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Plan A: Throw gummi brains at the zombies. (We have a huge stockpile. Our vast army of flying squirrels will distribute the gummi brains at the first signs of a zombie outbreak.Plan B: Encourage the zombies to go to countries or regions where people eat brains.
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No one has ever said zombies have to eat human brains. Sure, zombies prefer human brains. I mean, it takes the same time to break open a skull and scoop out the insides no matter how big the animal or person. So, it would take a lot of time to eat a lot of rat brains for example. But there are lots of countries and regions where brains of many, many animals are sold at street restaurants. Just watch Anthony Bourdain’s “No Reservations'” on the Travel Channel. And what zombie could resist spiced, freshly kebabed brains? I know this is a bit gruesome, but fighting zombies isn’t for squeamish. Rest assured, the Bacon & Chocolate Party, and only the Bacon & Chocolate Party, has your back on this one.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
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Today Is International Zombie Haiku Day
Please mister, zombie
Wouldn’t you rather have some
Nice lamb’s brains instead?
The hungry zombies
Want our brains because they are
All politicians.
What wine goes with brains?
Perhaps a fine rose would do
Because brains are gray.
Ninety-eight percent
Of my brain remains unused.
You may have that much.
Rejoice, geeks and nerds.
Babes will soon lust for your brains.
They’ll be zombies, though.
Zombies, remember to
Pick up after your trash and
Your detached fingers.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: brains, Chef Paul, haiku, international, Paul De Lancey, politicians, wine, zombie
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Bacon & Chocolate Party’s Blueprint For Campaign reform
It’s all so simple. Everyone, and I mean everyone, goes to the polling booth on Election Day in 
November armed with a die. You can get a die from an old game of Risk or backgammon. Roll the die inside your election booth. If it comes up 1 or 2, vote for President Obama. If the result is 3 0r 4, vote for Romney. However, if you get a 5 or 6 vote for Bacon & Chocolate.
No matter how much money the Democrats or the Republicans spend on the presidential election they cannot affect the roll of the die. They will have no reason to raise an obscene number of millions to spend on misleading and omnipresent campaign ads. Billionaires will have no reason to give money to presidential candidates. Presidential candidates will have no reason to listen to billionaires. No matter, whom we elect when we roll our dice on Election Tuesday, our voice will be heard just as loud to the elected President as any
other.
And we’ll have a 1/3 chance of electing Bacon & Chocolate for president.
Vote Bacon & Chocolate for a tasty tomorrow.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: backgammon, Bacon & Chocolate, Campaign reform, Democrats, Obama, presidential, Republicans, Risk, Romney
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Bacon & Chocolate Party’s Affordable Care Act
First there was Governor Romney’s health-care legislation.
Then there was President Obama’s health-care act.
Now great news! Here’s
BACON & CHOCOLATE PARTY’S
Comprehensive AFFORDABLE CARE ACT >>>>>>>
Vote Bacon & Chocolate in November
For a Tasty Tomorrow
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: affordable care act, bacon, Bacon & Chocolate, chocolate, Comic Chef, good food, health care, Obama, Paul De Lancey, Romney
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Stir Fry Chicken
Chinese Entree
CHICKEN STIR FRY
INGREDIENTS
2 chicken breasts
2 cloves garlic
1 yellow bell pepper
2 teaspoons peanut oil
2 teaspoons sesame oil
3 tablespoons honey
2 1/2 tablespoons soy sauce
1/8 teaspoon white pepper
1/2 teaspoon ginger
6 ounces bean sprouts
2 large carrots
2 teaspoons cornstarch
1 cup rice
2 cup water
PREPARATION
Cut chicken into 1/2-inch cubes or dice with food processor. (Chicken cubes make poor ear plugs.) Scrape off skin from carrots with knife and remove tops and bottoms. Dice garlic, bell pepper, and carrots.
Put chicken, garlic, bell pepper, sesame oil, and peanut oil in large no-stick frying pan or wok. Cook on medium heat until chicken is lightly browned. Stir occasionally.
Add honey, soy sauce, white pepper, ginger, sprouts, and carrots. Cook on medium heat until all is hot. Stir occasionally. Add cornstarch. Stir in cooked rice (cooked according to instructions on bag) and serve.
Simple and tasty.
TIDBITS
1) Rice is much more popular in Asia than in the United States.
2) However, Sam Rice, of the 1924 Washington Senators, was very popular in Washington, D.C. It is doubtful many in Asia had ever heard of him.
3) 1924 was the only year the Senators won the World Series.
4) In the 1960s, some losers of the World Series later toured and played in Japan.
5) Japanese samurais of the 10th to 16th centuries were famous for their swordsmanship.
6) So naturally, samurai trading cards were all the rage in Australia in 1965. There was even a well-watched t.v. show called Shintaro.
7) I had an outfit just like Shintaro and a genuine toy sword, too.
8) Where did they go?
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, international, recipes, Uncategorized
Tags: Asia, bean sprouts, bell pepper, chicken, Chinese, cloves garlic, cookbook, d, De Lancey, dinner, entree, honey, Japan, peanut oil, rice, samuries, sesame oil, stir fry, vegetarian, Washington, Washington Senators, World Series
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The Bacon And Chocolate Party Will Win In November
Bacon & Chocolate Party has, through the use of its revolutionary time
machine, uncovered proof of B&C’s 
upcoming win in November. The
photo on this blog depicts President Paul De Lancey coming down the
steps of Air Force One.
Mr. De Lancey, upon being shown this picture, said, “Who would have
thought we’d win what with our party being a write-in in every state
and having a budget of $0.00? It just shows you the American public
wants bacon and chocolate over politics as usual.”
Indeed. Good luck, President De Lancey.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Air Force One, American public, bacon, Bacon & Chocolate Party, chocolate, De Lancey, President, restaurants
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Be The Boss Of Your Federal Department – Part 2
All you have to do is follow my blog, pauldelancey.com and like it. In return, when elected President of the United States on the Bacon & Chocolate Party ticket, I will give you a job as the head honcho of whatever federal department is available. (See below for taken slots and list of federal agencies.) If you can’t decide, but still wish to serve your country at a handsome salary with great health care, I will randomly pick a department for you to run.
http://www.usa.gov/directory/federal/index.shtml
May 21, 2012 – Directory listing for federal agencies and departments:A.
What a deal! What a country!
Our lineup so far:
President: Paul De Lancey
Vice President: Daphne Anne Humphrey
Avoiding Labor: Stephen Parrish
Education: Jan Buckner, Amy Buckheister Gettinger
Extraterrestrial Welcoming Committee: Denise Hemphill
Health Human Services And Cooking: Shauna Roberts
State: Franchesca Todd
Secret Service: Maria Kuroshchepova
Treasury: Andrea Isom
Ambassadorships:
Vatican: John Rucker
Bacon & Chocolate for a Tasty Tommorow
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Categories: Bacon & Chocolate, politics, Uncategorized
Tags: bacon, chocolate, Comic Chef, federal agencies, pauldelancey.com, President, secret servie, treasury
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Be The Boss Of Your Very Own Federal Department
All you have to do is follow my blog, pauldelancey.com and like it. In return, when elected President of the United States on the Bacon & Chocolate Party ticket, I will give you a job as the head honcho of whatever federal department is available. (See below for taken slots.) If you can’t decide, but still wish to serve your country at a handsome salary with great health care, I will randomly pick a department for you to run.
What a deal! What a country!
Our lineup so far:
President: Paul De Lancey
Vice President: Daphne Anne Humphrey
Treasury: Andrea Isom
State: Karina De Lancey
Avoiding Labor: Stephen Parrish
Education: Jan Buckner, Amy Buckheister Gettinger
Bacon & Chocolate for a Tasty Tommorow.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
How The Bacon-And-Chocolate Party Will Eliminate Crime
Crime is bad. Let’s get rid of it. Is our present system of incarceration working? No. Who was responsible for this? The Democrats and Republicans. Who will fix it? Bacon-And-Chocolate. How? I’m glad you asked. Here is our five point program.
1) Convicted criminals will never get bacon or chocolate. Our current system allows prisoners to enjoy socialized bacon and chocolate. That’s no deterrence at all. Geez!
2) Convicted criminals will download software for all the law-abiding citizens in their community. They will work with customer service until the myriad of issues are resolved.
3) Convicted criminals will be forced to stay at home. Municipal, county, state, and federal governments will save billions and billions of dollars on prison construction costs, prison maintenance, and prison staff.
4) Criminals who leave their homes will be sent to maximum-security cells for life. It bears repeating, these ne’er do wells will still be without chocolate and bacon for life . They will still do software downloads for life.
5) These ne’er do wells will also be forced, in their short free periods, to read and re-read James Joyce’s Ulysses until their minds explode trying to understand it. Moreover we will, if allowed, by human rights organizations, serve lutefisk everyday to our hardened criminals.
No person alive would even contemplate committing any crime when faced with the above five consequences. Crime would disappear from our great country within the year. Money spent on law enforcement could be used to balance budget and distribute free bacon and chocolate to all Americans.
Vote Bacon-And-Chocolate. Honest and Tasty.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Fireworks: San Diego Style
Last night, a technical malfunction caused all of the fireworks at a San Diego celebration to go off at once
:http://theatln.tc/N0k9z0 (via The Atlantic Wire)
After clicking on the above link, be sure to scroll down to the video. It’ll change your view
of fireworks forever.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: Comic Chef, fireworks, good food, malfunction, Paul De Lancey, San Diego
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Paul De Lancey's Blog 