Posts Tagged With: pandemic

Masks Also Prevent Colds

I’m stopping the spread of colds.

At the start of the Covid pandemic, many of us wore masks. I certainly did. I am getting up there in years and I have a weak immune system. So, I think I would be a goner if I caught Covid. So I wore a mask whenever I went out.

And then something wonderful happened. The mask stopped me from getting colds. With my weak immune system, I had never gone that long without coming down with the flu. I had never even made through a year without getting sick. Sometimes I would get a cold four, or so, times a year. And my colds often last two-to-three weeks.

Recently though, I had to spend time with people who were sick who don’t any precautions whatsover. I came down with a nasty cold. I once spent three hours coughing continuously. Not once every ten minutes, continuously. No, I coughed every five seconds, ten seconds if lucky. I remember thinking is this going to be the Big Cough?

Fortunately, it wasn’t. But now, I am going to wear a mask indoors if someone else is coughing or if I am coughing. No matter what anyone says.

That’s all for now. This blog will go back to food blogs and funny blogs tomorrow.

Thank you for your understanding.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Tourist Spots for the Extreme Introvert

People-free paradise

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You say you’re an introvert? You say you really hate crowds? You hate them more than lutefisk, filing taxes, and paper cuts? Are you oh so wary of catching a pandemic virus, or even a three-week cold? But you also like to travel?

I’m glad you spoke up. Here are the most beautiful, least tourist-ridden spots in the world. My rankings:

1. Naru

This island paradise gets only 200 tourists a year. Granted that’s 199 visitors a year more than you’d like, but you have to remember that you’ll be one of the 200. People don’t go there because it’s tiny, covering 8 squares miles. Although, this means you don’t have to go far for anything. The beaches are incredibly beautiful and uncrowded. Go there. Go there!

2. Tuvalu

This beautiful speck of land, hardly bigger than a burrito, manages to take in only 1,000 tourists a year. It would receive more visitors, but it’s so hard to get there; only a few sporadic flights connect it with Fiji. That’s great news for us. It keeps the riff raff away. Very few loud oafs infest the island oh so gorgeous beaches and the locals are so laid back that it’s quite easy and stress free to avoid them. Go there soon as global warning may drown this introverts’ paradise. Tuvalu would have easily gotten out number-one rankings if its annual mob of tourists hadn’t exceeded Nauru’s by 800.

3. Kiribati

Kiribati’s splendidly attractive. The life style is relaxed. The beaches are pristine and mostly uninfected by clamorous tourists. The gently swaying palm trees lull you into blissful tranquility. Unfortunately, the atoll-nation attracts 6,000 tourists per annum. That’s too many for us. We must regretfully assign a low ranking to Kiribato. Even so, you might want to go there once before rising water levels submerge the country forever. (The government actively considers relocation to other islands for its people.)

4. Montserrat

A huge volcanic eruption devastated this island in 1995. The southern half of the island was covered in ash and declared uninhabitable. The thriving musical culture got wiped out. So, fewer tourists came to once-island paradise. However, this will make a visit here more attractive. On the other hand, 7,000 clods visit the site every year. Fortunately, they tend to only clog up spots near the volcano. Apparently, people like to see towns and countrysides blanketed with ash. On the third hand, this strange behavior is a boon to us. We get the beautiful beach and wondrous scenery in the untouched north all to our selves.

5. Niue

This pretty little island is just the place for people-hating adventurers. It’s splendidly isolated from the world’s people-teeming nations. It’s beaches are few, small, and hard to get to. But how beach do you need when you’re by yourself, and at most, with one significant other? This little speck of lands is just the thing for divers. Nowhere else on Earth can you explore as many uncluttered underwater tunnels and caves. Supposedly, there’s internet connection all over the island. So if you must contact someone, you can do it at a blissful distance. However, 7,000 tourists manage to get there every year. So, Niue only manages to beat out Somalia and North Korea.

6. Somalia

This African nation is just the spot for tourist-hating travelers. Just 500 people visit the land’s beaches and haunting landscapes. Since, Somalia is a fairly big nation, this means the probability of running into any of the perhaps dozens of tourists there at any one time. On the other hand, it’s not much of a nation. The authority of the central government remains quite limited. The downsides to visiting Somalia are: political instability,  extremists running amok, and military coups. Still there are many forsaken, beautiful landscapes to behold if you’re willing to stock up and rent an all-terrain vehicle. Hey, it’s better than North Korea.

7. North Korea

You might be surprised that we included this country in our introverts’ must-see sites. This country steadfastly remains at the top-of-the-top list for its capricious, brutal dictatorship, rampant human rights violations, and annual food shortages. Paradoxically, these factors earn it a spot on our lists as these frankly horrible attributes keep the number of visitors down to 6,000. Oh and I forgot, you can’t go anywhere without a guide. If you talk to locals, the omnipresent police will kick you out of the country and possibly jail the local you spoke to. You should also assume your hotel room will be bugged.  There are no palatable restaurants. It’s airline, Air Koryo,  consistently wins the award for the world’s worst burger. It’s strange to say then that Air Koryo is North Korea’s primary attraction. There is simply no other airlines that give you a glimpse into what budget air travel was 70 years ago. Still, it’s hard to overcome the nation’s faults and the fact that you will be traveling in an airplane rife with tourists. We easily gave North Korea our worst rating. I mean, it’s like Somalia with 5,500 extra tourists. Brr!

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: international, things to see and do | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Fun Festivals – Wife Carrying Championships

 

The best way to carry the wife

Ronkainen, a legendary Finnish robber of the 1700s, had would-be gang members carry a heavy woman over an obstacle course to prove their strength. The annual wife-carrying championships in Sonkajaarvi, Finland derive from this test. Wife carrying is not an Olympic sport. However, synchronized swimming is.

Couples race around a track well stocked with obstacles such as logs and a deep pool. At one time, the woman in the event had to be the man’s wife, but neighboring women are allowed. The designated wife must weigh 49 kilograms or 108 pounds. You might think a good wife for this race would be as tiny as possible. But no, the winners earn the wife’s weight in beer. The wife must also be at least seventeen-years old. The entry fee as press time was 50 Euros.

Olympians and marathon runners compete alongside, amateurs, and strange couples on their honeymoons. This seems unfair, but in some respects, the Wife Carrying Championship remains a wide-open sport. And oh my gosh, in addition to the regular race, there is a relay race as well. Root heartily for you favorite team.

Add in the karaoke events, you’ll want to return time and time again. And not just to Finland. National championships exist in America, Britain, Germany, India, Hong Kong, and Australia. Surely, there must be a wife-carrying race near you.

Oh no, the 2021 championship was cancelled due to the Covid pandemic. Middle of next summer, then.

See you there

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D., travel guru

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: fun festivals | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I Will Become a Runway Model

I need something to pep up my life and I haven’t had much to do lately what with near retirement and the pandemic crimping my forays into the world of people. So, I have resolved to become a runway model. This goal might be seem farfetched. “Paul,” people will say, “runway models are women, young, super thin, and take heroin to stay super thin. You’re an overweight man, on Social Security, and your only drug is regular soda, which, if anything, adds to your weight.”

A bit harsh, but true. However, I would retort, “There are millions upon millions of overweight, retired men who wear clothes. Have you ever seen masses of feral, overweight masses of older, nude men in public?”

No, they have not. I shall give these sartorially forgotten men a voice. I will be their clothing icon. Keep tuned to my quest.

** In training for my new career. **

Dear readers, I would cheer me up to hear from you. Where are you from? What do you like to do? What’s your favorite local food? What would you like me to blog about? Thanks.

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

 

 

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

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