Posts Tagged With: coffee

Essential Spanish Phrases – Lesson 1

Posted on September 9, 2024 by pauldelancey

The world is getting more cosmopolitan everyday as travel gets ever easier. You might find yourself in Mexico, Spain, Peru, or even Argentina. You meet a native. Perhaps you wish to order a sandwich or a coffee. You might want directions to your hotel. What happens then? Nothing. You freeze. You know no local words because you daydreamed in Spanish class. Instead, you drew pictures of your current heartthrob, didn’t you? Well, you’re stuck. How will you survive?

Fear not. You don’t need to know what every noun is in Spanish. You especially don’t need the ability to conjugate every Spanish verb.

No! But you will need to remember translations for key phrases if you hope to survive in the lands of the Spanish.

And De Lancey’s Essential Spanish Phrases Course is here to help. Just subscribe and soon every Spanish city will be your oyster.

And now, Lesson 1:

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: international, Learning to speak, wise words | Tags: Argentina, bunions, coffee, cosmopolitan, directions, essential, heartthrob, hotel, juanetes, Mexico, Peru, phrases, Spain, Spanish, Spanish class, translations | Leave a comment

What I Did Today

Posted on March 15, 2024 by pauldelancey

Will he like his taco?

Got up, showered, and dressed. It’s important to do this in the right order.

As usual, I did not wake up refreshed. Had a coffee drink.

Went grocery shopping.

Went to exercise class. Getting fit.

Drove home. It was so slow due to huge amounts of traffic and road repair sites that took a major freeway from two lanes to one.

Balanced check book.

Had left overs.

Decided to go back in time to debate philosophy with my man, Plato. However, I speak no ancient Greek and his modern-day English is quite rudimentary. We went to a toga party. Let me tell you, Plato rocks.

We shook hands and went our separate ways. I did give him a taco before I left. That might affect history. I don’t know.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: what I did | Tags: ancient, coffee, Comic Chef, cookbook, debate, English, exercise, Greek, grocery shopping, murders, philosophy, Plato, road repair, thriller, traffic | 1 Comment

Coffee Rub

Posted on March 3, 2024 by pauldelancey

American Appetizer

COFFEE RUB

INGREDIENTS

2½ tablespoons brown sugar

¼ cup ground coffee

1½ tablespoons garlic powder

1½ tablespoons onion powder

2 tablespoons smoked paprika or paprika

½ tablespoon pepper

2 teaspoons salt.

Makes ¾ cup. Takes 5 minutes.

PREPARATION

Add all ingredients to small mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended. Stir in spice jar or airtight container.

Should keep flavor for up to 6 months when stored in an airtight container. Use 1 table-spoon of coffee rub per pound of meat. Rub this seasoning onto meat before grilling.

TIDBITS

1) People often ask me, “Hey Chef Paul, how does your coffee rub compare to the leaning tower of Pisa?” I’m happy to reply.

2) In multiple travel guide books? Leaning Tower: Yes. Coffee Rub: no.

3) Can it stay completely upright?: Leaning Tower: No. Coffee Rub: yes.

4) How long did it take to make it? Leaning Tower: 199 years. Coffee Rub: 5 minutes.

5) How much does it take to get there or make it? Leaning Tower: $600. Coffee Rub: $1.

6) Do you need to travel for a day to get there or assemble the ingredients? Leaning Tower: yes. Coffee Rub: no.

7) Can you create a yummy meal by rubbing it on meat before grilling? Leaning Tower: no. Coffee rub: Yes.

8) Coffee Rub: 5 – Leaning Tower: 1, a convincing win for Coffee Rub over the Leaning Tower.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: cuisine, observations | Tags: American, appetize, brown sugar, Chef Paul, coffee, coffee rub, cookbook, grill, Leaning Tower, Leaning Tower of Pisa, onion powder, Pisa, recipes, smoked paprika, thriller | 1 Comment

Coffee Vanilla Shea Butter Soap

Posted on November 9, 2023 by pauldelancey

COFFEE VANILLA SHEA BUTTER SOAP

INGREDIENTS

2 pounds shea butter base

1 tablespoon isopropyl alcohol

¾ teaspoon coffee essential oil

½ teaspoon vanilla essential oil

½ cup used coffee grounds

isopropyl alcohol or butter to coat molding

and to spray away bubbles forming on soap

SPECIAL UTENSILS

soap mold

spray bottle

microwave

soap slicer (optional)

Makes 10½ bars. 1″ wide. Takes 3 hours 30 minutes..

PREPARATION

Cut shea butter base into 1″ cubes. Add shea butter base to large glass measuring cups. Melt base in microwave with timer set at 30 seconds. Stir after every time. Add 1 tablespoon isopropyl alcohol, coffee essential oil and vanilla essential oil. Stir with knife until well blended. Let sit for 6 minutes or until well blended.. (This inhibits coffee grounds from settling to the bottom of the soap mold.) Add coffee grounds. Mix with knife until well blended.

Rub silicon mold with isopropyl alcohol or butter. Pour into soap mold. If desired, lightly spray bubbles with isopropyl alcohol to make them disappear. Let soap sit for 3 hours. Use soap slicer to cut soap into slices 1″ wide.

TIDBITS

1) Estimates of how many cups of coffee are safe each day for an adult human vary with weight. For our purposes we assume 3 cups of coffee per day is the upper limit of safety for the average Botswanan adult, who weighs in at 140 pounds. Using average weights for various animals we can determine their limits for their daily safe coffee consumption. And here they are:

Botswanan 3 cups

Butterfly 1/700 teaspoon

Cats 3.4 tablespoons

Corgi 7 tablespoons

Goat 1.9 cups

Grizzly bear10.7 cups*

Orca 236 cups*

Rhinoceros 51.5 cups*

Tiger 5 cups*

Wren 1/50 teaspoon

* = People are especially cautioned not to give wild man-eating animals more than their safe limit.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: observations, soap | Tags: alcohol, butterfly, cats, coffee, corgi, cups, drinking, essential oil, isopropyl, orca, rhinoceros, safe, soap, vanilla, wren | Leave a comment

The Birth of the Big Bang Theory

Posted on January 15, 2022 by pauldelancey

The Big Bang Theory’s Inspiration

On November 20, 2020, I confirmed the hypothesis of the Big Bang Theory by spilling a bag of tamarind pods onto the kitchen floor. But who came up with the theory in the first place? And how? Well, in 1949, Fred Hoyle accidentally tipped over his unassembled coffee maker. Coffee beans shot out of the maker at an incredible speed. Well, incredible for a tired uncaffeinated soul. A few minutes later, Fred had a cup of Joe in him. His synapses fired at a prodigious rate.

He surveyed the scattered coffee beans. “Yo ho! This is how the universe came into being. It has to be. It just has to.”

He called his theory, “The Scattered Coffee Beans Theory.” His friends thought this to be a mouthful. Fred mulled on it some more and by the time he started giving lectures on BBC radio, he had taken to calling the birth of the universe, “The Big Bang Theory.” His catchy phrase get on. It was a great breakthrough for a great man.

It is sobering to think that I could have been feted as the Father of the Big Bang Theory, if I had only managed to drop my tamarind pods 63 years earlier. On even if Mr. Hoyle had spilled his beans 63 years later. But neither scenario had happened. Hoyle became a scientific hero. I did not. Life is hard.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: apocalyptic, BBC, beans, Big Bang Theory, coffee, Comic Chef, cookbook, De Lancey, Fred Hoyle, good food, hunks, Lutheran, mushrooms, Paul De Lancey, Paul R. De Lancey, recipes, thriller | 5 Comments

Coffee Pudding

Posted on December 17, 2021 by pauldelancey

Romanian Dessert

COFFEE PUDDING

INGREDIENTS

1 cup strong coffee*
or 1 cup regular coffee plus 4 teaspoons instant coffee)
6 ounces bagels, bread, or dinner rolls**
1 cup milk
4 eggs
⅓ cup butter, softened
¾ cup sugar
no-stick spary

* = Or ¼ cup coffee grounds in 1 cup water
** = 2 bagels, 6 slices bread, or 4 dinner rolls

SPECIAL UTENSILS

coffee maker
blender
electric beater
6 ramekins
9″ * 13″ casserole dish

Serves 6. Takes 1 hour 5 minutes.

PREPARATION

Make 1 cup strong coffee. Put bagels in 1st mixing bowl. Pour coffee over bagels. Let coffee soften bagels. Add coffee, softened bagels, and milk to blender. Puree until you get a paste.

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Separate eggs .Add egg yolks, butter and sugar to 2nd mixing bowl. Combine with fork until well blended. Add this egg/butter/sugar mix to 1st mixing bowl with coffee/bagel. Mix with whisk until well blended. Add egg whites to 3rd mixing bowl. Whip egg whites with electric beater until peaks form. Fold egg whites into coffee/bagel/sugar/egg yolk mix.

Spray ramekins with no-stick spray. Pour mixture into ramekins. Put ramekins in casserole dish. Add water to casserole until water is 2/3 way up the ramekin sides. Bake at 375 degrees for 45 minutes or until surface of puddings become firm to the touch and cracks in the surfaces appear. Goes well with vanilla sugar on top or with a scoop of vanilla cream on the side.

TIDBITS

1) See how, in the above picture, the ramekin filled with coffee pudding has broken down the color of the plate into its constituent colors. All culinary scientists use coffee in their spectrometers.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: cuisine, international | Tags: coffee, Comic Chef, cookbook, culinary, De Lancey, dessert, good food, Lutheran, mushrooms, pudding, recipes, Romanian, scientists, spectrometers, thriller | Leave a comment

Quinoa Api

Posted on December 2, 2021 by pauldelancey

Bolivian Breakfast

QUINOA API

INGREDIENTS

1¼ cups quinoa
2¾ cups milk
2⅔ cups water
1 cinnamon stick
1 tablespoon honey
2½ tablespoons sugar
¼ teaspoon vanilla extract

SPECIAL UTENSIL

fine-mesh colander

Serves 4. Takes 45 minutes.

PREPARATION

Rinse quinoa in colander. Add quinoa and 2⅔ cups water to pot. Bring to boil using medium heat. Stir enough to keep quinoa from burning. Add milk. Bring to boil using medium heat. Stir constantly Reduce heat to low. Add cinnamon stick, honey, sugar, and vanilla extract. Simmer for 35 minutes or until mixture thickens and quinoa cracks open. Stir enough to keep milk and quinoa from burning. Remove cinnamon stick. Serves in bowls.

TIDBITS

1) According to Colombian culinary mythology, quinoa was given us 7,123.26 years ago by the condor god, Yclept.. Yclept also gave them the secret of planting and harvesting, thus freeing the Andean people from hunter gathering. Hunter gathering is much the same thing as driving around from one supermarket to another looking for mocha creamer for your coffee.

2) But with Ycelpt’s help, the Andeans always had quinoa, a great source of nutrition, right at home. This is like winning a refrigerator at a raffle. But there’s more. You open the fridge to see dozens of coffee mocha creamer bottles inside. You are freed, freed I tell you, from searching dispiritedly all over town for coffee mocha creamers.

3) So in gratitude, the Andeans switched from worshiping, Qi the god of hunter gathering to Yclept. Since quinoa looks like the stars, the Andeans worshiped them. This ticked off Qi, who tried to blot out the stars with milk. “Na, na, na, poo, poo,” said Yclept. “You didn’t throw enough milk. You only tossed enough to make the Milky Way.”

4) Yclept was right. We can still see the stars. Whew! We can still spot the Milky way. But we humans eventually got an immensely popular candy bar out of it. The Milky Way gave the Andeans the idea for this Quinoa Api. It just shows you how good things can come out of a god’s tantrum.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: Andean, api, apocalyptic, breakfast, Chef Paul, cinnamon, coffee, Colombian, Comic Chef, De Lancey, God, good food, harvesting, hunter gathering, Lutheran, Milky Way, mocha creamer, mythology, Paul De Lancey, planting, quinoa, recipes, refrigerator, supermarket, tantrum, thriller, worshiping | 2 Comments

Your One-Stop Corridor

Posted on August 31, 2021 by pauldelancey

How many times has this happened to you? You’re at a student union and you want a place to pray quietly, but you’ve drunk too much coffee. You want a restroom close by. In fact, you want one right next door. Well this university’s student center is just the place for you.

Categories: observations | Tags: apocalyptic, coffee, Comic Chef, cookbook, Eat Me, good food, interfaith, Lutheran, murders, Paul De Lancey, recipes, restaurant, student center, student union, thriller, university | 2 Comments

Chicken With Coffee Sauce

Posted on May 9, 2021 by pauldelancey

Sao Tomean Entree

CHICKEN WITH COFFEE SAUCE

INGREDIENTS

2 chicken breasts, boneless and skinless
1 teaspoon salt
2 red chile peppers
4 garlic cloves
2 tablespoons butter
1 bay leaf
½ cup brewed coffee
1 cup white wine
9 coffee beans
¼ cup heavy cream

Serves 2. Takes 40 minutes.

PREPARATION

Cut chicken breasts into 1″ cubes. Rub salt onto chicken cubes. Seed and mince red chile peppers. Mine garlic cloves. Add butter to large pan. Melt butter using medium heat. Add chicken cubes. Cook for 12 minutes at medium heat or until the sides of the chicken cubes start to turn golden brown. Turn cubes enough so that they brown evenly.

Add red chile, garlic, and bay leaf to pan. Cook at medium heat for 2 minutes, stirring frequently. Remove chicken cubes and set aside. Add brewed coffee and white wine to pan Cook until sauce reduces by half. Stir frequently.

Add coffee beans and heavy cream to pan. Stir until well blended. Return chicken cubes to ban. Cook for 5 minutes, stirring constantly. Remove bay leaf. Goes well with rice.

TIDBITS

1) It costs a pretty penny for NASA to shoot one of its rockets into space. For those rockets–whether they carry amazing machines for carrying out zero-gravity experiments, taking astronauts to Mars, or people who named the murderer before you could watch that must-see mystery movie on a way trip to Pluto–use expensive rocket fuel Just like us, NASA too has a budget. Sure, its annual budget is tens of billions of dollars more than ours, but the concept is the same.

3) Heavier payloads on space missions require more fuel than lighter ones. So budget conscious NASA is always looking for ways to save weight. NASA particularly favors this entree because it combines a nutritious, satisfying meal while, at the same time, providing those hard-working astronauts with their caffeine fix. There’s no need to stow heavy coffee. No heavy coffee, less need for fuel. Less fuel, more things that can taken on the spaceship. More things aboard, more instruments. More instruments, more experiments. More experiments, more knowledge gained. Soon we will be living in a Golden Age. And we’ll all owe it to the entree from Sao Tome.

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: cuisine, international, travel | Tags: apocalyptic, budget, caffeine, chicken, coffee, coffee beans, coffeesauce, Comic Chef, cookbook, entree, good food, Lutheran, Mars, NASA, Paul De Lancey, Pluto, recipes, rockets, Sao Tome, thriller, white wine, zero gravity | 3 Comments

Why Editors Are Important – #1, Trump Awards . . .

Posted on April 21, 2021 by pauldelancey

Whoa, I wouldn’t expect to get much production out of a company that has been given $1.3. Suppose the CEO gets a coffee from the company cafeteria for $1.25. Subtract that from the award of $1.30 and you get a nickel. The company’s research and development department would burn through five cents in particularly no time at all. And then the project would necessarily shut down for lack of funds.

I know, I know, if you read further, the article does say $1.3 B, which makes the shock value of getting nothing in return somewhat greater that it would be for $1.30. Still, that’s what the headline said and it made me smile.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: apocalyptic, CEO, coffee, Comic Chef, cookbook, editors, good food, hunks, important, Lutheran, Paul De Lancey, recipes, research and development, thriller, Trump | 4 Comments

Posts Tagged With: coffee

Essential Spanish Phrases – Lesson 1

What I Did Today