Posts Tagged With: printer

Marked Safe From His Printer

Everyone knows by now of my daily existential war with my printer. One day it may very well triumph. Police will find my body near my gloating printer.

But not today!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: Marked Safe From | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

You Need to See Two Chicks Cuddling

Russia may very well invade Ukraine quite soon. America’s politics remain frightening. Your printer achieved consciousness and took an instant dislike to you.

You need something to soothe your wearied soul. You need to see something that’ll make you smile, something heartwarming.

You need to see chicks cuddling and here they are.

We will make you smile.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: you need to see | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

My Backup Printer

My old Printer had achieved consciousness and taken an instant dislike to me. Now it’s dead. I ordered a new printer eight days ago. It got lost in transit. I ordered a second printer. This printer should arrive tomorrow. “But what about all those days you were without a printer?” I hear you say. Don’t worry, whenever my computer printer goes AWOL I fall back on my trusty 6921-2 PencilWriter(tm). Sure, it’s not as fancy as my old HP OfficeJet Pro 6978(tm). But it always works and possesses many clear advantages over computer printers as the picture below demonstrates.

6921-2 Pencil Writer

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Today’s To-Do List.

1) Buy a new printer, because the old rat bastard stopped working after I got ink for it.

2) Nudge the Earth back into its proper orbit. It’s starting to spiral into the Sun.

As you can see, I’ll be rather busy, so this post needs to be short.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: things to see and do | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Hitler Hates His Printer

The war is going badly.
His printer won’t work.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Click on the link below to hear video.

https://www.captiongenerator.com/2151827/Hitler-Hates-His-Printer?fbclid=IwAR14IgyONZnDyBZV0sAX2IPGJoTrC2OwzVCnXCNnUZ1os2stqVEnPTGFwYo#.YDhOGmAwZWk.facebook

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: humor, video | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

My Not-To-Do List

NotToDo1

This blog is directly inspired by the talented and hilarious Kathy Minicozzi who was in turn inspired by the renowned humorist David Sedaris.

Here are the things I resolve not to do today. Takes a deep breath. Lets it out. Okay Paul, you cannot do this.

1) I will not cook or eat lutefisk.

2) I will not foment revolution anywhere.

3) I will not lose a sock in the dryer.

4) Because I will not do clothes today.

5) I will not engage in the illicit fruitcake market.

6) I will not voluntarily upgrade any of my electronic devices.

7) I will not race to the be the first to reach the South Pole. I’ve already lost. It happened about a century ago. Why try?

8) I will not attack the weeds in my backyard with my weed whacker for another day. The tenuous truce still holds.

9) I will not sing at any karaoke bar. The whole world rejoices.

10) I will not befriend North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un on Facebook.

11) I will not say, “I love you,” to my printer.

– Paul R. De Lancey, great no-doer

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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