SLEEPING TEDDY BEAR
2/3 cup sticky rice (sometimes called short grain sushi rice, sweet rice, or calrose rice)
2 2/3 cups water
about 1 ounce cheddar cheese
Put sticky rice and water in pot. Bring to boil on high heat, stirring frequently. Reduce heat to warm-low, cover, and let simmer for 15 minutes. Stir twice a minute. Drain rice using colander. While rice is cooking, beat eggs in bowl. Pour eggs into pan. Fry eggs at low-medium for about 5 minutes or until they reach their desired level of doneness.
Place two scoops of rice on plate to form teddy bear’s body. Smooth scoops together. Place fried egg on top of rice body .This is the blanket. Place one scoop at the top of the blanket to make the head. Put a partial scoop of rice on one side of the head. Put another partial scoop of rice on the the other side. These are the ears.. Put a third partial scoop of rice at the side and the top of the blanket. This is the paw that sticks out.
Put a thin 1″ by ½” slab of cheese above the head. This is the pillow. Put a tiny triangle in each ear and three on the head for the two eyes and nose.
1) The word “colander” should be outlawed. It is nearly impossible to spell.
2) Nuclear weapons should also be outlawed. They’re dangerous!
3) Nuclear weapons made out of fissionable colanders worry me a lot. Suppose the nations do manage to get together to outlaw these fearsome weapons but can’t because none of the people writing the Colander Nuclear Weapon Disarmament Treaty (CNWDT) know how to spell colander.
4) But don’t worry, your Teddy Bear will protect you. It protected you at night from dangerous monsters when you were little. It will protect from dangerous weapons now that you have grown up. Once your Teddy Bear, always your Teddy Bear.
5) You don’t have a Teddy Bear?! Oh my goodness, get one, right away!
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.