Posts Tagged With: American

Kansiye From Guinea

Guinean Entree

KANSIYE

INGREDIENTS

¼ pound butternut squash or sweet potato
1¼ pounds beef (round, chuck, or sirloin) or lamb
2 garlic cloves
1 onion
2 tomatoes
2½ tablespoons vegetable oil
¼ teaspoons cloves
⅛ teaspoon pepper
¼ teaspoon salt
⅔ cup rice
2 cups beef stock or lamb stock (Should match the meat used)
¼ cup creamy peanut butter.
¼ teaspoon thyme
1 tablespoon parsley, fresh

Serves 4. Takes 1 hours 10 minutes.

PREPARATION

Peel squash. Cut squash and beef into 1″ cubes. Mince garlic cloves, onion, and tomatoes. Add beef cubes and oil to large pan. Sauté beef for 5 minutes at medium-high heat or until completely browned. Stir enough to ensure even browning. Add cloves, garlic, onion, pepper, and salt. Reduce heat to medium. Cook for 3 minutes. Stir frequently.

Cook rice according to instructions on package. Add beef stock, butternut squash, tomato, creamy peanut butter, and thyme. Stir until well blended. Simmer at medium heat for 15 minutes. Reduce heat to low-medium. Simmer for 15 minutes or until squash cubes become tender. Stir enough to keep from burning Add rice to serving bowls. Ladle contents of pan over rice. Dice parsley. Sprinkle bowls with parsley.

TIDBITS

1) Pin the Tail on the Donkey has been a favorite party game for nursery schoolers and kindergartners for decades. Many people think the game originated in America, pointing to Edgar Allan Poe’s thrilling and eerie short story, “Pin the Tale on the Donkey.”

2) No, I say no. Pin the Tail arose in Guinea. Young kids would attempt to pin fresh parsley on the butternut squash cubes in a a bowl of Kansiye. Guinean boys and girls loved the game. Guinean mothers did not. They’d spend hours cleaning up splashed kansiye everywhere. Poe, in one of his travels to Africa, saw kids playing Pin the Parsley on the Butternut Cubes in a Bowl of Kansiye and had an idea. This idea would launch his literary career.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Why Watch Football When You Can See Football Football?

Sports have gotten boring. Even football. Sure there are great bursts of excitement. I mean, what can rival a 95-yard pass in getting your heart pumping? But this thrill lasts for a few seconds. Half-minute huddles precede each and every play. Watching paint dry is more exciting. And then there are the team time outs. And then there are theTV timeouts. I tell ya, evenwatching plate tectonics at work provides a stronger adrenaline rush.

At present, there’s only two teams on the field at any one time. What’s up with that? Only one team to root for. Only one time to boo.

What is the solution to this dreary state of affairs?

Simple.

But four teams on the field. As before, Team A wins by outscoring Team B. But now Team C plays against Team D.

Huzzah!

With four teams competing, there’s bound to be a play going in at any one time.

Note that the teams lining up for a play are not obligated in any way to get out of the way of the play in progress. Sure they can, but only if they want to.

This brings up instant strategy considerations. Suppose you’re on defense for Team A. A wide receiver for Team D catches the ball and eludes all of Team C’s defenders. Do you let the wide receiver go by you and score? After all his touchdown won’t affect your game. Suppose your team needs Team D to lose to get into the playoffs. In this case, you tackle the receiver.

Wow! Total excitement! Exclamation points galore! Talk about cardiovasular excercise. Will a defender tackle that player with the ball or won’t he?

The thrills work just as well on offense. You’re a tight end for Team A trying to catch a poorly thrown ball by your quarterback. But wait! C’s QB has thrown a pass that is nearer to you. You catch that one and run all the way to the end zone. Bad for C’s receiver, but maybe he can haul in your QB’s toss. It’s easy to construct a scenario where Team A will find it easier to pass to Team C’s receiver. Or vice versa. If you’re on defense whom do you defend against, Team A or Team C?

I tell ya, it’s like combining the intellectual challenge of chess with the non-stop action of a marathon, while still keeping football’s bone crushing hits of football.

And can you imagine the bee-hive activity on the field when someone fumbles? All four teams will be going for the ball. What if the other two teams are in the middle of a play as well? If this isn’t Excitement City, then nothing is.

We need Football Football. Once watched, you’ll never go back. Join me in making this happen. Then tell me what you like about Football Football.

Below is a picture of a Football Football game. Doesn’t your heart thump a bit faster just looking at it?

Football Football

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Masks Also Prevent Colds

I’m stopping the spread of colds.

At the start of the Covid pandemic, many of us wore masks. I certainly did. I am getting up there in years and I have a weak immune system. So, I think I would be a goner if I caught Covid. So I wore a mask whenever I went out.

And then something wonderful happened. The mask stopped me from getting colds. With my weak immune system, I had never gone that long without coming down with the flu. I had never even made through a year without getting sick. Sometimes I would get a cold four, or so, times a year. And my colds often last two-to-three weeks.

Recently though, I had to spend time with people who were sick who don’t any precautions whatsover. I came down with a nasty cold. I once spent three hours coughing continuously. Not once every ten minutes, continuously. No, I coughed every five seconds, ten seconds if lucky. I remember thinking is this going to be the Big Cough?

Fortunately, it wasn’t. But now, I am going to wear a mask indoors if someone else is coughing or if I am coughing. No matter what anyone says.

That’s all for now. This blog will go back to food blogs and funny blogs tomorrow.

Thank you for your understanding.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Slow Cooker Dr. Pepper Ham

American Entree

SLOW COOKER DR. PEPPER HAM

INGREDIENTS

1 12-ounce can Dr. PepperTM
3 tablespoons brown mustard
¾ cup brown sugar
5 pounds boneless or 5½ pounds bone-in ham

SPECIAL UTENSIL

slow cooker

Serves 8. Takes 4 hours 45 minutes.

PREPARATION

Add Dr. Pepper, brown mustard, brown sugar, and brown mustard to mixing bowl. Mix with whisk or fork until well blended. Add ham. Turn ham until well coated. Poke holes in ham with toothpick or skewer. Add ham to slow cooker. Ladle Dr. Pepper mixture over ham. Cook on high for 2 hours 15 minutes. Turn ham over. Cook on high for another 2 hours 15 minutes. Slice ham while hot.

That’s it! That’s the length of the ingredients’ list. That’s the length of the preparation; just one paragraph, I love cooking. I find it therapeutic and satisfying. So, I sometimes love complicated and time-consuming dishes. But every one in a while, it’s such fun to make something simple.

TIDBITS

1) Ham is red. Dr. Pepper is reddish.

2) Mars is red.

3) Mars is a gigantic Dr. Pepper ham.

4) It was made in a huge slow cooker.

5) Mars has almost no atmosphere. Our Earth has quite a good atmosphere. We’re very proud of it.

6) So, it stands to reason air-breathing Martians came to our planet quite a long time ago.

7) How do we know this? We Earthlings eats lots of ham, just like the Martians. Also, we love MarsTM bars. QED.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Crabmeat Stuffed Avocados

Chilean Entree

CRABMEAT STUFFED AVOCADOS

INGREDIENTS

2 large avocados
6 ounces crabmeat
2 tablespoons minced bell pepper
2 tablespoons minced celery
2 teaspoons lemon juice
¼ cup mayonnaise
⅛ teaspoon pepper
¼ teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon minced shallot or onion
4 leaves lettuce
6 olives

Serves 4. Takes 35 minutes.

PREPARATION

Peel avocados and cut them in half lengthwise. Remove pits. Add crabmeat, bell pepper, celery, lemon juice, mayonnaise, pepper, salt, and shallot to mixing bowl. Mix with fork until crab mix is well blended. Shred lettuce.

Arrange lettuce evenly over 4 plates. Fill avocado hollows with crab mix. Top avocado halves with neat little mounds of remaining crab mix. Cut olives in half. Garnish each avocado half with 3 olive haves. Place filled-and-topped avocado halves on shredded lettuce.

TIDBITS

1) The early peoples of Central America subsisted on avocados. The tribes living along the Pacific coast of South America lived on potatoes. Naturally, no one likes to eat only potatoes or even just avocados. So, soon a lively avocado-potato trade developed. Then culinary ingenuity propelled these peoples into a golden age with the harnessing of corn into tortillas. Before long a brilliant mind, Chef Ozomatli, constructed the first potato taquito with guacamole sauce.

2) This golden age didn’t last. Robbers ambushed the potato and avocado traders. To meet this threat, the great Aztec empire arose around Mexico. Its armies threw volley after volley of avocado pits at the heads of the robber gangs until the thieves broke and fled. The Incan warrior, however, was invulnerable in his suit of potatoes. These innovations were enough to maintain the great empires until the arrival of the musket carrying, metal-armor wearing Conquistadors.

3) In desperation, local chieftains attempted to attack the Spanish fleets by making canoes out of gigantic avocados. Unfortunately, crabs ate these vessels as soon as they put out to sea. Resistance collapsed. Spain would rule this corner of the world for 300 years. This dish commemorates the destruction of the avocado fleets by the crabs. So some good came out of all this turmoil.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Vanilla Pudding

American Dessert

VANILLA PUDDING

INGREDIENTS

3½ tablespoons cornstarch
⅛ teaspoon salt
½ cup sugar
2½ cups milk
1 tablespoon butter, softened
½ tablespoon vanilla extract

Serves 4. Takes 1 hour 45 minutes.

PREPARATION

Add cornstarch, salt, and sugar to saucepan. Mix with spatula. Add milk slowly, while stirring gently with spatula. Heat for 5 minutes using medium heat or until mixture thickens. Stir constantly to prevent burning. Remove from heat. Add butter and vanilla. Stir gently with spatula until well blended.

Chill in refrigerator for 1 hour 30 minutes or until mixture firms into pudding.

TIDBITS

1) Stars are made from vanilla pudding. How do we know this?

2) Stars are white.

3) Vanilla pudding is white.

4) The Sun is hot. That is because it’s yellow and not made from vanilla pudding.

5) If you were somehow able to catapult your vanilla pudding millions of light years away it would be far too small to be seen, even by the Hubble telescope

6) Indeed, you would need to buy trillions of pounds of: cornstarch, salt, sugar, milk, butter, and vanilla extract to fling a visibile vanilla-pudding star into the far reaches of space.

7) But don’t do it. Every van in the world would be needed to deliver your ingredients. The global economy would collapse. Oh my gosh, we’d have nothing left to make cake! For millions of years! What would we do for birthdays? I beg of you, reconsider this giant-star project!

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Georgian Lobio (Bean Stew)

Georgian Entree

LOBIO
(Bean Stew)

INGREDIENTS

1 pound dried red kidney beans*
6 cups water
8 cups water
2 bay leaves
½ teaspoon salt
3 garlic cloves
1 medium onion
⅓ cup fresh cilantro
½ cup walnut halves
2 tablespoons olive oil
½ tablespoon ground fenugreek**
1½ tablespoons pomegranate molasses or juice
¾ teaspoon pepper

* = Red kidney beans MUST be properly boiled. Eating kidney beans that haven’t been boiled for 10 minutes can make you quite sick. They’re quite safe and tasty once sufficiently boiled them. Discard the water used to soak the beans.
** = To be authentic, this recipe should use blue fenugreek. It’s widely available in its native country and extremely difficult to find elsewhere. Please let me know if you discover a source. Thank you.

SPECIAL UTENSILS

spice grinder
potato masher

Serves 4. Takes 2 hours 20 minutes 24 hours to soak beans.

PREPARATION

Add red kidney beans and 6 cups water to large pot. Let sit for 24 hours.

Drain beans. Add 8 cups water, beans, bay leaves, and salt to large pot. Bring water to boil using high heat. Boil for 12 minutes. Stir enough to keep beans from burning. Reduce heat to low-medium and simmer for 1 hour 40 minutes or until beans become tender. (They really must tender.) Check pot every 10 minutes and add 1 cup water, if needed, to keep at least 1½ cups of liquid in the pot. Stir enough to keep beans from burning. Drain water, saving 1½ cups liquid for later use.

While beans cook, dice garlic, and onion. Mince cilantro. Grind walnut halves in spice grinder until you get walnut powder. Add garlic, onion, and olive oil to pan. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until garlic and onion soften. Stir frequently. Add fenugreek, cilantro, and walnut powder. Reduce heat to medium and cook for 1 minute or until mixture becomes fragrant.

Add beans and reserved 1½ cups liquid to large pot. Mash beans with potato masher until only ¼th of the beans remain whole. Stir with spoon until thoroughly blended and the beans and water achieve the consistency of a thick stew.

Add garlic/onion/walnut mixture, pomegranate molasses, and pepper to beans in large pot. Mix with spoon until well blended. Cook at medium heat for 5 minutes. Stir occasionally. Remove bay leaves and serve hot.

TIDBITS

1) Desperadoes, bandits, and gunslingers terrorized the Old West.

2) Everyone’s heard of Billy the Kid, Jesse James, and the Dalton Gang.

3) But no one knows anything the greatest outlaw of them all. Giorgi Beridze.

4) Beridze terrorized the Great Western Ailroad, GWA, from 1869 to 1875.

5) It should have been called the Great Western Railroad, But the typesetter made a mistake when publicizing the railroad’s inaugural run. Thereafter, passengers called it Typo Road. Many, however, figured Ailroad to be a startling bit of honesty from GWA’s president.

6) Anyway, Mr. Beridze who has been waiting patiently since Tidbit 1 to have his exploits related to recipe-reading world, so disrupted Great Western’s schedules that the company thought it was about to go under.

7) Then on May 10, 1875, Beridze’s Gang’s raided one last time. The outlaws swarmed the train as it huffed its way to the top of Willow Summit, Texas. They expertly and efficiently rounded up all the train’s employees. The bad men forced the conductor to open the doors to the baggage car.

8) In swarmed Hercules Smith. This desperado grunted as he hurled one heavy sack after another to men waiting on the ground. Down to the hard ground fell the bandits below. Sure they caught the sacks, but the savvy railroad had filled the bags with anvils. Irate passengers quickly overwhelmed the lone anvil tosser. A scant hour late, lawmen easily rounded up the concussed Beridze and gang. Judge Noah Moore sentenced Beridze to hang.

9) His jailers asked Beridze what he wanted for his last meal. He requested this dish, Lobio. His jailers road off to find the ingredients: red kidney beans, water, bay leaves, salt, garlic cloves, cilantro, walnuts, olive oil, blue fenugreek, pomegranate molasses, and pepper. A number of those fixings proved impossible to find in 1875 Texas. They had to travel to Beridze’s home country, Georgia. Beridze’s buddies busted him out two months before the jailers returned.

10) Beridze, now anvil shy, fled the country. Embarrassed GWA officials decided the best thing to do was to hush up the whole affair. That’s why we never hear about the daring Beridze.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Quick Barbecue Sauce

American Appetizer

QUICK BARBECUE SAUCE

INGREDIENTS

½ cup brown sugar
½ tablespoon Dijon mustard
1 cup ketchup
1¼ teaspoons paprika
½ teaspoon pepper
¼ cup red wine vinegar or white wine vinegar
½ teaspoon salt
3 tablespoons water
½ tablespoon Worcestershire sauce

Makes 1½ cups. Takes 10 minutes.

PREPARATION

Add all ingredients to mixing bowl. Mix with whisk until well blended. Put any unused sauce in Mason jar. Store in refrigerator.

TIDBITS

1) King Arthur reigned in Camelot. He had a circle of knights that kept the peace and enforced his decrees. But his knights showed themselves time and time again to be extremely jealous of their prestige and social ranking compared to the others.

2) This constant jockeying for power came out in the open at mealtimes as the head of the table conferred the most prestige on the knight who sat there. This place went to the king whenever he was around. Similarly, the next two most powerful knights sat on opposite sides of the table and one chair away from the head knight. And so on. Everyone could easily calculate his importance at the court just by counting chairs.

3) Naturally, all knights felt they deserved a chair closer to the king. Differences arose. Elbows were thrown. Insults such as “Yea verily, your mater” got bruited about. Knights drew swords. Blood got shed. King Arthur realized he’d have no knights left unless something happened. And happen it did. One fine May day, Arthur and his knights gathered on the castle green for Smoked Pork Ribs. The knights all sprawled around a giant cauldron of Quick Barbecue sauce. The cauldron’s roundness meant no jockeying for the most prestigious spots; there weren’t any. The reason for conflict disappeared.

4) King Arthur saw this and decreed a Round Table for his court’s meals. The knights celebrated feasts there in perfect harmony. A just and lasting peace descended on Camelot. Then Sir Kay noticed that you could determine your value to King Arthur simply counting the number of chairs you were away from him. Civil War broke out. The Kingdom of Camelot fell apart. This is why our leaders always consult books on dining etiquette for meals held for visiting heads of state.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Smoked Pork Ribs

American Entree

SMOKED PORK RIBS

INGREDIENTS

2 pounds pork ribs
1 tablespoon yellow mustard
1 tablespoon brown sugar
1 tablespoon chili powder
1 teaspoon onion powder
1½ tablespoons paprika
2 teaspoons salt
¼ cup barbecue sauce

SPECIAL UTENSILS

smoker
electric thermometer
wood chips (oak, apple, hickory, pecan, cherry, or mesquite)

Serves 4. Takes 5 hours. Time includes preheating the smoker. Times vary with smokers.

PREPARATION

Preheat smoker to 250 degrees. Add wood chips to smoker. While smoker heats, use brush to spread ribs with yellow mustard. (This helps keep the following rub on the ribs.) While smoker preheats, add brown sugar, chili powder, onion powder, paprika, and salt to mixing bowl. Mix with whisk or fork until well blended. Rub mixture evenly over both sides of ribs.

Add ribs to smoker rack. Insert electric thermometer in the middle of the ribs. Avoid the bones. The ribs are done when the internal meat temperature reaches 190 degrees or when the meat retracts . Remove from heat. Brush ribs with barbecue sauce. Return ribs to smoker. Smoke for 15 minutes. Remove from heat. Tear pork into individual ribs.

TIDBITS

1) The pork ribs shown above look like a butterfly. Indeed, pigs often hide in swarms of butterflies. Since they spend so much time together, it is important to compare pork ribs with butterflies.

BENEFIT                            PORK RIBS   BUTTERFLIES
Pollinate flowers                      no                  yes
Boost tourism                          no                  yes
Provide antibiotics                   no                  yes
Keep insects under control      no                  yes
Are Tasty                                  yes                 no

There you have it, a surprise 4-to-1 victory for the butterfly.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Official Dinner Invitation For President Biden

I had to use this. My photo of Biden didn’t look like Biden

I have invited every president to a debate or a dinner. I see no reason to stop this fine tradition. So,

Dear President Biden,

I am officially inviting you and whomever you wish to come with you to have a gourmet five-course meal at my humble abode in Poway, California. My wonderful wife, many friends, and I eagerly await your appearance. As you know, Mr. President, Poway is the hot point of all political campaigns and legislation. The saying runs, “As goes Poway, so does the Presidency.”

You’ll have have a great time in Poway with its many streets, walking trails, theaters, library, and the site of the proposed Candyland(tm) Museum. So, please come. It will help your approval rating. And heck, you’ll have fun chowing down on home-style gourmet cooking.

Sincerely,

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

P.S. I even have the complete collection of The Adventures of Robin Hood with Richard Greene. We could watch that after dinner.

 

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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