Posts Tagged With: Pluto

Where and Why There is Life in the Solar System

Planet: Mercury

Does it have tacos? No.

Does it have life? No.

Weight of two hypothetical tacos:  0.38 pound

 

 

Planet: Venus

Does it have tacos? No. Looks like an overcooked egg yolk. That doesn’t count.

Does it have life: No.

Weight of two hypothetical tacos: 0.91 pound

 

 

 

 

 

 

Planet: Earth

Does it have tacos? Yes. Billions and billions

Does it have life? Yes. Billions and billions of people. Lots of other living thingies.

Weight of two tacos: 1.00 pound

 

 

 

 

 

Planet: Mars

Do it have tacos? No. It does have Mars Bars(tm), but those are not tacos.

Does it have life? No.

Weight of two hypothetical tacos: 0.38 pound

 

 

 

 

Planet: Jupiter

Does it have tacos? No.

Does it have life? No.

Weight of two hypothetical tacos: 2.36 pounds (This is gaseous planet. Your tacos would fall all the way to the planet’s center.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Planet: Saturn

Does it have tacos? No.

Does it have life? No.

Weight of two hypothetical tacos: 1.06 pounds (This is gaseous planet. Your tacos would fall all the way to the planet’s center.)

 

Planet: Uranus

Does it have tacos? No.

Does it have life?: No.

Was it once named George?: Yes

Weight of two hypothetical tacos:  .89 pound (This is gaseous planet. Your tacos would fall all the way to the planet’s center.)

 

 

Planet: Neptune

Does it have tacos? No.

Does it have life? No.

Weight of two hypothetical tacos: 1.13 pounds (This is gaseous planet. Your tacos would fall all the way to the planet’s center.)

 

 

 

 

Planet*: Pluto

Does it have tacos?: No.

Does it have life?: No.

Weight of two hypothetical tacos: 0.08 pound

Did this plucky celestial orbiter have its planetary status callously stripped in 2006 and only given reluctantly given back the wienie status of dwarf planet soon afterward because of widespread outcry?: Yes.

 

 

MAJOR CONCLUSIONS

1) Life only exists on planets with tacos.

2) Don’t drop your tacos on Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, or Neptune. They will continue to fall until they reach the planet’s center.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D., and astronomer

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: food, humor, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Chicken With Coffee Sauce

Sao Tomean Entree

CHICKEN WITH COFFEE SAUCE

INGREDIENTS

2 chicken breasts, boneless and skinless
1 teaspoon salt
2 red chile peppers
4 garlic cloves
2 tablespoons butter
1 bay leaf
½ cup brewed coffee
1 cup white wine
9 coffee beans
¼ cup heavy cream

Serves 2. Takes 40 minutes.

PREPARATION

Cut chicken breasts into 1″ cubes. Rub salt onto chicken cubes. Seed and mince red chile peppers. Mine garlic cloves. Add butter to large pan. Melt butter using medium heat. Add chicken cubes. Cook for 12 minutes at medium heat or until the sides of the chicken cubes start to turn golden brown. Turn cubes enough so that they brown evenly.

Add red chile, garlic, and bay leaf to pan. Cook at medium heat for 2 minutes, stirring frequently. Remove chicken cubes and set aside. Add brewed coffee and white wine to pan Cook until sauce reduces by half. Stir frequently.

Add coffee beans and heavy cream to pan. Stir until well blended. Return chicken cubes to ban. Cook for 5 minutes, stirring constantly. Remove bay leaf. Goes well with rice.

TIDBITS

1) It costs a pretty penny for NASA to shoot one of its rockets into space. For those rockets–whether they carry amazing machines for carrying out zero-gravity experiments, taking astronauts to Mars, or people who named the murderer before you could watch that must-see mystery movie on a way trip to Pluto–use expensive rocket fuel Just like us, NASA too has a budget. Sure, its annual budget is tens of billions of dollars more than ours, but the concept is the same.

3) Heavier payloads on space missions require more fuel than lighter ones. So budget conscious NASA is always looking for ways to save weight. NASA particularly favors this entree because it combines a nutritious, satisfying meal while, at the same time, providing those hard-working astronauts with their caffeine fix. There’s no need to stow heavy coffee. No heavy coffee, less need for fuel. Less fuel, more things that can taken on the spaceship. More things aboard, more instruments. More instruments, more experiments. More experiments, more knowledge gained. Soon we will be living in a Golden Age. And we’ll all owe it to the entree from Sao Tome.

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international, travel | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

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