Posts Tagged With: grits

Pumpkin Porridge (Sidvudvu)

Swazi Entree

PUMPKIN PORRIDGE
(Sidvudvu)

INGREDIENTS

1 pound pumpkin or butternut pulp
4½ cups water
1 cup maize meal, mealie flour, polenta, grits, or corn flour
¼ teaspoon nutmeg (optional)
½ teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon sugar (optional)

Serves 3. Takes 50 minutes.

PREPARATION

Remove seeds from pumpkin and discard or use them for something else. Remove 1 pound pumpkin pulp from pumpkin. Cut pulp into ½” cubes. Add pumpkin cubes and water to pot. Bring water to boil using high heat. Boil at high heat for 10 minutes or until pumpkin cubes are soft. Stir occasionally. Add maize meal, nutmeg, salt, and sugar. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 5 minutes or until maize meal thickens and has the consistency of porridge. Add water if necessary. Mash with potato masher until there are no pumpkin cubes. Stir with spoon until well blended.

TIDBITS

1) Some 2,000 years ago the top warriors of Swaziland would gather around a truly long serving rectangle full of pumpkin porridge, the food of the warrior class.

2) Naturally, all assumed that the person sitting at the north end of the serving rectangle was the warrior with the most authority; the one with the authority over life and death over the rest. The warriors with the second-most authority sat next to the man at the northern end. As you went further south, prestige ebbed further until the poor man would get told mean knock-knock jokes, get sent out for snipe hunts, and drink milk from expired cartons.

3) Then in 914, Wickus, aligned the serving rectangle east-west instead of north-south. That way, no one man would be closest to the north. No single warrior could hold the power of life and death. Unfortunately, it also meant the whole northern half of the table could claim to have lethal authority and the southern side of the table would go on snipe hunts. Things simmered until 916, when Obed led the southern half in rebellion. They’d been saving expired milk cartons for two years. The food fight got stinky in a hurry. The gasping northen warriors gave in. Felix the Wise arranged the peace. He sat the warriors around a round rotating serving table. All would have an equal time sitting at the north. The northern eater would rule fairly and kindly knowing he’d soon be a southern eater. King Arthur stole the idea of the Table Round, but never gave credit to Felix the Wise. Meanie.

Chef Paul

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Advertisements
Categories: cuisine, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Shrimp And Grits

American Entree

SHRIMP AND GRITS

INGREDIENTSshrimpandgrits

1 cup chicken broth
¾ cup milk
2½ cups water
1 cup grits
¼ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon salt
3 tablespoons butter
1¾ cups grated Cheddar cheese
1 garlic clove
4 stalks green onions
5 bacon strips
1½ pounds shrimp, peeled and deveined
1½ tablespoons lemon juice

Makes 4 bowls. Takes 45 minutes.

PREPARATION

Add chicken broth, milk, and water to large pot. Bring to boil using high heat. Stir frequently. Add grits gradually, stirring with whisk until no lumps exist. Add pepper and salt. Reduce heat to warm. Simmer to 10-to-20 minutes or until grits become tender and all the water has been absorbed. Stir occasionally. Remove from heat and add butter and Cheddar cheese. Blend in cheese and butter with fork. Cover.

While liquid boils and grits become tender, mince garlic and dice green onions. Chop bacon into ½” squares. Add bacon squares to pan. Cook at medium-high heat for 3-to-5 minutes or until bacon becomes crispy, turning them over at least 1 time. Remove bacon and place on paper towel. Keep bacon grease in pan.

Add shrimp to pan. Sauté shrimp for 3 minutes at medium heat or until they start to turn pink or orange. (Don’t overcook shrimp. It will get mushy.) Add lemon juice. garlic, and green onion. Stir quickly until shrimp is well coated with garlic and green onion. Remove from heat.

Ladle grits into bowls. Top with shrimp and garlic/green onion/lemon juice. Sprinkle with bacon squares.

TIDBITS

1) It seems hard to believe now, but shrimp portraits were once quite popular in America during the late nineteenth century.

2) Darned difficult. I mean, why?

3) Okay, to understand phenomenon, one simply must read, Dr. Amos Keeto’s enthralling work, “Amazing Fads of the Gilded Age,” Garlic Press, Paducah, Kentucky, 1933.

4) According to Dr. Keeto, horse racing was incredibly popular in the 1890s. People with too much money, having bought up anything of any value in America, turned to gambling. They wouldn’t bet on baseball. Ordinary folk did that.

5) So the filthy rich, so called because oil from their wells constantly spurted onto their clothes, would clean up and go the race tracks to wager on horses, the sport of kings.

6) Everything went well. The had fun playing the horses. They lost vast sums, of course, but they had vast sum to lose. The race course owners became quite wealthy as well. They purchased gigantic mansions and went on railroad buying sprees. The Race Track magnate, Silas Brunswick, even bought BrusselsSproutsTM for $250,000 after it came out with the BS PadTM.

7) The BS Pad, a precursor to iPhonesTM, tablets, and the such, consisted of two tin cans tied together with a string, an abacus, and a sketch pad. Improvements have been made since then. Nevertheless, it was all new back then and the sexy BS was all the rage

8) But the craze stopped a scant year later when all of a sudden shouting became socially acceptable once more.

9) Then horse racing died out. On May 5, 1897, the swiftest horses gathered for the prestigious Mississippi Derby in Biloxi. Society’s elite bet over a million on the horses. The favorites were Southern Boil and Sandstorm.

10) People still debate what happened. As the horses turned the corner to enter the final stretch, an enormous fog rolled into. When the fog had lifted, all of the horses were gone. Everyone.

11) Where had they gone? Some speculated that the horses had gone to the same parallel universe that orphan socks go to when placed in a dryer. Some folks dispute this, noting electric dryers weren’t invented back then. The proponents counter, “Where you there, na, na, na, na, poo, poo?”

12) Some folks say that a mare in heat passed by the track and that time and the stallions merely left the race to chase after her. Still others maintain mass spontaneous combustion claimed all the horses, ignoring the fact that no explosions were ever heard. I mean, really.

13) We’ll never know what happened to the race horses. The race-track owner claiming that since no horse crossed the finished line, paid off none of the bets. This defiant act angered the wealthy bettors. Horse racing rapidly fell out of favor.

14) Fortunately, the crowd spied a cocktail of shrimp–you know, like a pod of whales–swimming off shore, and fast! An energetic entrepreneur, his name is lost to history, improvised a shrimp race course. By heavens, the event was fun. Shrimp racing became the most popular social event of the 1890s.

15) Breeding shrimp for speed became a lucrative business. Wealthy owners hired artists to paint their prize shrimps. These artists loved to eat grits. Hence, shrimp and grits. There you go.

cookbookhunksChef Paul

 

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World,  with 180 wonderful recipes is available on amazon.com. My newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, is also available on amazon.com

Categories: cuisine, history | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Sausage Cheese Grits

American Breakfast

SAUSAGE CHEESE GRITS

INGREDIENTSSausCheesGrit-

1 cup uncooked grits
4 cups water
1 pound pork sausage
1 7-ounce can green chiles
6 tablespoons butter
3 eggs
1 cup grated cheddar cheese
1/2 teaspoon ScotchbBonnet sauce or TabascoTM sauce
1 tablespoon parsley

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Add grits and water to pot. Cook on medium heat for 5 minutes or until mixture thickens. Cook sausage and green chiles in pan on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until sausage browns.

Combine butter, eggs, cheese, and Scotch bonnet sauce, grits, and sausage/chile mix to casserole dish. Sprinkle parsley on top. Put casserole dish in oven. Bake for 60 minutes at 350 degrees.

TIDBITS

1) I don’t know how many grits are in a tablespoon. There are, however, about 20,000 grains of sugar per tablespoon.

2) All you have to do to get grits/tablespoon ratio is to multiply 20,000 (the number of sugar grains in a tablespoon) by the (volume of the average sugar grain/volume of the average grit).

3) Simple, once you’ve measured a grit and a sugar grain with a teeny, tiny ruler.

4) You cannot buy a single grit. It tends to be sold in bulk. The stand unit of measurement for grits is a bowl.

5) You can purchase a single Grit magazine if you really, really want to buy a single Grit.

6) It is easier to eat a single Scotch bonnet pepper than the bonnets women of the Old West wore on their heads, it is much spicier as well. So it’s kinda of a trade off.
cover

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World, is available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: