recipes

Southwest Stuffed Bell Peppers – From Cookbook

Posted on June 23, 2012 by pauldelancey

American Entree

SOUTHWEST STUFFED BELL PEPPERS

INGREDIENTS

Ole.

1 green chile
5 green bell peppers
1/2 red onion
2 garlic cloves
1 cup pepper jack cheese
2 ounces Cotija cheese
1 1/2 pounds ground turkey
1/2 14.5 can diced tomatoes
4 teaspoons chili powder
1 teaspoon cornstarch
1 teaspoon cumin
1/2 teaspoon oregano
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
3/4 cup water
4 tablespoons sour cream
2 green onions
1/2 14.5 can diced tomatoes
3/4 cup water

PREPARATION

Remove seeds from green chile. Cut bell peppers in half lengthwise. Remove stem, white innards, and seed from green bell peppers. Dice green chile, red onion, garlic cloves, and green onion. Grate or shred pepper jack cheese and Cotija cheese.

In a large frying pan or skillet, cook the turkey, green chile, red onion, and garlic over medium-high heat until meat is no longer pink. Stir occasionally.

Add 1/2 of the diced tomatoes, chili powder, corn starch, cumin, oregano, cayenne, green onion, and 3/4 cup water. Bring to boil then reduce. Simmer uncovered for about 15 minutes. (No, this does not mean to get angry and cook in the nude. Sauces can splatter.)

Place as many bell-pepper halves in microwavable dish. (You’ll need a 3-to-4 quart dish if you want to use just one.) Add 3/4 cup water to dish. Cover and microwave on high for 7 to 8 minutes. (Microwaves vary in strength, so in general it’s best to heat for a short time, check the food and, if necessary, microwave some more.)

Pour any water out of the bell peppers. Fill each bell-pepper half to the top with ground-beef mixture. Put an equal amount of sour cream, remaining half of tomatoes, and cheese on bell peppers.

Serve to adoring guests.

TIDBITS

1) Bell peppers have recessive genes that prevent them from having capsaicin, the stuff that makes other peppers hot.

2) Red bell peppers are important in Portuguese cuisine.

3) In 1801 my great-great-great-grandfather Napoleon I directed an invasion of Portugal by French and Spanish troops.

4) In 1808, Napoleon I invaded Portugal again. Say what you will about his megalomania and the countless deaths he caused, he did possess an admirable work ethic.

5) Oh, and he invaded Spain as well in 1808, unleashing more bloody, unrestrained guerrilla warfare.

6) Strange to say, most Napoleonic historians fail utterly to mention how six years of conflict in that region affected red-bell-pepper production in Portugal.

7) It seems likely, though, that red-pepper planting and harvesting fell precipitously in previously culinarily happy Portugal.

8) One’s mind recoils at the thought of wary-weary Portuguese reduced to eating beef-and-red pepper sandwiches without red peppers.

9) Bad French emperor, no éclaire.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Recipe From My Cookbook – Guajillo Beef Tostada

Posted on June 17, 2012 by pauldelancey

Mexican Entree

GUAJILLO BEEF TOSTADA

INGREDIENTSGuajiBT-

4 dried guajillo chiles
1 cup water

2 garlic cloves
1 red bell pepper
2 stalks green onions
1/2 red onion
1/2 yellow onion

1/4 head lettuce

1 1/2 pounds ground beef
1 tablespoon cilantro
1/2 teaspoon coriander
1 1/2 teaspoon cumin
1/2 tablespoon lime juice
1 teaspoon Meat MagicTM spice
1 teaspoon oregano
1/4 teaspoon pepper

1 16 ounce can refried beans.
1/2 cup sour cream

8 toasted corn tortillas
1 cup shredded Four Mexican cheeses
1 cup salsa (optional)

UTENSILS

a lazy Susan, about 24-inch across, if one is lurking in your kitchen.

PREPARATION

Pull stems off guajillo chiles, leave the rest alone. Cook on medium heat in sauce pan for about 2 minutes until guajillo gives off a fragrant aroma. Place guajillo chiles in mixing bowl. Pour hot water to cover chiles. Let sit for 1 hour. Mince chiles. Dice red bell pepper, green onions, red onions and yellow onions.

Shred as much lettuce as you like. (You have nearly an hour. Or you could employ this time conjugating Portuguese verbs, always handy when dining in Portugal.)

Meanwhile back at the range, add refried beans and sour cream in pot. Mix Cook at medium heat for about 5 minutes until mixture is hot and creamy. Cover and simmer at low until chiles have sat for 1 hour.

Add to frying pan: ground beef, cilantro, coriander, cumin, guajillo chiles, lime juice, meat spice, oregano, and pepper. Cook for about 5 minutes or until meat completely turns color. (What color you ask? Turning brown is good. Orange means you magic “spice” was purchased at an alternative food store.)

Apportion refried beans equally on tostadas. Put similar amounts of beef/spice mix on top of beans. Crown tostadas with lettuce, grated cheese, and salsa. Arriba! Arriba!

TIDBITS

1) “Tostada” means “toasted” in Spanish.

2) As in toasted bread and not as in “He had six whiskeys. He’s toasted.”

3) People often toast each other by raising a glass of wine at one or more people and saying something mercifully short.

4) This practice arose when people in the 17th century flavored wine with spiced toast.

5) I strongly suspect it was the wine that made people pop up and make short speeches in public.

6) I mean, how often have you seen people make a speech at a dinner after eating cinnamon toast?

7) I don’t think Mexicans have ever flavored their wines with tostadas.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Papas A La Huancaina (Potatoes with Peruvian cheese sauce)

Posted on June 9, 2012 by pauldelancey

Peruvian Entree

PAPAS A LA HUANCAINA
(Potatoes with Peruvian cheese sauce)

INGREDIENTSPapasAL-

1/2 cup red onion
1 garlic clove
4 eggs
1 tablespoon peanut oil
2 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoon aji amarillo pepper
4 saltine crackers
1/3 cup Monterrey Jack cheese
2/3 cup Cotija cheese
1/2 cup sour cream
1/2 cup milk
1 tablespoon lime juice
3 tablespoons vegetable oil
1/4 teaspoon sugar
1/2 tablespoon turmeric
1/4 teaspoon sea salt
6 yellow or white potatoes
2 tablespoons parsley flakes
6 lettuce leaves

3 eggs

PREPARATION

Boil 6 potatoes for 35 to 40 minutes. Remove potatoes with tongs and let cool in cold water. (Remember there’s a reason for the saying, “Drop you like a hot potato.”) Peel all potatoes and cut in half lengthwise.

While potatoes are boiling, dice red onion. Mince garlic clove. Boil 4 eggs for 12 minutes. Peel eggs. Make amarillo paste by melting butter in frying pan, adding peanut oil, and amarillo pepper. Stir constantly until butter melts completely.

Put onion, garlic cloves, 4 eggs (leave 3 eggs for the final step.), amarillo paste, crackers, Monterrey Jack cheese, Cotija cheese, sour cream, milk, lime juice, vegetable oil, sugar, turmeric, and sea salt into blender. Puree all these ingredients until you get a creamy mixture.

Peel the remaining 3 hard-boiled eggs. Slice each egg into 4 pieces. Place a lettuce leaf on each of 6 plates. Top each leaf with 2 potato halves. Place an egg slice on top of each potato half. Pour the creamy mixture all over each potato half.

Serve and enjoy to people and telemarketers everywhere.

TIDBITS

1) Peru rocks the culinary world with over 300 varieties of potatoes.

2) Belgium has over 300 types of beer.

3) Coincidence? Perhaps.

4) Peru makes all sorts of tasty potato dishes to enjoy. Antarctica makes none. No nuclear missiles target either land mass.

5) Russia specializes in making vodka with potatoes. There are hundreds and hundreds of nuclear missiles pointed at Russia.

6) The connection between the threat of nuclear annihilation and potato cuisine is still unclear.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Gateau A La Fleur D’oranger (Orange Flower-Water Cake)

Posted on May 19, 2012 by pauldelancey

French Dessert

GÂTEAU Â LA FLEUR D’ORANGER

INGREDIENTS

1/2 teaspoon flour
1 teaspoon butter
1/2 teaspoon brown sugar

1 1/2 cups flour
2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt

2 large eggs
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup light brown sugar

1/2 cup unsalted butter
1 cup milk
1 1/4 teaspoons orange flower water

1/4 cup heavy whipping cream

UTENSIL

9-inch cake pan

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Sprinkle a 1/2 teaspoon of flour along the sides and bottom of cake pan. Do the same with a teaspoon of butter. Sprinkle 1/2 teaspoon brown sugar over the flour.

Put 1 1/2 cups flour, baking powder, and salt in first mixing bowl. Mix with whisk or fork.

In second mixing bowl, beat 2 eggs, but not so much they lose their dignity. Add sugar and brown sugar. Mix with whisk.
Melt 1/2 cup butter. Combine contents of second mixing bowl into first mixing bowl. Add melted butter, milk, and orange flower water. Mix with whisk or blender on cake setting. Pour entire contents into cake pan.

Put cake pan in preheated oven and cook for 35 to 40 minutes. Allow cake to cool before topping cake with whipping cream.

TIDBITS

1) Many American beers are 3% alcohol. A twelve-ounce can contains .36 ounces of alcohol.

2) Orange extract, a fair substitute, for orange flower water, is 79% alcohol. My two-ounce container contains 1.58 ounces of alcohol, the same as nearly 4.4 cans of beer.

3) I’m breaking out the orange-extract. Woo hoo! Party at my place!

4) “Honestly, officer, I only had a one-ounce bottle of orange extract.”

5) The officer rolls his eyes. “Like, I never heard that before.”

6) My Mexican vanilla extract is only 1.9% alcohol. This is why it isn’t as popular at Mexican parties.

8) Consumption of cough syrup soared during the Prohibition Era. Perhaps the alcoholic content of 50%, or more, of many them contributed to this surge.

9) Why didn’t Al Capone simply open orange-extract tasting centers? People would have gotten their alcohol and Chicago would have been spared a crime wave.

10) But I can’t picture him behind an apron.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Mothers’ Day Meal – Doro Wat, Ethiopian Chicken Stew

Posted on May 13, 2012 by pauldelancey

Ethiopian Entree

DORO WAT
(Chicken stew)

INGREDIENTSdorowat-

2 pounds chicken breast
1/4 cup lemon juice
1 teaspoon salt
4 garlic cloves
1 1/2 medium yellow onions
1 cup water
3 tablespoons butter
1/2 teaspoon allspice
3 tablespoons Berbere spice mix (See recipe for BERBERE SPICE MIX INGREDIENTS, if you can’t find the mix)
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/2 teaspoon coriander
1/2 teaspoon fenugreek
1 teaspoon ginger
1 tablespoon paprika
1 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons turmeric
1/4 cup red wine
6 eggs
2 Roma tomatoes
2 cups lettuce
6 pita breads

Goes well with injera, Ethiopian flat bread.

UTENSIL

Dutch oven

PREPARATION

Cut chicken into 1-inch cubes and put into mixing bowl. Add lemon juice and salt. Mix with hands until all chicken cubes are coated with juice and salt. Set aside for at least 10 minutes.
Dice onions and cloves.

Heat butter in Dutch oven on medium heat until melted for about a minute or until melted. Add garlic, onions, water, allspice, Berbere spice mix, cayenne pepper, coriander, fenugreek, ginger, paprika, salt, and turmeric. Cook on medium-high heat for about 5 minutes or until onions and garlic are tender. Add red wine and chicken. Mix with spoon.

Random happy face : )

Cover. Cook stew on low heat for about 60 minutes, or until chicken is tender, changed color inside, and you are so powerful hungry you find yourself drooling over the prospect of a lutefisk meal.

Meanwhile back at the range, boil 6 eggs. Remove eggs and let them cool. Peel eggs and cut each one into 4 slices. Cut 2 Roma tomatoes into about 8 slices each. (Cut 2 more tomatoes into slices if your significant other ate the first slices while you were preparing the rest of the meal.)

Shred enough lettuce to make 2 cups. (This is aerobic exercise. Take advantage of it. The Olympics will soon be reaching out to you.)

Put stew in pita pocket or fold pita bread. Add lettuce and tomato and egg slices. Pat yourself on the back. (Put down that hot spoon first.) Serve.

TIDBITS

1) Ethiopia is the birthplace of coffee.

2) Millions and millions of people in America drink coffee.

3) Many of them do so for coffee’s taste.

4) Pause and reflect.

5) Our entire economy would tank if we didn’t have coffee keeping our workers awake.

6) There would be a world-wide depression.

7) Thank goodness for Ethiopia.

8) Could we send them a nice beverage in return, like root beer?

9) Many Ethiopian women feed their menfolk with their fingers as a sign of love and devotion.

10) Presumably Ethiopian women could also serve their men beverages with their fingers as sign of “Hit the road, Jack.”

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Moroccan Yogurt Sauce From Forthcoming Cookbook, “Eat Me”

Posted on April 30, 2012 by pauldelancey

Moroccan Appetizer

MOROCCAN YOGURT SAUCE

INGREDIENTSMorocYo-

1/2 tablespoon whole cloves
1 medium red onion
2 garlic cloves
1/3 cup fresh dates
1 tablespoon olive oil
1/2 tablespoon cardamom
1 cup plain full fat or whole yogurt

UTENSIL

spice grinder

PREPARATION

Grind cloves in spice grinder. Dice red onion and garlic cloves. Remove seeds from dates. Chop dates. (This is not license to go Lizzie Borden.)

Cook on medium-high heat: olive oil, onion, garlic cloves, and cardamom until onion is tender. Add chopped dates. Cook for 1 minute. Put contents in mixing bowl and add yogurt. Mix with fork or whisk. Serve right away if used for kebabs. (Kebab is not a palindrome.) This is also a great bread dip.

TIDBITS

1) Dates are good for you! Dates help cure sore throats.

2) Dates help reduce the intoxicating effects of alcohol.

3) Unfortunately, most people who get intoxicated know little of dates’ beneficial properties.

4) I mean, how many times has a traffic cop pulled over a weaving driver only to hear, “But officer, I was on my way to buy some dates at the supermarket. Honestly, I was.”

5) Were dates stockpiled by Chicago’s gangsters in the 1920s? They could have been used to make alcohol like any food with sugar. And if the police raided the date warehouse, the criminals could have claimed they were there to help wipe out the latest sore throat epidemic to hit the city. Hard to say. No one talked. No one is talking. Best to let the subject drop.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Berbere Burgers From Cookbook, “Eat Me”

Posted on April 24, 2012 by pauldelancey

Moroccan Entree

BERBERE BURGERS

INGREDIENTSBerbeHB-

1/2 head lettuce
1 medium yellow onion
1 tablespoon Berbere spices (See recipe for BERBERE SPICE MIX INGREDIENTS, if you can’t find the mix)
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 tablespoon ground coriander
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
1 tablespoon parsley flakes
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1/2 teaspoon sea salt
1 1/2 pounds ground beef
8 buns or 16 multi-grain bread slices
1 cup grated Mozzarella cheese
no-stick spray

UTENSILS

electric skillet

spice grinder (To make your own Berbere spice mix.)

PREPARATION

Tear lettuce into bun-size pieces by hand. Peel and dice onion. Put Berbere spices, cayenne pepper, cinnamon, coriander, ginger, parsley, pepper, salt, and ground beef in mixing bowl. Pretend you’re making the mortar for the mighty Egyptian pyramids as you mix everything together with your hands. (Edible pyramids. What a concept.) Make 8 hamburger patties.

Use non-stick spray on frying pan. Put 4 patties in pan. Cook on medium-high heat for 2 to 3 minutes. Flip patties over and cook for another 2 to 3 minutes. Don’t squash the patties with your spatula. This forces the juices out of the patties. (I also don’t recommend flattening oranges with your spatula for a similar if not more spectacular reason.) Patties should have no pink remaining. Repeat to make 8 patties. Toast buns.

Put a patty on each bun bottom. Top with lettuce and cheese. Put bun top and, violà, you have a burger so tasty you’ll want to conquer all of North Africa just to bring this dish’s culinary greatness to all its peoples.

TIDBITS

1) Most world conquerors, such as Napoleon, Cortes, Alexander the Great, Genghis Khan, and Julius Caesar didn’t bring much culinary enlightenment to their defeated nations.

2) Pretty much just death by the thousands and enslavement.

3) What would it have hurt them to give their newly enslaved peoples a wondrous culinary novelty in compensation?

4) Oh sure, there are such things as Napoleons and Caesar salad.

5) But those military geniuses didn’t come up with them.

6) The Caesar salad was invented last century at Caesar’s hotel in Tijuana Mexico.

7) Indeed, it is also verifiable that Julius Caesar and all of the Julian-Claudian Emperors had nothing to do with the comedic brilliance of Sid Caesar.

8) Frederick the Great did encourage potato production in his Kingdom of Prussia, the precursor to modern Germany. The mighty tuber enabled Prussia to feed all its people even though its lands were repeatedly invaded by its enemies.

9) To this day, one may still buy French Fries in Germany.

10) Well done, Frederick.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Chicken Tortilla Soup From Cookbook

Posted on April 7, 2012 by pauldelancey

Mexican Soup

CHICKEN TORTILLA SOUP

INGREDIENTSChicToS-

1/2 jalapeno pepper
2 green onions
1 medium onion
1 garlic clove
1 red chile pepper (omit to make milder)
1/2 avocado
2 chicken breasts
4 corn tortillas
32 ounces chicken broth
2 tablespoons lime juice
1 14.5 ounce can diced tomatoes with juice
7 ounce can diced mild green chiles (4 ounces to be milder)
2 teaspoons cilantro
1/2 tsp ground black pepper
1/4 teaspoon oregano
1/2 teaspoon Poultry MagicTM spice
no-stick spray
1/2 cup shredded Four Mexican cheeses

PREPARATION

Mince jalapeno pepper, green onions, onion, garlic clove, and red chile pepper. Avocado should feel slightly soft when squeezed. Peel skin from avocado. Remove avocado pit. Cut avocado into 1/2-inch cubes. Shred chicken breasts with knife or food processor. (Why, oh why, does the innocent, harmless chicken get cooked so often for our meals? Because it tastes good, goes well with so many spices, veggies, and sauces. So fire up that processor. Rrr!) Cut tortillas into 1/2-inch wide strips. Cut each strip into three pieces.

Pour chicken broth into large sauce pan. Add jalapeno pepper, green onions, onion, garlic, red pepper, avocado, lime juice, diced tomatoes with juice, green chiles, cilantro, pepper, oregano, and poultry spice. Stir occasionally. Bring to a boil.

Add shredded chicken. Cook on medium heat for about 20 minutes or until chicken is done. Stir occasionally.

While soup is cooking, spray baking sheet with no-stick spray. Place strips on sheet. Bake at 350 degrees for 8 to 15 minutes until crispy and golden. (Note ovens vary wildly in cooking times, due to age or size. Toaster ovens can cook much faster than a large, old oven. Watch out.)

Pour soup into bowls. (Should make about 8 bowls.) Sprinkle grated Mexican cheese and tortilla strips equally over all bowls.)

This is tasty. As the chef you’re entitled to a nice cold cerveza or root beer. (And be thankful you’re not a chicken.)

TIDBITS

1) I once had this soup served to me in the smallest soup bowl I have ever seen.

2) May 5 is my birthday. It is also Cinco de Mayo. When I was little, I thought all Mexico celebrated my birthday. Such kindness made me happy.

3) I later found out it was a minor holiday in Mexico. Basically, in the 1860s the Mexicans beat the French in a battle this day.

4) Who caused this French invasion of Mexico? Napoleon III, who was related to Napoleon I, who is my great-great-great-grandfather.

5) I am not responsible for my ancestors’ attempts to conquer the world.

6) My family is responsible for the first ice-cream store in New London, Connecticut. I am rather proud of this.

7) Part of my family came from Sonora, Mexico.

8) We had a ranch in Sonora. We lost it in the Mexican Revolution. My aunts fled Pancho Villa. Boo, Pancho Villa, boo!

9) I wish I could go back in time and serve lutefisk to Señor Villa.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Tzatziki Sauce (Greek cucumber sauce) From Cookbook

Posted on April 3, 2012 by pauldelancey

Greek Appetizer

TZATZIKI SAUCE
(Greek cucumber sauce)

This usually goes with Greek gyros. It also goes well as a topping for hamburgers.

INGREDIENTS

8 ounces plain yogurt (fat, not low-fat; you might need to find this in the Greek section of the store)
1 medium cucumber
1/4 teaspoon, or dash black pepper
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon sugar
2 tablespoon dill weed
2 peeled garlic cloves
juice of 1/2 lemon or 1 tablespoon

ESSENTIAL COOKING EQUIPMENT

food chopper or processor
whisk

PREPARATION

Peel the skin off the cucumber. It is easier to peel off the skin if you cut the cucumber in half along its width. It is optional to remove the seeds from the cucumber. This, however, will make the sauce sweeter.

Peel the skin off the garlic cloves. Cut up the cucumber into about eight pieces. Put the cucumber and garlic into a food chopper or food processor. Blend, chop, and process away until mixture is almost liquid.

Put the yogurt and cucumber-garlic mix into bowl. Mix with a whisk. Use a hand-held blender if you feel the need for more power. (Don’t overdo it. Too much power will result in an exciting avant-garde tzatziki sauce mural on your kitchen walls.)

Add the salt and sugar. Mix. Put about 3/4 of the dill into the bowl. Taste the mixture. I’ve learned that dill weed varies in strength. Sometimes two tablespoons is just right. However, another spice company’s dill might taste stronger than you expected. It is better to put in too little dill initially and add more than to put in too much at first. If you put in too much dill, all you really can do is add more of everything else.

If you love this recipe, you will want to find a way to score cheap dill weed. Try the spice section of your local supermarket and see if they have dill weed in large, economy bags. If not, try an ethnic food market. Finally, try ordering online.

TIDBITS

1) Dill weed doesn’t seem to have an extensive or humorous history.

2) The inside of the humble cucumber is twenty degrees colder than its outside.

3) So, if you’re in Arizona in August and your air-conditioning fails, cut open a seven-foot tall cucumber and step inside.

4) Ulysses S. Grant’s meals often consisted only of cucumbers and coffee. He became our nation’s most successful Civil War general, one of our presidents, and a best-selling author.

5) I’m not promising any of those things will happen to you if you make this cucumber sauce. Just saying, that’s all.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Chicken Scallopini From Cookbook

Posted on March 31, 2012 by pauldelancey

Italian Entree

CHICKEN SCALLOPINI

INGREDIENTS

2 garlic cloves
2 chicken breasts
1/4 cup flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon sage
2 tablespoons butter
1/4 cup chicken broth
3 tablespoons water
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1 teaspoon drained capers
1 tablespoon flour
3/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1 teaspoon parsley

(Possibly 2 teaspoons more olive oil. See 3rd paragraph below.)

SPECIAL UTENSIL

cooking mallet

PREPARATION

Mince garlic cloves. Pound chicken breasts to 1/4-inch thickness with clean cooking mallet. If you don’t have such a cooking tool, try putting a few sheets of wax paper on top of the chicken and whack away with a blunt instrument. (And sing, “If I had a hammer, I’d make Chicken Scallopini…” But don’t let your guests hear this. They just might sneak away before the second verse.)

Combine flour, salt, pepper, and sage in mixing bowl. Coat the chicken breasts with this mixture. Cut each breast into three cutlets.

Put broth, water, lemon juice, capers, and flour in second mixing bowl. Mix sauce thoroughly.

Melt butter in no-stick frying pan. Cook on medium high and add olive oil. Place as many cutlets as possible into frying pan. Cook for up to 2 minutes on each side or until chicken turns completely white. Add 1 teaspoon olive oil to the pan each time you cook another batch of chicken cutlets. Remove chicken.

Pour broth/caper sauce into frying pan. Heat on medium high for 1 to 2 minutes or until sauce boils and thickens. Pour sauce over chicken cutlets. Sprinkle Parmesan and parsley over the chicken.

Serve dish to wildly applauding guests. (If they don’t applaud, you still have that mallet, don’t you?)

TIDBITS

1) I read that in 1969 America had 3 billion surplus eggs.

2) Where did they go?

3) Chickens can have four or five toes on each foot.

4) This is probably why you can’t find shoes to fit your chicken.

5) Chicken Little thought the sky was falling. Was this from a meteorite shower? Did Chicken Little collaborate with Sir Edmund Halley?

6) A chicken can live without a brain for a short time.

7) People cannot, contrary to what relatives might say.

8) It is illegal to eat chickens in Gainesville, Georgia without a fork.

9) Chickens can run at a speed of nine miles per hour. If you could get a chicken to run around a track for a mile, it could complete its task in 6 minutes 40 seconds.

10) In high school I could run the mile in 7 minutes 37 seconds. Thank goodness, that chicken in the next lane stopped to peck for worms.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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