I certainly hope so.
Wanda Wunder #20
Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Deep Thinker asks the question we’ve all been thinking.
Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Yep, flying to New York City is costly. Staying in a hotel in downtown Manhattan remains prohibitively expensive. You’ll need to take out a second mortgage just to scrape up the funds. And Manhattan hotels don’t let its guests park their cars for free. No, no, no. Your nest egg just got a wee bit smaller.
Try Poway, California!
It’s right here. I mean it’s just outside my window. Rooms here are reasonable. You can park everywhere for free. Woo hoo!
AND
You get the same backed-up traffic as Manhattan.
You might be asking how does Poway, a town 1/200th the size of New York, manage to get the Big Apple’s traffic. Simple.
1) Have really long red lights. Quite a lot of cars can accumulate during red lights that last four minutes.
2) Make people wait even longer than that for left turns.
3) Favor cars going a certain direction. In Poway the favored motorists are the ones going east-west. These directions have most of the businesses.
4) This means, of course, cars traveling north-south have significantly longer red lights. Quite a few cars going north-south accumulate at the intersection at this time. A favorite sports of these dammed-up drivers is counting the number of times they could have easily crossed during gaps occurring in east-west traffic. Yep, it’s fun letting a car that’s a half-mile away cross the intersection before you.
5) Try to turn left when you’re headed north-south. This will take you longer than the straight north-south crossing.
6) Try to turn left at an intersection that skips your left-turn signal repeatedly. Skips it seven or more times. These left-turn lanes would be a safe place to play table tennis. Get your exercise.
7) As an extra bonus. When a green light finally occurs, a tsunami of cars floods down the street, making it nearly impossible for the cars on cross streets to get through, particularly when all they have is a stop sign.
8) And any description of Powegian traffic would be woefully incomplete without mentioning the annual tearing up of its main arteries for repair or expansion of its underground pipes for new businesses. Why they don’t make an annual festival of their street tear ups is beyond me.
Poway, of course, has magnificent qualities, such as a low-crime rate, a first-class public schools, and many useful businesses. Just remember, you’ll have to drive your car to get to them.
Paul De Lancey, concerned citizen and Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Puerto Rican Entree
INGREDIENTS
1 garlic clove
1 medium onion
¼ cup ketchup
3 tablespoons lemon juice
¼ cup mayonnaise
2 teaspoons adobo seasoning
¼ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon salt
1¼ pounds sirloin steaks
1¼ pounds pork loins
2 chicken breasts
1 Roma tomato
¼ pound cabbage
4 French rolls
8 slices Swiss cheese
3 ounces crispy French fries (or follow instructions on French fry package)
Makes 4 big sandwiches. Serves 4 to 8. Takes 1 hour 45 minutes.
PREPARATION
Mince garlic clove and onion. Add garlic, onion, ketchup, lemon juice, mayonnaise, adobo seasoning, pepper, and salt to large mixing bowl. Mix with whisk or fork until well blended. Cut sirloin steaks, pork loins, and chicken breasts along their heights until you have 4 pieces of each. (Otherwise, you’ll might have a sandwich so tall, you won’t be able to eat it.) Add sirloin, pork, and chicken to mixing bowl. Toss with hands until meat is well coated. Cover and marinate in refrigerator for 1 hour. While meat marinates, cut tomato into 8 slices. Shred cabbage.
Set grill to medium setting. Remove meat from marinade and add to grill. Save marinade. Grill meat for 10 minutes or until done or done to your liking. Turn meat once. Toast roll halves on grill for 3 minutes or until they begin to brown.
Spread equal amounts of marinade on all French-roll halves. Add equal amounts of shredded cabbage, sirloin, pork, chicken, Swiss cheese, tomato, and crispy French fries to French-roll bottoms. Add French-roll tops. Cut sandwiches in half, if desired.
TIDBITS
1) This is a big meal. But we can’t stay in shape if we eat this sandwich and right after take a nap.
2) This sandwich is delicious. We can’t give it up for any reason. But we want to stay in shape.
3) Clearly, we need to exercise after eating this.
4) What exercise?
5) Cartwheels. Cartwheels? Egad. They’re hard. I’ll fall. I’ll hurt myself.
6) Ok then, how about lifting weights? Oh my gosh, no! I don’t have weights. I’ll have to go to the gym. The gym is far. It’s expensive. It’s crowd. It smells like a gym.
7) Ok then, how about running? Heck no! Running shoes are expensive. I’ll twist my ankles. I’ll get lost. I’ll get blisters. I’ll get completely tired and won’t be able to make it back home without calling an expensive taxi.
8) Ok then, how about walking? Boring. It’s too slow.
9) How about letting the Tripleta do the cartwheels? Yes, I like that. Let’s do that.
Chef Paul
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
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