I might just run for president in 2024. The American electorate has the right to know if the presidential candidate for the Bacon & Chocolate Party has the experience to run this great nation.
MY PRESIDENTIAL EXPERIENCE
Class President, 5th grade, Santa Anita Elementary School, Arcadia, California, 1967 – 1968
Ran for President of the United States – 2012
Ran for President of the United States – 2016 (This one really rankles. I was not certified as the winner despite carrying all but 50 states and D.C..
Ran for President of Venezuela in 2014.
Familiarity with Congress. I took a guided tour in 1980.
Finance. I’m not in debt. America has never had a recession while I’ve been president.
I’ve been to all 50 states.
Foreign Affairs. I’ve been to Asia, Europe, Australia, and the Caribbean without causing a single diplomatic incident. No, not one.
I can make mincemeat pies
There, I do have experience.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D., Commander in Chief
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.