Posts Tagged With: beef

Corned Beef Soup Recipe

Posted on March 4, 2013 by pauldelancey

Irish Entree

CORNED BEEF SOUP

INGREDIENTSIrCorBS-

1 4-to-5 pound ready-to-cook corned beef brisket
6 russet potatoes
3 large carrots
1 large white onion
1/2 head cabbage
water
more water

SPECIALTY UTENSIL

crock pot

PREPARATION

At the crock pot’s low setting, the brisket can take 10-to-14 hours to become tender. The high setting will cut this time by about half.

Put ready-to-cook corned beef brisket in crock pot. Add water to crock pot until it covers the brisket. You may need to cut the brisket into smaller pieces depending on the size of your crock pot. Cook for 10-to-14, possibly overnight, or until brisket is tender.

Clean potatoes and carrots. Cut potatoes carrots, onions, and cabbages in slices no thicker than 1/2″ inch and add them to the crock pot. and vegetables. Add as much water as your crock pot will allow. Cook on low setting for about 2 hours or until vegetables are tender.

If you do not have enough water to make soup, boil more water in a separate pot. Combine ingredients from crock pot with hot water from pot in soup bowl. Alternatively, put leftovers from corned-beef meal in large soup. Add water to achieve desired thickness. Cook on high heat until soup boils then turn off heat. Stir occasionally. If people have been asking for 14 hours, “Is it ready, yet?” you can now say yes. Resist the temptation to clock them. You are a gracious host.

TIDBITS

1) This recipe uses lots of water.

2) Water is good for you. Your body needs it to live. You can go maybe three days without drinking water.

3) Water is also used for showering. You can go indefinitely without showering.

4) I wouldn’t recommend it though. You’ll probably lose your job and all future invitations to neighborhood weenie roasts.

5) And who could live without a weenie roast, especially since the invention of veggie hot dogs?

6) Don’t forget the therapeutic value of showers. Shower spray pounding on one’s shoulders washes away one’s tension and anger.

7) If you don’t release your tension and anger, you’re much more likely to bump someone off.

8) Water. Good for your body. Good for your outlook. Good for your criminal record.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

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St. Martin Hamburger Recipe

Posted on February 24, 2013 by pauldelancey

St. Martin Entree

ST. MARTIN HAMBURGER

INGREDIENTSStMarHB-

1 medium yellow onion
1/2 teaspoon bird pepper (St. Martin spice)
1 teaspoon nigelle (St. Martin spice)
1 1/2 pounds ground beef
6 hamburger buns

SPECIAL APPLIANCES

spice grinder
time machine

PREPARATION

Mince yellow onion. Use spice grinder to grind bird pepper. Use hands to combine onion, bird pepper, nigelle, and ground beef in large mixing bowl. Make 6 patties.

Your hands will be messy. Use time machine to go back to a moment when your hands were clean. Be sure to come back to the present moment. Those patties need to be fried and you don’t want to cause a time paradox, do you?

Cook patties in frying pan until meat browns. Flip patties over at least once to keep moisture from exiting the top. Toast hamburger buns. Put patties in buns. Enjoy.

TIDBITS

1) St. Martin is the French side of an island in the Caribbeain. St. Maarten is the Dutch side. Both countries valued the island for its vast salt deposits.

2) Packing meat and fish in salt was one of the few ways to preserve meat and fish way back when. Nations in those days often waged war over lands rich in salt.

3) Indeed, global wars raged constantly in the seventeenth, eighteenth, and nineteenth centuries. The number of such bloody conflicts plummeted in the twentieth century and in our very own, the twenty-first.

4) Why? The development of the refrigerator made it unnecessary for chefs worldwide to use salt to preserve their perishable beef and fish.

5) Well preserved food results in happy contented chefs. Happy chefs cook for happy eaters. Happy eaters comprise happy nations. Happy nations are agreeable nations. Agreeable nations don’t fight each other. No wars, no nuclear Armageddon.

6) So think about that when considering to send back that overcooked steak to the chef.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Beef Enchiladas

Posted on November 21, 2012 by pauldelancey

Mexican Entree

BEEF ENCHILADAS

SAUCE INGREDIENTS

1 fresh green chile
2 teaspoons fresh cilantro (4 tablespoons more later)
1/2 tablespoon vegetable oil (1/2 tablespoon more later)
1 16 ounce can enchilada sauce-red
1 14.5 ounce can Mexican-style diced tomatoes.
4 tablespoons parsley
1/2 tablespoon basil

FILLINGS INGREDIENTS

1 jalapeno pepper
1 medium onion
2 garlic cloves
4 tablespoons fresh cilantro
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1 pound ground beef
1/2 tablespoon vegetable oil
5 ounces Cotija cheese
1 1/4 cups grated Monterey Jack cheese

OTHER INGREDIENTS

12 corn tortillas (You might want more in case some fall apart)
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
no-stick cooking spray

You might need two baking dishes

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Use no-stick cooking spray on baking dish.

PREPARATION OF SAUCE

Remove seeds from green chile. Dice green chile and 2 teaspoons cilantro. Add green chile and vegetable oil to saucepan. Sauté at medium heat for 5 minutes or until green chile is soft. Add red enchilada sauce, diced tomatoes, cilantro, parsley, and basil. Simmer on warm heat and stir for 5 minutes. Set aside.

PREPARATION OF FILLING

Remove seeds from jalapeno. Dice jalapeno pepper, onion garlic cloves, and 4 tablespoons cilantro. Combine jalapeno, onion, garlic, and cilantro by hand with ground beef, and cumin. Cook and stir pepper/onion/beef mixture on medium-to-high heat until beef turns color. Add Cotija and Monterey Jack cheese. Cook until cheeses melt.

PREPARATION OF TORTILLAS

Heat the tortillas for about 20 seconds in a microwave to make them easier to roll. Pour enough oil to cover just the bottom of the saucepan. Put the pan on the BACK BURNER. USING TONGS, dip one tortilla at a time quickly in the hot oil. If the tortilla spends too much time in the oil or if you take too long to put it on a plate, the oil-dripping tortilla will fall apart; have extras until you get the hang of it.

(Try to keep up with the cleaning as you prepare the food lest your guests call the bomb squad upon arrival. Being a suspected terrorist is a true resume stain.)

FINAL PREPARATION

Add about 1/12 of the fillings’ ingredients. Roll each tortilla and put it against the side of the baking dish or as close to another rolled tortilla as possible.

Pour the sauce evenly over the tortillas. Sprinkle any remaining ingredients on top. Bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes or until any cheese on top bubbles.

TIDBITS

1) I have been assuming that people’s stoves measure temperature in Fahrenheit. If your stove’s temperature dial is in Kelvin, then please use the following conversion. K = (5/9)*F + 256, where K is temperature in Kelvin and F is in Fahrenheit.

2) Some people assume that enchiladas only have cheese in them. So it’s a good idea to tell people this dish has meat in it, particularly if you think they might be vegetarian.

3) Mexican cuisine is quite friendly to vegetarians.

4) A distant relative of mine, Emperor Napoleon III of France, tried to conquer Mexico in the 1860s. I had nothing to do with this venture. I wasn’t even born.

5) The price of tortillas is regulated in Mexico. The price of bread is regulated in France. The French authorities still greatly fear riots and revolutions arising from rapid increases in the price of bread. Presumably, the Mexican government feels the same way and if it ever asks me to the Presidential Palace for dinner, I will ask about this.

6) If the Mexican president ever asks me over for dinner, I shall return the favor and ask him over to my home in Poway for some really good eats.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Greek Wraps

Posted on November 12, 2012 by pauldelancey

Greek Entree

GREEK WRAPS

INGREDIENTS

1 head lettuce
1 pound ground pork
1/2 pound ground beef
1 1/2 teaspoon Meat MagicTM spice
1 1/2 teaspoon coriander
Greek cucumber sauce or tzatziki sauce from previous recipe

PREPARATION

This dish works best with the outer, larger leaves of lettuce. Be sure to wash the lettuce and remove any leaves with brown spots.

Mix pork, beef, meat spice, and coriander. Cook meat until browned. Tear off one or two leaves of lettuce. Put about 3 or 4 spoonfuls meat on the leaves, but not so much that you cannot roll up the leaves.

Put about two spoonfuls cucumber sauce on top. Roll up the lettuce leaves so no meat shows. Hold at one end to keep the sauce from dripping out. Eat at the other end.

This is a tasty and healthy variation on gyros.

TIDBITS

1) Lettuce grew as a weed long before anyone ate it.

2) But if lettuce flourished as a weed, then why is it so hard to grow deliberately?

3) I think the definition of a weed is something that grows without help.

4) Food is something that is difficult to grow.

5) There is a town in northern California called Weed.

6) Columbus brought lettuce to the Americas.

7) Spanish explorers brought potatoes back from the Americas. Fair trade, you think?

8) There is no eighth tidbit. My computer decided to update my software at this point.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Tamales

Posted on November 2, 2012 by pauldelancey

Mexican Entree

TAMALES

INGREDIENTS – MEAT MIX

1 onion
1 1/2 pounds chicken breast (or ground beef or shredded pork)
1 beef bouillon cube
1/4 cup tomato sauce
2 tablespoons chili powder (1 tablespoon more later)
1/2 tablespoon coriander
1/2 tablespoon cumin
1/4 cup yellow corn meal
1/2 tablespoon garlic powder (1/2 teaspoon more later)
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper

INGREDIENTS – CORNMEAL COATING

1 cup yellow cornmeal
1 tablespoons chili powder (2 tablespoons more earlier)
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder (1/2 tablespoon more earlier)
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 package corn husks or tamale paper

INGREDIENTS – SAUCE

1 cup tomato sauce
1 7.5 ounce can chili
1 bouillon cube
1 cup vegetable oil

(This recipe is spicy. If you prefer milder food, consider reducing the amounts of chili powder by up to half the stated amounts.)

SPECIAL UTENSILS

2 large pots
Box of wooden toothpicks (optional)

PREPARATION – SOAKING OF CORN HUSKS

Place corn husks at a time in first large pot. Heat corn husks at warm heat for 1-to-2 hours.

Soaking makes the corn husks pliable. Stiff, brittle corn husks really don’t roll well. The corn husk will split or the tamale will unravel. (You’ll end up shouting over the ensuing disaster and your whole family will head grumpily out to a fast- food joint.) Soak those corn husks.

PREPARATION – MEAT MIX

Set aside an afternoon to do this. Mince onions. Shred chicken breast or meat of choice. Crumble bouillon cube. Combine onion, tomato sauce, shredded chicken, chili powder, coriander, cumin, corn meal, garlic powder, cayenne pepper, and bouillon.

Mix thoroughly with hands. Shape mix into sticks no longer than about 3/4 the width of the corn husks.

PREPARATION – TAMALE COATING

In large bowl, mix corn meal, chili powder, garlic powder, and salt. Roll meat sticks in corn meal until coated all over.

Take a tablespoon of this coating and place it near the top, narrow part of the corn husk. Roll the husk from the top until the meat stick is enclosed. Fold in the sides of the husk and finish rolling. Be sure to roll it tight. Place the resulting tamale in second large pot with the seam side down.

Continue with the rest of the tamales. Put each tamale right up against the side of the pot or another tamale to prevent the husks from unraveling. You might wish to hold the tamales together with a wooden toothpick as well.

REMAINING PREPARATION

Mix sauce ingredients together. Pour sauce over tamales. Add enough water to cover the top layer of tamales. Bring to boil then reduce heat. Simmer for 40 minutes. Add vegetable oil. Simmer for 5 minutes more. Let soak for 30 minutes. This gives the cornmeal time to absorb the sauce.

Unroll the corn husks and serve the tamales. Cover the tamales with as much sauce as desired from the pot.

ADDITIONAL MEALS FROM THIS RECIPE

It’s possible that you might run out of pots to cook all the tamales you would otherwise make. You can use the excess meat mix as a burrito or taco filling. The remaining sauce in the pot makes an excellent chili soup. Reorganize the fridge. Make room for all this great food.

TIDBITS

1) My grandmother, who was born in Sonora, used to make tamales. I wish I remembered this better.

2) After making this dish, you’ll have a much greater appreciation of why tamales cost so much in stores and in restaurants. You’ll also see why establishments make tamales in such big batches.

3) Profusely thank your sweetheart who cleans up after your cooking. If you don’t have a sweetheart, consider finding one to help you tidy up after making tamales.

4) There is a Tamale Museum in Newport Beach, California. Featured there are paintings of Los Angeles’ taco trucks.

5) The first tamale factory in America opened in Austin, Texas in 1911. Prior to that, America was in the culinary dark ages.

6) There is a tamale factory in Vicksburg, Mississippi. It opened in 1939. I’ve been there. Their food is good. People in Northwest Mississippi are serious about their tamales. Who knew?

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Cuban Stuffed Peppers

Posted on October 5, 2012 by pauldelancey

Cuban Entree

CUBAN STUFFED PEPPERS

INGREDIENTS

4 garlic cloves
1/3 medium onion
1 cup cooked rice
2 cups water

1/2 pound ground beef
1/2 pound ground turkey
2 teaspoons olive oil

1 14.5 ounce can diced tomatoes
1 7 ounce can diced green chiles
1/4 cup chicken broth
3 tablespoons tomato sauce
2 tablespoons oregano
1 teaspoon sea salt
1/2 teaspoon coriander
1/2 teaspoon pepper

2 green bell peppers (3 total green peppers, 2 here and 1 below)
2 yellow bell pepper
2 red bell pepper (3 total green peppers, 1 here and 2 above)

1 green bell pepper

GUEST APPLIANCE APPEARANCES

microwave
microwavable dishes
sonic obliterator

PREPARATION

Mince onion and garlic cloves. Cook rice according to instructions on package.

Combine garlic, onion, cooked rice, beef, turkey, and oil in frying pan. Cook on medium-high heat until beef is no longer pink. Stir occasionally. Add in diced tomatoes, green chiles, chicken broth, tomato sauce, oregano, salt, coriander, and pepper. Bring to boil while stirring frequently. Reduce heat to low and cook uncovered for 15 to 20 minutes. Stir occasionally.

Meanwhile back at chopping board, cut the tops off 2 green peppers, 2 yellow bell peppers, and 2 red bell peppers. Scoop out seeds and white soft part of peppers. (Get rid of these seeds and all with your sonic obliterator.) Put as many bell-pepper halves in a microwave-safe baking dish. (You might need more than one such dish.) Add water to baking dish until water is level with tops of bell peppers. Fill the insides of the bell-pepper halves with water as well. Microwave for about 8 minutes or until bell-peppers are crisp-tender.

Remove peppers from baking dish and drain the water from them. Put equal amounts of meat mixture into and on top of each pepper half.

If desired, chop remaining green bell pepper into small strips for garnishing the filled bell peppers.

TIDBITS

1) Christopher Columbus brought cattle with him on his epic voyage of discovery in 1492. Cuba probably had cattle by 1493.

2) However, Hernando Cortez was the first to bring cattle to North America in 1519.

3) So, Cuba had a twenty-six year head start over North America in the race to develop the first hamburger.

4) The hamburger patty was developed in the German town of Hamburg in the early 1800s. The culinary world was indeed standing on a mountain gazing into the promised land of the hamburger.

5) German immigrants brought the hamburger patty to America. American can-do spirit applied itself and the first complete was first served at Delmonico’s in New York in 1826 or 1834 or perhaps even 1871 in San Francisco, depending on which historical research you trust. Culinary greatness had been achieved.

6) Oh sure, America has done bad things as well. Slavery, fill-in-the bubble tests, and long lines at the DMV come to mind.

7) Cuba has had its problems as well with slavery and dictatorship and although it didn’t discover the hamburger it can hold its culinary head high with its Cuban sandwich and this recipe’s dish, the Cuban stuffed peppers.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Swedish Meatballs

Posted on September 20, 2012 by pauldelancey

Swedish Entree

SWEDISH MEATBALLS

INGREDIENTS

1 pound lean ground beef (not the leanest, it sticks.)
2 slices dry bread
milk (optional. If used, enough to cover bread crumbs or at least 1/2 cup.)
1 egg
1 teaspoon onion powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
2 teaspoons allspice
1/4 teaspoon sugar

PREPARATION

Use dried bread, let bread dry out overnight, or toast bread. Let bread soak in milk overnight. This last step is a matter of preference and can be omitted. (Do this part after your spouse has gone to bed, if the two of you disagree on the inclusion of milk.)

Combine meat, bread (soaked or not, did you win the argument?), eggs, salt, black pepper, allspice, and sugar. Make small meatballs, not more than 1-inch wide.

Cook in electric skillet at 340 degrees. Turn occasionally. Meatballs should be at least dark brown all over.

These meatballs are great. They disappear fast. They can be rewarmed in a little water.

TIDBITS

1) This recipe comes from my Grandma Anna. According to her, these are the authentic Swedish meatballs.

2) She said the big gravy-covered meatballs served at buffets were not.

3) Grandma Anna served these meatballs to my Dad’s parents when they came over to meet my mother’s parents for the first time. Upon seeing the meatballs, my Dad’s father said, “What are these little black things?” Fortunately, Grandma Anna laughed, my parents married, and I was born. Whew!

4) Grandma Anna used to say, “Be useful as well as ornamental.”

5) Whenever my brother or I did something to displease her she’d say, “You’re in bad trouble.”

6) This  has been a much anticipated dish at Thanksgiving and Christmas.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Castro Burger

Posted on September 5, 2012 by pauldelancey

Cuban Entree

CASTRO BURGER

INGREDIENTS

1 pound ground pork
1/2 pound ground beef
1 onion
2 cloves garlic
1 teaspoon cumin
1/2 teaspoon ground mustard
1 teaspoon oregano
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 14.5 ounce cans diced tomatoes
6  Swiss cheese slices
Dill Sandwich StackersTM Pickles
yellow mustard
6 French rolls (Use Cuban bread if you can find it.)
No mayonnaise (This is a Cuban no no.)
PREPARATION

Mince onion and garlic cloves. Mix pork, beef, onion, garlic, cumin, mustard, oregano, pepper, and salt by hand. Form six patties. Fry patties in pan until golden brown.

Add diced tomatoes and juice. Cook until tomatoes and juice are hot. Toast rolls. Put patty on roll, followed by a scooping of diced tomatoes, a few pickles, and a slice of Swiss Cheese. Spread mustard on the top half of the roll and put on top of the patty and fixings. Andale.

TIDBITS

1) Some decades ago, Fidel Castro decided communist Cuba could do as well as McDonald’sTM. To back up this bold assertion, they announced the construction of roadside stands selling burgers and orange drinks. The meat in the burgers was guaranteed to contain at least 60% pork. They didn’t identify the meat comprising the other 40%.

2) This dish is in homage to Fidel Castro. Thanks Fidel, without you this dish would never have been created.

3) Fidel Castro was a good baseball player in his youth and probably would made it at least to minor leagues if he hadn’t decided to throw it all away to make a revolution.

4) Lenin caused the Russian Revolution which caused millions of people to die. His successor Stalin is responsible for tens of millions more.

5) Neither Lenin nor Stalin showed any aptitude for baseball. Coincidence, perhaps?

6) One of the first professional baseball teams in Russia played next to a missile base.

7) During the 1990s, Moscow’s utility company shut down all electricity to Russia’s command center for its nuclear strike force. Until Russia paid its electric bill, it’s nuclear missiles were useless.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Berbere Burgers

Posted on August 25, 2012 by pauldelancey

Moroccan Entree

BERBERE BURGERS

INGREDIENTS

1 medium yellow onion
1 tablespoon Berbere spices (See recipe for BERBERE SPICE MIX INGREDIENTS, if you can’t find the mix)
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 tablespoon ground coriander
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
1 tablespoon parsley flakes
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1/2 teaspoon sea salt
1 1/2 pounds ground beef
8 buns or 16 multi-grain bread slices
1/2 head lettuce
1 cup grated Mozzarella cheese
no-stick spray

UTENSILS

Electric skillet
Spice grinder (If needed to make your own Berbere spice mix.)

PREPARATION

Peel and dice onion. Put Berbere spices, cayenne pepper, cinnamon, coriander, ginger, parsley, pepper, salt, and ground beef in mixing bowl. Pretend you’re making the mortar for the mighty Egyptian pyramids as you mix everything together with your hands. (Edible pyramids. What a concept.) Make 8 hamburger patties.

Use non-stick spray on skillet. Put 4 patties in pan. Heat patties at 350 degrees in skillet for 2 to 3 minutes. Flip patties over and cook for another 2 to 3 minutes. Don’t squash the patties with your spatula. This forces the juices out of the patties. (I also don’t recommend flattening oranges with your spatula for a similar if not more spectacular reason.) Patties should have no pink remaining. Repeat to make 8 patties.

Toast buns. While buns are toasting, tear lettuce into bun-size pieces by hand.

Put a patty on each bun bottom. Top with lettuce and cheese. Put bun top and, violà, you have a burger so tasty you’ll want to conquer all of North Africa just to bring this dish’s culinary greatness to all its peoples.

TIDBITS

1) Most world conquerors, such as Napoleon, Cortes, Alexander the Great, Genghis Khan, and Julius Caesar didn’t bring much culinary enlightenment to their defeated nations.

2) Pretty much just death by the thousands and enslavement.

3) What would it have hurt them to give their newly enslaved peoples a wondrous culinary novelty in compensation?

4) Oh sure, there are such things as Napoleons and Caesar salad.

5) But those military geniuses didn’t come up with them.

6) The Caesar salad was invented last century at Caesar’s hotel in Tijuana Mexico.

7) Indeed, it is also verifiable that Julius Caesar and all of the Julian-Claudian Emperors had nothing to do with the comedic brilliance of Sid Caesar.

8) Frederick the Great did encourage potato production in his Kingdom of Prussia, the precursor to modern Germany. The mighty tuber enabled Prussia to feed all its people even though its lands were repeatedly invaded by its enemies.

9) To this day, one may still buy French Fries in Germany.

10) Well done, Frederick.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Recipe From My Cookbook – Guajillo Beef Tostada

Posted on June 17, 2012 by pauldelancey

Mexican Entree

GUAJILLO BEEF TOSTADA

INGREDIENTSGuajiBT-

4 dried guajillo chiles
1 cup water

2 garlic cloves
1 red bell pepper
2 stalks green onions
1/2 red onion
1/2 yellow onion

1/4 head lettuce

1 1/2 pounds ground beef
1 tablespoon cilantro
1/2 teaspoon coriander
1 1/2 teaspoon cumin
1/2 tablespoon lime juice
1 teaspoon Meat MagicTM spice
1 teaspoon oregano
1/4 teaspoon pepper

1 16 ounce can refried beans.
1/2 cup sour cream

8 toasted corn tortillas
1 cup shredded Four Mexican cheeses
1 cup salsa (optional)

UTENSILS

a lazy Susan, about 24-inch across, if one is lurking in your kitchen.

PREPARATION

Pull stems off guajillo chiles, leave the rest alone. Cook on medium heat in sauce pan for about 2 minutes until guajillo gives off a fragrant aroma. Place guajillo chiles in mixing bowl. Pour hot water to cover chiles. Let sit for 1 hour. Mince chiles. Dice red bell pepper, green onions, red onions and yellow onions.

Shred as much lettuce as you like. (You have nearly an hour. Or you could employ this time conjugating Portuguese verbs, always handy when dining in Portugal.)

Meanwhile back at the range, add refried beans and sour cream in pot. Mix Cook at medium heat for about 5 minutes until mixture is hot and creamy. Cover and simmer at low until chiles have sat for 1 hour.

Add to frying pan: ground beef, cilantro, coriander, cumin, guajillo chiles, lime juice, meat spice, oregano, and pepper. Cook for about 5 minutes or until meat completely turns color. (What color you ask? Turning brown is good. Orange means you magic “spice” was purchased at an alternative food store.)

Apportion refried beans equally on tostadas. Put similar amounts of beef/spice mix on top of beans. Crown tostadas with lettuce, grated cheese, and salsa. Arriba! Arriba!

TIDBITS

1) “Tostada” means “toasted” in Spanish.

2) As in toasted bread and not as in “He had six whiskeys. He’s toasted.”

3) People often toast each other by raising a glass of wine at one or more people and saying something mercifully short.

4) This practice arose when people in the 17th century flavored wine with spiced toast.

5) I strongly suspect it was the wine that made people pop up and make short speeches in public.

6) I mean, how often have you seen people make a speech at a dinner after eating cinnamon toast?

7) I don’t think Mexicans have ever flavored their wines with tostadas.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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