Posts Tagged With: cucumber

Tzatziki Meatloaf

Greek Entree

TZATZIKI MEATLOAF

INGREDIENTS

⅔ cups plain yogurt (fat, not low-fat)
⅓ medium cucumber or ½ small or 1 tiny
¼ teaspoon black pepper
¼ teaspoon salt
¾ teaspoon sugar
4 teaspoons dill weed
1 garlic clove
2 teaspoon lemon juice
1½ pounds ground beef
3 large eggs
2 cups breadcrumbs
no-stick spray.

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Peel the skin off the cucumber. It is optional to remove the seeds from the cucumber. This step, however, will make the sauce sweeter.

Peel the skin off the garlic clove. Cut up the cucumber into about eight pieces. Put the cucumber and garlic into a food chopper or food processor. Blend, chop, and process away until mixture is almost liquid.

Put the yogurt and cucumber-garlic mix into bowl. Add the salt, sugar, dill weed, lemon juice, ground beef, eggs, and breadcrumbs. Get a nine-year old to thoroughly mix this with his hands. (If you don’t have such a child in your house, knock on neighbors’ doors until you find such a kid.)

Spray baking pan with no-stick spray. Pour delightful meat mixture into baking pan. Put baking pan in oven. Bake at 350 degrees for 40 minutes or until meat is no longer pink.

Place slice of meatloaf on plate. Take a ladle and pour liquid from the baking pan on top of the meatloaf.

TIDBITS

1) My nine-year old son is listening to a Pokemon(tm) episode on the laptop while I’m trying to think up tidbits.

2) I’m not thinking well with this distraction.

3) There’s no Pokemon on the moon, is there?

4) Is that why astronaut Neil Armstrong landed there on July 20, 1969? Did American rocket scientists have a vision of America’s Pokemon future?

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Cucumber Yogurt Salad (salatet zabady bil ajur)

Sudanese Appetizer

CUCUMBER YOGURT SALAD
(Salatet Zabady bil Ajur)

INGREDIENTS

2 cucumbers
2 garlic cloves
1¾ cups plain yogurt
¼ teaspoon pepper
¼ teaspoon salt

Makes 6 bowls. Takes 1 hour 15 minutes

PREPARATION

Peel and dice cucumber. Mince garlic cloves. Add all ingredients to serving. Mix well with whisk. Cover and refrigerate for 1 hour.

TIDBITS

1) The modern-day submarine looks like a cucumber. Of course today’s subs, which can stay submerged for six months and carry enough nuclear missiles to reduce several cities to a glowing fog of atoms, are unarguably more destructive than even the most beserk cuke. The fact remains, however, that nuke rhyming with cuke is no accident.

2) The first military submarine, the Turtle (1775) was based on a turnip. It didn’t do much. Underwater, culinary warfare fell out of favor for twenty-french years. Fulton designed the Nautilus for the French in 1800. It never went to sea as the humidity of the vessel caused the crew’s bread to go moldy and war without fresh bread was unthinkable.

3) In 1864, the submarine, H.L. Hunley, of the Confederate Navy sank the North’s wooden warship, the Housatonic. This was the first successful sinking of a warship by a submarine. It was also the first successful sinking of a submarine as the Hunley was too close to its own exploding torpedo. Remarkably, no had imagined this occurrence. A month later, Rebel scientists hit upon the idea of simulating a submarine attack with cucumbers and matches. Unfortunately for the South, General Sherman had already begun his destructive march through Georgia. He had specific orders from President Lincoln himself to cripple Confederate submarine research by having his army destroy every cucumber it came across. Once the Union soldiers found how much fun came from fighting cucumbers than a grey coat who’d shoot back, they started uprooting and burning all crops. The South no longer had food to feed its armies. Surrender of all rebel forces followed soon.

4) But the Civil War was a near-run thing for the U.S.A. In 1866, Congress authorized the creation of the Cucumber Underseas Naval Department (CUND.) Over the years, research expanded to investigate undersea applications from all fruits and vegetables.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Uitsmijter (Dutch Ham and Egg Sandwich)

Dutch Entree

UITSMIJTER
(Ham and Egg Sandwich)

INGREDIENTS

1 teaspoon butter (1 additional tablespoon later)Uitsmijter-
2 slices white bread
1 tablespoon butter
2 eggs
4 slices or 4 ounces ham
2 ounces Gouda, Edam, or cheddar cheese
4 thinly sliced cucumber circles
dash of salt
dash of pepper

Makes 1 sandwich. Takes 10 minutes.

PREPARATION

Lightly toast bread. Smooth 1 teaspoon butter on butter slices. Add 1 tablespoon butter to pan. Melt butter using medium heat. Add 2 eggs. Cook eggs sunny-side up using medium to your desired level of doneness. (Dutch restaurants usually have the eggs be runny.) Add ham, cheese, egg yolk-side up, and cucumber circles to bottom slice of bread. Sprinkle pepper and salt to egg. Top with second slice of bread.

TIDBITS

1) Tired of square hotels rooms? Why not visit the Dutch city of the Hague? Bed down in your own orange escape pod for the night. Yes, get rocked to sleep as your round pod gently rocks in a canal. Or not so gently, if a speed boat zips by. These rooms come with all the bars and amenities that can be fitted in a space eight feet wide. If you want to feel like Captain Nemo or James Bond ejecting from a spacecraft with a beautiful Russian spy, this is the overnight stay for you.

2) It’s no surprise that the Netherlands designed bobbing pod hotels. It’s also the birthplace for the 85-foot tall yellow rubber ducky that is being towed around the world for its healing properties. We may even feel so good that world peace might break out. Indeed, the creator’s giant ducky has been successful, scarcely anyone recalls the giant rubber frogs and bunnies he created.

3) And speaking of toys, a Dutchman is launching an exciting, new website. It will be designed for bashful people who desired the latest in sex toys. Modest browsers will be relieved to know that the site will have no nudity or even bad language.

4) Then’s there that giant blue UFO that was photographed over the Netherland’s main government building. It just shows you how anything can happen in politics. Look for its return from the safety of your escape pod.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Greek Hamburgers

Greek Entree

GREEK HAMBURGER

INGREDIENTS

3/4 pounds ground beef
2 tablespoons feta cheese
1/4 teaspoon oregano
1/4 teaspoon parsley
1/8 teaspoon pepper
1/8 teaspoon salt
1 egg
1/3 cup bread crumbs

1/4 cucumber
1/4 cup mayonnaise
1/4 cup plain yogurt
1 garlic clove

4 hamburger buns

PREPARATION

Crumble the feta cheese. Mix beef, cheese, oregano, parsley, pepper, salt, egg, and bread crumbs. Make four patties. Cook on grill until meat is no longer pink.

Mince cucumber and garlic clove and add to yogurt and mayonnaise. Mix with whisk to make sauce.

Toast the hamburger buns. Put patties in buns. Top patties with sauce. Yum.

TIDBITS

1) As far as I know, Greek hamburgers might be an invention of Greek Americans.

2) Florida leads America in cucumber production.

3) Cucumbers are 95 percent water.

4) Feta is a bad word in Western Sweden.

5) Garlic gloves hung around the neck are supposed to ward off vampires. We have no vampires in Poway, California, so I don’t wear them.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Tzatziki Sauce

Greek Appetizer

TZATZIKI SAUCE
(Greek cucumber sauce)

This usually goes with Greek gyros. It also goes well as a topping for hamburgers.

INGREDIENTS

8 ounces plain yogurt (fat, not low-fat; you might need to find this in the Greek section of the store)
1 medium cucumber
1/4 teaspoon, or dash black pepper
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon sugar
2 tablespoon dill weed
2 peeled garlic cloves
juice of 1/2 lemon or 1 tablespoon

ESSENTIAL COOKING EQUIPMENT
food chopper or processor
whisk

PREPARATION

Peel the skin off the cucumber. It is easier to peel off the skin if you cut the cucumber in half along its width. It is optional to remove the seeds from the cucumber. This, however, will make the sauce sweeter.

Peel the skin off the garlic cloves. Cut up the cucumber into about eight pieces. Put the cucumber and garlic into a food chopper or food processor. Blend, chop, and process away until mixture is almost liquid.

Put the yogurt and cucumber-garlic mix into bowl. Mix with a whisk. Use a hand-held blender if you feel the need for more power. (Don’t overdo it. Too much power will result in an exciting avant-garde tzatziki sauce mural on your kitchen walls.)

Add the salt, sugar, and lemon juice. Mix. Put about 3/4 of the dill into the bowl. Taste the mixture. I’ve learned that dill weed varies in strength. Sometimes two tablespoons is just right. However, another spice company’s dill might taste stronger than you expected. It is better to put in too little dill initially and add more than to put in too much at first. If you put in too much dill, all you really can do is add more of everything else.

If you love this recipe, you will want to find a way to score cheap dill weed. Try the spice section of your local supermarket and see if they have dill weed in large, economy bags. If not, try an ethnic food market. Finally, try ordering online.

TIDBITS

1) Dill weed doesn’t seem to have an extensive or humorous history.

2) The inside of the humble cucumber is twenty degrees colder than its outside.

3) So, if you’re in Arizona in August and your air-conditioning fails, cut open a seven-foot tall cucumber and step inside.

4) Ulysses G. Grant’s meals often consisted only of cucumbers and coffee. He became our nation’s most successful Civil War general, one of our presidents, and a best-selling author.

5) I’m not promising any of those things will happen to you if you make this cucumber sauce. Just saying, that’s all.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Tzatziki Sauce (Greek cucumber sauce) From Cookbook

Greek Appetizer

TZATZIKI SAUCE
(Greek cucumber sauce)

This usually goes with Greek gyros. It also goes well as a topping for hamburgers.

INGREDIENTS

8 ounces plain yogurt (fat, not low-fat; you might need to find this in the Greek section of the store)
1 medium cucumber
1/4 teaspoon, or dash black pepper
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon sugar
2 tablespoon dill weed
2 peeled garlic cloves
juice of 1/2 lemon or 1 tablespoon

ESSENTIAL COOKING EQUIPMENT

food chopper or processor
whisk

PREPARATION

Peel the skin off the cucumber. It is easier to peel off the skin if you cut the cucumber in half along its width. It is optional to remove the seeds from the cucumber. This, however, will make the sauce sweeter.

Peel the skin off the garlic cloves. Cut up the cucumber into about eight pieces. Put the cucumber and garlic into a food chopper or food processor. Blend, chop, and process away until mixture is almost liquid.

Put the yogurt and cucumber-garlic mix into bowl. Mix with a whisk. Use a hand-held blender if you feel the need for more power. (Don’t overdo it. Too much power will result in an exciting avant-garde tzatziki sauce mural on your kitchen walls.)

Add the salt and sugar. Mix. Put about 3/4 of the dill into the bowl. Taste the mixture. I’ve learned that dill weed varies in strength. Sometimes two tablespoons is just right. However, another spice company’s dill might taste stronger than you expected. It is better to put in too little dill initially and add more than to put in too much at first. If you put in too much dill, all you really can do is add more of everything else.

If you love this recipe, you will want to find a way to score cheap dill weed. Try the spice section of your local supermarket and see if they have dill weed in large, economy bags. If not, try an ethnic food market. Finally, try ordering online.

TIDBITS

1) Dill weed doesn’t seem to have an extensive or humorous history.

2) The inside of the humble cucumber is twenty degrees colder than its outside.

3) So, if you’re in Arizona in August and your air-conditioning fails, cut open a seven-foot tall cucumber and step inside.

4) Ulysses S. Grant’s meals often consisted only of cucumbers and coffee. He became our nation’s most successful Civil War general, one of our presidents, and a best-selling author.

5) I’m not promising any of those things will happen to you if you make this cucumber sauce. Just saying, that’s all.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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