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Cuban Arroz Con Pollo Recipe

Cuban Entree

ARROZ CON POLLO

INGREDIENTSArrozCP-

2 cups rice
3 chicken breasts or 2 pounds chicken parts
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1/4 teaspoon cumin
1/4 teaspoon oregano
1/4 teaspoon paprika
2 tablespoons olive oil
3 garlic cloves
1 medium onion
1 bay leaf
1/2 green bell pepper
1/2 red bell pepper
1/medium tomato
1 1/2 tablespoons lemon juice
2/3 cup white wine
2 cup chicken broth
1/2 teaspoon cilantro.

PREPARATION

Cook rice according to instructions on package.

While rice is cooking, cut chicken breasts into 1″ cubes. (If you are using parts such as chicken legs, leave them as they are.) Mince garlic and onion, Dice green and red bell peppers. Coat chicken with black pepper, cumin, oregano, and paprika. Puree tomato.

Add olive oil, garlic, and onion to frying pan. Sauté on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion turns soft. Add spice-coated chicken, bay leaf, green and red bell pepper, tomato, lemon juice, wine, and chicken broth. Bring to boil at high heat then reduce to low and simmer for 20-to-30 minutes or until chicken is cooked through. (You might have to cut off a bit and taste. Maybe taste a second piece, a third…)

Serve with rice in a bowl. Garnish with cilantro.

TIDBITS

1) Sugar was first made into cubes in Cuba. That’s why we call sugar “cubes.” Before cubes, sugar had always been scooped.

2) People would always ask, “One or two spoons?” when serving sugar with coffee.

3) Indeed, specialized spoons were made for sugar. The first major producer of sugar spoons was Krupp of Essen, Germany.

4) Krupp made a fortune off their sugar spoons. So much so they were able to enter the burgeoning armaments industry.

5) Germany bought so much artillery from Krupp in the 1900s that it started an arms race in Europe. The heavily armed nations of Europe inevitably went to war in 1914.

6) A scarred Germany resentful of the peace terms imposed by the victorious powers in 1918 seethed for revenge.

7) And so, World War II erupted in 1939. The years from 1939 to 1945 were a bummer.

8) The war alliance between The United States and the Soviet Union proved ephemeral. (Cool word, huh?) They soon constructed vast arsenals to intimidate each other.

9) Tensions between America and Russia lessened considerably in the 1990s when the countries’ presidents took the first step toward peace, The Lutefisk Ban treaty.

10) Or so I’ve heard.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Simple Hawaiian Pancakes Recipe

Hawaiian Entree

SIMPLE HAWAIIAN PANCAKES

INGREDIENTSHawaWaf-

8 frozen waffles
4 tablespoons butter
1/3 cup sugar
3 tablespoons milk
1/2 cups pineapple juice
4 ounce can pineapple chunks

PREPARATION

Toast waffles according to instructions on package. Cut butter into 16 pats. Combine in mixing bowl: sugar, milk, and pineapple juice. Place equal amounts of butter and mixed juice and 2-to-4 pineapple chunks of each toasted waffle. Aloha!

TIDBITS

1) In 1869, women of Wyoming got the right to vote. The waffle iron was first patented in 1869. It was a good year.

2) One-hundred years later, the amazing New York Mets won their first World Series championship after years of last place finishes. Coincidence? I don’t think so.

3) The waffle began its illustrious culinary journey during the Middle Ages. The waffle! So if someone calls this era the Dark Ages, waggle your finger at the fool and say, “Nooooo!”

4) The waffle became so popular that bloody fights became common between waffle vendors seeking prime locations. So much so, that a King of France took off time from wars and mistresses to decree a minimum distance between the warring vendors.

5) It has been said the French Revolution started in 1789 in part by disgruntled vendors seeking to throw out royal enforcement of the waffle decrees.

6) America annexed Hawaii in 1898 to ensure a steady supply of pineapple chunks in juice for its burgeoning appetite for Hawaiian waffles. A drastic measure perhaps, but it is worthwhile to note America has never since been involved in any military conflict over foreign pineapples. The same cannot be said for oil.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Los Candidatos Need Your Votes

Candace C. Bowen and I really need your votes if Bacon & Chocolate is to win today in Venezuela’s election. Do not let trifles such as wrong citizenship or the nearest polling booth being thousands of miles away deter you. Vote often! Excelsior! Cowabunga!

flag

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Prestigious, Rousing Endorsements for my Presidential Candidacy of Venezuela

My run for the office of El Presidente of Venezuela nearly derailed when I momentarily forget how to spell “candidacy” for this blog’s title. But I flagremembered. Whew! Anyway, I’ve been telling you, the Venezuelan voters, how I will help you or at the very least inflict the least harm of any candidate. But why take the word of someone who has run for political office, golfed, and fished?  Look at the glowing endorsements below.

“You are much more qualified than the Chavista bus driver (Maduro), and offer better perks (Bacon & Chocolate- For the People!) than the other challanger (Capriles). DeLancey for El Presidente!”
– Jonna Pattillo

“You have the full support of The Cookie Party.”
– Wayne DePriest

“Glad to know the BCP has gone post-nationalist.”
– Blaise Marcoux

“Vote Early, vote often!”
– Jonna Pattillo

“You have my endorsement. As a token of my endorsement I am sending you a fish with an endorsal fin.”
– Steve Kramer

“I really think the people of Venezuela should vote for you instead of that morally compromised bus driver turned politico. After all – You offer bacon and chocolate instead of just popular television….”
– Jonna Pattillo

“You have my endorsement, but don’t be in any hurry to cash the check.”
– Wayne DePriest

“The Lascaux Review officially endorses Paul De Lancey of the Bacon & Chocolate Party for the office of President of Venezuela.”
– Stephen Parrish

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Candace C. Bowen – Bacon & Chocolate Party’s Great Candidate for Vice President of Venezuela

My Dear Venezuelans:
Are you tired of the status-quo? Of course you are! Tomorrow you have a chance for change. Join presidential candidate Paul De Lancey and yoursflag truly to ride the dark horse to election victory. Like our fellow candidates in every nation, we will make impossible promises that we have no intention of actually keeping. Do you love bacon, chocolate and Venezuelan hot dogs? Who doesn’t? We will fill every household with a lifetime supply. Take your family and friends to the polls tomorrow and help us declare victory. Vote twice for good measure and we’ll throw in imported relish for your hot dogs. Bring your enemies and we’ll throw in organic mustard and ketchup. The time is now to make a stand my friends. Viva la bacon and chocolate!
Candace C. Bowen
Candidate for Vice President

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Running For El Presidente of Venezuela: My Plans

To all the Venezuelans who might be holding back on voting for me Sunday simply because I live in San Diego, rest assured I will fly down right away to Caracas, the capital, to assume my presidential duties if elected. Indeed, here are my flight plans assuming I get sworn in on June 4.

venezuel

Once I get there I will vigorously press for affordable bacon, chocolate, and Venezuelan hot dogs. Then I’ll take a nap.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Why You Should Make Me El Presidente Of Venezuela

Hi! People Of Venezuela. My main competitor, Senor Madero promises everything, maduro
including “To be the salvation of the human species on the planet.” (See poster point 7.) That is indeed a worthy goal. Yet, I entertain doubts he can achieve this. And while he is failing at that, might he not neglect things that matter dearly to the great Venezuelan people?

Such as Bacon, Chocolate, and the Venezuelan hot dog. Have I stood up for bacon? Have I stood up for chocolate? Yes, I have. See the poster for the Bacon & Chocolate Party.

Can I make a Venezuelan hot dog? Yes, I can. See proof below.

Can I speak Spanish?

Si.

“Vote Bocino y Chocolate para una Mañana sabrosa.”

 

B&Ctasty

venezhd-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Papas Chorreadas (Colombian Potatoes With Cheese And Tomato Sauce)

Colombian Entree

PAPAS CHORREADAS
(Potatoes with cheese and tomato sauce)

INGREDIENTSpapasch-

5 red potatoes
1 small white onion
5 Roma tomatoes
2 tablespoons olive oil
1/2 teaspoon chili powder
1/2 teaspoon cumin
1 teaspoon cilantro
1/2 tablespoon flour
1 cup heavy cream
6 ounces mozzarella

PREPARATION

Heat water on high temperature in large pot. While water comes to boil: wash potatoes, mince onion, and dice tomatoes. Put potatoes in boiling water. Cook on medium-high heat for about 30 minutes or until potatoes are soft to the fork. Remove potatoes.

While potatoes are cooking, add olive oil, onion, chili powder, cumin, and cilantro. Sauté on medium-high heat for about 5-to-10 minutes or until onions are tender. Stir frequently. Mix in flour. Add heavy cream and mozzarella. Cook for about 5 minutes until cheese melts and sauce boils. Stir frequently. Remove from heat. (Note, the culinary arts concern themselves exclusively with solid and melted or liquid cheese. I have yet to see a cookbook or recipe that calls for gaseous cheese. Imagine being able to breathe cheese. Warning! Cheese air is really hot.)

Cut potatoes in half. Pour sauce evenly over each potato.

What do you think of this recipe?

TIDBITS

1) In English, chorreadas means “to pour.”

2) And papa is Spanish for potato.

3) While papa is Latin for pope.

4) Don’t confuse your Latin with your Spanish. Pope Francis is not Potato Francis nor does Papas Chorreadas mean Pope To Pour.

5) Saint Francis showed the world how it was good to be poor.

6) I like to think Saint Francis would have liked this dish. He’s one of my favorite saints.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Updating Mark Twain’s Picket Fence

Perhaps you’re worried you guns will be taken from you. Perhaps you want something that will deter a vicious intruder in your home more than dewaltyour current arsenal of rubber bands, but is less lethal than an assault weapon in case of accidental use by the family. If so, DeWalt has something for you. Look at the weapon to the right. This baby can shoot a 16-D nail through a 2×4 at 200 yards.

But is it any use outside of defending your family from armed attackers? Is it dual purpose like my kitchen mallet that can crush  the skull of the robber inside my living room or flatten that chicken breast to make scallopini?

Yes it is. Remember famous scene where Tom Sawyer so convinces his friends that painting a picket fence is such fun they even pay him for the privilege of painting? Well suppose you want to put a picket fence around your front yard. You don’t want one of those faux plastic picket fences. You want an honest -to-goodness wooden one. But gosh you say, nailing all those pickets will take forever with a hammer. Is there an easier way?

I’m glad you asked. Simply lean all the pickets against the cross boards of your fence. Stock your lawn table with plenty of beer and pretzels and invite all your friends who own a DeWalt nail gun over for a party. Challenge your friends to hit those little pickets. After a few beers, they’ll be blazing away with their DeWalts. Over the course of an hour of shooting, enough bulls-eyes will occur to nail your fence together. And with a range of 200 yards you can put up a rather long picket fence. And like Tom Sawyer you’ll be the only one to know it was supposed to be work.

Of course, it must be said many of the fired nails will not hit their targets. Best to invite all your neighbors and their pets to your beer-and-pretzel party. Remember, the best position on guns is behind them.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

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Avery Debow, Winner of Bump Off Your Enemies Literary Event

In the Bump Off Your Enemies Literary Event, I am pleased to announce winner number one of two. Please join with me in congratulating Avery for her submission; HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

averydeb

By: Avery DeBow

The desktop fan ruffled the ribbon. The loops swelled like the waves of a tiny blue ocean. A surprise, indeed. He hadn’t received a present from an employee… Ever. He picked at the wrapping, first tentatively, but with more zeal as the shreds of paper fell away. He lifted off the lid, his mind ticking through ideas of what lay inside, the hope of at last being respected filling his tight little chest. The tissue paper rustled. A creature—might have been a rat before whatever dreaded disease consuming it had ravaged its body and turned it into a pustulous, skeletal horror—leapt from the folds. He shrieked as it came. And again as it latched on.

Rows of eyes studied him through the slats in the blinds, each hungrily fixed on the foul beast injecting demise into his veins. Their work done, his staff drifted away, bled into the shadows they occupied, the shadows cast by his oversized office and always closed door.

He meant to shake off the creature, but that seemed wrong, somehow. After all, they had finally given him a gift, and had even taken the time to staple a birthday hat to its head.
✍ ✍ ✍ ✍ ✍
Avery DeBow is the author of the dark fantasy novel, Resonance. Her website is www.averydebow.com.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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