Posts Tagged With: Genghis Khan

Blueberry Cheesecake

Posted on October 20, 2024 by pauldelancey

American Dessert

­

BLUEBERRY CHEESECAKE

­
INGREDIENTS – CRUST
­
¼ cup butter
1 ¼ cups graham crackers, usually about 1 package
¼ cup sugar (1 cup and 6 tablespoons more  later)
­
INGREDIENTS – FILLING
­
4 8-ounce packages of cream cheese
5 eggs
1 cup white sugar
2 tablespoons cornstarch (1 tablespoon more later)
¼ teaspoon salt
­
INGREDIENTS – TOPPING
­
2½ cups, about a 16 ounce bag, of fresh or frozen blueberries
1 tablespoon cornstarch
1½ cups sour cream
6 tablespoons white sugar
½ teaspoon vanilla extract
¼ cup water
­­
SPECIAL UTENSILS
­
food processor
9″ * 12″ casserole dish
wire rack
­
PREPARATION – CRUST
­­
Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Use medium heat to melt butter. Turn the graham crackers into crumbs by using food processor. Pour the melted butter, crumbs, and ¼ cup sugar into casserole dish. Mix thoroughly with fork. Press firmly and uniformly on the mixture. Bake at 325 degrees for 10 minutes or until lightly browned. Cool on a wire.
­
PREPARATION – FILLING
­
Place cream cheese, eggs, 1 cup sugar, 2 tablespoons cornstarch, and salt into large mixing bowl. Use electric beater to combine ingredients. Start on lowest setting and gradually increase the speed of the beaters to the highest setting. (Your kitchen walls might resemble modern art if you immediately start with the highest setting.) Add to casserole dish. Bake for 70 minutes at 325 degrees or until cheese center barely moves when casserole dish is moved. Let dish cool down. Chill completely in refrigerator.
­­
PREPARATION – TOPPING
­­
Puree blueberries and 1 tablespoon cornstarch in food processor. Add to medium mixing bowl. Add sour cream, and 6 tablespoons sugar, vanilla extract, and water. Blend with fork or electric beater set at medium. Add this topping to saucepan. Bring to boil using medium-high heat. Stir constantly. Reduce heat to low-medium and simmer for about minutes. Stir constantly. Ladle topping onto cheesecake. Spread evenly with spatula. Refrigerate until chilled.
­
TIDBITS
­
1) Barbarian tribes used the cover of winter to repeatedly mount surprise invasions of China. “Let’s  pay attention,” said General Hua. “They can’t get past us if we’re ready.” But General Hua got fired for eccentric whistling. The barbarians surprised the successor commander. And so it went.
­
2) “We need something that never relaxes its guard,” roared Emperor Foo Yung. “Make it so.”
­
3) A light bulb lit up above the chief ice sculptor’s head. “No one can push his way through a wall of frozen blueberries. Why not fortify our northern border with a line of frozen blueberries?” So, engineers constructed the Great Frozen Blueberry Wall of China (GFBWC.) The winter invasions ceased.
­
4) The wily barbarians moved their cross-border incursions to summer. For there are measures and counter measures to everything.
­
5) Disgusted with the failure of the GFBWC, Emperor Wing ordered it to be torn down.
­
6) Northern riff raff now raided China all year long. “Stop the barbarians,” commanded Wing.
­
7) A light bulb lit up above the chief food taster’s head. “No one here eats blueberry. No civilized people would climb over blueberries. It’s bad luck. Why not put mounds of blueberries across our northern border? ” So, the Ting Tang Chinese constructed the Great Blueberry Wall of China. (GBWC.)
­
8) But the Mongols were not civilized. In addition to their incessant fighting, killing, and pillaging, the Mongols loved desserts. But no blueberries grow in their homelands. They could not make Blueberry Cheesecake. The lack of their favorite dessert would make them crabby enough to fight, kill, and pillage blueberry-rich countries.
­
9) Then one fine day, Lil’ Genghis rode up to his father. “Daddy, the Chinese have built a huge wall made  entirely of blueberries! We can make all the Blueberry Cheesecake we want.”
­
10) The next day, Mongol dessert chefs used up every blueberry in the GBWC to make countless Blueberry Cheesecakes. The way to China lay open. Genghis Khan would take full advantage. The Scourge of the Mongols would paralyze Asia and Europe for over 100 years. But the ice sculptor and the food tester went on to invent hovering light bulbs. So, some good came out of this.
­

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

­My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Garlic Naan

Posted on January 11, 2024 by pauldelancey

Indian Appetizer

­

GARLIC NAAN

­
INGREDIENTS – NAAN
­
1 teaspoon sugar
2 teaspoons yeast (room temperature)
⅓ cup warm water
3⅓ cups flour
½ cup warm milk
¼ cup olive oil (a total of 6⅓ tablespoon more later)
½ cup plain yogurt
¾ teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon olive oil (5⅓ tablespoons more later)
5⅓ tablespoons olive oil (16 times with 1 teaspoon each time)
­
INGREDIENTS – GARLIC SAUCE
­
2½ tablespoons ghee or butter
1½ tablespoons minced garlic
2 tablespoons fresh cilantro
­
Makes 8 naans. Takes 2 hours.
­
PREPARATION – NAAN
­
Add sugar, yeast, and warm water to large mixing bowl. Mix with fork until sugar and yeast dissolve. Let sit for 10 minutes or until foamy. Add flour, warm milk, ¼ cup olive oil, yogurt, and salt. Mix with fork until well blended. Knead with hands until a smooth dough ball forms. Add 1 tablespoon oil. Rotate dough ball in oil until well coated. Cover and let sit for 1 hour or until dough ball doubles in size. Push down on dough.
­
Add dough ball to flat surface. Divide dough ball into 8 mini-dough balls. Dust flat surface with 2 tablespoons flour.) Roll out mini-dough balls until they are ⅛”-to-¼” thick and about 6″ wide. These are your naans. Add 1 teaspoon olive oil to pan. Warm at medium-high heat until a tiny bit of dough starts to dance. Add 1 mini-dough ball to pan. Sauté at medium-high heat for 1 minute or  until bubbles form on top. Carefully flip naan, add 1 teaspoon olive oil and sauté for another 1 minute.  Repeat for remaining naans. (Sauté tend to diminish with each naan.
­
PREPARATION – GARLIC SAUCE
­
Mince cilantro. Add ghee to small pan. Melt ghee at medium heat. Add garlic. Sauté at medium heat for 30 seconds. Stir frequently. Brush naans with equal amounts of ghee/garlic. Sprinkle with cilantro .
­
TIDBITS
­
1) It’s rainy outside. This makes people, like me, silly. So these tidbits will be devoted to naan sense.
­
2) Q: What’s the IT’ crowd’s favorite food?
A: Naan o’ Bytes.
­
3) Genghis Khan, a Haiku
Mongol Genghis Khan
Who conquered lands far and wide
Ate our Garlic Naan
­
4) Naan
Nan’s Naan
Nun Nan’s Naan
Nun Nan’s Nantucket Naan
Nun Nan’s Nantucket Naan needs
Nun Nan’s Nantucket Naan needs nearly
Nun Nan’s Nantucket Naan needs nearly nervous Ned’s
Nun Nan’s Nantucket Naan needs nearly nervous Ned’s nerdy
Nun Nan’s Nantucket Naan needs nearly nervous Ned’s nerdy named
Nun Nan’s Nantucket Naan needs nearly nervous Ned’s nerdy named gnomes’ knowledge
Nun Nan’s Nantucket Naan needs nearly nervous Ned’s nerdy named gnomes’ knowledge now
­
5) Q: Can a naan become an American president?
­
A: Yes, if was baked in America more than 35 years ago.
­
6) Q: Doesn’t a president have to be alive?
­
A: That’s why naans who want to become president get frozen.
­
7) Q: Doesn’t the American Constitution say anything against cryogenically frozen people?
­
A: No, it does not, but neither does it specifically rule out naans.
­
So probably frozen naans are okay to preside over America.
­
8) Q: But won’t the frozen naan will need to thaw when it’s time to run things? I mean, once it’s thawed, it will only last a few days if left out or at most a few weeks in the fridge?
­
A) Yes indeed. This is why political parties try to pick a qualified candidate for vice president.
­­
9) Q: Couldn’t a progressively stale naan picked a fresh naan to be vice president? Then when that naan becomes president, select another naan to follow in its footsteps? Couldn’t we have one naan president after another until the next election?
­

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Kazakhstani Beshbarmak (Boiled Meat with Noodles)

Posted on April 29, 2022 by pauldelancey

Kazakhstani Entree

BESHBARMAK
(Boiled Meat with Noodles)

INGREDIENTS

1 small onion (1 more later)
1¼ pounds lamb or beef steak
1 bay leaf
¼ teaspoon pepper
water to cover steak, about 4 cups
½ teaspoon salt
1 egg
½ cup water (about)
1¼ cups flour (2 more tablespoons later)
2 tablespoons flour
1 medium potato (optional)
1 tablespoon ghee or butter
1 small onion

Serves 4. Takes 2 hours 30 minutes.

PREPARATION

Cut 1 small onion into slices ¼” thick. Add onion slices, steak, bay leaf, pepper, and enough water to cover steak and 1″ more. Bring to boil using high heat. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 1½ hours. Stir every 20 minutes. Keep steak covered with water.

While meat simmers, add salt and 1¼ cups flour to large mixing bowl. Mix with fork. Whisk egg in cup. Add egg to mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended. Gradually add ½ cup water, as needed, until you get a smooth dough. Mix with hands each time you add water. Knead dough for 5 minutes. Cover dough and let it sit for 20 minutes.

Sprinkle flat surface with 2 tablespoons flour. Divide dough into 2 dough balls. Roll out a dough ball on flat surface until it is about ⅛” thick. Cut flatten dough into 3″ squares. Repeat for each dough ball.

When meat has been simmering for 1½ hours, cut potato into ½” cubes. Add potato to pot. Simmer on low for 35 minutes or until meat and potato are tender to the fork. Keep potato and steak covered with water. Remove simmered onion and potato and set aside on 2 different plates. Cover to keep warm. Keep broth in pot.

While steak still simmers, cut 1 small onion into slices ¼” thick. Add onion slices and ghee to pan. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Remove sautéed onion slices from heat.

Divide broth into 2 pots. (This will speed things up and keep meat and potato from getting cold.) Bring broth to boil using high heat. Add ¼ of the dough squares each to the 2 pots. (Add squares one at time to prevent sticking. Reduce heat to medium. Simmer for 4 minutes. Remove dough squares with slotted spoon. Repeat for remaining 2 portions of dough squares.

While dough square boil, cut steak into 1″ cubes. Cover again to keep warm. Remove bay leaf. Divide pasta squares between 4 plates. Top pasta squares with meat cubes. Top meat with simmered onion slices and potato cubes. Garnish with sautéed-onion slices. Spoon remaining broth over sautéed onion. Serve immediately.

TIDBITS

1) This dish, Beshbarmak, is undeniably tasty. This is why some many Kazakhstanis eat it so often.

2) However, take a look at the picture at the above picture. The tablecloth depicts, among other things, an oversized pineapple.

3) This is because all Kazakhstanis love pineapple. I mean, who doesn’t it?

4) But the inhabit of Kazakhstan really, really love the pineapple.

5) Whence sprang this deep and abiding taste?

6) From Genghis Khan.

7) Here how it started. It’s remarkable that we all the words in the following conversation.

8) Genghis Khan: Yo ho, Beshbarmak tastes great, but I really have a yearning for something sour and tart.

Kublai: And something with lots of Vitamin C to ward off colds. I do so hate the sniffles.

Subotai: How do you know about Vitamin C?

Kublai: I went to a fortune teller. She told me that 1,000 years from now, people would be eating pineapples to fight off sniffles.

Genghis: Well, there’s nothing more useless than a sniffling warrior. By heavens, we’ll get us some pineapples even if we have to destroy entire civilizations to do so.

All the Mongols: Yay! Yay!

9) But pineapples, back then, grew only in Brazil. So the Mongols conquered their way ever westward, stopped only in Hungary when their pineapple-lacking army came down with sniffles.

10) But in return for widespread destruction of Kazakhstan, the Mongols gave the locals the recipe for Beshbarmak. So, some good came out of the invasion. The Mongols also passed on their hunger for pineapples. Hence, the frequent pineapple imagery seen in Kazakhstan.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Genghis Khan on Russia

Posted on March 21, 2022 by pauldelancey

Fair point, Genghis.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D., and historian

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Shua Yang Jou – Mongolian Hot Pot

Posted on April 11, 2016 by pauldelancey

Mongolian Soup

SHUA YANG JOU
Mongolian hot pot

INGREDIENTSShuaYangJu-

5 ounces cellophane noodles or bean threads
1″ ginger root
3 green onions
1 onion
¼ cup parsley, fresh
1 pound bok choy or Chinese cabbage
10 cups lamb or beef stock
24 ounces freshly-made dough or 8 sesame rolls
3 pounds deli-sliced lamb (thin as you can get it)
1 cup spinach
2½ tablespoons rice wine
2½ tablespoons sesame oil
⅓ cup soy sauce
¼ teaspoon cayenne pepper
1½ tablespoons red bean curd or fermented bean curd*
* = or plain bean curd or tofu, not authentic but gosh, the fermented stuff can be hard to find.

SPECIAL UTENSILS

chopsticks (for dipping and cooking the lamb in the hot pot)
something that acts as a hot pot, a pot with a fire under it, that goes in the middle of the table Slotted spoons or strainers (for dipping and retrieving the veggies in the hot pot)
sonic obliterator to use on anyone who says, “I want a big Big MacTM,” after all this preparation.
spice grinder.
wire rack, if you are using sesame rolls

Serves 8. Takes 1 hour 30 minutes if you use sesame rolls, 2 hours 30 minutes if you make your own dough. This is designed to a leisurely dinner and can take up to two hours, unless of course, you have teenage boys.

PREPARATION

Soak noodles in hot water for 30 minutes. While noodles soak, peel ginger root and grind into powder. Dice green onions, onion, and parsley. Separate bok choy into separate leaves into 2″ squares. Leave spinach leaves as is.

Add lamb stock to large, regular pot. Bring to boil using high heat. While lamb stock comes to boil, tear freshly-made dough into 8 pieces and shape them into balls. Add dough balls to pot. Remove dough balls when they puff up into absorbent dumplings. (If you are using sesame rolls, place rolls on wire rack. Place wire rack on pot. Remove steamed rolls when they soften.) Add stock to hot pot. Set level of heat so that the stock is kept comfortably hot.

Place sliced lamb in large serving bowl. Put ginger, green onion, onion, parsley, bok choy, and spinach in second serving bowl and mix together with fork. Add rice wine, sesame oil, soy sauce, cayenne pepper, and fermented bead curd to second mixing bowl and whisk together. Add noodles to third serving bowl. Place a dumpling on a small plate for each guest.

Guests should pick up slices of lamb, veggies, and bean curd with chopsticks and dip food the bowl with the wine/oil/sauce. They then put these items in the part of the hot pot nearest to themselves until the meat and veggies are done to desired levels. Add extra wine/sesame oil/soy sauce mix and their dumpling to individual bowls as desired.

After the lamb, veggies, and dumplings are eaten, the hot lamb stock, enhanced with the flavor of the dipped lamb, veggies, and dipping sauce, is ladled into the individual bowls. This meal is really a two-course feast in disguise.

TIDBITS

1) As correctly noted above, fermented bean curd, or red bean curd can be powerful hard to find. It was especially hard to find in the fragmented Mongolia of 1205. Without fermented bean curd, a tribal leader could not offer his guests shua yang jou. No Mongolia hot pot, no guests. No guests, no tribesmen willing to support you as chief. No support, you get deposed. A deposed chief dies.

2) So finding fermented bean curd (FBC) became of paramount importance. Drought struck Mongolia in the summer of 1205. The bean plant crop failed on a cataclysmic scale. Whatever bean plants survived could not be put in water to ferment. No fermented beans, no FBC.

3) It’s worth noting that fermented plants stink. They increase in stinkiness with each successive day. The yurts, tent homes of the Mongols, could really reek if the dwellers were soaking a lot of beans.

4) Fermenting bean stench was a just as much a turnoff to lovemaking then as it is now. This is why the Mongol population had always been low compared to its neighbors. But with the disappearance of the bean crop in 1205, fermented in the tents stopped. Love making soared. Babies popped out like tennis balls from an automatic serving machine. The Mongols needed more land for their burgeoning families. The tribal chiefs had scant supplies of FBC necessary to make shua yang jou. The loyalty of their tribesmen began melting away.

5) Tribal chief after tribal chief launched devastating raids in neighboring tribal lands, carrying off whatever FBC they could find. Thousands died, banquets went unplanned. It was horrible.

6) Along came Genghis Khan. “Whoa dudes,” he said in fluent Mongolian as he was a Mongol, “there is some gnarly badness going on.” Yes, he was a surfer at heart. “China has lots of FBC. Iran has lots of FBC. Why kill ourselves for it, when we can totally kill them.” He pointed his finger to the south. “Are you with me?” The Mongols roared their approval. He was their one leader.

7) And so the Mongols, conquered, killed, and enslaved entire towns, cities, and regions which is admittedly bad. However, their conquests paved the way for the vibrant Asia-to-Europe spice trade. So some good came out of all this.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Kourma Shurpa (beef vegetable soup)

Posted on May 20, 2015 by pauldelancey

Uzbek Soup

KOURMA SHURPA
(beef vegetable soup)

INGREDIENTSKourmaShurpa-

1¼ pounds tri-tip or chuck
3 russet potatoes
2 medium carrots
1 green bell pepper
2 garlic cloves
2 medium onions
2 tomatoes
¼ cup vegetable oil
½ tablespoon cilantro
½ teaspoon coriander
¾ teaspoon cumin
2 teaspoons dill
½ teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon pink Himalayan salt or salt
1½ quarts water
2 teaspoons parsley

Makes 10 bowls. Takes about 1½ hours.

SPECIAL UTENSIL

Dutch oven

PREPARATION

Cut tri-tip into ½” cubes. Peel potatoes. Cut potatoes into fourths. Cut carrots into round ½” slices. Remove seeds from bell pepper. Dice bell pepper, garlic, onions, and tomatoes.

Add tri-tip cubes and oil to Dutch oven. Stir occasionally. Sauté for 4 minutes on medium-high heat or until cubes brown. Add garlic and onion. Sauté for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Add bell pepper, carrot, tomato, cilantro, coriander, cumin, dill, parsley, pepper, and salt.

Add water. Bring to boil using high heat. Reduce heat to warm and simmer for 30 minutes or until carrot becomes tender. Stir occasionally. Add potatoes. Simmer for 30 minutes or until potato fourths are tender. Stir occasionally. Garnish with parsley and serve to guests who will be agog with your knowledge of Uzbekistan.

TIDBITS

1) Uzbek is an anagram for bezku.

2) Kudzu is an extremely fast growing vine that’s spreading all over parts of the southern United States.

3) Bezku is a fast growing beet that’s growing all over Uzbekistan.

4) For the longest time, the Turkmen government was aghast about the proliferating bezku.

5) Then came last month’s announcement that Beetball would be added as a sport for the Summer Olympics. Now athletes all over the world are clamoring for beets.

6) Beetball is played very much like volleyball but with a beet instead of a volleyball. So, tough agile hands are a must for the successful participant.

7) Oh, also good eyesight, excellent eyesight, superb eyesight. You really don’t want to get hit in the nose by a beet hurtling toward you at 80 miles per hour, because you didn’t spot it in time.

8) The best beetball players hail from Mongolia. Genghis Khan trained his warriors to dodge arrows by hurling beets at them. Sure, he could have trained his fighters by loosing arrows at them, but men with arrows in their heads or heads invariably prove to be slow learners.

9) That reminds me, the phrase, “That beats all,” really came from “That beets all,” and is a deadly serious statement. Nothing beats beets for tough army training.

10) Genghis Khan and the succeeding khans of Mongolia nearly conquered Europe in 1241. No European army could withstand the Mongols. The Mongol horsemen, toughened by months of beet throwing, easily dodged the arrows of Russian, Hungarian, and Polish archers.

11) It looked really grim for the nascent French pastry industry.

12) Then suddenly in 1242, the fiercesome, all conquering Mongol armies withdrew to Mongolia. Their khan, Ogadai, had tied and the Mongols true to their tradition, had returned to their homeland to elect a new leader. How did Ogadai die?

14) Well, Sven Svenson of Sweden poisoned the Mongol leader with lutefisk. Sven knew that just as no Western army could stand up to the Terror of the East, no man could survive eating lutefisk, or even smelling and looking at it. Apparently though, Sven was okay with run-on sentences.

15) Indeed, lutefisk warfare is the primary reason the tiny Viking armies consistently overwhelmed the much larger armies of Ireland, England, France, and Germany. We hear the expression, “God save us from the fury of the Norsemen,” but it used to be, “God saves us from the horror of lutefisk.”

16) Anyway, Svenson was decapitated by the Mongols, which certainly was a bummer for Sven.

17) The United States and the European Union still permit the making and even the selling of lutefisk to adults and innocent children. Why? Why? Because we all know how lutefisk saved Western civilization in 1241. There is even the suspicion that Western armies maintain vast stockpiles of lutefisk, but no one will talk.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Completo, the Chilean Hot Dog

Posted on September 9, 2014 by pauldelancey

Chilean Entree

COMPLETO
(hot dog)

INGREDIENTSCompleto-

4 Roma tomatoes
4 medium avocados
½ teaspoon salt
4 teaspoons vegetable oil
4 submarine rolls – 8″ long
4 quarter-pound hot dogs – 8″
½ to 1 cup mayonnaise (1 cup means you’re fearless about spilling on your shirt or floor)
1 cup fresh sauerkraut

SPECIAL UTENSILS

metallic rack to cover pot
lots of napkins

PREPARATION

Dice tomatoes. Peel avocados, cut in half, and remove pits. Add avocado halves to mixing bowl. Mash avocado with potato masher or fork until smooth. Add salt and oil. Stir until avocado mixture (palta) becomes creamy. Boil hot dogs in large pot on high heat for five minutes. Steam rolls on rack atop pot. Add hot dogs to buns, then top in the following order with sauerkraut, tomato, a thick layer of creamy avocado (palta), and mayonnaise. The layers of creamy avocado and mayonnaise should be thick and wide, until it barely stays on the roll. Eat with the cut of the bun facing up.

Is this a messy hot dog? Yes it is! This is why you see it sold more often in Chile from street vendors than in restaurants.

TIDBITS

1) Sauerkraut is fermented cabbage.

2) The Mongols under Genghis Khan slaughtered thousands upon thousands of people while conquering darn near every place from Mongolia to western Europe. Which was bad. But who doesn’t have a bad side? I, for example, constantly misplace my glasses.

3) But I have done good deeds as well. And so did Mr. Khan, who brought the idea of fermenting vegetables to the western world. Without fermented cabbage, sauerkraut, the completo would not have been possible. I think Genghis would have been pleased to have known about his role in this recipe, unless, of course, he was more modest and unassuming than previously suspected.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Berbere Burgers

Posted on August 25, 2012 by pauldelancey

Moroccan Entree

BERBERE BURGERS

INGREDIENTS

1 medium yellow onion
1 tablespoon Berbere spices (See recipe for BERBERE SPICE MIX INGREDIENTS, if you can’t find the mix)
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 tablespoon ground coriander
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
1 tablespoon parsley flakes
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1/2 teaspoon sea salt
1 1/2 pounds ground beef
8 buns or 16 multi-grain bread slices
1/2 head lettuce
1 cup grated Mozzarella cheese
no-stick spray

UTENSILS

Electric skillet
Spice grinder (If needed to make your own Berbere spice mix.)

PREPARATION

Peel and dice onion. Put Berbere spices, cayenne pepper, cinnamon, coriander, ginger, parsley, pepper, salt, and ground beef in mixing bowl. Pretend you’re making the mortar for the mighty Egyptian pyramids as you mix everything together with your hands. (Edible pyramids. What a concept.) Make 8 hamburger patties.

Use non-stick spray on skillet. Put 4 patties in pan. Heat patties at 350 degrees in skillet for 2 to 3 minutes. Flip patties over and cook for another 2 to 3 minutes. Don’t squash the patties with your spatula. This forces the juices out of the patties. (I also don’t recommend flattening oranges with your spatula for a similar if not more spectacular reason.) Patties should have no pink remaining. Repeat to make 8 patties.

Toast buns. While buns are toasting, tear lettuce into bun-size pieces by hand.

Put a patty on each bun bottom. Top with lettuce and cheese. Put bun top and, violà, you have a burger so tasty you’ll want to conquer all of North Africa just to bring this dish’s culinary greatness to all its peoples.

TIDBITS

1) Most world conquerors, such as Napoleon, Cortes, Alexander the Great, Genghis Khan, and Julius Caesar didn’t bring much culinary enlightenment to their defeated nations.

2) Pretty much just death by the thousands and enslavement.

3) What would it have hurt them to give their newly enslaved peoples a wondrous culinary novelty in compensation?

4) Oh sure, there are such things as Napoleons and Caesar salad.

5) But those military geniuses didn’t come up with them.

6) The Caesar salad was invented last century at Caesar’s hotel in Tijuana Mexico.

7) Indeed, it is also verifiable that Julius Caesar and all of the Julian-Claudian Emperors had nothing to do with the comedic brilliance of Sid Caesar.

8) Frederick the Great did encourage potato production in his Kingdom of Prussia, the precursor to modern Germany. The mighty tuber enabled Prussia to feed all its people even though its lands were repeatedly invaded by its enemies.

9) To this day, one may still buy French Fries in Germany.

10) Well done, Frederick.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Berbere Burgers From Cookbook, “Eat Me”

Posted on April 24, 2012 by pauldelancey

Moroccan Entree

BERBERE BURGERS

INGREDIENTSBerbeHB-

1/2 head lettuce
1 medium yellow onion
1 tablespoon Berbere spices (See recipe for BERBERE SPICE MIX INGREDIENTS, if you can’t find the mix)
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 tablespoon ground coriander
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
1 tablespoon parsley flakes
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1/2 teaspoon sea salt
1 1/2 pounds ground beef
8 buns or 16 multi-grain bread slices
1 cup grated Mozzarella cheese
no-stick spray

UTENSILS

electric skillet

spice grinder (To make your own Berbere spice mix.)

PREPARATION

Tear lettuce into bun-size pieces by hand. Peel and dice onion. Put Berbere spices, cayenne pepper, cinnamon, coriander, ginger, parsley, pepper, salt, and ground beef in mixing bowl. Pretend you’re making the mortar for the mighty Egyptian pyramids as you mix everything together with your hands. (Edible pyramids. What a concept.) Make 8 hamburger patties.

Use non-stick spray on frying pan. Put 4 patties in pan. Cook on medium-high heat for 2 to 3 minutes. Flip patties over and cook for another 2 to 3 minutes. Don’t squash the patties with your spatula. This forces the juices out of the patties. (I also don’t recommend flattening oranges with your spatula for a similar if not more spectacular reason.) Patties should have no pink remaining. Repeat to make 8 patties. Toast buns.

Put a patty on each bun bottom. Top with lettuce and cheese. Put bun top and, violà, you have a burger so tasty you’ll want to conquer all of North Africa just to bring this dish’s culinary greatness to all its peoples.

TIDBITS

1) Most world conquerors, such as Napoleon, Cortes, Alexander the Great, Genghis Khan, and Julius Caesar didn’t bring much culinary enlightenment to their defeated nations.

2) Pretty much just death by the thousands and enslavement.

3) What would it have hurt them to give their newly enslaved peoples a wondrous culinary novelty in compensation?

4) Oh sure, there are such things as Napoleons and Caesar salad.

5) But those military geniuses didn’t come up with them.

6) The Caesar salad was invented last century at Caesar’s hotel in Tijuana Mexico.

7) Indeed, it is also verifiable that Julius Caesar and all of the Julian-Claudian Emperors had nothing to do with the comedic brilliance of Sid Caesar.

8) Frederick the Great did encourage potato production in his Kingdom of Prussia, the precursor to modern Germany. The mighty tuber enabled Prussia to feed all its people even though its lands were repeatedly invaded by its enemies.

9) To this day, one may still buy French Fries in Germany.

10) Well done, Frederick.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.