Posts Tagged With: sugar

Tanzanian Mango Cream Recipe

Posted on May 5, 2013 by pauldelancey

Tanzanian Dessert

MANGO CREAM

INGREDIENTSMangoCr-

2 mangoes
1 1/3 cup sugar
1 cup heavy cream

PREPARATION

Peel mangoes. Cut fleshy part of mango in blender. Puree mango in blender. Put sugar and heavy cream in mixing bowl. Whip cream with whisk or electric beater until sugar dissolves and cream thickens. Pour pureed mango into mixing bowl. Mix with whisk until all is uniformly blended.

TIDBITS

1) Mango is not a palindrome.

2) However, it is anagram for Ma Nog.

3) Ma Nog led the extended Nog family of Tanzania from 1869 to 1914 and in 1888 developed egg nog. It was fantastic! The whole world took notice! The whole world loved egg nog! They all wanted it! Everyone ended sentences with exclamation points!

3) The late 1800s was best of times. It was the worst of times. It was the age of spiced dessert drinks. It was the age of militaristic imperialism.

4) In 1885, Germany invaded Tanzanzia, then Tanganyika, to secure the supply of Ma Nog’s egg nog. France and Britain the other big colonial powers resented Germany rolly polly Ma Nog egg monopoly.

5) Relations festered for decades between Germany and the Franco-British egg-nog alliance. War War One erupted in 1914. Supposedly it was because the Archduke Ferdinand was assassinated but newly declassified documents prove decisively the Tanzania egg nog cause.

6) Millions died in World War One. This war spawned a sequel, World War Two. Millions died in that war as well.

7) But in 1961 Tanzania became independent. It’s peace loving government with the kind acquiesence of Ma Nog’s grandchildren posted her delicious egg nog recipe in all the prestigious culinary journals.

8) We haven’t had a global war since. Yay for Tanzania and egg nog.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Hawaiian Pizza

Posted on April 28, 2013 by pauldelancey

Hawaiian Entree

HAWAIIAN PIZZA

INGREDIENTSHawaiPi-

no-stick spray
1 pizza crust
1 cup pineapple chunks
1/2 cup pineapple juice
1/2 teaspoon brown sugar
1 cup pasta sauce
6 ounces deli-sliced ham
2 tablespoons Parmesan cheese

SPECIALTY ITEM

pizza pan

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Spray pizza pan to keep the pizza from sticking. (It’s not a good feeling to have your great looking, great smelling pizza fall apart because it sticks to pan when you try to serve it.) Put crust on pan. Mix pineapple juice, brown sugar, and pasta sauce until sugar dissolves. Spread mix evenly over crust.

Cut deli-sliced ham into 1″ squares. Place ham squares and pineapple chunks on crust. Sprinkle Parmesan cheese on top. Put pizza in oven and bake at 400 degrees for 10-to-15 minutes or until cheese or crust in golden brown. Now you have a Hawaiian pizza. Life is good.

TIDBITS

1) In 334 BC Alexander the Great, invaded the Persian Empire, changing culinary history forever.

2) In 327 BC, while conquering much of the known world, he discovered sugar cane.

3) Alexander the Great came so close to dying in battle in 334BC.

4) If he had died then, he wouldn’t have conquered the Persian Empire. If he hadn’t have conquered the Persians, he wouldn’t have been able to bring back sugar to the Mediterranean.

5) In 1493, Columbus introduced sugar to the New World.

6) Sugar was so prized by European nobility up until 1800 that many bloody wars were fought over islands with thriving sugar plantations. These plantations required vast numbers of slaves to work them.

7) So if Alexander had died at a young age in battle as Alexander the Mediocre, a lot of conflict and misery might have been avoid.

8) On the other hand, we’d have no doughnuts, no cakes, and no brownies. And no pizza too; the yeast in the pizza requires sugar to rise.

9) So, Alex’s wars of conquest resulted in some good as well. Life’s life that.

10) 2001, sugar is found in outer space. Yay!

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Cuban Arroz Con Pollo Recipe

Posted on April 26, 2013 by pauldelancey

Cuban Entree

ARROZ CON POLLO

INGREDIENTSArrozCP-

2 cups rice
3 chicken breasts or 2 pounds chicken parts
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1/4 teaspoon cumin
1/4 teaspoon oregano
1/4 teaspoon paprika
2 tablespoons olive oil
3 garlic cloves
1 medium onion
1 bay leaf
1/2 green bell pepper
1/2 red bell pepper
1/medium tomato
1 1/2 tablespoons lemon juice
2/3 cup white wine
2 cup chicken broth
1/2 teaspoon cilantro.

PREPARATION

Cook rice according to instructions on package.

While rice is cooking, cut chicken breasts into 1″ cubes. (If you are using parts such as chicken legs, leave them as they are.) Mince garlic and onion, Dice green and red bell peppers. Coat chicken with black pepper, cumin, oregano, and paprika. Puree tomato.

Add olive oil, garlic, and onion to frying pan. Sauté on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion turns soft. Add spice-coated chicken, bay leaf, green and red bell pepper, tomato, lemon juice, wine, and chicken broth. Bring to boil at high heat then reduce to low and simmer for 20-to-30 minutes or until chicken is cooked through. (You might have to cut off a bit and taste. Maybe taste a second piece, a third…)

Serve with rice in a bowl. Garnish with cilantro.

TIDBITS

1) Sugar was first made into cubes in Cuba. That’s why we call sugar “cubes.” Before cubes, sugar had always been scooped.

2) People would always ask, “One or two spoons?” when serving sugar with coffee.

3) Indeed, specialized spoons were made for sugar. The first major producer of sugar spoons was Krupp of Essen, Germany.

4) Krupp made a fortune off their sugar spoons. So much so they were able to enter the burgeoning armaments industry.

5) Germany bought so much artillery from Krupp in the 1900s that it started an arms race in Europe. The heavily armed nations of Europe inevitably went to war in 1914.

6) A scarred Germany resentful of the peace terms imposed by the victorious powers in 1918 seethed for revenge.

7) And so, World War II erupted in 1939. The years from 1939 to 1945 were a bummer.

8) The war alliance between The United States and the Soviet Union proved ephemeral. (Cool word, huh?) They soon constructed vast arsenals to intimidate each other.

9) Tensions between America and Russia lessened considerably in the 1990s when the countries’ presidents took the first step toward peace, The Lutefisk Ban treaty.

10) Or so I’ve heard.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Roy Rogers Recipe

Posted on April 23, 2013 by pauldelancey

American Dessert

ROY ROGERS

INGREDIENTS??????????

6 ounces cola (Mexican cola still uses sugar)
1/2 tablespoon grenadine
1 maraschino cherry (with stem is preferred)
ice (optional)

PREPARATION

Put all ingredients in tall glass. Stir. Drink. Repeat as needed.

TIDBITS

1) Roy Rogers was known as “King of the Cowboys.”

2) Roy is old French for king.

3) Only kings were allowed to rule France. According to Salic law a queen could never inherit the throne of France.

4) Henry IV of England claimed the French throne in 1415 based on tidbit 3). He and his English army routed French chivalry at the battle of Agincourt.

5) Shakespeare’s play Henry IV and the movie versions by Sir Lawrence Olivier and Kenneth Brannagh were all based on tidbit 4).

6) I’ll have to watch what I put down in my tidbits. Clearly, I have an awesome responsibility.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Swedish Meatballs

Posted on September 20, 2012 by pauldelancey

Swedish Entree

SWEDISH MEATBALLS

INGREDIENTS

1 pound lean ground beef (not the leanest, it sticks.)
2 slices dry bread
milk (optional. If used, enough to cover bread crumbs or at least 1/2 cup.)
1 egg
1 teaspoon onion powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
2 teaspoons allspice
1/4 teaspoon sugar

PREPARATION

Use dried bread, let bread dry out overnight, or toast bread. Let bread soak in milk overnight. This last step is a matter of preference and can be omitted. (Do this part after your spouse has gone to bed, if the two of you disagree on the inclusion of milk.)

Combine meat, bread (soaked or not, did you win the argument?), eggs, salt, black pepper, allspice, and sugar. Make small meatballs, not more than 1-inch wide.

Cook in electric skillet at 340 degrees. Turn occasionally. Meatballs should be at least dark brown all over.

These meatballs are great. They disappear fast. They can be rewarmed in a little water.

TIDBITS

1) This recipe comes from my Grandma Anna. According to her, these are the authentic Swedish meatballs.

2) She said the big gravy-covered meatballs served at buffets were not.

3) Grandma Anna served these meatballs to my Dad’s parents when they came over to meet my mother’s parents for the first time. Upon seeing the meatballs, my Dad’s father said, “What are these little black things?” Fortunately, Grandma Anna laughed, my parents married, and I was born. Whew!

4) Grandma Anna used to say, “Be useful as well as ornamental.”

5) Whenever my brother or I did something to displease her she’d say, “You’re in bad trouble.”

6) This  has been a much anticipated dish at Thanksgiving and Christmas.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Sugar Cookies

Posted on September 11, 2012 by pauldelancey

American Dessert

SUGAR COOKIES

INGREDIENTS

3 cups flour
½ teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup butter
1 cup sugar
½ cup white chocolate flavored cocoa, or an extra ½ cup sugar
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Makes 55 cookies. Takes 1 hour 30 minutes.

SPECIAL UTENSILS

cookie gun (optional, it’s faster without it)
cookie sheet

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Preparation is easier if the butter is already soft. You can accomplish this by simply taking the butter out of the refrigerator an hour before you’re ready to start. (Or you can pretend you’re Rocky Balboa getting ready for a big fight and batter those butter sticks into submission with your fists of steel.)

Use whisk to blend flour, baking powder, and baking soda in a large mixing bowl. Set aside. Place butter, sugar, flavored cocoa, egg, and vanilla extract in another mixing bowl. Mix with hands or electric beater set on “cookies.” Gradually add in the blended flour mixture. Again, blend thoroughly. If you have a cookie gun or cookie press to make shapes, great. If not, roll dough into little balls 1″ wide. (Keep dough covered until ready to use in a batch.)Place dough onto ungreased cookie sheets.

Bake for 12 minutes or until golden brown. Let stand on cookie sheet for 2 minutes and then cool on wire racks for faster cooling. If you don’t own a wire rack, either let the cookies cool for a long time on the hot sheet or transfer them with a spatula to a cold plate. And who says you have to wait until the cookies are completely cold to eat them? Just as long as the cookies aren’t hot enough to burn your fingers or your tongue.

TIDBITS

1) Don’t try to go through airport security with a cookie gun. I just have a bad feeling about it. Does airport security like doughnuts as much as local police?

2) Britain invaded Afghanistan in the 19th century. Russia invaded it in 1980. Both countries got kicked out. Neither nation’s army carried chocolate doughnuts. However, America there in 2002 with 100,000 soldiers armed to the teeth with chocolate doughnuts. We’re still in Afghanistan.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Juice And Sugar-Glazed Ham

Posted on August 14, 2012 by pauldelancey

American Entree

JUICE AND SUGAR-GLAZED HAM

INGREDIENTS

8.84 pounds spiral-cut ham
1/2 cup pear juice
1/2 cup orange juice
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup honey
1 tablespoons grated orange peel or orange zest
2 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons honey
1 15-ounce can peach halves

SPECIAL UTENSILS

baster
oven thermometer

Serves 8. Takes 2 hours 30 minutes.

PREPARATION

(If you can’t find a spiral-cut ham that weighs exactly 8.84 pounds, then anything from 6 to 10 pounds will do. Remember improvise, improvise, improvise. For example, if your recipe calls for Moroccan camel cheese to be sprinkled atop your Saharan crepe and your guests are arriving in five minutes and all you have is Four-Mexican cheese blend, use the Mexican cheese. At that point you can hope no one notices the substitution, lie about the substitution, or brag about your ability to cook Moroccan-Mexican fusion.)

Meanwhile back at the recipe, grate an orange peel. Place ham, cut end down, in large baking pan. Cook ham according to directions on its package.

Combine pear juice and orange juice in mixing bowl. After one hour of cooking, take the ham out of the oven and baste the ham with the orange-and-pear-juices mixture. This step really is easiest with a baster. Put ham back in oven.

Take ham out of oven. Combine brown sugar, grated orange peels or orange zest, 1/2 cup honey, and 1/4 cup of drippings from ham in second mixing bowl. Picking up the drippings is easiest and safest with a baster. (If you have already cleaned your mixing bowl, you are an outstanding chef and worthy of the admiration of everyone.) Brush this mixture all over the exposed portion of the ham about an hour before the ham is supposed to be done. (You did save the cooking instructions that came with the ham, didn’t you?) Put ham back in oven.

TIDBITS

1) Eating pig is forbidden to Muslims. Eating beef is forbidden to Hindus. Even biting something cooked in the fat of those animals is impermissible.

2) Cartridges used by the world’s armies in 1856 were often coated in animal grease.

3) In 1856, many of the British Army’s soldiers in India were native Muslims or Hindus. The Moslem soldiers thought their cartridges were coated with pig fat. Religious outrage. The Hindus soldiers felt their bullets were dipped in cow fat. Religious outrage.

4) So the native Indian soldiers rebelled against British rule. Thousands and thousands of people died and many atrocities were committed before the British gained the upper hand.

5) See, proper spicing matters, whether in cooking or maintaining a world-wide empire.

6) If only the British had used duck grease to coat their cartridges. Hardly anyone has religious reservations about duck grease.

7) And everyone likes doughnuts.

8) However, may I recommend frying doughnuts made with vegetable oil, acceptable on every continent? We have a lot of nuclear weapons littering the Earth and the next World War is bound to be a downer.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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