Posts Tagged With: Russian Revolution

Carrot Cake

American Dessert

CARROT CAKE

INGREDIENTS – MAINCarrotCake-

4 eggs
1⅓ cups sugar
⅔ cup light brown sugar
3 cups shredded carrots
1 cup vegetable oil
¼ teaspoon allspice
2 teaspoons cinnamon
¼ teaspoon ginger
¼ teaspoon salt
2 cups cake flour or flour
½ tablespoon baking soda
1 cup chopped walnuts or pecans or combination
no-stick spray

INGREDIENTS – ICING

6 tablespoons butter (softened)
1 pound confectionery sugar
8 ounces cream cheese (softened)
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

SPECIAL UTENSIL

electric mixer
9″ x 13″ casserole dish
3 mixing bowls (Or are you an outstanding chef like my Grandma Anna wished us all to be and clean bowls and utensils as you cook?)
sonic obliterator

PREPARATION – MAIN

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Add eggs to first large mixing bowl. Beat eggs with electric mixer until frothy. (The eggs, not you.) Gradually add sugar and light brown sugar. Blend using electric mixer set on whip until well blended. Add carrots, vegetable oil, allspice, cinnamon, ginger, and salt. Blend with mixer set on whip until well blended.

Add flour and baking soda to second large mixing bowl. Mix with whisk. Add flour/baking soda from second mixing bowl to first mixing bowl. Blend with electric mixer set on cake until blended. Add nuts and stir with spoon.

Spray casserole dish with no-stick spray. Pour eggs/sugar/spice/baking soda mixture into casserole dish. Smooth with spatula. Bake at 350 degrees for 35-to-45 minutes or until toothpick inserted in center of cake comes out clean. Let cool on wire rack for 1 hour.

(Okay, little secret here. You can cool the cake down considerably faster by putting the casserole dish in cold water in the sink. Be sure the water is only halfway to the top of the casserole dish. If your casserole dish is too big for the sink, simply put it in the bathtub. Again, let the water go no higher than halfway up the side of the casserole dish. If someone happens to see your cake cooling in the bathtub and makes a snarky comment, zap him with your sonic obliterator. You don’t need that negativity in your life.)

PREPARATION – ICING

While cake bakes, add butter, confectionery sugar, cream cheese, and vanilla extract to third mixing bowl (Note: this cookbook always employs the Oxford when providing a list of ingredients. Long live the Oxford comma! Vexation to its enemies!) Ahem, beat ingredients using electric beater set on cream until ingredients become a fluffy icing.

TIDBITS

1) The famous French Painter, Paul Cézanne believed, “A single carrot newly observed will cause a revolution.”

2) Eleven years after Cézanne died, the Russian Revolution began. People in the streets of St. Petersburg, the Russian capital, had been starving. They couldn’t afford the price of a loaf of bread.

4) Desperate to maintain order, the czar and his ministers bought up food from all over the world. They purchased cabbages from Germany, eggs from Sweden, and carrots from the gardens of Cezanne’s children. The authorities even bought beans, cotija cheese, and tortillas from Mexico. Surely, the rioters would be placated by burritos. I mean, who doesn’t like a burrito?

5) Unfortunately, as in the case of many governmental programs, well intentioned though they might be, something went wrong. The newly formed Russian Ministry of Burrito Assembly put a raw carrot in every burrito.

6) The Russian rabble rebel not appreciate the taste of the raw carrot, bean, and cheese burrito. They did not like its texture either. They did not like it in the city square. They did not like in their hair. They did not like it in the air. They did not like it anywhere.

7) So the Russians did not eat these burritos. And they grew hungrier and hungrier.

8) Then an artist named Ivan Popoff came across one of the burritos lying–Oh gosh, I hope I conjugated this evil verb correctly–split open on the street. Something about the burrito’s carrot struck him. “Oh ho,” he said, “I am observing this carrot in an entirely new way.” Lenin, a passerby, heard this and immediately started the Russian Revolution.

9) Millions died during the Russian Revolution and the ensuing decades.

10) We should all pay more attention to French post-impressionist painters.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Castro Burger

Cuban Entree

CASTRO BURGER

INGREDIENTS

1 pound ground pork
1/2 pound ground beef
1 onion
2 cloves garlic
1 teaspoon cumin
1/2 teaspoon ground mustard
1 teaspoon oregano
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 14.5 ounce cans diced tomatoes
6  Swiss cheese slices
Dill Sandwich StackersTM Pickles
yellow mustard
6 French rolls (Use Cuban bread if you can find it.)
No mayonnaise (This is a Cuban no no.)
PREPARATION

Mince onion and garlic cloves. Mix pork, beef, onion, garlic, cumin, mustard, oregano, pepper, and salt by hand. Form six patties. Fry patties in pan until golden brown.

Add diced tomatoes and juice. Cook until tomatoes and juice are hot. Toast rolls. Put patty on roll, followed by a scooping of diced tomatoes, a few pickles, and a slice of Swiss Cheese. Spread mustard on the top half of the roll and put on top of the patty and fixings. Andale.

TIDBITS

1) Some decades ago, Fidel Castro decided communist Cuba could do as well as McDonald’sTM. To back up this bold assertion, they announced the construction of roadside stands selling burgers and orange drinks. The meat in the burgers was guaranteed to contain at least 60% pork. They didn’t identify the meat comprising the other 40%.

2) This dish is in homage to Fidel Castro. Thanks Fidel, without you this dish would never have been created.

3) Fidel Castro was a good baseball player in his youth and probably would made it at least to minor leagues if he hadn’t decided to throw it all away to make a revolution.

4) Lenin caused the Russian Revolution which caused millions of people to die. His successor Stalin is responsible for tens of millions more.

5) Neither Lenin nor Stalin showed any aptitude for baseball. Coincidence, perhaps?

6) One of the first professional baseball teams in Russia played next to a missile base.

7) During the 1990s, Moscow’s utility company shut down all electricity to Russia’s command center for its nuclear strike force. Until Russia paid its electric bill, it’s nuclear missiles were useless.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: