ meals.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, international, recipes | Tags: Africa, America, bacon, chariots, cookbook, Dark Ages, De Lancey, Egypt, Europe, Great Age of Exploration, India, Kindle, kugelis, Lithuania, lutefisk, Near East, Nook, nuclear weapons, pepper, peppercons, Pharaoh Ramses, Portugal, potato, potato pudding, pudding, recipes, Roman empire, Rome, russet potatoes, snorting, Venetians, Venice, Vikings | Leave a comment

Irish Hamburgers Recipe

Posted on March 1, 2013 by pauldelancey

Irish Entree

IRISH HAMBURGERS

INGREDIENTS

1 4-to-5 pound ready-to-cook corned beef brisket
6 russet potatoes
3 large carrots
1 large white onion
1/2 head cabbage
water
6 hamburger buns

SPECIALTY UTENSIL

crock pot

PREPARATION

At the crock pot’s low setting, the brisket can take 10-to-14 hours to become tender. The high setting will cut this time by about half.

Clean potatoes and carrots. Cut potatoes carrots, onions, and cabbages in slices no thicker than 1/2″ inch and add them to the crock pot. and vegetables. Add water until it covers the brisket and vegetables. Cook on low setting for about 2 hours or until vegetables are tender.

So far, this has been a simplified, but still traditional meal of corned beef. But new culinary horizons beckon. Beef burgers beget beguilingly Irish burgers, beggorah.

Put a slice of corned beef from crock pot on bun. Top that with a slice of onion and cabbage also from the crock pot. Add a squiggle of mustard and complete with top bun. A Irish burger to be sure.

Use remaining ingredients in crock pot as a traditional corned beef meal or as in the next recipe, corned-beef soup.

TIDBITS

1) This recipe uses carrots. The world famous cartoon character Bugs Bunny loved carrots.

2) Bugs Bunny was named after one of his creators at Warner Bros. studio, Buggsy Hardaway.

3) Bugs Bunny was officially born on July 27, 1940 in a rabbit warren under Ebbets Field, home of the Dodgers, in Brooklyn. Although previous incarnations occurred in the late 1930s, his official cartoon debut occurred on that date in a cartoon feature called a “Wild Hare.”

4) Bugs went on to have a illustrious cartoon career starring in several beloved shorts and even a few movies. This patriotic bunny also squared off successfully against the nefarious German and Japanese leaders of World War II. Bugs even appeared in two-minute films designed to get Americans to buy war bonds.

5) It’s possible without Bugs Bunny’s buy-war bonds films America would not have had enough funds to prosecute the war against the Axis powers.

6) And indeed, America’s fighting men were grateful. Bugs Bunny was the official mascot of at least one air training school and two air squadrons.

7) Bugsy Siegel’s story is somewhat different. Born into the real world, Bugsy rose to prominence as a bootlegger and notorious co-founder of Murder, Inc. Switching to gambling, Bugsy founded the Flamingo Hotel in Las Vegas, Nevada. He was gunned down in 1947.

8) There you have it. One Bugsy has made the world laugh for decades and won a world war. The other Bugsy not so much.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, international, recipes | Tags: 160 Fun Recipes, air training school, Axis, beef brisket, bonds, Brooklyn, Buggys Hardaway, Bugs Bunny, Bugsy Siegel, buns, burgers, cabbage, carrots, cartoon feature, cookbook, De Lancey, Dodgers, Eat Me, Ebbets Field, entree, Flamingo Hotel, fun, German, hamburgers, Inc., Irish, Irish hamburgers, Japanese, Las Vegas, murder, Nevada, onion, recipe, recipes, russet potatoes, war bonds, Warner Bros., Warner Brothers, Wild Hare, World War II | Leave a comment

Chicken Provencale Recipe

Posted on February 28, 2013 by pauldelancey

French Entree

CHICKEN PROVENÇALE

INGREDIENTS

2 chicken breasts
2 teaspoons herbes de Provence
1/2 teaspoon mignonette pepper (Tellicherry black pepper, Muntok white pepper, coriander)
2 tablespoon olive oil
2 red bell peppers
1 green bell pepper
3 garlic cloves
1/2 cup white wine

SPECIALTY UTENSIL

kitchen mallet

Serves one wrestler in training for the Olympics, two people with regular appetites, and four guests who got into your private stash of Belgian truffles before even trying this lovingly prepared meal and are never getting invited again.

PREPARATION

Pound chicken breasts to a half-inch thickness. (Remembering the day’s swarm of rude drivers on your ride home helps immeasurably.) Cut chicken breasts into fourths. Coat chicken pieces with herbes de Provence and mignonette pepper. Cut bell peppers into strips about 1/2″ inch wide and 2″ long. Mince garlic cloves.

Put olive oil in frying pan. Add bell-pepper and garlic. Sauté on high heat for a minute or until olive oil boils. Stir frequently. Add white wine and chicken pieces.

Cover and reduce heat to low-medium for about 5 minutes or until chicken is cooked through. You can cut a piece in half. If the chicken is still pink inside, sauté everything a few minutes more. If both halves are all white, eat one half. It’s your kitchen.

TIDBITS

1) The Olympics first occurred in Ellis, Greece in 776 BC as a way to honor Zeus. Wrestling was perhaps the most popular event.

2) Contestants and trainers appeared nude partly to prevent women from surreptitiously participating.

3) The Olympics started to die out around 260 AD what with barbarians invading the Roman Empire and civil wars erupting every few weeks. In 391 Emperor Theodosius outlawed the games because they were pagan.

4) No summer Olympics, no chance for winter Olympics. No winter Olympics, no bobsledding. No bobsledding, no thriving winter tourist industry. No thriving winter tourist industry, no taxes for the government. No taxes, no money to fund an army for the Empire.

5) Indeed, quite soon after Theodosius’ decision, massive waves of barbarians assaulted the poorly defended Roman Empire, defeating it quite easily.

6) The death of the Roman Empire plunged Europe into the Dark Ages for about a thousand years. Way to go, Theodosius.

7) Today the Olympic Committee is considering dropping wrestling from the games claiming lack of interest.

8) Perhaps there would be more interest if we brought back nude wrestling.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, history, humor, international | Tags: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World, Belgian, bell peppers, black pepper, bobsledding, chicken, cookbook, corinader, Dark Ages, De Lancey, Eat Me, elis, fun, Greece, herbes, herbes de Provence, mignonette, Muntok, olive oil, Olympic Committee, Olympics, Provencale, Provence, recipe, recipes, Roman, Roman empire, summer Olympics, Tellicherry, Theodosius, tourist industry, truffles, white pepper, white wine, Winter Olympics, women, wrestling, Zeus | Leave a comment

Posts Tagged With: De Lancey

Sale! Sale! Sale On Corporate Sponsorships For Bump Off Your Enemies Literary Event

Putting Our Dead-Beat Ghosts To Work