Posts Tagged With: TV

Corned Beef Cakes

Sierra Leonean Entree

CORNED BEEF CAKES

INGREDIENTS

1 pound potatoes or yams
1 teaspoon salt (1 teaspoon more later)
1 small onion
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 teaspoon parsley
1 teaspoon pepper
1 12-ounce can corned beef
1 egg (1 more egg later)
3 tablespoons milk
1½ cups bread crumbs
1 egg
6 tablespoons peanut oil or vegetable oil (2 tablespoons per batch)

Makes 12 cakes. Takes 1 hour 10 minutes.

PREPARATION

Peel potatoes. Cut each potato into 4 pieces. Add potato pieces to large pot. Add 1 teaspoon salt and enough water to cover potato pieces. Bring water to boil using high heat. Boil for 15 minutes or until potato pieces are soft. While potato bits boil, dice onion. Remove pot from heat. Drain water. Mash potatoes with potato masher or fork. Add onion, 1 teaspoon salt, cayenne pepper, parsley, pepper, and corned beef. Mix with whisk until well blended.

Add 1 egg to small bowl. Beat with whisk or fork. Add milk. Mix with whisk until well blended. Add egg/milk mixture and corned beef/mashed potato mixture to large mixing bowl. Mix with hands until well blended. Make 12 patties.

Add bread crumbs to a 3rd bowl. Add 1 egg to a 4th bowl. Beat egg with whisk or fork. Add patty to bowl with egg. Coat both sides of patty with egg. Add egg-coated patty to bowl with bread crumbs. Dredge patty through bread crumbs until patty is completely covered. Repeat for remaining patties.

Add 2 tablespoons peanut oil to pan per batch. Heat oil using medium-high heat. Oil is hot enough when a breadcrumb added to the oil starts to dance. Carefully add 4 bread coated patties to the hot oil. Sauté patties for 1 minute using medium-high heat or until patties start to blacken on the bottom. Carefully flip patties over; they can be crumbly. Sauté for 1 minute more or until the new bottom side of the patties start to blacken. Remove patties from heat. Drain on paper towels. Repeat for remaining batches.

TIDBITS

1) The continents and other bits of land are constantly in motion.

2) Does this mean you’re going to get whiplash just by sitting in a chair watching TV in the den? Or will your television suddenly separate from the rest of the den and rapidly recede into the distance? And what about the giant chasm between you and the TV?

3) What if you are near sighted and suddenly your program “FriendsTM” is on a screen 100 yards away and you need to get your glasses and they are in your bedroom which is on the other side of a 100-yard-wide chasm and although you were a crackerjack long jumper in college and could leap 26 feet, you still know that your longest jump is still 274 feetshort of the width of the chasm and you are so distraught that you’ve just composed your longest run-on sentence ever?

4) What if you’re on the famous pier in Santa Monica and California’s entire coast falls separates from the rest of the continent and plunges into the ocean and you can’t help wondering if you had locked the front door or not?

5) What if you’re driving on a country road and all of a sudden the ground beneath you lurches forward so much so that you exceed the speed limit by 200 mph? A traffic cop pulls you over. You tell the officer, “The movement of the Earth’s crust made me go this fast”. The cop shakes his head. “Like I haven’t heard that one before.”

6) Well fret not, dear friend, the previous four tidbits are currently quite unlikely. The Earth’s plates currently move at a rate of about ¼” a year.

7) How long would it take for your television to move 100 feet away?

8) 400 years. The sitcom “Friends” would be over by then.

9) Let me further calm you down. Your TV and your chair are almost certainly on the same Earth plate. So now matter where your huge bit of the planet moves, you always be the same distance away from your show. You’ll not need to get your classes. Any 100-foot chasm. will be dozens of miles away.

10) So how do we know all this? How did the study of plate tectonics come about?

11) In 1946, Kadie Mansara of Makeni, Sierra Leone, served this entree, Corned Beef Cakes, for her little boy, Patrick. Now Patrick liked to play with his food. His three corned beef cakes were originally all next to each other. However, the little scamp moved the corned beef all over the plate until they were positioned as shown in the above photograph. Ma Kaide gazed at the new configuration

13) She had an epiphany. Great sections of the Earth must move in the same way. We don’t see the movement, but it happens. Slow continental movement would explain mountains, earthquakes, even why the west coast of Africa looks like the east coast of South America. Mrs. Mansaray would go on to found the prestigious Sierra Leone Plate Tectonics Institute. 40 years later she received a Nobel Prize for her ground-breaking research. Now you know.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

My Favorite Serious TV Shows – Part One

These are the ones that first occurred to me. There should be many more. There is some greatness in TV land.

Alfred Hitchcock Presents
Bonanza
Borgias
Bletchley Circle
Cisco Kid
Columbo
David Letterman
Doctor Who
Edwardian Farm
Grand Tour
Gunsmoke
High Chaparral
Hill Street Blues
Kitchen Nightmares (UK version is a bit better than the US one.)
Last Week with John Oliver
Late Night with Conan O’Brien
Medici
Midsomer Murders
Monk
Myth Busters
Peter Gunn
Poirot
Rawhide
Rockford Files
Star Trek
Star Trek, Next Generation
Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson
Tudor Monastery Farm
Tudors
Twilight Zone
Upstairs, Downstairs
Versailles
Victorian Farm
Vikings
Whitechapel

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D., critic

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Favorite TV Shows | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

My Favorite Funny TV Shows – Part 2

These are more of my favorite funny TV Shows. I sure forgot a lot of them in the previous list. There are, doubtless, many funny shows I’ve never seen.

* = Shows that were side splitting and I would very much want to see more episodes.

There’s quite a few hilarious British TV shows. Unfortunately, the Brits don’t seem to make a lot of episodes.

Blandings*
Crackanory*
Doctor in the House
Family Guy
Friends
I Love Lucy
Jeeves and Wooster*
King of the Hill
Lucy Show
Mind Your Language*
My Living Doll
One Foot in the Grave
On the Buses
Roseanne
Thin Blue Line
Vicar of Dibley
Wodehouse Playhouse
Yes, Minister*
Yes, Prime Minister*
Young Ones
30 Rock

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D., critic

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: book reviews and excerpts, humor, international, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

My Favorite Funny TV Shows

 

These are my favorite TV Shows. I hope I didn’t forget any.

* = Shows that were hilarious and I would very much want to see more episodes. Alas, it’s not possible. These tend to be shows that produced only a few episodes a year.

I hope the below list is helpful and that you get as much enjoyment from them as I did.

Absolutely Fabulous
All in the Family
Barney Miller
Beverly Hillbillies
Big Bang Theory
Black Adder I-IV*
Blacks Books*
Bob Newhart Show
Cheers
Corner Gas*
Corner Gas (animated)*
Cosby Show
Dad’s Army*
Dick Van Dyke Show
Fawlty Towers*
Father Ted*
Frasier
Friday Night Dinner*
Get Smart*
Goes Wrong Show*
Home Improvement
Honeymooners
How I Met Your Mother – Skip the last two seasons
IT Crowd*
Malcom in the Middle
MASH
Miranda*
Monty Python’s Flying Circus
Mr. Bean*
My Name Is Earl*
Northern Exposure
Odd Couple
Parks and Recreation – Skip the last two seasons
Petticoat Junction
Psych
Red Dwarf
Sanford and Son
Seinfeld
Simpsons
Scrubs
Top Gear (First 20 seasons) Mostly a car show, but the presenters are quite funny.
Workaholics – Mostly hilarious, but a few are a bit mean.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D., critic

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: humor, observations, things to see and do | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

How to Solve TV Mysteries

Dear Reader,

I draw upon my many hours of watching TV mysteries such as Murder She Wrote and Midsomer Murders to give you my tips on solving the show’s murderer. Here they are:

1) The show will heavily suggest a murdered in the first few minutes after the murder. This person is never ever the murderer. Just isn’t. Nope, not ever. Filing for taxes will become easy and pleasurable before this happens.

2) Clues for the actual murderer usually takes place 60% of the way through the show.

3) You really have to be alert at this stage of the show. While in the first part of the program the detectives will say, “My gosh, this man has got to be the murderer,” they will never say anything like that when the real clue comes up.

4) The real clue will usually be in the form of the dastardly perpetrator saying something bizarre, not true, or out of character. This clue will not be picked up by the detective until the 80%-to-90% of the show.

5) The murderer will not be a short woman. A tall woman can pass for a man if seen in a coat at night and from a large distance. This is why I married a short woman.

6) The murderer NEVER EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER leaves town. They just wait for the law to pick them up at the 90% mark of the show. Oh sure, they might, in rare cases, get tickets to fly away. But they are singularly incapable of getting to the airport. Most of the time, however, people who buy airline tickets are the ones who get killed. So travel by train.

7) Here’s a drinking game guaranteed to get your drunk. You have to drink something every time someone says, “But I didn’t kill him.” Unfortunately, this utterance doesn’t provide any clues to the identity of the killer. Sorry.

8) The murderer is usually a neat type. While the actual murder itself might be gory and chaotic, his home will be neat, be it ever so humble.

9) The murderer is often rich. This is argument for raising taxes on the wealthy.

10) If someone in the show has an ancestor that was wronged a long time ago, perhaps even centuries, then he is a likely murderer.

11) If someone remotely suspicious has her name changed, then she is the murderer. So let your bride to be, keep her last name. Don’t even ask her to change it.

Happy solving, you TV detective, you.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Household Hacks for the Omni Impaired

turniton

Things are not as easy as they might seem. Everything is difficult. We all have our moments. Here is a list of blindingly simple hacks to enrich our lives. Excelsior, friends, excelsior!

1) To get your clothes much cleaner in less time, hit the button marked START as soon as you load the machine. Not 30 minutes later.

2) Nor 3 hours later. Turn this on

3) Nor 8 hours later.                                                                                      Turn the machine on.

4) Coffee makers will not work unless you add water.

5) Coffee makers will make hot water if you forget the coffee.

6) Hard boiled eggs will explode once all the water has boiled off.

7) Take out your cell phone before swimming.

8) The oven needs to be turned on to bake.

9) Turning it on also works with the dish washer, clothes washer, and the dryer.

10) Avoid milkdew, remove your clothes from the washer when they’re done.

11) And when you rewash, don’t let it sit there for a second night.

12) Pushing down the levers on the toaster helps enormously.

13) If ya toss your fitbit in there with your clothes, you get a great head start on your steps, but again, only if you turn on the machine.

14) Turn on the timer when there’s a timed-step in cooking.

15) It helps if you check the water level, too, and change it to X large instead of the X small load you did yesterday..

16) Baking chocolate marshmallows and forgetting them. Mother was not best pleased with this early foray into the culinary world.

17) Do not try to fill the dogs’ water bowl and watch TV at the same time unless you plan to mop the floor too.

18) Letting the food in the pot cool down so you can put it in the fridge and forgetting it until the next day is a bad idea.

19) Notice if you’re frying eggs using high heat.

20) Don’t defrost meat in the microwave and forget about it.

21) Put the milk back in the fridge.

22) Don’t confuse tablespoons with teaspoons when cooking.

23) Put a bucket underneath when you drain the toilet tank.

24) Check to see if the plug fell out before calling the repair man.

There, now you can do everything. Life is wonderful again.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Palaw (Pilaf) From Turkmenistan

Turkmen Entree

PALAW
(pilaf )

INGREDIENTSPalaw-

2 pounds steak (rib eye, round, or chuck)
3 medium yellow onions
6 large carrots
¾ cup vegetable oil
4 cups basmati rice
6½ cups water
2 tablespoons salt

Makes 12 bowls

SPECIAL UTENSIL

Dutch oven
Food processor for thin slicing

PREPARATION

Cut steak into 1″ cubes. Dice onions. Cut carrots into thin slices 3″ long. (A food processor that does thin slicing is a big help.)

Add beef cubes and oil to Dutch oven. Sauté beef for 10 minutes on medium-high heat or until beef starts to brown. Add onion and carrot. Sauté for 10 minutes or until onion and carrot soften. Stir occasionally.

Add rice, water, and salt. Raise heat to high and bring to boil. Reduce heat to low, cover, and simmer for 30-to-40 minutes. Stir three times. Be careful when stirring, especially if the food is near the top of the Dutch oven.

TIDBITS

1) This dish, palaw, is the inspiration for the hit TV show, PA Law. In this series, Detectives Donna Goreng and Ed Dejaj investigate rice crimes in the greater Philadelphia area. It’s not easy work for the bold and dedicated duo. The crimes are perpetrated by the Jell-O,TM Mold Militants, JMM!

2) Prior to 1970, every homemade dish was a Jell-O mold. These concoctions were often quite strange and offputting, like the tuna, oyster, Rocky Mountain oyster, bacon, peanut butter, sautéed eggplant and other science-fiction-like molds that graced the dining room table in that era.

3) Naturally, these molds made Americans cranky, resulting in many riots during the 1960s. Then we discovered palaw from Turkmenistan, hamburgers, and ice cream. Things calmed down something considerable. Except for the JMM. They hate our culinary freedoms.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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