Posts Tagged With: women

My Favorites for the World Cup Semifinals

Posted on July 7, 2014 by pauldelancey

Brazil over Germany. I’m feeling very hemispheric right now. I’m also upset about the vicious tackle that took out a Brazilian star. I didn’t see it, but still. I just got reminded how West Germany and Austria effectively colluded in a World Cup match in 1982 to keep Algeria from advancing. Grr! Besides I like Brazilian food a lot more. BRA is the three letters internet reports use for Brazil or Brasil. Women wear bras. I like women. GER for Germany, is one letter away from being germ. Germs make us sick. Advantage, Brazil.

Netherlands over Argentina. I’m not feeling hemispheric loyalty anymore. Besides, I lived in the Netherlands and enjoyed it very much. My brother played soccer in the Netherlands for the American International School. No one in our family has even been to Argentina. Got to love those orange uniforms. The Dutch monarchy is descended from the House of Orange. A popular drink in the Netherlands is Oranjeboom, or Orange Tree. There’s also Dutch ovens. I love Dutch ovens. They make cooking so much easier. There’s no such item or beer, that I know off that has anything about Argentina in its name. Poffertjes is a great Dutch dessert. Sure, the Argentinian barbecue is great, but I’m in a mood for dessert. Oh, and hot air rises in Holland. A real estate agent once told my mother and I that. I have no such confirmation for Argentina.

– sports reporter, Paul De Lancey

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: Algeria, America International School, Argentina, Austria, barbecue, beer, Beneficial Murders, bra, Brasil, Brazil, cookbook, De Lancey, dessert, Dutch, fun, Germany, hemisphere, Holland, monarcy, Netherlands, orange, Oranjgeboom, Paul De Lancey, poffertjes, real estate, recipes, soccer, Western, women, World Cup | Leave a comment

Ground Beef Curry From South Africa

Posted on June 7, 2013 by pauldelancey

South African Entree

GROUND BEEF CURRY

INGREDIENTS

2 potatoes
1 yellow onion
1 red onion
2 cups fresh spinach
4 small tomatoes
4 cloves garlic
2 chile peppers
3 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 1/2 tablespoons fresh ginger
2 tablespoons curry powder
1/2 tablespoon turmeric
1 tablespoon garam masala
1 1/2 pounds ground beef

PREPARATION

Peel potatoes. Cut potatoes into cubes smaller than 1/2″. Peel and dice yellow onion. Peel and dice red onion. Dice spinach and tomatoes. Mince garlic and chile peppers. Add onion and vegetable oil to large pot. Sauté onions on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onions soften. Stir frequently. Add spinach, tomatoes, garlic, peppers, ginger, curry powder, turmeric, garam masala, and ground beef.

Cook for 5-to-10 minutes on medium heat or until beef browns. Add potato cubes. Reduce heat to low and simmer for about 30 minutes or until potatoes are soft. Stir occasionally.

Goes well with rice or Indian bread such as roti. The Guyanese version of roti is in this cookbook.

TIDBITS

1) Recipes for meat in a spicy sauce date back 3,700 years to Babylonia. Recipes were kept on clay tablets. Carrying around a hundred recipes would have required a wheelbarrow.

2) Did ancient Babylonia possess wheelbarrows? If not, that would explain why the Babylonian empire fell to invaders. The population was too busy carrying clay recipe tablets in their arms to defend themselves.

3) Two-third of all food eaten at restaurants in Britain is Indian. Wow. There are more Indian restaurants in London than in Bombay and New Delhi.

4) People will begin to crave for curry because the spices arouse and stimulate the taste buds. Sorry, people that’s all curry arouses.

5) In America, many more women appreciate a box of chocolates from their date than a bowl of curry particularly if the bowl has no lid and she’s holding it on her lap and your take the corner really fast or you accelerate really fast and the curry gets all over her dress and she kicks you out of the car and you have to walk home even though it’s your car and you never see her or your car again.

6) No, guys, it’s a much better idea to give your date a bouquet of flowers and box of chocolates and take her out to an Indian restaurant, for goodness sake.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: Babylonia, beef, Bombay, Britain, chile peppers, chocolate, cookbook, curry, De Lancey, entree, flowers, garam, garlic, ginnger, ground beef, Guyanese, Indian, London, masala, New Delhi, onion, potatoes, recipes, roti, South Africa, spinach, tomatoes, turmeric, wheelbarrow, women | Leave a comment

Simple Hawaiian Pancakes Recipe

Posted on April 24, 2013 by pauldelancey

Hawaiian Entree

SIMPLE HAWAIIAN PANCAKES

INGREDIENTS

8 frozen waffles
4 tablespoons butter
1/3 cup sugar
3 tablespoons milk
1/2 cups pineapple juice
4 ounce can pineapple chunks

PREPARATION

Toast waffles according to instructions on package. Cut butter into 16 pats. Combine in mixing bowl: sugar, milk, and pineapple juice. Place equal amounts of butter and mixed juice and 2-to-4 pineapple chunks of each toasted waffle. Aloha!

TIDBITS

1) In 1869, women of Wyoming got the right to vote. The waffle iron was first patented in 1869. It was a good year.

2) One-hundred years later, the amazing New York Mets won their first World Series championship after years of last place finishes. Coincidence? I don’t think so.

3) The waffle began its illustrious culinary journey during the Middle Ages. The waffle! So if someone calls this era the Dark Ages, waggle your finger at the fool and say, “Nooooo!”

4) The waffle became so popular that bloody fights became common between waffle vendors seeking prime locations. So much so, that a King of France took off time from wars and mistresses to decree a minimum distance between the warring vendors.

5) It has been said the French Revolution started in 1789 in part by disgruntled vendors seeking to throw out royal enforcement of the waffle decrees.

6) America annexed Hawaii in 1898 to ensure a steady supply of pineapple chunks in juice for its burgeoning appetite for Hawaiian waffles. A drastic measure perhaps, but it is worthwhile to note America has never since been involved in any military conflict over foreign pineapples. The same cannot be said for oil.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: America, Dark Ages, France, French Revolution, Hawaii, Hawaiian, king, Mets, Middle Ages, New York, New York Mets, oil, recipe, right to vote, waffle iron, waffles, women, World Series, Wyoming | 2 Comments

Essequibo Chicken Recipe

Posted on April 22, 2013 by pauldelancey

Guyanese Entree

ESSEQUIBO CHICKEN

INGREDIENTS

2 chicken breasts
1 red bell pepper
4 garlic cloves
2 stalks green onion
1 medium onion
2 medium tomatoes
3 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 teaspoon sugar
1 bay leaf
1/4 teaspoon celery seed or celery salt
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1/2 teaspoon thyme
2 teaspoons cornstarch

Makes 4 bowls. Takes 40 minutes.

PREPARATION

Cut chicken into 1/2″ cubes. Seed bell pepper and cut it into strips 2″ long and 1/4″ wide. Mince garlic, green onion, and onion. Puree tomatoes.

Heat vegetable oil in saucepan at medium-high heat. Add sugar when bubbles start to form. Continue heating the mixture–it seems so wrong to say sauté sugar–for 30 seconds. Stir frequently. Add chicken cubes, green onion, onion, and garlic. Sauté at medium heat for 5 minutes. Stir occasionally. Add bell pepper, bay leaf, celery seed, black pepper, thyme, and tomato. Simmer on low heat for 20 minutes with the lid off. occasionally. Add in cornstarch. Stir. Serve. Enjoy.

Add in cornstarch. Stir. Serve. Enjoy.

TIDBITS

1) This recipe contains celery seed. Watch out because . . .

2) Ancient Romans believed celery to be a powerful aphrodisiac.

3) Modern scientists say celery contains androsterone. This pheromone, released by men’s sweat glands, attracts females.

4) Chocolate has been shown to make women happier.

5) Don’t reverse it guys and eat the chocolate while giving your date a bag of celery.

5) You spend more energy chewing celery than you get from eating it.

6) Celery rocks!

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, humor, international | Tags: ancient, androsterone, aphrodisiac, attracts females, bay leaf, celery, Chef Paul, chicken, chocolate, cookbook, De Lancey, energy, entree, Essequibo, green onion, Guyana, Guyanan, Guyanese, men, pepper, pheromone, recipe, recipes, Romans, sautée, sweat glands, thyme, tomatoes, women | Leave a comment

Chicken Provencale Recipe

Posted on February 28, 2013 by pauldelancey

French Entree

CHICKEN PROVENÇALE

INGREDIENTS

2 chicken breasts
2 teaspoons herbes de Provence
1/2 teaspoon mignonette pepper (Tellicherry black pepper, Muntok white pepper, coriander)
2 tablespoon olive oil
2 red bell peppers
1 green bell pepper
3 garlic cloves
1/2 cup white wine

SPECIALTY UTENSIL

kitchen mallet

Serves one wrestler in training for the Olympics, two people with regular appetites, and four guests who got into your private stash of Belgian truffles before even trying this lovingly prepared meal and are never getting invited again.

PREPARATION

Pound chicken breasts to a half-inch thickness. (Remembering the day’s swarm of rude drivers on your ride home helps immeasurably.) Cut chicken breasts into fourths. Coat chicken pieces with herbes de Provence and mignonette pepper. Cut bell peppers into strips about 1/2″ inch wide and 2″ long. Mince garlic cloves.

Put olive oil in frying pan. Add bell-pepper and garlic. Sauté on high heat for a minute or until olive oil boils. Stir frequently. Add white wine and chicken pieces.

Cover and reduce heat to low-medium for about 5 minutes or until chicken is cooked through. You can cut a piece in half. If the chicken is still pink inside, sauté everything a few minutes more. If both halves are all white, eat one half. It’s your kitchen.

TIDBITS

1) The Olympics first occurred in Ellis, Greece in 776 BC as a way to honor Zeus. Wrestling was perhaps the most popular event.

2) Contestants and trainers appeared nude partly to prevent women from surreptitiously participating.

3) The Olympics started to die out around 260 AD what with barbarians invading the Roman Empire and civil wars erupting every few weeks. In 391 Emperor Theodosius outlawed the games because they were pagan.

4) No summer Olympics, no chance for winter Olympics. No winter Olympics, no bobsledding. No bobsledding, no thriving winter tourist industry. No thriving winter tourist industry, no taxes for the government. No taxes, no money to fund an army for the Empire.

5) Indeed, quite soon after Theodosius’ decision, massive waves of barbarians assaulted the poorly defended Roman Empire, defeating it quite easily.

6) The death of the Roman Empire plunged Europe into the Dark Ages for about a thousand years. Way to go, Theodosius.

7) Today the Olympic Committee is considering dropping wrestling from the games claiming lack of interest.

8) Perhaps there would be more interest if we brought back nude wrestling.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, history, humor, international | Tags: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World, Belgian, bell peppers, black pepper, bobsledding, chicken, cookbook, corinader, Dark Ages, De Lancey, Eat Me, elis, fun, Greece, herbes, herbes de Provence, mignonette, Muntok, olive oil, Olympic Committee, Olympics, Provencale, Provence, recipe, recipes, Roman, Roman empire, summer Olympics, Tellicherry, Theodosius, tourist industry, truffles, white pepper, white wine, Winter Olympics, women, wrestling, Zeus | Leave a comment

Cashew Chicken

Posted on January 14, 2013 by pauldelancey

Chinese Entree

CASHEW CHICKEN

INGREDIENTS

4 boneless and skinless chicken breasts

MARINADE

2 teaspoons peanut oil
1/2 cup soy sauce
3 tablespoons chili powder
1/2 teaspoon ginger powder
1/2 cup honey
4 teaspoons corn starch
2 teaspoon malt vinegar

MAIN

2 cups cashews
1 stalk green onion

4 green bell peppers
1 medium white onion

3 teaspoons soy sauce
3/4 cup water
1/4 teaspoon white pepper
2 1/2 teaspoons sugar
2 1/2 malt vinegar
1/2 teaspoon sesame oil

1 cup rice

PREPARATION

MARINADE

Cut chicken breasts into 1-inch cubes. Place cubes in mixing bowl. Add soy sauce, chili powder, ginger powder, corn starch, and malt vinegar. Mix thoroughly with hands or until chicken cubes are completely coated with this mixture. Let marinate from 30 minutes to several hours, the longer the better. (That is if your stomach stimulated by the wonderful aroma received by your nose will let you.)

MAIN PART

While waiting for chicken to marinate, add cashews to saucepan and cover with water. Bring water to boil and simmer for about 6 minutes until cashews become soft. Remove pan from heat, drain water, and set softened cashews aside. Dice green onion.

Mince green bell peppers and white onion. Sauté bell peppers and onion in saucepan until onion become soft and clearer. Add in: marinade, soy sauce, water, white pepper, sugar, malt vinegar, and sesame oil. Heat on medium high until all the chicken cubes are no longer pink inside. Determine the color by cutting a cube open. (Unless, of course, you are SupermanTM and have x-ray vision.) Stir frequently.

While chicken is cooking, prepare rice according to instructions shown on bag. Combine chicken cubes, marinade, green onion, and cashews. Serve on top of rice and enjoy.

TIDBITS

1) Ancient Babylon’s women ate sesame seeds and honey to prolong health and beauty.

2) Ancient Roman’s soldiers ate the same things to get strength and energy.

3) I wonder how many times the sesame seed/oil mixture gave beauty to the Roman soldiers and strength to Babylonian women. I mean sesame seeds and oil aren’t smart at all. I could very see how these inanimate objects could confuse these two missions.

4) Danged ants keep running across my keyboard. What do they expect to find here? There’s no food here. Stupid ants.

5) Great! Now, I’ve lost my train of thought. Stupid ants.

6) I wish I could make a deal with them. Stay out of my house forever and I’ll dump every morsel of food that doesn’t get cooked–such as fat, yum–-or eaten.

7) But ants aren’t that smart. That’s why they sometimes crawl over my keyboard looking for food. Stupid ants. Whap! One fewer ant. One fewer ant for Paul’s office, one great victory for picnickers everywhere.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, international, recipes, Uncategorized | Tags: Amazon, ants, Bablyon, breasts, cashew, cashew chicken, chicken, chili, China, Chinese, cookbook, Eat Me, entree, ginger, green onion, Kindle, Paul, picnickers, rice, Roman, sesame, soldiers, soy, women | Leave a comment

Posts Tagged With: women

My Favorites for the World Cup Semifinals