Posts Tagged With: cereal

Shorba Frik Soup From Tunisia

Tunisian Soup

SHORBA FRIK

INGREDIENTS

1 pound boneless chicken parts
1 celery stalk
1 garlic clove
1 medium onion
2 tomatoes
3½ tablespoons olive or vegetable oil
1 tablespoon paprika
¼ teaspoon pepper
1 tablespoon ras el hanout* spice mix
1 teaspoon salt
¼ cup tomato paste
⅓ cup canned chickpeas, drained
¾ cup cracked freekeh*, semolina flour, or spelt flour
3 tablespoons fresh cilantro

* = can be found online or at Middle-Eastern grocery stores.

Serves 8. Takes 1 hour 40 minutes.

PREPARATION

Cut chicken into ½” cubes. Dice celery, cilantro, garlic, onion, and tomatoes. Add olive oil, garlic, onion, paprika, pepper, ras el hanout, salt, and tomato paste to large pot. Sauté at medium heat for 4 minutes or until mixture becomes fragrant. Stir frequently.

Add chicken cubes. Sauté at medium heat for 5 minutes or until chicken cubes turn white on all sides. Add enough water 4 cups or until soup reaches your desired thickness. Add celery, chickpeas, freekeh, and tomato. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 1 hour or until chicken and freekeh are tender and soup has thickened. Be sure to stir enough to keep freekeh from sticking to the bottom. Dice cilantro. Garnish with cilantro.

TIDBITS

1) Culinary climatologists assert that the Roman Empire of 138 AD suffered through continual blizzards and freezing rains. AD. Indeed, all salads froze. Milk in cereal bowls also froze. Cereal would not be eaten again until Mr. Kellogg invented Corn FlakesTM in 1894.

2) Romans began to starve. They knew how to make chicken fricassee, but the poor couldn’t afford entire chickens. They desperately needed a way to stretch the little meat they had. Then the current emperor distributed the recipe for Shorba Frik. Romans now had a way to keep feed themselves. Grateful, anagramists, rearranged the letters in the life-saving Shorba Frik to give their adored emperor the new name Antonius Pius. Now you know.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

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Secrets of the Universe #2, Asteroids Are Cocoa Pebbles(tm)

Asteroid or Cocoa Pebble?

Yesterday’s blog proved that the Universe arose from an exploded egg. But maybe not. For cereal astrophysicists maintain just as vehemently that all galaxies derived from one giant cereal bowl. Of Cocoa Pebbles.

According to these plucky scientists, nothing happened until at 12am, January, 0 CBS (Cereal Bowl Spilling) the cereal bowl tipped over. Speculation runs rampant and tensions flare over how exactly the bowl tipped, but all cereal astrophysicists agree that it did. Out flew the Cocoa Pebbles. When they coalesced over billions of years through gravitational forces, they became solid planets like Earth and Mars. Whenever Cocoa Pebbles didn’t come together, they remained Coca-Pebbly Asteroids.

Milk from the cereal bowl expanded in all directions and in great amounts.  The Milky War formed from this very same milk. Gaseous giants such as Jupiter and Uranus formed from this milk as well. The Great Red Spot and other colors in Jupiter, however, derive from Fruity Pebbles(tm). The gassy giant Uranus is also a breakfast cereal. Did you know that NASA’s deep-space probes took photos of Uranus? Heh, heh.

All those stars in the night-sky are gigantic balls of milk that became so massive that their very own gravitational fields compressed the milk molecules to such an extent that they generated heat and lights. So, we are seeing milk rays that have traveled thousands of light years to get to us.

There you have it. Look at the photo to the right. Can you tell if it is a Cocoa Pebble or an asteroid? You can’t. They’re the same. Proof you cannot deny.

And every time you eat a spoonful of delicious Cocoa Pebbles, you’re devouring a building block of our universe. Heavens, space is tasty.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Secrets of the Universe | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Our Land’s Welfare Leeches

 turtles

The welfare system continues to spiral out of control. Millions and millions dollars of our tax dollars flow into the lazy mouths of these lazy bums who do little but sleep, eat, and make more lazy bums. A great many of these welfare kings and queens hail from other countries without even the most basic of IDs such as drivers’ licenses. Indeed they thumb their noses, metaphorically at least, at us, the taxpaying citizens of this great land. Who are these burdens to the American economy?

The creatures in our nation’s zoo. As the great philosopher Hobbes, or someone else, could have said, “There is an implicit social contract between our zoos and its critters. The zoo provides food and shelters. The animals therein provide entertainment by jumping up and down, running, chattering, and at the very least moving.”

But do our zoo’s animal do much moving? Heck no. They sleep, sleep, and sleep. Big whoop. The worst offenders are the koalas, turtles  and lions who sleep twenty hours a day and for whom the act of munching on their grub makes their little black hearts beat like jackrabbits. What will gets these sleeping bum off the their butts?

Speed? Well, no. It’s illegal, isn’t it? At least for people it is. And I, for one, don’t want any of the zoo’s purchasers going to jail.

But what about high-energy drinks? One of those little bottles gets a person whizzing about for about five hours. Imagine how long it would get a tiny koala going? Heck we might even get to see those koalas pole vaulting and boxing each other.

Or since the lions and turtles sleep so much because they need all their energy to digest their stupid gazelle butts and turtle pellets, why not feed them something all our red-blooded American kids love, breakfast cereal packed with hig- energy sugar? I tell ya, fifty bowls of little sugar bombs in the lions’ breakfast bowls would get those lions roaring. Or how about hearing turtles roar? They’re usually ever so quiet. I tell you one could visit a zoo fifty times and never hear a turtle roar. Well, I want to hear a turtle roar. Don’t you?

Or even better have the roaring turtles do honest-to-goodness 100-yard dashes, one’s where they sprint as quickly as Usain Bolt.  Wouldn’t that draw those paying crowds into our nation’s zoos?

– Paul De Lancey, concerned citizen

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

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