Posts Tagged With: cinnamon

Goat Kebabs

Middle Eastern Entree

­

GOAT KEBABS

­
INGREDIENTS
­
2 garlic cloves
1 yellow or white onion
2 green onions
1 pound ground goat
½ teaspoon cinnamon
¼ teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon sumac powder
¼ teaspoon turmeric
1 tablespoon melted butter
­
SPECIAL UTENSILS
­
fine mesh colander
6 thin metal skewers
outdoor grill
no-stick grill spray
­
Serves 2. Takes 1 hour to prepare plus 4 hours to marinate.
­
PREPARATION
­
Mince garlic and yellow onion. Put minced garlic and yellow onion in fine-mesh colander. Press down until no juice drips through the mesh. Dice green onions. Add all ingredients except butter to mixing bowl. Mix with hands until thoroughly blended. Cover and marinate in refrigerator overnight or for at least 4 hours.
­
Divide marinated goat into 6 equal portions. Form goat portions into sausage shapes around skewers. (As you do so, dip yours hand into ice water. This makes the meat easier to work with and helps keep it on the skewers.) This are your goat kebabs.
­
Lightly spray grill with no-stick grill spray. Pre-heat to medium-high. Grill for 5 minutes or until they are firm enough to turn over. Turn kebabs and grill for 4 more minutes. Remove kebabs from grill and brush with butter. Goes well with rice, grilled vegetables, flatbread, and yogurt drink.
­
TIDBITS
­
1) Prison waiters once allowed visitors to bring Goat Kebabs. After all, who doesn’t crave this tasty dish? But soon, desperate escape attempts occurred as guests used the skewers to attack waiters. Skewer duels broke out as waiters fought back. The waiters barely prevailed.  And after the Great Kebab Riots, prisons banned Goat Kebabs. Waiters and guests were renamed guards and prisoners. Now you know.
­

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Champurrado

Mexican Appetizer

­

CHAMPURRADO

­
INGREDIENTS
­
2 cups water
1¼ cups masa harina* or ⅔ cup corn flour
6 cups water* or milk
1 cinnamon stick
2 cloves (optional)
5½ ounces piloncillo* or ½ brown sugar
6½ ounces Mexican chocolate tablets
­
* = The ingredients with an asterisk are authentic Mexican choices. They can be found in most supermarkets and authentic Mexican ones, or online. Water can be found everywhere. ☺
­
SPECIAL UTENSIL
­
electric blender
­
Makes 8 cups. Takes 30 minutes.
­
PREPARATION
­
Add 2 cups water and masa harina to electric blender. Set mixer on puree and mix until well blended Add 6 cups water, cinnamon stick, cloves, and piloncillo to pot. Bring to boil using high heat. Stir occasionally. Reduce heat to low. Simmer for 3 minutes at low heat or until piloncillo melts. Stir frequently.
­
Add chocolate tables. Stir until well blended. Add water/masa harina mix. Increase heat to medium high until mixture starts to boil. Stir frequently. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 10 minutes or until mixture thickens. Stir frequently. Remove cinnamon stick. Serve hot.
­
TIDBITS
­
1) Champurrado is a portmanteau, coming from the combined words of, champion, purring, and xtqnado. Champion and purring are English words. However, xtqnado is, of course, Incan. Xtqmado means “protection by chocolate.” Thus, champurrado means “protection given from the chocolate purring one.” We would call it a happy brown cat. And oh, you can check out the Official Incan dictionary from the Gainesville Public Library. You might have to reserve it.
­
2) Every year the Incas performed a ceremony to find the loudest purring brown cat. As long as the Incas anointed their sacred champurrado, no enemy nation could harm them. Then in 1532, the Inca’s divine protection deserted them when “Chocy,” their anointed cat, ran off to chase a sarcastic mouse. A month later, Pizarro conquered the Incan Empire for Spain. Coincidence? Perhaps.
­

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Cinnamon Shea Butter Soap

CINNAMON SHEA BUTTER SOAP

­
INGREDIENTS
­
½ teaspoon brown mica powder
1 tablespoon isopropyl alcohol
2 pounds shea butter base
2 teaspoons cinnamon
1 teaspoon cinnamon essential oil
isopropyl alcohol
­
SPECIAL UTENSIL
­
soap mold
spray bottle
soap slicer (optional)
­
Makes 10½ bars, 1″ wide. Takes 3 hours.
PREPARATION
­
Add brown mica and 1 tablespoon isopropyl alcohol to small mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended.
­
Cut shea butter base into 1″ cubes. Add shea butter base to large glass measuring cups. Melt base in 30 second intervals. Stir after every time. Add pale brown mica powder/isopropyl mix and cinnamon essential oil. Stir with knife until well blended. Let sit for 15 minutes. (This inhibits cinnamon from settling to the bottom of the soap mold.) Add cinnamon. Mix with knife until well blended.
­
Spray silicon mold with isopropyl alcohol. Pour melted soap into soap mold. If desired, lightly spray bubbles with isopropyl alcohol to make them disappear. Let soap sit for 3 hours. Use soap slicer to cut soap into slices 1″ wide.
­
Let sit for 3 hours. Use soap slicer to cut soap into bars 1″ wide.
­
TIDBITS
­
1) The New York Mets played baseball in Shea Stadium from 1964 to 2008. Most people agree that Shea Stadium was named after William A. Shea the man who led the effort to bring National League baseball back to New York.
­
2) Culinary historians disagree. They maintain the stadium got its name because it was built mainly from cinnamon. Indeed, culinary engineers tell us that cinnamon sticks when subjected to enough pressure will be stronger than steel. Unfortunately, the cost of producing super strong I beams and pillars out of cinnamon proved to be prohibitive. All future stadiums would employ steel for all sorts of things. Now you know.
­
­

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: soap | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Pumpkin Shea Butter Soap

PUMPKIN SHEA BUTTER SOAP

­
INGREDIENTS
­
½ pound pumpkin pulp* (no stringy bits)
1 teaspoon orange mica powder
2 teaspoons pumpkin** spice
2 tablespoons isopropyl alcohol
2 pounds shea butter soap base
1 teaspoon cinnamon leaf essential oil
isopropyl alcohol or butter to coat molding
isopropyl alcohol to spray away bubbles forming on soap
­
* = Use the pumpkin pulp from your Halloween pumpkin or possibly pick up a free Halloween pumpkin from your supermarket on November 1.
** = Or substitute with 1 teaspoon cinnamon, ¼ teaspoon ground cloves, ½ teaspoon ginger, and ¼ teaspoon nutmeg.
­
SPECIAL UTENSILS
­
food processor
soap mold
spray bottle
microwave
soap slicer (optional)
­
Makes 10½ bars, 1″ wide. Takes 3 hours 30 minutes.
­
PREPARATION
­
Puree pumpkin pulp in food processor and set aside. Add orange mica powder, pumpkin spice, and 2 tablespoons isopropyl alcohol to small mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended.
­
Cut shea butter base into 1″ cubes. Add shea butter base to large glass measuring cups. Melt base in microwave with timer set at 30 seconds. Stir after every time. Add orange mica powder/isopropyl mix and cinnamon leaf essential oil. Stir with knife until well blended. Let sit for 6 minutes. (This inhibits pumpkin bits from settling to the bottom of the soap mold.) Add pureed pumpkin. Mix with knife until well blended.
­
Spray silicon mold with isopropyl alcohol or rub with butter. Pour into soap mold. If desired, lightly spray bubbles with isopropyl alcohol to make them disappear. Let soap sit for 3 hours. Use soap slicer to cut soap into slices 1″ wide.
­
TIDBITS
­
1) Spoiler alert, this soap, Pumpkin Shea Butter Soap uses pumpkin.
­
2) So does pumpkin pie.
­
3) So do many recipes from Africa.
­
4) Pumpkins have other uses.
­
5) Like jack o’lanterns.
­
6) Like pumpkin bowling ball.
­
7) Culinary sport historians assert that pumpkin bowling started in the northern states of the Union in 1865.
­
8) Because every Northern soldier returning home after the end of the Civil War was given 50 pumpkins when mustered out of the army.
­
9) This meant northern towns and cities became inundated with pumpkins.
­
10) Pumpkins that would eventually rot. Ugh.
­­
11) There were only so many pumpkin pies and African entrees featuring pumpkins that people would eat.
­
12) So naturally, pumpkin lawn bowling leagues sprang up in any town greater than 6 people.
­­
13) Didn’t the pumpkin bowling balls break apart when they hit the bowling pins? Yes, they did. But remember, each returning soldier returned with 50 pumpkins.
­
14) Pumpkins still remained. Pumpkin Baseball flourished for two weeks in the summer of ‘65.
­­
15) Frank Butler and Bartolomeo Diaz of Madison, Wisconsin thought up the game of basket ball on June 15th, 1865.
­
16) Pumpkin basketball was such fun. The 39 seconds of the first game thrilled the local fans.
­
17) But it took only two shots to demolish the pair of pumpkins. Madison would not get anymore pumpkins until harvest time in the fall.
­
18) By which time, people plain forgot about Pumpkin Basket Ball, what with the long days devoted to harvesting and eating pumpkin pies.
­
19) This is why June 15th is only remembered as a day to pay taxes and not by the National Basketball Association.
­

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: history, soap | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Apple Cinnamon Cookies With Maple Icing

American Dessert

­

APPLE CINNAMON COOKIES WITH MAPLE ICING

­
INGREDIENTS – COOKIES
­
½ cup butter, softened
¾ cup brown sugar
1 egg
½ teaspoon vanilla extract
¾ teaspoon baking soda
1¼ teaspoons cinnamon
2 cups flour
½ teaspoon salt
1⅓ cups diced*, peeled apple (Your preference: Granny Smith = tart, Fuji = sweet)
­
* = 1 Granny Smith apple
­
INGREDIENTS – ICING
­
1 cup confectioners’ sugar
2 teaspoons milk
½ tablespoon maple syrup
­
SPECIAL UTENSILS
­
electric beater
2 baking sheets
­
Makes 30 cookies. Takes 40 minutes.
­
PREPARATION – COOKIES
­
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Add butter and brown sugar to large mixing bowl. Blend with electric beater set on medium until mixture becomes fluffy. Add egg and vanilla extract. Blend with electric beater set on medium until thoroughly blended.
­
Add baking soda, cinnamon, flour and salt to medium mixing bowl. Mix with whisk or fork until well blended. Gradually add this dry mix to large mixing bowl. Blend with electric beater set on medium until dough is thoroughly blended. Fold in diced apple.
­
Roll dough into little balls about 1″ wide. Leave a 1″ gap between dough balls. Bake at 350 degrees for 12 minutes or until golden brown. (Baking times for any successive batches may vary.) Let cookies cool for 2 minutes before transferring with a spatula to wire rack or cold plate. Let cookies sit until completely cool.
­
PREPARATION – ICING
­
While cookies bake, add confectioners’ sugar, maple syrup, and milk to small mixing bowl. Mix with fork until thoroughly blended. Use knife to gently spread icing over cookies.
­
TIDBITS
­
1) It is worth restating from time to time that not all cookies are particularly fleet of foot.
­
2) Please notice that the last two letters of “of” are “of.” It’s true. You can tell just by looking.
­
3) The first two letters of “foot” are “fo.”
­
4) Culinary linguists call whenever the first two letters of the second word are the reverse of the last two letters of the previous word an “offo.”
­
5) Use this fact to amaze you fellow partiers. It’s also a sure-fire pick-up line.
­
6) Friend: How did you get Miss America 2009 to come home with you?
You: I used the “offo” fact.
­
7) See, proof you cannot deny.
­
8) Anyway, not all cookies can move on their own.
­
9) True, all cookies next to fault line, such as the San Andreas, clearly move in one direction or another. However, culinary seismologists don’t count as cookian–adjective for cookies–self propulsion.
­
10) However, some cookies do move rather quickly.
­
11) In fact, culinary sports announcers, will tell you after they’ve had a few, that Apple Cinnamon Cookies With Maple Glazing can move rather fast. Indeed, these apple cookies set the record for the 1500 meters with a speed of 2 minutes 2 seconds.
­
12) Unfortunately, poor-sports human had Apple Cinnamon Cookies With Maple Glazing from Olympic individual foot races, giving the spurious excuse that Maple Glazing is a banned substance.
­
13) However, the humans felt no need to ban Apple Cinnamon Cookies With Maple Glazing from relay racing.
­
14) So, these cookies hold their own marathons. They celebrate diversity with all types of cookies encouraged to enter. Poway, California holds one every April 1st. Book you hotel rooms early.
­
15) Be sure to look for the Apple Cinnamon Cookies with their Maple Glazing uniforms.
­
16) Please refrain from eating cookies in front of the contestants. It rather hurts their feelings.
­

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Sumac Chicken (Musakhan) From Palestine

Palestinian Entree

SUMAC CHICKEN
(Musakhan)

INGREDIENTS

¾ teaspoon cardamom
¼ teaspoon cinnamon
½ teaspoon nutmeg
¾ teaspoon pepper
¾ teaspoon salt
3 tablespoons sumac
1½ tablespoons lemon juice
3 pounds chicken breasts
4 medium red or yellow onions
2 tablespoons olive oil (2 more tablespoons later)
2 tablespoons olive oil
⅓ cup chicken stock
no-stick spray
12 ounces flatbread (taboun, lavash, or pita)
¼ cup slivered almonds

SPECIAL UTENSIL

9″ x 13″ casserole dish

Serves 6. Takes 2 hours 20 minutes.

PREPARATION

Add cardamom, cinnamon, nutmeg, pepper, salt, and sumac to mixing bowl. Combine with fork. Add lemon juice. Mix with fork until well blended. Add chicken breasts. Mix with hands until chicken is well coated. Cover and marinate in refrigerator for 2 hours.

While chicken marinates, dice onions. Add onion and 2 tablespoons olive oil to pan. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Remove and reserve onion. Add 2 tablespoons olive oil and marinated chicken to pan. Sauté at medium heat for 5 minutes or until chicken breasts brown. Flip chicken breasts once. Add chicken stock and blend with spoon. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Reduce heat to low-medium and simmer for 15 minutes. Stir occasionally. Remove from heat.

Spray casserole dish with no-stick spray. Add flatbreads to casserole dish so that they overlap. Spoon the sautéed onion evenly over flatbread. Place chicken breasts on top of onion. Ladle pan juices over chicken. Bake at 350 degrees for 15 minutes. Sprinkle slivered almonds over chicken. Bake at 350 degrees for another 5 minutes or until chicken is done and flatbread turns golden brown.

TIDBITS

1) Sumac Chicken backwards in Nekcihc Camus.

2) Amy Camus backwards is Yma Sumac.

3) Yma Sumac has a star on Hollywood Boulevard.

4) I’ve seen her star.

5) You might think that she herself put her star in the sidewalk of Hollywood Boulevard and through mystical powers led me to it. Years later, I wrote up this event in this blog and in a recipe in a cookbook. Now, you’ve read this.

6) Then a time machine showed up at my door. Ms. Sumac had set it to do this.

7) I got in. The time machine went back to the time when I saw her star on the Boulevard.

8) This sort of thing happens all the time.

9) It’s almost a cliche.

10) But wait! There’s more.

11) After I hopped out of the time machine, it went back to the 1950s when she showed this enthusiastic blog to band leaders.

12) Suitably impressed, she gained one singing gig after another, specializing in exotica music.

13) Heads of recording studios saw her and heard her as well. Whiz, bam, bing, she put out one fantastic album after another.

14) She had made it big.

15) Big enough to rate a star on Hollywood.

16) It just goes to show you what a little pluck and a time machine can do.

17) Of course, it didn’t hurt that she had a range over four octaves

18) In 1946, the Peruvian government formally recognized her claim to be descended

Palestinian Entree

SUMAC CHICKEN√
(Musakhan)

INGREDIENTS

¾ teaspoon cardamom
¼ teaspoon cinnamon
½ teaspoon nutmeg
¾ teaspoon pepper
¾ teaspoon salt
3 tablespoons sumac
1½ tablespoons lemon juice
3 pounds chicken breasts
4 medium red or yellow onions
2 tablespoons olive oil (2 more tablespoons later)
2 tablespoons olive oil
⅓ cup chicken stock
no-stick spray
12 ounces flatbread (taboun, lavash, or pita)
¼ cup slivered almonds

SPECIAL UTENSIL

9″ x 13″ casserole dish

Serves 6. Takes 2 hours 20 minutes.

PREPARATION

Add cardamom, cinnamon, nutmeg, pepper, salt, and sumac to mixing bowl. Combine with fork. Add lemon juice. Mix with fork until well blended. Add chicken breasts. Mix with hands until chicken is well coated. Cover and marinate in refrigerator for 2 hours.

While chicken marinates, dice onions. Add onion and 2 tablespoons olive oil to pan. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Remove and reserve onion. Add 2 tablespoons olive oil and marinated chicken to pan. Sauté at medium heat for 5 minutes or until chicken breasts brown. Flip chicken breasts once. Add chicken stock and blend with spoon. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Reduce heat to low-medium and simmer for 15 minutes. Stir occasionally. Remove from heat.

Spray casserole dish with no-stick spray. Add flatbreads to casserole dish so that they overlap. Spoon the sautéed onion evenly over flatbread. Place chicken breasts on top of onion. Ladle pan juices over chicken. Bake at 350 degrees for 15 minutes. Sprinkle slivered almonds over chicken. Bake at 350 degrees for another 5 minutes or until chicken is done and flatbread turns golden brown.

TIDBITS

1) Sumac Chicken backwards in Nekcihc Camus.

2) Amy Camus backwards is Yma Sumac.

3) Yma Sumac has a star on Hollywood.Boulevard.

4) I’ve seen her star.

5) You might think that she herself put her star in the sidewalk of Hollywood Boulevard and through mystical powers led me to it. Years later, I wrote up this event in this blog and in a recipe in a cookbook. Now, you’ve read this.

6) Then a time machine showed up at my door. Ms. Sumac had set it to do this.

7) I got in. The time machine went back to the time when I saw her star on the Boulevard.

8) This sort of thing happens all the time.

9) It’s almost a cliche.

10) But wait! There’s more.

11) After I hopped out of the time machine, it went back to the 1950s when she showed this enthusiastic blog to band leaders.

12) Suitably impressed, she gained one singing gig after another, specializing in exotica music.

13) Heads of recording studios saw her and heard her as well. Whiz, bam, bing, she put out one fantastic album after another.

14) She had made it big.

15) Big enough to rate a star on Hollywood.

16) It just goes to show you what a little pluck and a time machine can do.

17) Of course, it didn’t hurt that she had a range over four octaves

18) In 1946, the Peruvian government formally recognized her claim to be descended Athualpa, the last Incan Emperor. You might think that her heritage propelled into stardom, But you’d be wrong; the influence yielded by the once mighty Incans had been negligible for over 400 years..

19) No, she had made it big from her drive, her voice, my blog, and a time machine. Proof you cannot deny.

20) Yma died in 2008, at the end of her life.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Egyptian Roz Bel Laban

Egyptian Dessert

ROZ BEL LABAN

INGREDIENTS

1 cup rice
2¼ cups water
3½ cups whole milk
¾ cup sugar
¼ teaspoon allspice
½ teaspoon orange blossom water or vanilla
½ teaspoon rose water, orange blossom water, or vanilla
½ teaspoon cinnamon

Serves 6. Takes 1 hours 45 minutes.

PREPARATION

Add rice and water to pot, Set heat to low-medium and simmer for 12 minutes. Stir frequently to prevent burning. (Always, in this recipe, add water or milk if the liquid in the pot dries up.)

While rice simmers, add milk and sugar to mixing bowl. Mix with whisk or fork until well blended. Add to pot. Simmer at medium heat for 12 minutes or until mixture starts to thicken. Stir constantly. Add allspice, orange blossom water, and rose water. Simmer at medium heat. Stir constantly until mixture has thickened and rices softens and becomes creamy. Gently spoon rice mixture into individual serving bowls. Chill in refrigerator for 1 hour or until pudding sets. Sprinkle cinnamon over each bowl.

TIDBITS

1) Roz Augureau’s sparkling eyes and beautiful face bedazzled men everywhere. So much so that men made rash decisions. In 1914, Kaiser Wilhelm II and President Poincare attended a society ball at the same time as Roz. The German and French leaders both professed undying love for her. Neither ruler would clear the field for the belle Roz. Words were said. Poincare slapped Wilhelm. The Kaiser had the choice of weapons. If only he had picked pistols, instead of millions of soldiers as the duelllng weapons, the world would have been spared the horrors of the First World War.

2) But he didn’t and anyway, hindsight is 20/20. However, the French could forgive Roz Augureau for starting the War to End All Wars. Afier all, “L’amour, toujours l’amour.” They could not ignore, however, her effect on French cuisine. Every time the Belle Roz sashayed by restaurants, the besotted chefs made mistakes. It all came to a head in 1915 when the very sight of Roz so charmed the chef making this very dish, that he unwittingly substituted sardine water for vanilla. This atrocity outraged the French nation. What, if anything, was France fighting for if not for the purity of its cuisine? So, France passed a law banning the belle Roz from walking by any kitchen. In honor of this law, Le Monde called this dish, “Roz Belle La Ban.” Later this became, Roz Bel Laban.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Quinoa Api

Bolivian Breakfast

QUINOA API

INGREDIENTS

1¼ cups quinoa
2¾ cups milk
2⅔ cups water
1 cinnamon stick
1 tablespoon honey
2½ tablespoons sugar
¼ teaspoon vanilla extract

SPECIAL UTENSIL

fine-mesh colander

Serves 4. Takes 45 minutes.

PREPARATION

Rinse quinoa in colander. Add quinoa and 2⅔ cups water to pot. Bring to boil using medium heat. Stir enough to keep quinoa from burning. Add milk. Bring to boil using medium heat. Stir constantly Reduce heat to low. Add cinnamon stick, honey, sugar, and vanilla extract. Simmer for 35 minutes or until mixture thickens and quinoa cracks open. Stir enough to keep milk and quinoa from burning. Remove cinnamon stick. Serves in bowls.

TIDBITS

1) According to Colombian culinary mythology, quinoa was given us 7,123.26 years ago by the condor god, Yclept.. Yclept also gave them the secret of planting and harvesting, thus freeing the Andean people from hunter gathering. Hunter gathering is much the same thing as driving around from one supermarket to another looking for mocha creamer for your coffee.

2) But with Ycelpt’s help, the Andeans always had quinoa, a great source of nutrition, right at home. This is like winning a refrigerator at a raffle. But there’s more. You open the fridge to see dozens of coffee mocha creamer bottles inside. You are freed, freed I tell you, from searching dispiritedly all over town for coffee mocha creamers.

3) So in gratitude, the Andeans switched from worshiping, Qi the god of hunter gathering to Yclept. Since quinoa looks like the stars, the Andeans worshiped them. This ticked off Qi, who tried to blot out the stars with milk. “Na, na, na, poo, poo,” said Yclept. “You didn’t throw enough milk. You only tossed enough to make the Milky Way.”

4) Yclept was right. We can still see the stars. Whew! We can still spot the Milky way. But we humans eventually got an immensely popular candy bar out of it. The Milky Way gave the Andeans the idea for this Quinoa Api. It just shows you how good things can come out of a god’s tantrum.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Xawaash Spice Mix

Somali Appetizer

XAWAASH SPICE MIX

INGREDIENTS

1½ inches cinnamon stick
3 cardamom pods
1 teaspoon cloves
4½ tablespoons coriander seeds
4½ tablespoons cumin seeds
1½ tablespoons peppercorns
3½ teaspoons turmeric

Makes ¾ cup. Takes 25 minutes

PREPARATION

Put cinnamon stick in plastic bag. Hit cinnamon with something hard. Put cinnamon pieces, cardamom pods, cloves, coriander seeds, cumin seeds in pan. Toast at medium heat for 3 minutes or until these ingredients become aromatic. Do not burn. Remove from heat and let cool to room temperature.

Add toasted ingredients to spice grinder. Grind until you get a completely fine powder.. Add powder and turmeric to small mixing bowl. Mix with whisk or fork until well blended. Store in airtight jar. Should keep for 4 months.

TIDBITS

1) In the 11th century an architect named Diotisalvi made plans for a tower in Pisa. Workers built his tower lying flat on the ground. It simply remained to put the tower upright. But Diotisalvi went home for lunch, suffered an attack of amnesia, and never came back. So the workers tried raising the tower with a catapult, a trebuchet, with their arms, and blowing underneath it. Nothing worked. Then they hooked up 1,000 horses with ropes and lifted the tower up. Hooray! But oh no, the workers let the horses go too far forward. The tower listed at a four-degree angle!

3) “It’s mighty hard to see if a tower hundreds of feet tall is at a 90-degree angle,” said the foreman. A surprisingly erudite peasant said, “He needed to compare the angle of the real tower with that of a miniature, 90-degree wax tower. It’s easy to see if a small wax tower is at 90-degrees.” After that, architects would check to see if he “has a wax tower.” This shortened to “has a wax.”

3) Pisan anagramists celebrated this discovery by naming the new Arabian spice, Xawaash. Now you know.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Applesauce

American Appetizer

APPLESAUCE

INGREDIENTS

8 apples
2 teaspoons lemon juice
1¼ cups water
1 teaspoon cinnamon
¼ teaspoon ground cloves
⅓ cup white or brown sugar

SPECIAL UTENSILS

food processor
2 mason or other airtight jars. (Enough for 4-to-6 cups.)

Makes 4-to-6 cups depending on the size of the apples.. Takes 45 minutes.

PREPARATION

Core and peel apples. Cut each apple into 8 wedges. Put apple wedges, lemon juice, and water into large pot. Bring to boil using high heat. Reduce heat to low. Simmer for 20 minutes or until apple wedges soften and start to fall apart. Add cinnamon, ground cloves, and sugar. Stir with spoon until sugar melts completely.

Add contents of pot to food processor. Blend until you obtain you get applesauce with the consistency that you desire.

TIDBITS

1) You can see a swirl in the applesauce shown in the picture above. Doesn’t it look like a whirlpool? Can you imagine what applesauce would look like if it filled a bowl five miles wide? Poe knows.

2) For In 1841 an explosion rocked Thorvald Applesauce Factory. An avalanche of applesauce streaked down the hill in the nearby Maelström whirpool. The force of the raging applesauce combined with the centrifugal of the Maelström to combine the mother of all eddies, an out of control whirlpool that sucked all ships that came too close.

3) On of those ships was the SS Bunion. The Bunion shattered as it careened off the water walls of the eye of the massive vortex. Many died in the Maelström. Passenger Edgar Allan Poe did not. He survived by clutching to a wooden beam. Poe described his ordeal in his famous story, “Descent into the Maelström.” Poe did omit any mention of the applesauce tsunami, holding that nobody would believe it. However, the Norwegians believed and founded the prestigious Eplesaus Katastrofe Institutt to develop measures to forestall the enormous destructive power of unleashed applesauce.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Blog at WordPress.com.