Posts Tagged With: vinegar

Achiote Sauce

Mexican Appetizer

ACHIOTE SAUCE

INGREDIENTSAchioteSauce-

4 ounce achiote brick or dry paste
1 cup lemon juice
3/4 cup orange juice
3/4 cup water
3 garlic cloves
1 medium onion
5 jalapeno peppers
2 tablespoon chili powder
1 tablespoon cilantro
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 ½ tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons white vinegar

makes 4 cups

PREPARATION

Add achiote brick, lemon juice, orange juice, and water to mixing bowl. Stir with whisk until achiote dissolves. Remove seeds from jalapenos. (Be sure to wash your hands immediately afterward or touching your face will make it sting like the dickens.) Dice garlic, onion and jalapenos. Melt butter. Add onion, jalapeno, butter, chili powder, cilantro, olive oil, and vinegar to mixing bowl. Mix with whisk until well blended. Goes well with Mayan tacos and nearly everything Mexican. Well, maybe not flan.

TIDBITS

1) And now a crossword puzzle for people who don’t like to be confused.CrosswordSquare-

ACROSS 1 ) The first letter in the alphabet.

DOWN 1) The word “apple” starts with this letter.

 

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

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Coleslaw

American Entree

COLESLAW

INGREDIENTSColeslaw-

1 head green cabbage
2 medium carrots
1/2 sweet onion (Vidalia or Walla Walla)
1 cup mayonnaise
1/2 tablespoon apple cider vinegar
1/2 tablespoon red wine vinegar
1/2 teaspoon celery seeds
1/2 teaspoon dill weed
1/4 teaspoon lemon pepper
1/2 teaspoon parsley
1/4 teaspoon salt

SPECIAL UTENSIL

food processor

PREPARATION

Use food processor to grate half of the cabbage head. Thinly slice the other half. Grate carrots and onion. Add all ingredients to mixing bowl and mix thoroughly. Serve first to the person who offers to clean up.

TIDBITS

1) Please relax a bit and enjoy the best song I know about coleslaw, “Coleslaw,” by Jesse Stone.

American Entree

COLESLAW

INGREDIENTS

1 head green cabbage
2 medium carrots
1/2 sweet onion (Vidalia or Walla Walla)
1 cup mayonnaise
1/2 tablespoon apple cider vinegar
1/2 tablespoon red wine vinegar
1/2 teaspoon celery seeds
1/2 teaspoon dill weed
1/4 teaspoon lemon pepper
1/2 teaspoon parsley
1/4 teaspoon salt

SPECIAL UTENSIL

food processor

PREPARATION

Use food processor to grate half of the cabbage head. Thinly slice the other half. Grate carrots and onion. Add all ingredients to mixing bowl and mix thoroughly. Serve first to the person who offers to clean up.

TIDBITS

1) Please relax a bit and enjoy the best song I know about coleslaw, “Coleslaw,” by Jesse Stone.

2) There are no fun facts about coleslaw. It’s best to talk about something other than coleslaw at parties if you wish to get invited again.

3) But people will think urbane and witty if you expound eloquently on the brilliant songwriter, Cole Porter. Cole Porter wrote the song, “Anything Goes.” It manages to be absolutely wonderful without even mentioning coleslaw once.

4) There is no coleslaw museum anywhere, so Cole Porter isn’t the only one to ignore this noble dish.

5) But if there were a coleslaw museum, I’m sure Jess Stone would have a place of honor.

6) Coleslaw does get mentioned in the classic song, “Ghost Chickens in the Sky” by Leroy Troy. The cause of culinary music marches on.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Koshary From Egypt

Egyptian Entree

KOSHARY

INGREDIENTSKoshary-

1 cup lentils
3 cloves garlic
2 onions
4 tomatoes
1 1/2 cups white rice
1 pound elbow macaroni

1/2 tablespoon olive oil (1-1/2 tablespoons more later)
1 15 ounce can chickpeas
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 tablespoon cumin
1 teaspoon black pepper
1/2 teaspoon salt
1-1/2 tablespoons olive oil

2 tablespoons white vinegar
1 tablespoon red wine vinegar
1 teaspoon salt

Makes 8 bowls. Takes 1 hour 30 minutes.

PREPARATION

Soak lentils in bowl for 1 hour. While lentils are soaking, mince garlic and onions. Dice tomatoes. Cook rice according to instructions on package. Cook elbow macaroni according to instructions on package. Cook lentils according to instructions on package. (Thank goodness for package instructions.)

Put olive oil and onion in skillet. Sauté on medium-high heat for 10 minutes or until onion begins to brown. Stir frequently. Remove onion and place on towel-covered plate. Add garlic to skillet. Sauté on medium-high heat for 2 minutes. Stir frequently. Remove garlic and place on towel-covered plate.

Add olive oil, chickpeas, tomato, cayenne pepper, cumin, black pepper, and salt to skillet. Cook on medium heat for 10 minutes. Stir occasionally. Put chickpea mixture into serving bowl.

Combine garlic, white vinegar, and red wine vinegar in mixing bowl.

Serve on plate with a spoonful each of: rice, macaroni, lentils, chickpea mixture, vinegar/garlic mixture, and top with a spoonful of sautéed onion.

TIDBITS

1) Chickpeas preserved the United States of America during its unpleasant Civil War of 1861-1865.
2) Rebel forces during this war often ran short of fun food to eat. Sausage pizzas were unheard of on the front lines as early as August, 1861. Quiche Lorraine disappeared by February, 1862. Caviar in April. Chicken parmigiana in August. And so it went. The Confederate forces had to subsist on chickpeas.

3) By September, 1862, the Confederacy was on the culinary ropes. General Robert E. Lee, command of the Army of Northern Virginia devised a daring invasion of Maryland and Pennsylvania to secure vast supplies of ham so necessary to delicious recipes such as juice and sugar-glazed ham.

4) But it didn’t happen. Sometime in September, Union soldiers looking for fine Southern tobacco hit the Mother Lode, found three fine cigars wrapped in sheets of paper. These papers detailed General Lee’s invasion plans.

5) The Union scouts turned the plans over to General McClellan, commander of the Army of the Potomac. The Northern forces scurried, between epic banquets, to intercept the rebel foes. The worthy foes collided at Antietam, Maryland on September 17, 1862.

6) Fighting at Antietam’s cornfield was so hot that the kernels popped off the corn cobs. And so popcorn was invented while the South’s hopes for military victory melted as fast as ice cream on a charcoal grill.

7) But it needn’t have happened that way. If only Lee’s orders had been wrapped in a can of chickpeas. Those Northern scouts fresh off a meal of bacon cheeseburgers would surely have ignored orders surrounding a can of chickpeas.

8) And so, the South would eventually lose the Civil War. The Union would be preserved. Slavery would be abolished and bacon cheeseburgers would forever after dominate the nation’s culinary scene.

9) And so it goes.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Provencale Dressing Recipe

French Appetizer

PROVENÇALE DRESSING

INGREDIENTS

ProvDre-

2 cups mayonnaise
6 tablespoons red wine vinegar
2 garlic cloves
1/2 tablespoon Dijon mustard
1/2 tablespoon herbes de Provence
1/4 teaspoon French tarragon (or tarragon)
1/4 teaspoon white pepper
1/4 teaspoon sweet French basil (or basil)

PREPARATION

Mince garlic cloves. Combine all ingredients in mixing bowl. Mix thoroughly. Cover and refrigerate for 2 hours or until you can’t stand waiting any more or until ravenous guests arrive.

TIDBITS

1) This recipe tells you to cool the dressing in your fridge.

2) Putting your beer bottle in your fridge is not the fastest way to cool it down.

3) The fastest way to cool down your beer is to put it in a sink full of cold water and crushed ice while cold tap water falls on the beer bottle.

4) Okay, okay, the fastest way to cool down your bottle of beer is to combine your sink full of cold water and crushed ice with liquid nitrogen.

5) Too little liquid nitrogen and nothing happens.

6) Too much and your beer freezes. So will the water in your sink. So will your hand if you try to take the beer bottle out of the liquid nitrogen.

7) Tidbit 6 is why you must jump through all sorts of hoops to buy liquid nitrogen.

8) So may I suggest using tidbit 3 if you want to cool your beer.

9) Better living through chemistry.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Swedish Pizza Salad

Swedish Entree

SWEDISH PIZZA SALAD

INGREDIENTS

1/2 cabbage
1 shallot
1 red bell pepper
1 medium carrot

1/2 cup olive oil
1/4 cup white vinegar
1/4 cup water
1 teaspoon salt
3/4 teaspoon black pepper
1/4 teaspoon allspice

PREPARATION

Shred cabbage. Dice shallot, red bell pepper, and carrot. Mix together in big bowl.

Combine olive oil, vinegar, water, salt, pepper, and allspice in a sauce pan. Stir occasionally as you bring it to a boil. Pour it immediately into bowl with cabbage and fixings.

Eat right away or allow a few hours in the refrigerator for the salad to cool and marinate and to, of course, engage in arm wrestling with your athletic guests.)

Wow! This is so simple. It’s tasty. So exotic. Well, as exotic as Sweden gets.

TIDBITS

1) Sweden was home to the Vikings who raided, killed, and pillaged all over Europe from the 9th to the 13th centuries.

2) Now Sweden mainly terrorizes the world with the weird toppings on its pizzas.

3)Perhaps Sweden’s rampaging Vikings would have been content to stay at home if they had eaten this dish instead of lutefisk.

4) Lutefisk is the worst mass-produced food in the world.

5) Lutefisk is cod soaked in lye. Yes lye, the poisonous substance. While minimally tolerable in its brick-like state, lutefisk becomes truly vile when boiled.

6) Lutefisk tastes horrible, has a glue-like texture, and looks like … well, I won’t tell you. I’m grateful that it doesn’t assault the sense of hearing.

7) Kin and loved ones gave the Vikings lutefisk whenever they left for foreign lands to go raiding. They knew more lutefisk would be waiting for them when they returned. So, they often settled in foreign lands, like the Normans who sensibly preferred Coq au Vin and pastries.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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