Posts Tagged With: anagram

Korean Grilled Steak

Posted on September 1, 2022 by pauldelancey

Korean Entree

GRILLED STEAK

INGREDIENTS

1½ pounds sirloin
2 teaspoons sesame oil (2 tablespoons more later)
3 garlic cloves
1½” ginger root
3 stalks green onions
1 tablespoon brown sugar
2 tablespoons rice vinegar
2 tablespoons sesame oil (1 tablespoon per batch)
2 teaspoons toasted sesame seeds or sesame seeds

SPECIAL UTENSIL

electric griddle (Should you wish to use an outdoor or tabletop grill, please do so before slicing.)

Serves 4. Takes 1 hour 20 minutes.

PREPARATION

Tightly wrap sirloin in plastic. Put in freezer for 40 minutes or until the meat is just firm enough to be thinly sliced. Slice sirloin into strips as thin as you can.

While sirloin firms, mince garlic. Grate ginger root. Dice green onions. Add garlic, ginger root, green onions, brown sugar, rice vinegar, 2 teaspoons sesame oil, and sesame seeds to mixing bowl. Mix with spoon until well blended.

Spread 1 tablespoon sesame oil over griddle. Set heat to medium high. Sear sirloin strips for 2 minutes or until the bottom side browns nicely. Turn strips over and sear again for 2 minutes or until the new bottom side also browns nicely. Serve with sauce on the side. Goes well with rice.

TIDBITS

1) John Keats belonged to the Second Generation of Romantic Poets. Keats’ poems were really good reads. Indeed, his poems often made number one on The Top Ten British Poems. Indeed, who can forget his evocative “Ode to a Nightingale?” No one who’s read it will ever forget it. Of course, those who’ve never read that poem will never forget it either. So no one, then.

2) Keats remains beloved by chefs everywhere for his brilliant culinary poetry. Ask any chef about their favorite poems. They will invariably reply, “Ode to a Three Ingredient Meal” and “The Rigors of the Twelve Hour Shift.” Keats, of course, is also famous for his memoir, Two Years Before the Cattle Herd. It’s a rip-roaring yarn. During that drive, Keats dazzled his fellow drovers by cooking up a slab of beef. An anagram-prone drover named the new dish “Steak” in honor of Keats. There.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Madagascan Varenga (Shredded Beef)

Posted on February 5, 2022 by pauldelancey

Madagascan Entree

VARENGA
(Shredded Beef)

INGREDIENTS

⅔ onion
1¾ pounds beef chuck, boneless
7 cups water
1 garlic clove
1 tablespoon salt
1 tablespoon fresh parsley

SPECIAL UTENSIL

8″ * 11″ casserole dish

Serves 4. Takes 4 hours.

PREPARATION

Dice onion and parsely. Add all ingredients except parsley to large pot. Bring to boil using high heat. Reduce heat to low. Simmer at medium heat for 3 hours or until beef chuck can be shredded easily with a fork. (Add water as necessary to keep meat covered.)

Heat oven to 400 degrees. Transfer meat and liquid from pot to casserole dish. Roast for 30 minutes or until chuck at top is crispy and browned. Dice parsley. Garnish with parsley. Goes well with rice.

TIDBITS

1) Road rage occurs when drivers lose control of their temper and drive aggressively. If only there existed a cure for road rage. There isn’t such a thing, but there might be soon.

2) Madagascar recently suffered through a frightening year of van rage. In this case, van drivers became prone to road rage. No other car drivers fell prey to this anger. Indeed, drivers of hatch backs, pickup trucks, and all sorts of HondasTM were found to be particularly serene motorists.

3) Then Minister of Transportation, an avid anagramist, discovered that “van rage” was an anagram for “Varenga.” He said, “Why not have all van drivers eat Varenga every day?. Maybe our Varenga will calm them down.”

4) It did! All angry van drivers became pussy cats when they hit the road. Now, transportation officials all over the globe are frantically searching for food anagrams for “road rage.” This promises to be a daunting task as the words for “road rage” are different in all languages. The calming anagramic food will thus be another dish for each way of speaking.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Chicharrones

Posted on March 10, 2021 by pauldelancey

Mexican Appetizer

CHICHARRONES

INGREDIENTS

2 pounds pork skin*
1 cup lard
½ teaspoon salt

* = The best source is a Mexican supermarket. It can be quite difficult to find online.

SPECIAL UTENSIL

electric skillet

Serves 8. Takes 1 hour 20 minutes.

PREPARATION

Cut pork skin into 3″ squares. Add lard to electric skillet. Heat lard at 375 degrees until a tiny bit of pork skin will start to dance in the oil. Use spatula to carefully add pork-skin squares to electric skillet. Be careful, adding the squares might cause the hot oil to splatter. (May I suggest wearing an apron, standing an arm-length from the skillet and holding the skillet lid in the other hand when adding the squares?)

Fry the pork squares at 375 degrees for 35 minutes or until the pork skin starts to pop and then turn golden brown. Stir frequently to the squares from sticking to the bottom of the skillet and burning. Remove deep-fried pork squares, chicharrones, and let cool on paper towels. Sprinkle with salt. Chicharrones may be eaten as is or broken into smaller pieces.

TIDBITS

1) Ronaldo Gonzalez used to operate a Mexican supermarket. One of his items was chicharrones. This clever Ronaldo did anagrams in his spare time. He soon discovered that chicarrones is an anagram for Ron’s Chic Hare.

2) He asked his wife, Desdemona, a talented seamstress to design a stylish outfit for his hare, Harry. Here is her design. I’m sure you’ll agree that the outfit is très chic.

3) Indeed, D&R Designers, in just two years has leaped from selling a hundred hare outfits to dominating the global rabbit clothing scene. Runway shows for bunny models appear to be their next business step. Tryouts will be held soon.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Chicken Fried Steak

Posted on March 25, 2018 by pauldelancey

American Entree

CHICKEN FRIED STEAK

INGREDIENTS

2¼ cups flour
½ teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon salt
1¾ cups buttermilk
1 egg
8 4-ounce cube steaks
1 cup vegetable oil
4 cups whole milk

Serves 8. Takes 50 minutes.

PREPARATION

Add flour, garlic powder, pepper, and salt to large mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended. Add buttermilk and egg to medium mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended. Dredge steak through flour mix. Dredge steak through buttermilk mix. Dredge steak once more through flour mix. Repeat for each steak. SAVE flour and buttermilk mixes remaining in mixing bowls.

Add vegetable oil to large skillet. Heat oil using medium-high heat. It will be hot enough when tiny pinch of buttermilk starts to dance in the oil. Add as many steaks as will fit in the skillet without touching. (You might need to cook in batches.) Fry for 4 minutes on each side or until golden brown. (Times decrease with successive batches.)Place steaks on plates covered with paper towels.

Reduce heat to low-medium. Discard all but ⅓ cup liquid from the pan. Leave as much solid bits as possible in the pan. Add remaining flower mix and buttermilk mixl. Mix with wooden spoon until well blended while scrapping bottom of skillet with spoon to ensure even distribution of bits. Add milk. Stir with spoon until you have a well-blended gravy. Raise heat to medium and simmer for 7 minutes or until gravy thickens. Stir enough to keep gravy from burning. Place steaks on plates. Ladle gravy over steaks.

TIDBITS

1) Chicken Fried Steak is an anagram for Chicken Fired Keats. Keats was a romantic poet during the early nineteenth century, also known as the nine teeth century due to poor dental hygiene. His publisher was a chicken who took ill one day. Keat’s brought his boss chicken-noodle soup. Couldn’t hurt, he thought. But strange to say, the chicken took offense and fired the poet just after publishing his worst poems, Ode To A Doorknob. People stopped reading Keats. He became depressed, so much so that he up and died. Then suddenly in the 1920s, the American South experienced Romantic Poet Mania, none more than Chef Scalding of the famed Bella Bellum Hotel. Indeed the Chef named his newly created chicken fried steak after the poet’s dramatic incident. But Scalding was dyslexic and that is why the dish is now known as Chicken Fried Steak.

Leave a message. I’d like to hear from you.

Chef Paul

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Xin Xim (chicken and shrimp stew)

Posted on September 17, 2016 by pauldelancey

Brazilian Entree

XIN XIM
(chicken and shrimp stew)

xinximINGREDIENTS

3 garlic cloves
⅓ cup lime juice
2 tablespoons olive oil (2 more tablespoons later)
½ teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons olive oil
1½ pounds boneless chicken breasts
1½ pounds boneless chicken thighs
1 pound jumbo shrimp, peeled and deveined
2 tablespoon olive oil
1 tablespoon palm oil (aka dende), annatto oil, or olive oil (2½ tablespoons more later)
1 large onion
1 green bell pepper
3 plum tomatoes
1½ cups chicken stock
1 ounce dried shrimp or ground dried shrimp
1½ ounces gingerroot
¾ cup cashews
⅓ cup peanuts, roasted and unsalted
2½ tablespoons palm oil (aka dende), annatto oil, or olive oil
1¼ cups coconut milk
⅓ cup fresh cilantro
2 fresh malagueta peppers (These are really hot. Serrano and jalapeno peppers are milder and easier to find)

SPECIAL UTENSIL

food processor
Dutch oven
sonic obliterator

Makes 6 bowls. Takes 2 hours.

PREPARATION

Add garlic cloves to food processor. Blend until you get garlic paste. Add garlic paste, lime juice, 2 tablespoons olive oil, pepper, salt, chicken breasts, chicken thighs, and shrimp to large mixing bowl. Turn the chicken and the shrimp until they are well coated. Cover and marinate for 30 minutes in the refrigerator.

Remove chicken pieces from marinade and pat dry with paper towel. (Keep marinade.) Add chicken pieces and 2 tablespoons olive oil to pan Sauté on medium-high heat for 5 minutes on each side (10 minutes total) or until chicken turns golden brown. Remove and set aside.

Remove shrimp from marinade. Add shrimp and 1 tablespoon palm oil to Dutch oven. Sauté shrimp using high heat for 2 minutes or until shrimp starts to turn pink. Stir frequently. Remove shrimp with its marinade and set aside.

Mince onion. Seed and dice green bell pepper and plum tomatoes. Add onion and bell pepper to Dutch oven. Sauté for 5 minutes using medium-high heat or until onion softens. Add tomato, chicken pieces, and chicken stock. Bring to boil using high heat. Stir occasionally. Cover, reduce heat to low, and simmer stew for 30 minutes. Stir occasionally.

While stew simmers, add dried shrimp, gingerroot, cashews, and peanuts to food processor. Grind using low setting until you get little bits. Stop before they become paste. Add bits to Dutch oven. Stir until bits blend into the chicken stock. Simmer stew for 5 minutes on low heat.

While stews simmers, dice cilantro. (If at this time guests ask when will the meal be ready, zap them with your sonic obliterator. You don’t need that negativity in your kitchen.) Add cilantro, marinated shrimp, 2½ tablespoons palm oil, coconut milk, and malagueta peppers. Simmer on low heat for 5 minutes and shrimp are pink and the chicken is tender. Serve with golden farofa (a Brazilian dish made from cassava flour) or rice.

TIDBITS

1) Xin xim is an anagram for Xi minx. My 1941 dictionary says a minx is a hussy or a wanton. Xi is something inconsequential and boring. Qi is a word that no one ever speaks because no one knows what it means. It’s worth a lot in ScrabbleTM, though.

2) However, the anagram for “Chicken and Shrimp Stew” is “Mr. Ken’s pecan witch dish.” Mr. Ken Appleby was an Englishman working in Madrid in 1587 for the Spanish Inquisition. He never learned Spanish. Didn’t make interrogating his prisoners difficult?

3) Yes, it did. While his fellow Spanish-speaking inquisitors we’re putting prisoners on racks and extorting confessions with assembly-line efficiency, Ken lagged behind something considerable. Because he couldn’t understand the anguished admissions of his heretics, he had to resort to charades to communicate.

4) Except a person tied down and stretched out to pro-basketball lengths made a poor charade partner. So, Ken never tied down his prisoners. He fed them his pecan pie. Ken’s pies were delicious. People would confess to anything to eat one and they did. His pies were to die for and they did. Especially witches, who as everyone knows, break out in hives when they eat pecans. Ken was able to find one witch after another. He began a rapid ascent up the inquisitor ladder.

5) Then Spain and England went to war in 1588. A death warrant was put out for Ken. His happy days over, Ken fled to Brazil. However, his fame as with pecan pies preceded him. His life was still in danger. Fortunately an anagramist said his dish was anagram for chicken and shrimp stew. The Brazilians called his new culinary creation, xin xim, because they have words for everything. There.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Crispy Fish Taco

Posted on August 11, 2016 by pauldelancey

Mexican Entree

CRISPY FISH TACO

INGREDIENTSFishTaco-

⅓ cup mayonnaise
1½ cups coleslaw mix or shredded cabbage
2 tablespoons oil (2 additional tablespoons later)
8 corn tortillas
2 tablespoons butter
2 garlic cloves
1 pound cod, tilapia, or orange roughy fillets
½ tablespoon lime juice
½ teaspoon cumin
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 cup melon salsa (See above recipe) or mango salsa

SPECIAL UTENSILS

electric skillet
9″ loaf pan

Makes 8 tacos. Takes 35 minutes.

PREPARATION

Add mayonnaise and coleslaw mix to mixing bowl. Mix with fork. Add 2 tablespoons vegetable oil to skillet. Heat oil to 375 degrees. The oil is hot enough if it sizzles when a tortilla is added. Add 1 tortilla at a time. Suté tortilla for 20 seconds on each side or until tortilla is crispy but still flexible enough to be folded. Fold tortilla in half and place it upright in loaf pan. Put a paper towel on each side of tortilla to drain off grease. Repeat for 8 remaining tortillas.

Melt butter in pan using medium heat. Dice garlic cloves. Add fish and lime juice to mixing bowl. Turn fish until well coated. Add garlic and cumin to bowl. Turn fish fillets until well coated with garlic and cumin.

Add 2 tablespoons vegetable oil to pan. Cook on medium heat until a few bubbles appear. Carefully add fish fillets to pan. (Holding the pan’s lid between you and the pan with our other hand is often a good idea in these situations.) Sauté for about 3 minutes on each side or until fish fillets flake easily with fork. Remove from heat. Put ⅛ of the fish flakes in a crispy tortilla. Add 3 tablespoons of mayonnaise/coleslaw mix to tortilla. Top with 2 tablespoons of melon salsa. Repeat for each taco.

TIDBITS

1) Psychic factors are afoot.

2) How do I know this?

3) An anagram for “crispy fish taco” is “psychic factors.”

4) Would I have gotten the same anagram with “crispy beef tacos?”

5) No, in that cash the anagram would have been “pbycee factors.”

6) There is no such thing as pbycee factors, although there are crispy beef tacos. Spooky.

7) So, what inspired me to make up a recipe for crispy beef tacos or even for the throw-caution-to-the wind crispy chicken tacos?

8) Psychic factors. Proof you cannot deny.

10) Who or what are responsible for these psychic factors making me make crispy fish tacos, specifically using cod as the seafood of choice?

11) Crayfish optometrists. Their organization is called Crayfish OpticsTM. Crayfish Optics wants to drive every human optician and optometrist in Louisiana out of business.

12) Why? There’s much more money to be made treating human eyes than those of crayfish. Always has been.

13) There’s also an urgent, ugly side to the crayfish optometrists desire to make people like me post recipes like this one. The crayfish know people will always will eat seafood. They want their cod brethren to give up their lives for our recipes, not themselves. It’s a fish eat fish world down there.

14) Why don’t cod notice these deadly attempts by the crayfish? I know there’s really no room for advancement for cod as such, but still, why not resist?

15) The cod don’t have time to notice how their being substituted into more and more recipes and menus. They obsess over every little detail in their little fish world. Cod are OCD. OCD is an anagram for cod. Proof you cannot deny.

16) Why hasn’t the vaunted Louisiana Marine Outreach and Intelligence Investigation Agency (LMOIIA) caught onto the nefarious plans of Crayfish Optics?

17) Simple, most Louisianans refer to crayfish as crawfish. So, the LMOIIA is only looking for activity from crawfish.

18) But how can the grate LMOIIA, try saying that real fast, be thrown off by such a simple trick as changing the “w” in crawfish?

19) Sad to say, Louisiana’s budget woes have affected all its agencies, none more than LMOIIA. LMOIIA’s people just don’t have the people or the resources to see through such a simple trick. The crawfish know this. They keep up on the state’s finances. Cod-killing bastards.

Chef Paul

LutheranCookbook

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, are available in paperback or Kindle on amazon.com

The cookbook is also available as an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

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Ajam Roedjak (Sweet and Spicy Chicken)

Posted on February 22, 2016 by pauldelancey

Indonesian Entree

AJAM ROEDJAK
(Sweet and Spicy Chicken)

INGREDIENTS*AjamRoedjak-

2 pounds chicken breasts
2 garlic cloves
7 kemirie or macadamian nuts
3½ tablespoons peanut oil
½ tablespoon grated ginger
2 teaspoons grated galangal or grated ginger
½ teaspoon salt
1 15-ounce can coconut milk
1 bay leaf (Indian bay leaf, if you can find it.)
1 teaspoon sambal badjak, sambal oelek, or sriracha sauce
1½ tablespoons ketjap manis or soy sauce
1teaspoon palm sugar or sugar

* = I’m not being indecisive. Some of these ingredients can be hard to find.

Makes 4 bowls. Takes 1 hour.

PREPARATION

Cut chicken into 1″ cubes. Add garlic cloves and kemirie nuts to food processor. Blend the cloves and nuts into a paste. Add oil and chicken cubes to pan. Sauté for 5 minutes at medium heat or until chicken is no longer pink.. Stir occasionally. Remove chicken.

Add garlic/kemirie paste, galangal, ginger, salt to pan. Sauté for 2 minutes at medium heat or until paste begins to dry. Stir constantly. Add sautéed chicken cubes, coconut milk, bay leaf, sambal badjak, ketjap manis, and sugar. Bring to boil using high heat. Stir frequently. Cover, reduce heat to low and simmer for 35 minutes or until sauce thickens. Stir occasionally. Goes well with rice.

TIDBITS

1) Ajam roedjak is served in the U.S. Senate’s cafeteria and is, of course, an anagram for Jajk* Adam – redo. Jack Adam works for the federal government and is the one person who types the recently enacted laws onto the official form which is then transmitted throughout the land.

3) Unfortunately, Mr. Adam is often tipsy when typing in the new laws. This results in many mistakes, such as “Thou shall commit adultery.” Digusted lawmakers sent back the typo-riddled law form with the note, “Jack Adam – redo.” If Jack is still drunk, the laws get mistyped again and he gets another note. This continues until he is sober. This is why it takes congress so long to pass laws.

* = Jajk is a deliberate typo for Jack. Who says senators don’t have a sense of humor?

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Beef, Spinach, and Peanut Stew from South Sudan

Posted on December 6, 2015 by pauldelancey

South Sudanese Entree

BEEF, SPINACH, AND PEANUT STEW

INGREDIENTSSouthSudan-

1¼ pounds chuck steak or round steak
3 garlic cloves
2 medium onions
2½ tomatoes
2 bunches spinach (1 pound)
½ sweet potato
4 tablespoons unsalted, roasted peanuts (4 teaspoons more later)
2 tablespoons peanut oil
3 cups beef stock
½ tablespoon tomato paste
4 teaspoons unsalted, roasted peanuts
½ cup unsweetened peanut butter

SPECIAL UTENSIL

spice grinder
Dutch oven

Makes 6 bowls. Takes 1 hour 45 minutes.

PREPARATION

Cut beef into 1″ cubes. Mince garlic. Dice onions and tomatoes. Remove stems from spinach, then shred. Cut sweet potato into ½” cubes. Use spice grinder to make a paste from 4 tablespoons peanuts.

Add peanut oil and beef cubes to Dutch oven. Cook at medium heat for 6 minutes or until beef browns. Stir occasionally. Add garlic and onion. Raise heat to medium-high and sauté for 5 minutes or until onion and garlic softens. Stir in beef stock and tomato paste. Bring to boil using high heat. Stir occasionally. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 50 minutes or until beef becomes tender and stock is reduced by ½. Stir occasionally. Add sweet potato and 4 teaspoons peanuts. Simmer for 15 minutes. Stir occasionally.

Add peanut paste, and peanut butter. Simmer for 5 minutes or until peanut paste and peanut butter blends completely in. Stir frequently. Add spinach and tomato. Raise heat to low-medium and simmer for 10 minutes or until the oil from the peanut paste and peanut butter makes the stew shiny. Goes well with rice and flatbread.

TIDBITS

1) This entree is a stew. Stew is an anagram for west.

2) The Sun sets in the west.

3) Peanuts hate the Sun, because it’s bad for their complexion.

4) So, they dig into the ground to avoid the piercing rays of light.

5) Peanuts never get very far into the soil, though.

6) They don’t have opposable thumbs. You need opposable thumbs to hold hoes and shovels.

7) Nor do peanuts have any hands to speak of, really.

8) Which is why farmers never hire peanuts during harvest time, only humans.

9) Still, the Sun burns the little ground nuts.

10) The Sun rises in the east and sets in the west.

11) So, the peanuts migrate to the west in the morning and back east in the afternoon. They end up in the same place, which is why no one ever notices them moving.

12) Things get ugly, though, when herds of peanuts cross the same interstate freeway. Traffic halts. The traffic jam grows to includes connecting freeways and highways. The economy halts.

14) That’s not all. Giant herds of peanuts moving back and forth along the ground dislodge the Earth’s plates. Earthquakes result as in San Francisco in 1906

15) Indeed, peanut migrations have caused the Earth’s plates to shift. Before peanuts came on the scene there was only one continent, Pangaea.

16) Something had to be done and in 1939 all the nations gathered in Poway, California to discuss the looming peanutian threat.

17) Then, on September 1, Hitler invaded Poland and World War II broke out. Country after country uprooted their peanut fields to feed their rampaging armies. Fewer migrating peanuts meant fewer earthquakes during the war years. You can look it up.

18) The leaders of the major victorious powers: Roosevelt, Churchill, and Stalin, knew it would be a matter of time before another Hitler would arise or peanuts would make their comeback. Perhaps, the next megalomanic dictator would even gather the peanuts of the world to his standard.

19) The United Nations was formed in 1945 to gather this very threat. An elite anti-peanut battalion was formed and peanut farming within 100 miles of fault lines was banned forever.

20) Something to think about when you have your next peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Chicken Piccata

Posted on November 21, 2015 by pauldelancey

Italian Entree

CHICKEN PICCATA

INGREDIENTSChickenPiccata-

4 (6 ounce) chicken breasts
3 tablespoons flour
⅛ teaspoon pepper
¼ teaspoon salt
¼ cup butter
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 table spoons chicken broth
¼ cup white wine
3 tablespoons lemon juice
2 tablespoons drained capers
1 tablespoon parsley

SPECIAL UTENSIL

kitchen mallet

Makes 4 plates. Takes 25 minutes

PREPARATION

Pound chicken breasts with kitchen mallet until they are ½” thick. Add flour, pepper, and salt to mixing bowl. Mix with fork or whisk. Dredge chicken through flour mixture.

Add butter to pan. Melt butter on medium heat. Stir frequently. Add olive oil. Add as many chicken breasts that will fit. Cover and sauté at medium heat for 2 minutes on each side or until chicken is cooked through. Repeat for remaining chicken breasts. Remove chicken breasts to serving plates. Add chicken broth. wine, and lemon juice to pan. Bring to boil at high heat. Boil for 2 minutes or until sauce starts to thicken. Stir frequently. Ladle sauce evenly over chicken breasts. Sprinkle capers and parsley evenly over sauce.

TIDBITS

1) The Gold Rush of 1849 drew poodles and oodles of French prospectors to California. Nineteenth-century French prospectors loved escargots. (Escargot is snail in English. The French have a word for everything.)

2) But California’s snails did not please the refined Gallic pallets. Mais non, suitable escargots had to be brought in from far-away New Orleans. Escargot trail drives were out. Snails do not last long under the hot Western Sun, especially before the invention of hydrating GatoradeTM. The Escargot Express was born. The most famous driver on this route was none other than Cacti Pa. Cacti loved chicken, wine, lemon juice, and capers. Station chefs along the route served him this entree, calling it “Piccata” in honor of the anagram loving Cacti Pa. And so it goes.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Baked Vidalia Onion

Posted on June 7, 2015 by pauldelancey

American Entree

BAKED VIDALIA ONION

INGREDIENTSBakedVidaliaOnion-

1 Vidalia onion
1 tablespoon butter
1 beef bouillon cube
½ teaspoon sherry

Makes 1 onion. Takes 1 hour 10 minutes. If you wish to serve everyone in the world, multiply ingredients by 7,000,000,000. You will need a big oven and most likely will want some help.

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Slice off a thin disk from the top of the onion. Peel the onion. Do not remove the root. Use potato peeler to make a cone-shaped hole in the middle of the onion. The hole should be about 1″ wide at the top and taper to a point at the bottom. The hole should stop 1″ from the bottom of the onion. Cut onion into thirds down the sides, stopping ½” from the bottom. Goodness.

Place a pat or slivers of butter equal to 1 teaspoon into each of the three cuts on the sides of the onion. Add bouillon cube and sherry in the onion’s cone-shaped hole. Wrap tightly in foil. Bake at 350 degrees for 1 hour or until onion is tender. Place tray underneath to catch drippings. Open foil slowly to let hot steam escape. Serve in a bowl as there will be broth.

TIDBITS

1) N.B. Ull was just one of thousands of wildcat oil men looking for oil in Hawaii in the 1880s. Why were oil men looking for oil in Hawaii? The weather, of course, it’s great there. And the sunsets and those drinks with the pink umbrellas and the hula dancers swaying back and forth and . . . Anyway, the oil men drilled and drilled and eventually gave up to go back to the beaches to watch the sunsets and swaying native dancers and . . . Anyway, Mr. Ull persevered month after month and Pow! A black, plume spurted into the sky. Only it wasn’t oil. It was something culinary..

2) Anagrammists rushed to the spot and rearranged N.B. Ull and Oil to form the anagram Bouillon. Unfortunately, whenever anagrammists gather in great numbers they get agitated, especially when there are no drinks with pink umbrellas in them because failed oil men have drunk them all. In this case, the excited wordsters fomented revolution against the Hawaiian Monarchy. Businessmen, fearing anarchy, successfully petitioned the U.S. to annex these idyllic islands. Something to think about whenever you enjoy bouillon or rearrange a word’s letters.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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