Posts Tagged With: fusion

Chicken Prosciutto Sandwich

Fusion Entree

CHICKEN PROSCIUTTO SANDWICH

INGREDIENTSChickenProscuitto-

4 chicken breasts
1 cup aioli sauce
6 ounces mozzarella
1 Roma tomato
4 sesame-seed hamburger buns
1 cup bread crumbs
8 slices proscuitto
4 lettuce leaves
no-stick spray

SPECIAL UTENSILS

kitchen mallet
parchment paper
3 cookie or baking sheets

Takes 1 hour 40 minutes. Makes 4 sandwiches.

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Flatten chicken breasts with kitchen mallet. Add chicken breasts and aioli sauce to large mixing bowl. Turn chicken breasts by hand until chicken is thoroughly coated. Put in refrigerator and marinate for 1 hour.

While chicken marinates, cut mozzarella and tomato into 4 slices each. After marinating, add bread crumbs to 2nd mixing bowl. Place a mozzarella slice on each hamburger-bun top. Remove chicken breasts from 1st mixing bowl, saving the remaining aioli sauce. Dredge chicken breasts through bread crumbs until they are completely coated. Spray 1st cookie sheet with no-stick spray. Bake at 425 degrees for 20 minutes. (You will be adding two more cookie sheets after 13 minutes.)

While chicken is baking, place parchment paper on 2nd cookie sheet. Place proscuitto on top of parchment paper. Place all hamburger bun halves, including the ones with cheese, on 3rd cookie sheet. After the chicken has baked for 13 minutes, add the proscuitto and the cheese-covered buns to the oven. Continue baking for another 7 minutes or until chicken crumbs are golden brown, proscuitto is starting to become crispy, and the cheese on the buns has melted.

Spread saved aioli sauce on hamburger-bun bottoms. Place lettuce leaf on bottom hamburger bun. Put chicken breast on lettuce leaf, then add 2 prosciutto slices. Complete with cheese covered hamburger-bun top.

TIDBITS

1) Have chicken prosciutto sandwiches always been round?

2) No! Prior to the siege of Picanza, Italy by Napoleon’s troops in 1813, they were triangular. The Picanzans found that shape easy to hold while eating.

3) The triangular sandwiches were also deadly weapons in the hands of the town’s ninjas, particularly after the snack had hardened from being left out in the hot Italian Sun for two weeks.

4) Oh! Don’t forget to go to Picanza’s annual Ninja Chicken Prosciutto Sandwich Toss Festival every April 1. Teams from all over the world compete for the Golden Sandwich Trophy, although Italy and Japan have done all the winning. Be sure to get out of the way of the tosses!

4) The odor from two-week old prosciutto often drove away invading armies just by itself. Well, at least until 1767 when it became standard for armies to carry pumpkin-spiced incense sticks.

5) But in 1813, the clever Napoleon constantly moved his troops upwind from the city. The gale forces winds of that summer continually blew the chicken-prosciutto-sandwich-death triangles back into the city whey dealt widespread carnage among the cafe drinkers. To this day, Picanzans always drink their espresso inside.

6) It looked bad for the Picanzans. The French would fire cannon balls into the city. The Picanzans unable to hurl their hardened sandwich resorted to making scary faces at the besiegers. It was an unequal struggle.

7) Thank goodness for the annual Bowling Ball Festival. Unlike most bowling festivals, this one took place on the precipitous Strada Ripido. Why was it held on such a steep street? The competitors used Parmesan wheels as bowling balls and those 200 pound rounds are heavy. Francesco Poblano suggested they crush the French army by rolling Parmesan cheese at them. The mayor said, “Are you crazy! How will we make eggplant Parmesan?” The ever-clever Franceso said, “Why not make our chicken prosciutto sandwiches round. That way, when they don’t get eaten, we can roll the hardened sandwiches down our steep hills and crush the French down below.”

8) The mayor and other notables proclaimed Francesco a genius and erected a statue in his honor made of bread crumbs and eggs. That statue is still there.

9) Anyway, the Picanzans rolled chicken-prosciutto sandwiches dried out to death dealing hardness at Napoleon’s forces. The bowled over French fled the surrounding hill in terror. Napoleon suffered an irreversible blow to his prestige. Nations all over Europe took courage from his humiliation and rose up against him, swamping the French armies by sheer force of numbers.

10) By 1815, the once great French emperor was exiled to the remote island of St. Helena, where he eked out a tenuous living selling French-style hot dogs out of a vending cart.

11) Oh! Don’t forget to go to Picanza, Italy for its annual Bowling Ball Festival. It’s exciting, particularly if you watch the event at the bottom of Strada Ripido. I suggest paying extra for seats at the top of the steep road.

– Chef Paul

LutheranCookbook

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, are available in paperpack
or Kindle on amazon.com

The cookbook is also available as an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

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Sleeping Teddy Bear

Fusion Entree

SLEEPING TEDDY BEAR

INGREDIENTSTeddyBear-

2/3 cup sticky rice (sometimes called short grain sushi rice, sweet rice, or calrose rice)
2 2/3 cups water
2 eggs
about 1 ounce cheddar cheese

SPECIAL UTENSILS

colander
scoop

PREPARATION

Put sticky rice and water in pot. Bring to boil on high heat, stirring frequently. Reduce heat to warm-low, cover, and let simmer for 15 minutes. Stir twice a minute. Drain rice using colander. While rice is cooking, beat eggs in bowl. Pour eggs into pan. Fry eggs at low-medium for about 5 minutes or until they reach their desired level of doneness.

Place two scoops of rice on plate to form teddy bear’s body. Smooth scoops together. Place fried egg on top of rice body .This is the blanket. Place one scoop at the top of the blanket to make the head. Put a partial scoop of rice on one side of the head. Put another partial scoop of rice on the the other side. These are the ears.. Put a third partial scoop of rice at the side and the top of the blanket. This is the paw that sticks out.

Put a thin 1″ by ½” slab of cheese above the head. This is the pillow. Put a tiny triangle in each ear and three on the head for the two eyes and nose.

TIDBITS

1) The word “colander” should be outlawed. It is nearly impossible to spell.

2) Nuclear weapons should also be outlawed. They’re dangerous!

3) Nuclear weapons made out of fissionable colanders worry me a lot. Suppose the nations do manage to get together to outlaw these fearsome weapons but can’t because none of the people writing the Colander Nuclear Weapon Disarmament Treaty (CNWDT) know how to spell colander.

4) But don’t worry, your Teddy Bear will protect you. It protected you at night from dangerous monsters when you were little. It will protect from dangerous weapons now that you have grown up. Once your Teddy Bear, always your Teddy Bear.

5) You don’t have a Teddy Bear?! Oh my goodness, get one, right away!

– Chef Paul

 

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com4novels

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Grilled Ham and Dill Havarti Cheese Sandwiches and the Discovery of America

Fusion Entree

GRILLED HAM AND DILL HAVARTI CHEESE SANDWICH

INGREDIENTSHamAndDill-

6 tablespoons butter
8 slices of your favorite bread
1 pound slice deli ham
6 ounces dill Havarti cheese

PREPARATION

Cut butter into 4 equal pieces or pats. Cut havarti cheese into 8 equal slices. Add 1 pat of butter to skillet. Melt butter using medium heat. Add 2 bread slices to skillet. Quickly Add 1/4 of the ham slices and 2 havarti slices to one the bread slices. Put the other slice butter-side up on top of the ham and cheese.

Grill for 2 minutes on medium heat or until bottom slice is browned on bottom. (Unless you have a skillet made of transparent aluminum, you will have to use your spatula to take a peek.) Carefully flip sandwich over and grill other side for 2 minutes or until the new bread on the bottom is golden brown and cheese has melted. (Note: cooking times for this sandwich will tend to become shorter with each new sandwich as the skillet absorbs more and more heat.)

TIDBITS

1) On April 1, 1491, Chef Bjorn Havarti sailed west from Copenhagen, Denmark, to discover a shorter route to the empire of the Great Khan. His voyage lasted just two minutes Remarkably, Mr. Havarti had not succeeded in hiring and keeping a crew. To this day, in Denmark, attempting a great task with woefully insufficient resources is called, “pulling a Chef Bjorn.”

3) Apparently, the Danish chef had prepared a bon voyage dinner of lutefisk. Four of their senses damaged beyond repair by contact with lutefisk, the entire crew elected to stay ashore. Before Bjorn could raise funds for another voyage, Christopher Columbus would discover America*. Bjorn was destined to be forgotten for two tidbits.

4) * = Columbus was not the first to discover America. Arriving before him were the First Americans who crossed over the land bridge from Asia, possible voyagers from China, and Vikings. Apparently, America can be discovered many times. You just need a new starting point.

5) Okay, I look out my window and see America. I hereby state that I am the first one to discover America from my home in Poway, California. April 24th will now be known as Chef Paul Day.

5) Chef Bjorn learned his lesson and devoted his life to discovering a truly tasty food. On April 1, 1920, just 429 years later, he succeeded with his pièce de resistance, Havarti cheese. He died just one day later, exhausted but triumphant.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

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Great Arctic Eats – Murmansk, Russia

If you hunger for good Russian food served in the Arctic, you really must visit Murmansk, Russia. There are many fine hotels and hostelries if you ???????????????????????????????????????wish to stay a while in a place where you can take big steps without bumping into someone. The Park Inn by Radisson is a favorite while the unfortunately and ominously named Terminal Hostel and Terminal Hostelries get good reviews. Try to reserve rooms in advance as the nearest town is really, really, really, far away.

TripAdvisor rates Cafe Leto as the best restaurant. The best sushi is found at Fusion. Lovers of Italian food should stampede Mama Mia. And check out M-Club Meridian Hotel for fine barbecue and Russian.

Murmansk’s restaurants

Murmansk has a lot to see. So, it’s best to avoid the winter when the days are short and the nights mighty long. Most people will want to visit the Lenin Nuclear Icebreaker. I’d love to take that for a test drive. People wishing to know the local history must go to the Aloysha Monument for the Defenders of the Soviet Arctic during the Great Patriotic War. Fish lovers will want to spend time at the renowned Murmansk Oceanarium. Enjoy the arts at the Murmansk Regional Drama Theater with the best productions for miles around. And don’t forget to spend some quiet time at the St. Nicholaus church.

– Chef Paul
cover

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World, is available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Boiled Water

Fusion Basic

BOILED WATER

People boil water all over the world. You simply cannot become a master chef without mastering the art of boiling water. It would be as ridiculous as trying to build the Empire State Building without mastering building with LegoTMs.

INGREDIENTSboilwat-

water

(space reserved for doodling.)

First, locate your stove. Yes, it’s that big white appliance in your kitchen. No, no, no! You’re in the refrigerator. (Why does refrigerator have no “d” in it while “fridge” does?) The refrigerator has your beer in it. The stove is the thing with the four heating elements on top.

Put a pot on top of a heating element. I prefer the near, right one, but that’s because my near, left one doesn’t always work. If the left one did work, I would use that one as I am left-handed.

Fill the pot with water until it is half full. You are a beginner. When you’re more experienced, you may experiment with different levels. Until then, stick with halfway.

When you’ve done this, turn off the water. Future generations of water-hungry hordes will thank you. Most wars are started by competition over scarce resources. Your thoughtfulness will delay the War That Extinguished Humanity by another day.

Move the pot over to the lucky burner. Turn the burner on. You’ll be surprised how long water takes to boil when the burner’s off. You’ll also be astounded just how many times you’ll forget to do this simple task throughout your career as a successful, trend-setting chef.

Set the temperature on the dial for the burner to “High” or “Hi.” Low temperatures are not sufficient for boiling. Low settings are used to keep already cooked food warm; food that should have been eaten two hours ago but wasn’t because your no-good teenager decided to hang out at the skateboarding park instead of coming home. He could have called. He has a cell phone, but nooooo.

Anyway, it will take a few minutes to boil. You really should watch the whole process the first time. Once you get enough experience you can experiment with successively longer absences from the pot.

Don’t be excited by the first bubble on the water’s surface and conclude that the water is boiling. You’ll be laughed out of the world’s cooking schools if you think that.

Water can only truly be considered to be boiling if the entire surface is roiled. Another sign is a plentitude of tiny bubbles forming on the bottom of the pot.

There, you have accomplished a major culinary achievement. You are well on your way to cooking independence.

TIDBITS

1) Greeks thought water was one of the four elements. The other three were: Earth, Wind, and Fire, which is also the name of a famous rock-‘n-roll band.

2) You can swim in water or drink it. If you try the same with mercury, you will die.

3) Penguins’ digestive systems can change salt water to fresh water.

4) Penguins live in Antarctica. Antarctica has tall mountains. It’s more difficult to boil water at high altitudes. This is one reason why penguins never boil water.

5) The Earth’s supply of fresh water is relatively constant. The Earth’s population is soaring.

6) Fresh water will become harder to get for the people of the world.

7) Penguins with their ability to make fresh water will be able to dictate terms to an increasingly thirsty world.

8) Thank goodness penguins aren’t vicious.
cover

My cookbookEat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World, is available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Hot Dog Quesadillas À La Provençal Recipe

Fusion Entree

Hot Dog Quesadillas À La Provençal

INGREDIENTSTurkQue-

no-stick spray
4 turkey dogs
1 teaspoon herbes de Provence
1 Roma tomato
1/2 white onion
1/2 cup cheddar cheese
4 flour tortillas

PREPARATION

This fusion entree comes from my fevered imagination heated up by a surplus of tortillas and herbes de Provence. Oui arriba.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Cut turkey dogs into halves lengthwise. Coat hot-dogs with spray. Put herbes de Provence on plate. Roll turkey dogs on plate until they are all covered with herbes de Provence. Mince tomato and white onion. Sprinkle tomato, onion, and cheese evenly over two tortillas. Complete the quesadillas with another tortilla over each of the two-covered tortillas.

Put the quesadillas on a sprayed cookie sheet. Put in oven. Bake for about 10 minutes or until the quesadillas are crispy or start to brown. Cut quesadillas into halves and serve.

TIDBITS

1) There are apparently no fun facts about quesadillas. You’d think something that looks like a Frisbee would have all sorts of things listed.

2) But the Frisbee does. The Frisbee originally was developed by Morrison and Franscioni in 1948.

3) The inspiration for the design came from the pie pan that Morrison used for the pies he sold.

4) Millions and millions of Frisbees have been sold.

5) Just because Morrison and his wife tossed a pie pan around after eating a pie.

6) Unfortunately, other kitchen implements do not make good tossing toys. Knives and anything made of glass come especially to mind.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Berbere Potato Chips Recipe

Fusion Snack

Berbere Potato Chips

 INGREDIENTSBerPoCh-

4 russet potatoes
water
2 tablespoons berbere spice
peanut oil

PREPARATION

Wash potatoes. Slice them as narrowly as you can. A thin slice will come out like a potato chip. A thick slice results in a thin french fry. Put slices in large bowl. Put enough water to cover potato slices. Let sit for 20 minutes. Drain completely.

Sprinkle berbere spice on potato slices. Mix until potato slices are thoroughly coated with spice. Put enough peanut oil in skillet to cover potato slices. Heat skillet to 375 degrees. (It’s a good idea to hold the top of the skillet between you and skillet while putting the slices into the skillet from the skillet. Hot grease splatter is nasty.)

Fry for up to 7 minutes or until slices are crispy like, well, a potato chip. (Note, the time needed to turn a potato slice into a potato chip varies considerably with the thickness of the slice, so you will need to monitor the frying after about 2 minutes.)

Remove chips from skillet using a spoon with holes in it. Put chips on plate covered with paper towel. Enjoy.

TIDBITS

1) The ancient Greeks thought the four basic elements of the universe were: earth, wind, fire, and water.

2) A famous rock and roll band from the 70s was Earth, Wind, and Fire.

3) Adding the fourth Greek element, water, would have made their name too long..

4) If the band had a time machine they could have named themselves after this recipe and been known as Potatoes, Water, Berbere, and Oil. Neat, huh?

5) But the band didn’t have a time machine.

6) If I had a time machine I’d never do laundry. I’d simply keep going back to the day when all my clothes were clean.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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