Posts Tagged With: Lutheran

My Favorite Restaurants – Mother’s, New Orleans

Posted on April 27, 2021 by pauldelancey

New Orleans is chock full of superb dining establishments. However, my favorite one, the one I always go to whenever I have the good fortune to visit the Crescent City is Mother’s Restaurant.

Mother’s claims it serves the “World’s Best Baked Ham.” I have to agree. However, I am a sucker for dipped, hot sandwiches. I nearly always go for their Ferdi Special.

As you can see from the picture on the right, the place displays a modest decor, while the many photos on the brick are of celebrities who made a point to going to Mother’s.

The omnipresent long line outside to get into the restaurant, shows the enduring popularity of this historic eatery. Be sure to pick out your dining choices as you make way in the line to the counter; there are lots of people behind waiting to get in.

As I mentioned above, my favorite dish at Mother’s is the Famous Ferdi Special. It’s a po’ boy with ham and roast beef. Be sure to ask for it with “debris.” Debris is the bits of roast beef that fall into the gravy while carving. This po’ boy is so good that ordering any of their other fine dishes feels like having an affair on the Ferdi Special. But what an affair, it would be. I recommend trying the World’s Best Baked Ham Dinner, the Ham Po’ Boy, the Gulf Shrimp Po’ Boy, Red Beans and Rice with ham, and Shrimp Creole.

Google Maps(tm) describes Mother’s Restaurant as “Greasy spoon with Southern comfort food.” And how! I’m getting rather hungry writing this blog. So let me leave after listing their tasty sides: cabbage, turnip greens, red beans & rice, Jake’s green beans with tomatoes, grits, cheese grits, potato salad, and French fries.

I want to go back to Mother’s Restaurant. You should go too.

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: book reviews and excerpts, cuisine, humor | Tags: apocalyptic, comfort food, Comic Chef, cookbook, Crescent City, debris, Ferdi Special, French fries, good food, gravy, grits, Gulf shrimp, ham, Lutheran, Mother's Restaurant, New Orleans, Paul De Lancey, po' boy, recipes, red beans, red beans and rice, restaurant, rice, roast beef, shrimp creole, southern, thriller, turnip greens, world's best baked ham | Leave a comment

Caramelized Banana Cake

Posted on April 25, 2021 by pauldelancey

Cape Verdean Dessert

CARAMELIZED BANANA CAKE

INGREDIENTS

4 eggs
½ cup butter, softened
1½ cups sugar (1¼ cups more later)
½ cup milk
⅛ teaspoon salt
2⅓ cups wheat flour or flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
no-stick spray
4 ripe bananas
⅓ cup water
1¼ cups sugar
no-stick spray

SPECIAL UTENSILS

electric beater
8″ * 12″ cake pan
9″ * 13″ cookie tray
sonic obliterator

Serves 10. Takes 1 hour 20 minutes.

PREPARATION

Separate eggs into yolks and whites. Add butter and 1½ cups sugar to large mixing bowl. Mix with electric beater set on medium until well blended. Add egg yolks, milk, and salt. Mix with electric beater set on medium until well blended. Gradually add wheat flour. Mix with electric beater set on medium until well blended. Add baking powder and egg whites. Mix with electric beater set on medium until this dough is well blended and fluffy. Spray cake pan with no-stick spray.

Cut each banana into 6 circles. Add water and 1¼ cups sugar to pan. Warm sugar using low-medium heat until it begin to melt. Stir enough to keep sugar from burning and clumping. Reduce heat to low and continue warming sugar until it melts completely and turns a caramel brown. Stir constantly. Pour this caramel immediately into cake pan. (Don’t let it set.) dish. Smooth with spatula.

Place banana circles evenly over caramel. (Be careful if caramel is hot.) Spoon dough over bananas. Bake for 30 minutes at 350 degrees or until a toothpick stuck in middle of cake comes out clean. Loosen cake by sliding spatula around the edges and, as far as possible, under the bottom. Put cookie tray on top of cake pan. Carefully turn cake pan and cookie tray upside down. Tap cake pan with knife. Say a brief prayer. Lift cake pan. Cake should come out cleanly onto cookie tray. Let sit until cool. Serve to adoring guests. Zap unappreciative ones with sonic obliterator.

TIDBITS

1) One of the most beloved form of communal games of gambling is craps. Just go to any casino. Any time you hear a loud roar of happiness, it is quite likely it came from the craps table. Of course, as with all gambling choices in a casino, you will likely go home a loser. But you have more fun losing than people playing slot machines. And that’s the main thing.

2) There are two games that come to mind for people to play face to face. They are chess and dominoes.

3) However, chess is mostly a silent game. It’s bad form to disturb, in any way, the player about to make a move. People can take the longest time pondering whether to move their bishop or not. Or where. How long can some players take to move?

4) Eons.

5) Culinary sociologists have determined that chess is the game of choice for prison wardens. The wardens deal with violent and otherwise troublesome prisoners by placing them in solitary confinement.

6) There is always a chess game going in solitary confinement. The guard tells the ingoing inmate whether he is playing for white black. The player looks at the game. His mind goes a mile a minute thinking over the 172,329 possible moves. This takes a while, and lo and behold. just as he moves his chess piece, his time in solitary is over.

7) The head guard then picks the current troublemaker in the chess-game cell and informs this inmate that his is playing the opposite color from that of the previous cell mate.

8) Solitary Prison Cell has become all the rage. Inmates have begun to commit offenses just to play chess in solitary. Prisoners have begun to form chess gangs. The most popular gang names are the White Knights and the Black Bishops. For a while, wardens tried segregating these groups.

9) However, as this policy is proving insufficient in decreasing prison violent, the guards are starting to take away solitary-chess privileges for frequent rule offenders. These men can only play dominoes, a much less violent game. It’s still addicting, though.

10) When prisoners are released, the dominoes players need a good fix of the game. This is why you see people playing dominoes outside a remote, rural general store. But there aren’t many such establishments any more. So dominoes junkies naturally flock to anything that has the big dots on them that dominoes has. What do they do? They can’t play chess anymore. That games doesn’t have dots. Beside, the ex-cons have been conditioned against playing that game? So what do they do?

11) They play craps. The dice in craps have plenty of dots on them, enough for any dominoes junkie. However, as we established in the first tidbit, people who plays craps lose all their money.

12) Then what do these one-time felons due for their dot fix? They eat food with dots on them. Like caramelized banana cake. The bananas in ths dessert look like the dots on a domino tile. (See the above photo.) This is why this dessert is so enormously popular around the world. Now you know.

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: cuisine, international, obsevations | Tags: apocalyptic, banana, bananas, bishop, cake, Cape Verde, Cape Verdean, caramel, caramelized, casinos, chess, Comic Chef, confinement, cookbook, craps, dessert, domino, dominoes, eggs, gambling, general store, good food, hilarious, inmates, junkies, knight, Lutheran, Paul De Lancey, prisoners, recipes, slot machines, sociologists, solitary, thriller | Leave a comment

When Uranus Was Called George

Posted on April 24, 2021 by pauldelancey

Yes, from 1781 to 1851 the planet Uranus was really called George. It’s official title was Georgium Sidus, but no one said that. George was discovered by the amateur astronomer William Herschel. Way to go Herschel! King George III rewarded Herschel for his discovery by appointing him Court Astronomer and asking him to move close to the royal family. Herschel, grateful for such recognition, named the new planet Georgium Sidus in honor of his royal patron.

French astronomers did not like the new name, however, as their country had been fighting George III’s for centuries. They proposed calling it “Herschel.” Then in 1851, a bunch of planet namers got together. They noted that all the other planets were named after Greek and Romans gods. They further observed that George, as powerful as he was, was not, in fact, a mythological god. Nothing got past these guys. So they renamed the eighth planet, Uranus.

I rather like the idea of calling a planet, “George.” What would you call Uranus?

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: apocalyptic, astronomer, Comic Chef, cookbook, French, George III, good food, Lutheran, Paul De Lancey, recipes, Roman gods, royal family, thriller, Uranus, William Herschel | 2 Comments

Stifado (Stew from Cyprus)

Posted on April 22, 2021 by pauldelancey

Cypriot Entree

STIFADO
(Stew)

INGREDIENTS

2 pounds stewing beef
2 pounds frozen pearl onions*
½ tablespoon fresh rosemary
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 bay leaves
3 cups beef stock
3″ cinnamon stick
2 cloves
¾ teaspoon pepper
1½ cups red wine
2½ tablespoons red wine vinegar
water, if liquid cooks away too soon

* = Fresh pearl onions will taste a bit better than frozen ones. But my gosh, the fresh ones have to be peeled. You can speed up the peeling process by boiling, plunging them into cold water, and squeezing the pearl onion out of its skin. This peeling took me 40 minutes the one and only time I tried. I’d rather join the French Foreign Legion than do it again. Buy the frozen ones.

Serves 4. Takes 2 hours 30 minutes.

PREPARATION

Cut stewing beef into 1″ cubes. Peel pearl onions, if necessary. Dice rosemary. Add olive oil and beef cubes to large pan. Sauté at medium-high heat until all sides brown. Stir occasionally. Add pearl onions. Sauté at medium heat until onions soften. Stir frequently.

Add remaining ingredients. Stir until completely blended. Put lid on pan. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 1 hour 40 minutes or meat becomes quite tender and the liquid reduces to a thick sauce. Stir occasionally. (Add water as necessary, if liquid evaporates completely before beef cubes become tender.) Remove bay leaves and cinnamon stick.

TIDBITS

1) America’s Prohibition banned the selling and consumption of alcohol. If you were a barkeep and sold a customer a large whiskey, you were liable to arrest by a lurking cop. And your bar would be shut down. So customers took to calling a large whiskey, a stiff one. Such subterfuge, fooled the police only for a bit. They were naturally suspicious that a liquid that looking like whiskey, and being sold in a speakeasy was, in fact, whiskey. So, whiskey dens took to injecting avocados with whiskey. They called the new concoction “stifado,” a combination of “stiff one” and “avocado”. A visiting chef from Cyprus so loved the stifado, that he named his signature stew, “Stifado.” Now you know.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: cuisine, history | Tags: America, apocalyptic, Comic Chef, cookbook, Cypriot, Cyprus, entree, good food, Lutheran, olive oil, Paul De Lancey, pearl onions, Prohibition, recipes, rosemary, speakeasy, stew, stifado, thriller, whiskey | Leave a comment

Why Editors Are Important – #1, Trump Awards . . .

Posted on April 21, 2021 by pauldelancey

Whoa, I wouldn’t expect to get much production out of a company that has been given $1.3. Suppose the CEO gets a coffee from the company cafeteria for $1.25. Subtract that from the award of $1.30 and you get a nickel. The company’s research and development department would burn through five cents in particularly no time at all. And then the project would necessarily shut down for lack of funds.

I know, I know, if you read further, the article does say $1.3 B, which makes the shock value of getting nothing in return somewhat greater that it would be for $1.30. Still, that’s what the headline said and it made me smile.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: apocalyptic, CEO, coffee, Comic Chef, cookbook, editors, good food, hunks, important, Lutheran, Paul De Lancey, recipes, research and development, thriller, Trump | 4 Comments

Syrian Meatloaf

Posted on April 19, 2021 by pauldelancey

Syrian Entree

SYRIAN MEATLOAF
(lahme bil sanieh)

INGREDIENTS

1 tablespoon butter, softened
1 large onion
2 pounds ground beef
1 teaspoon Aleppo pepper or black pepper
2½ teaspoons pomegranate syrup*
1 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
3 Roma tomatoes

* = Found in Middle Easter or World supermarkets

SPECIAL UTENSILS

8″ casserole dish
mandoline (optional)

Serves 4. Takes 50 minutes

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Coat casserole dish with butter. Dice onion. Add beef, onion, Aleppo pepper, pomegranate syrup, and salt to large mixing bowl. Mix with hands until well blended. Add beef/onion mix from bowl to casserole dish. Smooth surface with spatula. Gently poke about 30 shallow holes in meat. Drizzle vegetable oil over meat. (The shallow holes you made let the oil get into meat.) Slice tomatoes ¼” thick with mandoline or knife. Arrange tomato slices over meat. Bake at 350 degrees for 35 minutes.

TIDBITS

1) 1,000,000 B.C. – 1519: Nothing happens in history on in cooking.
1519 – Conquistador Cortez brings tomatoes back to Spain. People don’t eat the pretty plants.
1595 – Europeans note that tomatoes are part of the poisonous nightshade family. The French also believe that tomatoes, pommes d’amour, have aphrodisiacal properties. Tomatoes still aren’t eaten.
1872: Tomatoes first appear in an ingredient in a American recipe for tomato chowder.
1870s: The modern American meatloaf appears on the scene.
1894: Joseph Campbell cans condensed tomato soup. This proves wildly successful.
1929-1939: The Great American Depression forces starving family to extend precious protein to great lengths. Making meatloaf ensures that everyone gets some beef. All Americans eat meatloaf.
1949: LegoTM starts producing Legos. Legos look like squares with four raised dots.
1962: Syria gains its independence. Syria starts making meatloaf. Its meatloaf squares have four raised tomatoes slices. Was this meatloaf inspired by Legos? I like to think so.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: Aleppo pepper, American, American depression, aphrodisical, apocalyptic, Campbell, chowder, Comic Chef, condensed tomato souo, conquistador, cookbook, Cortez, depression, entree, good food, hunks, independence, lahme bil sanieh, Lego, Lutheran, meatloaf, nightshade, Paul De Lancey, poisonous, pomegranate, recipes, Roma, Spain, Syria, Syrian, syrup, thriller | Leave a comment

Pudim de Coco (Coconut Pudding)

Posted on April 12, 2021 by pauldelancey

East Timorese

PUDIM DE COCO
(Coconut Pudding)

INGREDIENTS

1¾ cups sugar
5 eggs
2 cups coconut milk
2½ tablespoons cornstarch
3 tablespoons coconut flakes (optional)

SPECIAL UTENSILS

6-to-8 cups baking dish or casserole dish
9″ x 13″ casserole dish* (Must be longer and wider than baking dish)
sonic obliterator

Serves 6. Takes 1 hours 20 minutes plus 6 hours in refrigerator.

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Add sugar to pan. Melt sugar using low-medium heat until it begin to melt. Stir enough to keep sugar from burning and clumping. Reduce heat to low and continue warming sugar until it melts completely and turns a caramel brown. Stir constantly. Remove immediately from heat. (Don’t let it solidify.) Pour this caramelized sugar right away into baking dish. Smooth it with spatula.

Add eggs to mixing bowl. Blend eggs thoroughly with whisk. Add coconut milk and cornstarch. Mix with whisk until this custard becomes smooth. Ladle mixture over caramelized sugar. Put baking dish into casserole dish. Add hot water until it is 1″ high in the casserole dish. Bake for 35 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into the middle of pudding comes out clean.

Loosen pudding by sliding spatula around the edges and, as far as possible, the bottom. Put plate on top of casserole dish. Carefully turn casserole dish and plate upside down. Tap casserole dish with knife. Say a brief prayer. Lift casserole dish. Pudding should come out cleanly onto plate. Spoon liquid caramel on plate onto the caramel already on top of pudding.

Let sit in refrigerator for 6 hours or overnight. If desired, garnish with coconut flakes. Serve to adoring guests. Use sonic obliterator on any guest who gives you guff in any way. You cannot afford to let any threat or insult to your authority as chef go unchallenged.

TIDBITS

1) Many of you would look at the picture for this recipe and declare, “Why someone has hungry. That person was too tempted by the dessert to wait for the chef to take a photo for the cookbook.” And you would be right.

2) Many others. gazing at the photo would say, “Why it looks like a tiny square was taken from a larger square. If only high school geometry had been as tasty.” And you too would be right.

3) But these reasons are not the reason this picture touches your soul so deeply, why it speaks so strongly to your innermost self, why you feel the spirits of generations after generations of primitive ancestors dating back to Olduvai George whispering in your inner ear.

4) Go back into the distant mists of time when Lucy of Olduvai Gorge, your great, great, great, great, . . ., really, really great grandmother saw dust sweeping down, down the gorge to her.

5) Then Lucy heard thundering getting ever closer.

6) She, of course, saw the dust before she heard the accompanying thunder. For light travels at 3 * 10^8 meters per second and sound at 3 * 10^3 meters per second.

7) It is doubtful that Lucy fully grasped the concept of relative velocities. Culinary scientists even discount the notion that Lucy even knew about scientific notion. It is certain, though, that either she never developed the Theory of Relativity or if she had, that she never published it.

8) Oh my gosh, while I speculated about Lucy’s scientific achievements, the dust-shrouded herd got really close. Run, Lucy, run!

9) But the soul of a lion beat in Lucy’s heart. She picked up a stone and hurled it at middle of the dusty cloud. (This is, by the way, the real genesis of the sport of baseball. Now you know.)

10) A creature in the herd shrieked in pain. The thundering stopped. The dust settled. Thousands upon thousands of panting coconut puddings became gradually clearer. “What are they?” wondered Lucy. She gazed at the dead coconut pudding. “Is it edible? I hope so. I’m ever so hungry. And all I ever get to eat are thistlewort berries. I shall eat this meat.”

12) She tore a remarkably square section out of the dead, square coco pudding and ate. She looked at what remained. The photo for this recipe bears an uncanny resemblance to what Lucy saw those millions of years ago.

13) “It tastes great,” shouted Lucy. Her tribe raced toward her. “Eat these squares, eat them. They’re ever so yummy.” And they did. They felt full for the first time ever. Even though they couldn’t articulate the concept, they just knew they had ingested sufficient caloric intake to leave the gorge, leave Africa, and spread humanity all over the Earth. It was the dawning of the Age of Humanity.

14) Unfortunately, the first humans fed themselves almost completely on herds of coco puddings, so much so that coco puddings became extinct. But the hankering for coco pudding never went away. It just went dormant for eons until the Age of Discovery started in the fourteenth century. Fueled by the need for a vegetarian version of coco pudding, European monarchs starting with Henry the Navigator dispatched fleet after fleet in search of sugar, coconut milk, and coconut flakes. They’d eventually find these ingredients. Humanity would once again live in a culinary golden age.

15) Oh, and in doing, we’d chart the entire world. And we owe it all to brave Little Lucy.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: Africa, ancestors, apocalyptic, coconut, Comic Chef, cookbook, Earth, East Timorese, extinction, geometry, good food, Henry the Navigator, high school, Lucy, Lutheran, Olduvai Gorge, Paul De Lancey, pudding, pudim de coco, scientific achievements, sonic obliterator, Theory of Relativity, thriller, velocities | Leave a comment

Matthew’s Pastrami Sandwich

Posted on April 10, 2021 by pauldelancey

American Entree

MATTHEW’S PASTRAMI SANDWICH

INGREDIENTS

8 slices rye, crusty deli bread, or French rolls*
⅓ cup Russian dressing
1½ pounds sliced pastrami**
4 slices Swiss cheese
2 cups coleslaw

SPECIAL UTENSIL***

aluminum foil

* = rye bread is by far the most popular bread for this sandwich. However, I’m listing substitutes as some people can’t abide rye.
** = This is a simple recipe, so the quality of the pastrami is particularly important.
*** = Omit this if you wish to eat a cold sandwich.

Serves 4. Takes 10 minutes if sandwiches are served cold, 30 minutes if the sandwiches are hot.

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 300 degrees. Wrap bread in aluminum foil. Bake at 300 degrees for 10 minutes. (Skip this step if you’re making cold sandwiches.) Spread Russian dressing over 2 slices. Add pastrami to bottom bread slice. Place 1 slice of Swiss on pastrami. Top with coleslaw. Complete sandwich by adding the top slice of bread.

TIDBITS

1) Look at the sandwich in the above picture. If you were to turn one of the sandwich halves upside down, you would still have a pastrami sandwich half. In fact, if you hadn’t done the flipping yourself upside down, you never would have been able to tell.

2) This very thing happened to the budding artist, Auguste Renoir. In 1859, he labored all summer painting the best pastrami sandwich the art world had seen or even would see. He painted with such style and such élan that the directors of the Escalier Galerie asked to display his masterpiece.

3) But quelles horreurs, the oaf in charge of exhibitions hung Renoir’s brilliant “Le sandwich au pastrami” upside down. None of the visiting art lovers nor any of the heads of France’s Académie Française noticed this mistake. No, not enough to articulate their artistic uneasiness. But mon Dieu, their psyches did. The viewers’ souls recoiled. The masses, without knowing why, turned away from Renoir. The painting elite also shunned the young Auguste. Renoir shook his fists at the heavens. “Bah, never again will I faithfully paint reality. Mais non, I shall quickly paint my impressions of life. Nothing more. He did and to his lasting amazement, he became one of the pillars of the impressionist movement. Now you know.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: Académie Française, American, apocalyptic, Auguste Renoir, cheese, coleslaw, Comic Chef, cookbook, dressing, entree, good food, impressionist, Lutheran, pastrami, Paul, recipes, Renoir, Russian, rye, sandwich, Swiss, thriller | Leave a comment

How To Use #5, Clothes Washer, The Second Steps

Posted on April 7, 2021 by pauldelancey

Dear readers,

Congratulations for getting this far! You’ve the mastered the art of moving your clothes from the closet floor to the clothes basket. Pace yourself. Take a deep breath. Visualize your self doing heroic deeds. Ok, let’s go.

1) Open the door to the laundry room. You’ll be amazed by the number of people who forget this humble but necessary step. Take it from me, you simply cannot get yourself and your filled laundry through a closed door. As of press time, the molecules of your clothes, even when not in a basket, cannot pass through the door. Nor yours for that matter.

2) Walk through the open door, like a boss, holding your basket.

3) Put basket down on dryer. You can’t put the clothes into the washer if you put it down on top of its lid.

4) Open container of laundry detergent. Fill little plastic cup that comes with container with laundry detergent.

5) Pour detergent into washing machine.

6) Wipe detergent off closed washing-machine lid. Resolve to see this through. Excelsior!

7) Open washing machine.

8) Repeat steps 4) and 5).

9) Pause and reflect.

10) Load clothes into washer. DO NOT WASH WOOLEN CLOTHES. This is an advanced step. (See step 17 below.)

11) Close lid to washer.

12) Look at the control dials on the washing machine. OMG, OMG, it’s like a NASA space shuttle. Hyperventilate.

13) Breathe into a paper page. Think soothing thoughts, like monarch butterflies flitting over a field of yellow marigolds.

14) Look at the dials again, this time calmly.

15) Realize that the last person who set the dials probably knew what she or he was doing.

16) Leave dials alone.

17) Relax, you’ll be perfectly fine unless you’re washing wool sweaters and the last person to wash clothes set wash temperature to hot. If so, you will shrink your sweaters down to gerbil size. Do you know any gerbils that need woolen sweaters? I didn’t think so.

18) Press start button. Well done, you!

And as always, cleanliness is next to godliness.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: apocalyptic, cleanliness, closet, Comic Chef, cookbook, detergent, gerbils, godliness, good food, laundry, Lutheran, NASA, Paul De Lancey, recipes, Space Shuttle, thriller, washing machine, wool sweaters, woolen sweaters | Leave a comment

How to Commit a Yummy Murder

Posted on April 4, 2021 by pauldelancey

If you’re thinking of committing murder, why not use Twizzlers(tm)? They’re yummy and fatal if used correctly as shown below.

1) Buy several bags. Don’t worry about this, there is no waiting period for buying Twizzlers as can happen for guns.

2) Interweave the short, weak Twizzler pieces into a massive, sturdy candy rope. E Pluribus Unum. “Out of many, one.” This used to be the motto of our great country. By constructing a Twizzler rope you are paying homage to our nation’s founding fathers.

3) Choke your victim with the Twizzler rope. Did your murder make society better off? Did your victim annoy the heck out of everyone he met? If so, give yourself a pat on the back.

4) Eat the Twizzler rope. This act neatly disposes of the murder weapon and honestly, can you really stop yourself from eating all that yummy candy?

5) Call the police and say you found the victim dead and you just don’t know what happened. They might not believe you but without a murder weapon what can they do?

I hope you’ll find this little household tip useful.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

P.S. Murder is actually wrong. Just say no.

P.P.S. Even though murdering spouses eliminates the need for going through nasty, prolonged divorce proceedings, it is still wrong. Just say no to murder. Don’t make me come back there.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: apoclayptic, Comic Chef, e pluribus unum, good food, guns, household tip, how to, Lutheran, murder, Paul De Lancey, police, recipes, thriller, Twizzler, weapon, yummy | Leave a comment

Posts Tagged With: Lutheran

My Favorite Restaurants – Mother’s, New Orleans