Posts Tagged With: cookbook

Dutch Apple Pie

Dutch Dessert

APPLE PIE

INGREDIENTS – CRUSTApplePie-

¾ cup butter (another 6 tablespoons later)
1½ cups flour (another 1 cup later)
2 tablespoons brown sugar (another ¼ cup later)
¼ teaspoon salt

INGREDIENTS – FILLING

5 Granny Smith or green apples
3 tablespoons cornstarch
⅓ cup sugar (another ¼ cup later)
½ cup water
½ teaspoon cinnamon
¼ teaspoon nutmeg
½ teaspoon vanilla extract
½ cup heavy cream

INGREDIENTS – TOPPING

1 cup flour
¼ cup sugar
¼ cup brown sugar
6 tablespoons butter

SPECIAL UTENSIL

9″ pie plate

PREPARATION – CRUST

Melt ¾ cup butter. Add 1½ cups flour, brown sugar, ¾ cup melted butter, and salt to large mixing bowl. Mix with hands until well blended and mixture becomes a big ball. Press mixture into pie plate.

PREPARATION – FILLING

Peel and dice apples. Add cornstarch, ⅓ cup sugar, water, cinnamon, and nutmeg to mixing bowl. Stir with whisk until smooth. Add mixture to saucepan. Bring to boil using medium-high heat. Cook for 2 minutes or until mixture thickens. Stir constantly. Remove mixture from heat. Add apples and vanilla extract. Stir with whisk. Pour filling into crust. Preheat oven to 360 degrees.
PREPARATION – TOPPING

Add 1 cup flour, ¼ cup sugar, ¼ cup brown sugar, and 6 tablespoons butter to mixing bowl. Mix with whisk until well blended. Crumble topping mixture over filling. Bake at 360 degrees for 40-to-50 minutes or until topping turns golden brown.

TIDBITS

1) The Spanish Inquisition sentenced the entire Dutch population to death in 1568. Tough love, you bet.

2) Or maybe the Spanish Inquisition was just really, really tough on scofflaws.

3) The Dutch give free heroin three time a day to addicts.

4) Contrast the Dutch government’s attitude to heroin addicts versus that of the Spanish Inquisition to the entire Dutch population. The Dutch policy actually resulted in lower rates of heroin addiction while the Spanish policy resulted in a bloody 80-year war with the Dutch

5) If life gives you heroin, make …

6) No, that slogan doesn’t work.

7) If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

8) If life gives you rotten lemons, make rotten lemonade.

9) If life gives you lemons, keep them, well, because they’re free.

10) If life gives your proctologist lemons, reschedule your appointment.

11) If life is dyslexic, it will give you melons.

12) If life gives you lemons, 4 chicken breasts, 1 teaspoon salt, 1¼ cups plain yogurt, ½ onion, 2 garlic cloves, 1 tablespoon garam masala, 1 teaspoon cayenne, ½ teaspoon coriander, 1 teaspoon paprika, and 1 small tomato, make Chicken Tandoori.

13) If life give you Le Mans, go to the race there.

14) If life give you Lenin, emigrate.

15) If life gives you Lennon, “Let It Be.”

16) Bees like lemon blossoms.

17) So life gives us all critters lemons. It’s not just a humano, new word, centric thing.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Colombian Hot Dogs

Colombian Entree

HOT DOGS

INGREDIENTSHotDogs-

1 20-ounce can crushed pineapple
1 tablespoon lime juice
2½ tablespoons cornstarch
8 hot dogs
8 buns
1⅓ cup coleslaw (see recipe)
¾ cup shredded mozzarella cheese
7¼-ounce bag plain potato chips
¼ cup ketchup
¼ cup mayonnaise
¼ cup mustard

SPECIAL UTENSIL

blender

PREPARATION

Add crushed pineapple and its syrup to blender. Puree until completely smooth Add pureed pineapple juice and lime juice to pot. Cook on low heat for 10 minutes. Stir occasionally. Gradually add cornstarch. Stir frequently. Increase heat to high and bring to boil. Cook for 5 minutes or until sauce thickens. Stir constantly. Remove from heat

Place hot dogs in pot. Add enough water to cover. Boil with high heat for 5 minutes. While hot dogs boil, toast hot dog buns and crush potato chips.. (It helps keep them from falling apart from the sauce.) Add a hot dog and an equal amount of pineapple sauce, coleslaw, mozzarella cheese, potato chips, ketchup, mayonnaise, and mustard to each bun. (Eat with the cut of the bun facing up. Serve with napkins. This is a messy hot dog.)

TIDBITS

1) I missed going to the laziness museum in Bogota, Colombia. Its exhibits stressed televisions, beds, and sofas. This place would have great for anyone wanting to participate in the Colombian siesta and absorb the country’s rich and varied culture. No, it wasn’t because I was lazy. I didn’t know it was there. Honest. But I have been too lazy to look up the official name of the museum. That’s kinda like being there in lazy spirit.

2) The museum was only open for a week. Perhaps the organizers and workers only needed a week to make their statement about the hectic global lifestyle. Perhaps they were too lazy to work any longer than that. Who can say?

3) Excuse me, I need a nap. Zzzzz…..

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Crispy Shredded Beef Tacos

Mexican Entree

CRISPY SHREDDED BEEF TACOS

INGREDIENTSCrispyShreddedBeefTacos-

1 medium yellow onion
2 pounds rump roast
½ tablespoon chili powder
½ tablespoon cumin
½ teaspoon salt
4 garlic cloves
4 ounces diced green chiles

5 green onion stalks
4 Roma tomatoes
¼ head lettuce
2 cups vegetable oil
12 corn tortillas
2 cups Four Mexican Cheeses
1 cup crema Mexicana
1 cup salsa

SPECIAL UTENSILS

crock pot or slow cooker
9″ loaf pan
electric skillet
Lazy Susan

takes about 7 hours

PREPARATION

Slice onion into thin rings. Rub rump roast with: chili powder, cumin, and salt. Dice garlic. Add ½ of onion slices to bottom of crock pot. Add rubbed rump roast, garlic, and green chiles. Top roast with remaining ½ onion slices. Add water to cover roast. Cover crock pot. Cook on low for about 7 hours or until roast is tender enough to be easily pulled apart by a pair of forks. Shred roast with forks. (Save liquid from crock pot, it makes a great broth.)

Dice green onion and tomatoes. Shred lettuce. Add vegetable oil to skillet. Heat oil to 375 degrees. The oil is hot enough if it sizzles when a tortilla is added. Add 1 tortilla at a time. Use tongs to sauté tortilla for 15 seconds on each side. The tortilla should be crispy but still flexible enough to be folded. Fold tortilla in half and place it upright in bread pan.. Put a paper towel on each side of tortilla to drain off grease. Repeat for 11 remaining tortillas.

Place tortillas, shredded beef, green onion, tomato, cheese, lettuce, cheese, crema Mexicana, and salsa in Lazy Susan. I love tacos. I always asked for it on my birthday. when I was a kid.

TIDBITS

1) Señor Pedro Lascuráin was president of Mexico for only fifteen minutes in 1913.

2) He did not accomplish much.

3) However, nearly all of Europe went to war in 1914. World War I lasted four years, involved many nations and resulted in millions of casualties. The unsettled conditions of World War I resulted in the Communist Revolution in Russia and the Nazi seizure of power in Germany. The communists shed much blood before and during World War II.

4) Makes Lascuráin’s administration look positively great in comparison.

5) I don’t think El Presidente Lascuráin shed much blood at all during his term in office, unless he gave himself a nasty paper cut while signing his acceptance or resignation papers.

6) Mexico has remained at peace ever since the end of the Mexican Revolution. I think it’s because of the peaceful example of President Lascuráin.

7) Poway, California, my fair town, has been at peace with all its neighbors even since I moved in.

8) My presidential term of office, zero minutes, is similar in length to President Lascuráin’s.

9) El Presidente Lascuráin probably had a paper cut. I’ve had paper cuts. Gentle reader, I’m guessing you’ve a paper cut as well. They hurt, don’t they?

10) Señor Lascuràin, the Great Man of Peace, often ate Mexican food. I love Mexican food. He had a Mexican grandmother. I had a Mexican grandmother. He was subject to the Laws of Physics. So am I.

11) It’s all uncanny. If Lascuràin had lived at the same time, people would have had trouble distinguishing between the two of us.

12) I wonder. I wonder.

13) I look at his picture on the internet. I run to the bathroom and look in the mirror.

14) Whew! Lascuràin and I are not the same person.

15) But Poway is at peace with all the neighboring towns. Can a Nobel Peace Prize for me be far behind?

16) I do hope I don’t get a paper cut while signing for my prize.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Brazilan Kebabs

Brazilian Entree

KEBABS

INGREDIENTSKebab-

1¾ pounds rump steak
2 garlic cloves
¼ teaspoon cayenne
½ teaspoon cumin
½ teaspoon paprika
¼ teaspoon pepper
¼ teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons lemon juice
¼ cup olive oil

1 yellow onion
½ pound bacon
1 yellow bell pepper
10 ounces plum tomatoes

SPECIAL UTENSIL

barbecue grill

PREPARATION

Cut steak into 1½” cubes. Mince garlic. Add steak cubes, garlic, cayenne, cumin, paprika, pepper, and salt to large mixing bowl. Toss steak cubes until they are well coated with spices. Add lemon juice and oil. Gently toss steak cubes. Put mixing bowl in refrigerator for 2 hours to marinate.

While steak cubes marinate, cut onion into 1½” cubes. (Well, make the best cubes you can out of a round onion. This recipes yearns for a cubic, organic onion) Cut bacon in 1½” long rectangles. Remove seeds from bell pepper and cut into 1½” squares. Thread steak cubes, onion cubes, bacon, bell-pepper squares, and plum tomatoes onto skewers. Heat grill to 450 degrees..Grill kebabs for 1-to-2 minutes Rotates kebabs ¼ turn and grill for another 1-to-2 minutes. Keep rotating and grilling kebabs until meat is done to your liking.

TIDBITS

1) Brazilian bus drivers once trained beetles to retrieve coins from the fare boxes. Police arrested all humans and beetles from this daring criminal ring. I wonder if the charges against the beetles were dropped. How do you read rights to a beetle? Or do beetles have no legal rights in Brazil?

2) The prospect of insect crime keeps me up at night. Sure, I can lock my doors, even deadbolt them. But is my home truly secure when any robber can get his trained termites to eat a large hole in my front door? The best defense against this is an army of ants. Ants hate termites. Just make sure your ants have enough to do. Bored ants tend to wander to the bed where they inhibit whoopee.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Algerian Fruit Salad (chlada fakya)

Algerian Dessert

FRUIT SALAD
(chlada fakya)

INGREDIENTSFruitSalad-

½ honeydew or cantaloupe
2 apples
2 bananas
5 oranges
6 strawberries
½ teaspoon cinnamon
2 tablespoons sugar
¼ cup lemon juice
⅓ cup orange juice
2 tablespoons orange blossom water
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

PREPARATION

Peel and seed honeydew. Cut honeydew and apples into ½” cubes. Peel bananas and cut into ½” slices. Peel and seed oranges. Separate orange wedges. Cut orange wedges in half. Remove stems from strawberries. Cut each strawberry into 6 pieces.

Add honeydew, apple, banana, strawberry, and orange to large mixing bowl. Gently toss fruit. Add cinnamon, sugar, lemon juice, orange juice, orange blossom water, and vanilla extract to small mixing bowl. Mix with whisk until sugar dissolves. Sprinkle liquid over fruit in large mixing bowl. Toss gently. Serve immediately or chill for up to 2 hours. Toss again after chilling.

TIDBITS

1) Albert Camus was born in Algeria. He won a Nobel Prize.

2) Claude Cohen-Tannoudji was born in Algeria. He won a Nobel Prize.

3) I was not born in Algeria. I have not won a Nobel Prize.

4) Monsieur Camus played goalie for the University of Algiers soccer team.

5) I played goalie a few time in Australian league play.

6) So, playing soccer doesn’t help you win a Nobel Prize. And Monsieur Cohen-Tannoudji got his prize without any known soccer playing. And calling the game football doesn’t help either.

7) The main thing is to be born in Algeria.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Åland Semolina Pancake with Prune Sauce

Finnish Breakfast

ÅLAND SEMOLINA PANCAKE WITH PRUNE SAUCE

INGREDIENTS – PANCAKEAlandSemolina-

2¾ cups milk
¾ cup semolina or Cream of WheatTM
½ tablespoon cardamom
4 eggs
¼ teaspoon salt
¾ cup sugar
1 cup flour
no-stick spray.

INGREDIENTS – PRUNE SAUCE

12 pitted prunes
3⅔ cups water (½ cup more later)
1 cinnamon stick
1 cup sugar
2 tablespoons corn flour
⅓ cup water

whipped cream (optional or is it?)

SPECIAL UTENSIL

9″ x 12″ baking dish

Serves 8

PREPARATION – PANCAKE

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Spray baking dish with no-stick spray.

Add milk to pot. Simmer milk on low heat until milk warms. Stir frequently. Gradually add in semolina. Stir constantly to prevent lumps. Remove semolina porridge from heat.

Add cardamom, eggs, salt, and sugar to large mixing bowl. Mix with whisk until foamy. (Scare away unwanted visitors by smearing this mixture on your mouth before you open the front door.) Add flour and semolina porridge to mixing bowl. Stir with whisk until batter is well blended.

Pour batter into baking dish. Put baking dish in oven. Bake at 400 degrees for 30-to-6o minutes or until pancake is firm and golden brown.

PREPARATION – PRUNE SAUCE

While pancake bakes, dice prunes. Add prunes and 3⅔ cups water to pot. Soak for 40 minutes. Add cinnamon stick. Boil to boil on high heat. Reduce heat to medium-high and cook for xx minutes or until prunes soften. Add sugar. Stir until sugar dissolves. Remove from heat.

Add corn flour and ⅓ cup water to small bowl, . Mix with whisk until well blended. Add corn flour/water mix to pot. Bring prune sauce to boil using high heat. Stir constantly. Cook for 1 minute or until prune sauce thickens. Remove cinnamon stick. Pour into serving tray.

PREPARATION – FINAL

Cut pancake into 8 squares. Top pancakes square with prune sauce and whipped cream, if necessary. (Oh, of course it is.)

TIDBITS

1) The penalty for speeding in Finland varies with income. An American CEO might be fined over a million dollars. Tough country on scofflaws, you bet.

2) If you lose your shirt to Finland’s highway patrol, why not indulge your self with a Sauna? Be advised, social norms require you to be naked in the sauna. But you’re already half disrobed, having forfeited your shirt in tidbit 1).

3) It’s also quite acceptable for a bunch of friends to go to sauna together. Where everyone is naked. Good friends indeed.

4) Finland must not have many introverts.

5) It’s considered normal to leave the sauna, run outside, and jump in the nearest lake.

6) Although if its winter, it’s advisable to cut a hole in the lake before jumping.

7) Finns must have strong hearts.

8) What do Finns do if the nearest lake is twenty-six miles away and it’s freezing outside?

9) Run fast! It’s quite possible that Finland has the greatest number of saunas that are exactly twenty-six miles, the distance of a marathon, away of any nation in the world. This explains why Finland routinely garners the gold, silver, and bronze medals at every Nude Winter Marathon event.

10) Ancient Greeks invented the marathon. Or did they? Current speculation has Greece being invaded and settled by Finns around 1,700 B.C.. Finding ancient spas in Greece would go along way to proving this theory to the scientific community.

11) Some people point to the modern nude marathoners of Finland and the naked ancient Greek athletes as evidence of a vast Graeco-Finn empire around 1,450 B.C.. Why is there no evidence of this enormous realm? The au naturel Finns and Greeks, of course, wore no shirts. No shirts, no shirt pockets. No shirt pockets, no pens. No pens, no written history, and Bob’s your uncle.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Danish Egg Cake (æggekage)

Danish Entree

EGG CAKE
(æggekage)

INGREDIENTSEggCake-

12 ounces bacon
1/2 small onion
¼ cup fresh basil
8 eggs
¼ cup flour
1½ cups milk
¼ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon salt
no-stick spray

SPECIAL UTENSILS

electric beater
large oven-proof pan

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 430 degrees. Cut bacon into ½” squares. Mince onion. Dice basil. Fry bacon in an on medium-high heat until golden and crispy. Stir frequently. (Be careful. Use one hand to hold the lid between you and the bacon or tilt the pan away from you when you stir.) Remove bacon and set on paper towel to drain. Clean pan.

Add eggs, flour, milk, pepper, and salt to mixing bowl. Mix with electric beater send on lowest setting until well blended and eggs begin to fluff. Spray oven-proof pan with no-stick spray. Add egg/flour mixture to pan. Reduce heat to medium. Cook for 4 minutes.

Place pan in oven Bake at 430 degrees for 15 minutes or until pancake becomes golden brown. Remove pancake from oven. Sprinkle bacon squares, onion, and basil on middle of egg pancake.

TIDBITS

1) Denmark in Danish is Danmark. Danmark was named after a man called Dan. Cool. When I become supreme ruler of the world, this planet will be known as Paul.

2) Rabbit jumping shows are popular in Denmark. These events have an even greater following in its birthplace, Sweden, where it is known as “Kaninhoppning”.

3) Rabbithopping-USA and the U.S. Rabbit Agility Association sponsor America’s rabbit jumping contests. It’s still much more popular in Sweden and Denmark. Sweden has been at peace since 1814; Denmark since 1945. America has fought multiple wars since then. Coincidence? Perhaps.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Burmese Semolina Cake (sanwin makin)

Burmese Dessert

SEMOLINA CAKE
(sanwin makin)

INGREDIENTSSemolinaCake-

1 16-ounce can coconut cream
or 2 14-ounces cans coconut milk.
3 eggs
2 tablespoons sesame seeds
1 cup semolina or cream of wheat
1 cup sugar
¼ cup ghee or butter
½ teaspoon cardamom

Note: if you need to make coconut cream from coconut milk, you will need to keep cans of coconut milk in the fridge overnight.

SPECIAL UTENSIL

8″ square cake pan

PREPARATION – COCONUT CREAM (If you can’t find it in stores.)

Chill coconut milk cans in refrigerator for 24 hours. Open cans and scoop out the thick cream on the top. Keep 16 ounces, or 2 cups, of coconut cream. Use the rest of the coconut cream and the liquid in the bottom of the cans to make coconut-based smoothies

PREPARATION – ONCE YOU HAVE COCONUT CREAM.

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Separate egg yolks from egg whites.

Add sesame seeds to pan. Fry sesame seeds for 3 minutes at medium heat or until seeds brown. Stir constantly. Remove seeds from heat.

Add semolina to large pot. Slowly add in the coconut cream, stirring each time to prevent lumps. Add sugar. Stir until sugar dissolves. Bring to boil using medium heat for 3-to-5 minutes or until mixture begins to thicken. Stir constantly. Add ghee. Cook for 2 minutes or until mixture thickens to the point that it leaves the side of the pot. Remove from heat.

Add cardamom and eggs yolks to pot. Mix with whisk until this batter is well blended. Add egg whites to small mixing bowl. Whisk egg whites until they thicken and form peaks. Fold egg whites into batter. Pour batter into cake pan. Top with sesame seeds. Bake at 325 degrees for about 45 minutes or until cake start to brown or a toothpick inserted in center comes out clean.

Let cool in cake pan. Cut into squares and serve warm.

TIDBITS

1) The Burma-Vita company first produced Burma ShaveTM in 1925. The product was said to include products from Burma. Antarctic Shave wouldn’t have worked. It BurmaShavewould have had to included ice and cubes and penguin meat. No one would have wanted to shave with that, particularly during the summer.

2) At first Burma Shave only sold a bit better than Antarctic Shave.

3) Then Burma Shave came out with a brushless shaving cream. To promote this new, improved product they came up with a brilliant advertising campaign. They put a series of six small signs in a row alongside major roads. Early motorists got a chuckle out of reading them.

4) And they bought Burma Shave. The company became the second-largest seller of brushless shaving cream. The number-one company sold more.

5) Sales of Burma Shave after declined after the development of the atomic bomb.

6) This is probably coincidence.

7) But roadside Burma-Shave signs got put up less and less often with new advancement of nuclear weaponry. Indeed, about a year after the world almost went wonky during the Cuban Missile Crisis, the signs all got taken down.

8) Why do advertisers always say, “new and improved?” Shouldn’t “improved” be implied? Is there really a possibility of companies proudly putting out an product that’s “new and worsened?” How can something be improved if it’s new? You can only improve something that’s been around for a while.

9) Indeed, the first ICBM was just plain new. Now, the second generation of ICBMs could have be improved, but the whole ICBM concept was no longer new. Could the company that made the ICBMs have boasted of “new and improved” nuclear warfare. If so, I must have missed the radio jingle.

10) But the fond memories of the Burma-Shave signs never left our hearts. They would show up again and again in literature, including the very best of cat-herding novels, The Fur West.

11) There is no evidence that cats ever read the Burma-Shave signs. Cats do not shave. Coincidence?
Perhaps.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

My Inert Self

People keep telling me to get in touch with my inert self. I did. Nothing happened.

– Zen Paul

 

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: humor, recipes, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Gallo Pinto

Nicaraguan Entree

GALLO PINTO

INGREDIENTSGalloPinto-

1 medium onion (1 more onion later)
2 garlic cloves
2 tablespoons vegetable oil (2 tablespoons more later)
1½ cup white rice
3 cups vegetable or chicken broth
½ teaspoon salt
1 medium onion
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 pound cooked red beans (Drain if from can)
2 tablespoons fresh cilantro

PREPARATION

Mince 1 onion and garlic cloves. Add 2 tablespoons oil, 1 minced onion, and garlic cloves to pot. Sauté on medium-high heat or until onion softens Stir frequently. Add rice. Sauté rice for 3 minutes or until grains are shiny and coated with oil. Stir constantly. (Sautéing the rice will keep it from becoming mushy when boiled later.)

Add broth and salt. Bring to boil using medium-high heat until most of the liquid has evaporated and bubbles appear on surface of rice. Cover and reduce heat to warm. Simmer on warm for 15 minutes. Do not stir rice. (The rice can be prepared up to 24 hours in advance.)

While rice simmers, mince 1 onion and dice cilantro. Add 2 tablespoons vegetable oil and 1 minced onion to pan. Sauté on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Add red beans and this batch of sautéed onion to pot. Cook on low-medium heat for 10 minutes. Stir occasionally. Garnish with cilantro.

TIDBITS

1) The people of Masaya celebrates the Festival of San Lazaro by dressing up their dogs in elaborate costumes and giving thanks at church for their pets good health.

2) By all means go to the towns of San Juan de Oriente, Diriá, and Diriomo for their fiestas. Their dancing warriors beat each other over the head with bulls’ penises.

3) There are no street names in Nicaragua! Addresses are given by referring to major land marks. My home would be three blocks south from the restaurant where I believe that guy got murdered a couple of decades ago. Then turn left at the first intersection past the one with traffic lights. I have an olive tree and a few cacti in front. Of course, you might get lost trying to find that restaurant. It happened long enough ago that most people don’t know about it. Let me know if you’re in the neighborhood and I’ll send up a flare.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.