Posts Tagged With: competition

Things I’d Like to See

I’d like to see her and everybody else be happy.

Today has been a really frustrating day, so here is this post.

THINGS I’D LIKE TO SEE

Note:  These are not necessarily in order of importantce  A feware light hearted. Some are deadly serious. Okay, here goes.

1) Countries stop invading other countries. No excuses. Especially incredibly transparent lies.

2) If a country must invade, stop making deliberate targets out of civilians.

3) People having respect for other people who hold opposing political views.

4) People and groups forgoing lying when advancing political views.

5) People accepting the fact that democracy means that sometimes you will be outvoted.

6) Prosecution of all rapists. Stop turning the raped woman into the victim.

7) End of racism. There really are enough people to hate in this world based on individual merits without casting a wider net.

8) More competition in the market place. For capitalism to benefit everyone, we really can’t have conglomerates controlling huge swaths of the economy.

9) The end of lying in news programs.

10) More competition in news station. As it stands now, it’s so easy for mega-news station to drown out all other views.

11) Stop thinking five minutes of research on the internet overpowers a collected hundreds of thousands of hours of scientific research.

12) Stop whining when society asks you to do something you don’t want to do. Okay, I have problems here. Mea culpea.

13) Being outvoted doesn’t mean your rights are being violated.

14) Cover your mouth when coughing.

15) Buy the blinker package when buying a car. You don’t need to expend a lot of energy to signal.

16) Know that a red light really does mean to stop.

17) Realize that if you’re the fifth person to go through the intersection after the light changed, that you really are a dick.

18) Keys that automatically fly back to a prearranged peg on a wall or a hutch, no matter where you left them.

19) Delivery people who know how to install a refrigerator.

20) No more school children gunned down. How is this still happening?

21) The end of all harrassment in the workplace? Why is being a dick there still okay?

22) The end of littering.

23) The end of plastic-litter islands in the Pacific Ocean. Two such islands are thousands of square miles in size.

24) I’d like to not be perpetually tired or in pain.

That’s all for now. God bless you all. May tomorrow find you to be a happier person.

Behave. Don’t make me come there.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

 

 

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Fun Festivals – Ant Nest Sitting

Finland hosts Ant Nest Sitting Competitions. Athletes–whom am I kidding?–sit on an ant hill for as long as they can stand the ant bites. This competition is held all over the country during the summer months. It truly helps to have a high threshold for pain or an ass harder than bronze. Okay, I find this competition to be weird, but there are those who love it.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: fun festivals, things to see and do | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Fun Festivals – Cell Phone Tossing

Anja Heino practices tossing cell phones

Be sure to make your way to Savonlinna, Finland during mid August* for its prestigious Cell Phone Throwing Championship. The traditional part has participants throwing the cell phones over their shoulders. The longest toss wins. Cranky folks, such as myself, who have never quite adjusted to the new technology and hurl one phone after another, are usually the tournament favorites.  However, in 2012. it was a well-adjusted man named Eric Karjalainon won. He said he prepared for this event mostly by drinking.

Artistic types will be drawn to the freestyle cell-phone tossing part of the championship. Participants are judged by their creativity. Contestants have been known to do acrobatics or juggling while throwing their cell phones.

Cell-phone-throwing mania is going global, having caught in the rest of Europe and in the United States. This would be one Olympic event I’d watch. Contact the proper agency for rules of competition. As of press time, Nokia is still not an official sponsor.

* = August is almost upon us. Make you travel arrangements right away!

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D., travel guru

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: fun festivals, things to see and do | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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