Posts Tagged With: ghee

Masoor Dal (Red Lentils)

Posted on January 15, 2024 by pauldelancey

Indian Entree

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MASOOR DAL

(Red Lentils)

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INGREDIENTS
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1 cup split red lentils
2 green chiles
2 garlic cloves
1 small onion
2 tomatoes
1 dry red chile
2¾ cups water or vegetable broth
3 tablespoons ghee* or 1½ tablespoons vegetable oil
1 teaspoon cumin seeds
¾ teaspoon mustard seeds
2¼ teaspoons minced ginger
¼ teaspoon asafoetida*
¼ teaspoon garam masala
½ teaspoon Kashmiri* chili or cayenne powder
1 teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon turmeric
½ teaspoon fenugreek leaves
2 tablespoons lemon juice
1½ tablespoons fresh cilantro or ½ tablespoon dried cilantro
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* = Can be found online or ethnic supermarkets
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SPECIALTY UTENSIL
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instant pot
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Serves 4. Takes 35 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Rinse red lentils. Seed green chiles if you desire a milder taste. Dice garlic cloves, green chiles, onion, and tomatoes. Crumble red chile. Add red lentils and water to instant pot. Stir once to prevent sticking to the pot. Set instant pot to high and to cook for 5 minutes. Let pressure drop naturally for 10 minutes. Gradually open steam release. Carefully open lid. Mash red lentils to your liking.
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While red lentils cook, add ghee to pan. Heat on medium heat until ghee melts. Add cumin seeds, mustard seeds, and crumbled red chile. Sauté seeds until they crackle. Stir constantly. Add garlic, green chile, minced ginger, and onion. Sauté on medium heat for 3 minutes. Stir frequently, Add tomato, asafoetida, garam masala, Kashmiri chili, salt, and turmeric. Cook for 5 minutes or until tomato becomes mushy.
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Add red lentils and fenugreek leaves to pan. Simmer on low heat for 2 minutes. Stir occasionally. Add lemon juice. Stir until well blended. Garnish with fresh cilantro. Goes well with naan.
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TIDBITS
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1) Masoor Dal was born in India in the tiny village of Taaja Adarak. Not only was Masoor born in a specific place, he was born at specific time, 9:23 am, May 16th, 422 BC. Nobody would play with little Dal because he used to take asafoetida baths. Indeed, Masoor’s only companion was a time-traveling dog named Olafo. Olafo had materialized on Earth in 408 BC.
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2) “What a nice corgi,” thought the overly fragrant Masoor. “I do hope he won’t run away.”
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3) But Olafo stayed put. He’d suffered an olfactory injured in the Great Universal War between Olafo’s Orion Beltian and the sinful, hateful, evil Lutefisk Confederation of Pluto and couldn’t smell worth a darn.
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4) Masoor would often say, “I had friends.”  Olafo would reply, “I wish could smell dog butts.”
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5) “Why can’t you smell?” asked little Dal. “I damaged my nose in the war, yipped Olafo. A Lutefisker hurled a smell-stopper grenade (STG) at my squad. I sat on it. I saved my comrades, but at the cost of my nose. I’m hear on R and R.”
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6) “I notice you always carry a Lassie Laser with you?” said Masoor. “Why didn’t you fire it at him?” Olafo sighed. “The Lutefiskers had just developed an anti-electronics shield (AES). My laser couldn’t couldn’t penetrate it.” Masoor looked at his thumbs, for no apparent reason. “You need a catapult. They’re lethal and have no electronics. You’ll be invincible.”
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7) Olafo agreed. Soon the happy pair built their catapult. They loaded it with red lentils, chiles, garlic cloves, an onion, ghee, cumin seeds, mustard seeds, ginger, garam masala, Kashmiri chili, salt, turmeric, fenugreek leaves, tomatoes a huge lemon, and cilantro leaves for a flourish.
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8) Unfortunately, a mishap occurred on the first trial, hurling the enormous lemon at Olafo’s nose and knocking the No-Smell Particles (NSPs) loose that had lodged there. A canine sneeze soon dislodged them.
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9) Masoor’s asafoetida coated hand, patted Olafo’s head. “There, there.”
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10) “I can smell again,” yipped Olafo. “And you stink of asafoetida.”
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11) Little Lal’s face fell. “But that stuff on your hands would go great with the other ingredients in the catapult, of course.”
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12) “And if you put a huge rock, nothing else in the catapult, Olafo, you have a devastating weapon to use against the Lutefiskers.
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13) And so Olafo went back to his squad with his catapult. This weapon propelled the Orion Beltians to decisive victory. Masoor now put his asafoetida into his culnary masterpiece, Masoor Dal. People loved it and the now sweet-smelling chef got all the women. So, things ended well. Yay.

 Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Garlic Naan

Posted on January 11, 2024 by pauldelancey

Indian Appetizer

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GARLIC NAAN

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INGREDIENTS – NAAN
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1 teaspoon sugar
2 teaspoons yeast (room temperature)
⅓ cup warm water
3⅓ cups flour
½ cup warm milk
¼ cup olive oil (a total of 6⅓ tablespoon more later)
½ cup plain yogurt
¾ teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon olive oil (5⅓ tablespoons more later)
5⅓ tablespoons olive oil (16 times with 1 teaspoon each time)
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INGREDIENTS – GARLIC SAUCE
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2½ tablespoons ghee or butter
1½ tablespoons minced garlic
2 tablespoons fresh cilantro
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Makes 8 naans. Takes 2 hours.
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PREPARATION – NAAN
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Add sugar, yeast, and warm water to large mixing bowl. Mix with fork until sugar and yeast dissolve. Let sit for 10 minutes or until foamy. Add flour, warm milk, ¼ cup olive oil, yogurt, and salt. Mix with fork until well blended. Knead with hands until a smooth dough ball forms. Add 1 tablespoon oil. Rotate dough ball in oil until well coated. Cover and let sit for 1 hour or until dough ball doubles in size. Push down on dough.
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Add dough ball to flat surface. Divide dough ball into 8 mini-dough balls. Dust flat surface with 2 tablespoons flour.) Roll out mini-dough balls until they are ⅛”-to-¼” thick and about 6″ wide. These are your naans. Add 1 teaspoon olive oil to pan. Warm at medium-high heat until a tiny bit of dough starts to dance. Add 1 mini-dough ball to pan. Sauté at medium-high heat for 1 minute or  until bubbles form on top. Carefully flip naan, add 1 teaspoon olive oil and sauté for another 1 minute.  Repeat for remaining naans. (Sauté tend to diminish with each naan.
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PREPARATION – GARLIC SAUCE
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Mince cilantro. Add ghee to small pan. Melt ghee at medium heat. Add garlic. Sauté at medium heat for 30 seconds. Stir frequently. Brush naans with equal amounts of ghee/garlic. Sprinkle with cilantro .
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TIDBITS
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1) It’s rainy outside. This makes people, like me, silly. So these tidbits will be devoted to naan sense.
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2) Q: What’s the IT’ crowd’s favorite food?
A: Naan o’ Bytes.
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3) Genghis Khan, a Haiku
Mongol Genghis Khan
Who conquered lands far and wide
Ate our Garlic Naan
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4) Naan
Nan’s Naan
Nun Nan’s Naan
Nun Nan’s Nantucket Naan
Nun Nan’s Nantucket Naan needs
Nun Nan’s Nantucket Naan needs nearly
Nun Nan’s Nantucket Naan needs nearly nervous Ned’s
Nun Nan’s Nantucket Naan needs nearly nervous Ned’s nerdy
Nun Nan’s Nantucket Naan needs nearly nervous Ned’s nerdy named
Nun Nan’s Nantucket Naan needs nearly nervous Ned’s nerdy named gnomes’ knowledge
Nun Nan’s Nantucket Naan needs nearly nervous Ned’s nerdy named gnomes’ knowledge now
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5) Q: Can a naan become an American president?
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A: Yes, if was baked in America more than 35 years ago.
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6) Q: Doesn’t a president have to be alive?
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A: That’s why naans who want to become president get frozen.
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7) Q: Doesn’t the American Constitution say anything against cryogenically frozen people?
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A: No, it does not, but neither does it specifically rule out naans.
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So probably frozen naans are okay to preside over America.
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8) Q: But won’t the frozen naan will need to thaw when it’s time to run things? I mean, once it’s thawed, it will only last a few days if left out or at most a few weeks in the fridge?
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A) Yes indeed. This is why political parties try to pick a qualified candidate for vice president.
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9) Q: Couldn’t a progressively stale naan picked a fresh naan to be vice president? Then when that naan becomes president, select another naan to follow in its footsteps? Couldn’t we have one naan president after another until the next election?
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My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Digaag Qumbe (Coconut Yogurt Chicken)

Posted on August 12, 2023 by pauldelancey

Somali Entree

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DIGAAG QUMBE

­(Coconut Yogurt Chicken)

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INGREDIENTS­
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½ cup rice
2 garlic cloves
1 red onion
1 carrot
1 small potato
1 pound boneless chicken thighs
1 jalapeno
1 red bell pepper
2 tomatoes
¼ cup olive oil
2½ teaspoons ginger
1 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons Xawaash spice (See above recipe or buy online or at Middle Eastern stores.)
½ cup coconut yogurt or plain yogurt
1 tablespoon ghee or butter
2½ teaspoons tomato paste
¾ cup coconut milk
¼ cup fresh cilantro
6 bananas
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Serves 6. Takes 1 hour 25 minutes.
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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food processor
mandoline
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PREPARATION
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Cook rice according to instructions on package. Mince garlic and red onion. Use mandoline to cut carrot into circles ¼” thick. Cut potato into ½” cubes. Cut chicken into 1″ cubes. Add jalapeno, bell pepper, and tomatoes to processor. Puree until smooth. Add olive oil, garlic, and red onion to large pot. Sauté for 5 minutes at medium-high heat or until onion softens. Stir frequently.
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Add ginger, salt, Xawaash spice mix, and mixture from blender. Bring to boil using high heat. Stir frequently. Reduce heat to low-medium. Simmer for 5 minutes. Stir occasionally. Add coconut yogurt, ghee, and tomato paste. Simmer for 3 minutes. Add coconut milk, chicken, carrot, and potato. Simmer for 35 minutes or until chicken, carrot and potato are tender and sauce thickens. Stir occasionally. While chicken, carrot, and potato simmer, dice cilantro. Add rice to plates. Top with coconut yogurt/veggies/chicken. Garnish with cilantro. Serve alongside a peeled banana.
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TIDBITS
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1) According to Google Translate(tm). digaag, part of this entree’s name, translates into English as “digaag.”
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2) Digaag translates into French as “digaag.*”
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3) Digaag translates into Spanish as “digaag.”
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4) Tiny Luxembourg has its own language. It’s Luxembourgish. Digaag translates into Luxembourgish as “digaag.”
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5) Digaag even translates into Swahil as “digaag.”
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6) What can we conclude from this?
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7) That “digaag” is an important word to humanity.
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8) How important?
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9) So important that when humanity fractured into different group when they marched out from their common birthplace, Africa, they all hung onto a few common concepts. These common concepts remind us that we share common ground with our brothers and sisters all over the Earth.
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10) When an American man says, “digaag” to a French woman living in Paris, she will understand him just as clearly would any listener in Colorado, Columbia, or Germany.
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11) When we understand our foreign neighbors, we realize just how much we resemble them.
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12) When we know just how much other nations’ peoples resemble ours, our fears of them evaporate.
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13) When our fears evaporate, world peace breaks out.
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14) And that’s a good thing.
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15) So if you hear people speaking in a foreign tongue, go up to them and say, “Digaag.” They will appreciate your effort to communicate to them. They will even smile. You’ll smile back. And just like that, you’ll have new friends.
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16) And that’s a good thing, because one of your old friends still owes you money.
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17) Great news! Other words are the same* in other languages. They are: banana, coffee, computer, dollar, euro, film, gram, huh, internet, kilometer, mama, no, okay, papa, stool, sauna, sushi, and taxi.
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18) The possibilities for talking to people of other languages are endless. You could say, “banana, coffee, sauna, sush” or alternatively, “Internet, film, papa, taxi” and you’d be understood!
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19) You’d be taking one small step for new friends, one giant step for world peace. Yay!
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: history, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Paneer Bhuna Masala

Posted on June 9, 2023 by pauldelancey

Indian Entree

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PANEER BHUNA MASALA
(This is spicy!)

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INGREDIENTS
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½ pound paneer*
4 onions
4 tomatoes
2 tablespoons fresh cilantro
3 green chiles
2 dried red chiles
2 teaspoons vegetable oil
1 teaspoon cumin seeds
½ teaspoon mustard seeds
2 bay leaves
1″ cinnamon stick
2 cloves
½ tablespoon minced garlic
½ teaspoon minced ginger
1 tablespoon Kashmiri red chili powder**
2 tablespoons ghee or vegetable oil
½ teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon chili powder
¾ teaspoon turmeric
½ cup water
2 teaspoons coriander
¾ teaspoon fenugreek leaves
¾ teaspoon garam masala
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* = Can be found at Asian supermarkets or online. Substitute with feta, mozzarella, ricotta, queso blanco, or cottage cheese.
** =  Can be found at Asian supermarkets or online. Substitute with an equal mixture of paprika and cayenne or with ancho chili powder.
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Serves 4. Takes 1 hour.
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PREPARATION
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Cut into paneer into ¾” cubes. Mince onions and tomatoes. Dice cilantro and green chiles. Crumble red chiles Add 2 teaspoons vegetable oil, cumin seeds and mustard seeds to medium pan. Sauté at medium-high heat until seeds start to flutter, crackle, and pop. Stir enough to prevent burning. Add bay leaves, cinnamon, cloves, garlic, ginger, Kashmiri red chili, green chile, and red chile. Reduce heat to low. Simmer at low heat for 2 minutes. Stir enough to prevent burning. Remove from heat.
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Add 2 tablespoons ghee and onion to large pan. Sauté at medium-high for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Add tomato, chili powder, pepper, salt, turmeric, and seeds/garlic /ginger/seed mixture from medium pan to large pan. Reduce heat to low-medium and simmer for 5 minutes or until liquid thickens into gravy. Stir enough to prevent burning.
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Add paneer cubes and water. Raise heat to medium and simmer for 5 minutes. Stir enough to prevent burning. Add coriander, fenugreek leaves, and garam masala. Stir until well blended. Remove cinnamon stick and bay leaves.
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Garnish with cilantro. Goes well with naan bread.
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TIDBITS
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1) This vegetarian entree is so tasty.
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2) But it wasn’t originally meant to be vegetarian.
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3) Chef Ishaan Banerjee had planned to feature urban pea hens in his dish, Urban Pea Hen Masala.
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4) Because they have a nutty flavor.
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5) And taste like chickens.
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6) But especially like pea hens.
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7) Pea hens are called “pea hens” because they are quite round, like peas.
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8) Or round like bowling balls.
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9) Well-trained pea hens command a premium in the All India Pea Hen Bowling League (AIPHBL.)
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10) Urban pea hens can fly up to 100 mph. Rural pea hens are slightly slower than urban cousins and less urbane as well.
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11) Air forces the world round, are striving mightily to discover the pen hens’ secret. As of press time, their method remains an enigma.
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12) The pea hen’s velocity enabled this poultry to escape Chef Banerjee’s proposed entree. No pea hens, no Pea Hen Masala, urban or rural.
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13) Ishaan sought temporary respite from his woes through the manly pursuit of anagrams.
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14) Yo ho! Chef Banerjee discovered that an anagram of Urban Pea Hen is “Paneer Bhuna.”
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15) Why not substitute paneer for pea hens? He did. It tasted great.
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16) Now Chef Ishaan Banerjee and his culinary masterpiece Panner Bhuna Masala are famous all over the world. Yay, for he is a rather nice guy.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
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­My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Libyan Stuffed Onions (Basal Mashshi)

Posted on November 27, 2022 by pauldelancey

Libyan Entree

STUFFED ONIONS
(Basal Mahshi)

INGREDIENTS

5 large onions
1 garlic clove
2 Roma tomatoes
1 pound ground lamb, beef, or combination
3 tablespoons flour
½ teaspoon mint
¼ teaspoon oregano
¼ teaspoon fenugreek powder
½ teaspoon parsley (1 teaspoon more later)
½ teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon salt
¾ teaspoon turmeric
1 tablespoon ghee or olive oil (½ tablespoon more later)
½ tablespoon ghee or olive oil
½ cup water
1 teaspoon parsley

SPECIAL UTENSILS

potato peeler
pot just large enough for 5 large onions to just fit snugly inside

Serves 5. Takes 2 hours.

PREPARATION

Peel onions. Cut off the root and enough of the bottom of an onion so that it can stand upright. Remove the top ½” from the top of the onion. Save the onion top. Use knife to cut onion on one side through to the center of the onion from the top to the bottom. Use potato peeler, or small spoon to remove the inner layers of the onion until about ⅓” or 2-to-3 layers of outer layers remain. Repeat for each onion. Save half of the hollowed-out onion bits. Discard the rest.

Mince garlic and hollowed-out onion bits. Dice tomatoes. Add garlic, onion bits, tomato, lamb, flour, mint, oregano, fenugreek, ½ teaspoon parsley, pepper, salt, and turmeric to large mixing bowl. Mix with hands until well blended. Fill the hollowed-out center of onions with mixture from bowl. Grease bottom of pot with 1 tablespoon ghee. Pack onions into pot. Place the onions’ tops on onions. Add ½ tablespoon ghee and water to small mixing bowl. Mix together with whisk. Baste onions with ghee/water. Cover. Simmer at low heat for 1 hour. Remove and discard onion tops. Garnish each onion with 1 teaspoon parsley.

TIDBITS

1) Many people like to get the animals they shoot stuffed by a taxidermists. Indeed, stuffing large animals shot while on safari are considered to be a trophies. Who wants a trophy?

2) I do! I do!

3) But Paul, could you shoot a magnificent beast of the Veldt?

4) Mumbles, “No.”

5) Do you even think you could bring down a charging Bengal tiger?

6) Mumbles, “No, I might just wing it.”

7) So, you’d just enrage the tiger, wouldn’t you?”

8) “Yeah, I guess so.”

9) Can you outrun a Bengal tiger?

10)“No.”

11) Mightn’t you miss and bring down one of your fellow safari hunters?”

12) “Yeah, I suppose so.”

13) You’re aware that murder is wrong?”

14) Hangs head down. “Yeah.”

15) And that you’d probably go to jail for life, if not worse. Do you want that?”

16) “It’s not fair. It was an accident.”

17) Still . . .

18) “Could I have a do over?”

19) No! There are no do overs in shooting people.

20) “What if I said I was sorry?”

21) No!

22) “What if I stuffed onions and served them to guests as Libyan Basal Mahshi?”

23) That’ll do, Paul. That’ll do.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Mchicha From Tanzania (Spinach and Peanut Curry)

Posted on July 11, 2022 by pauldelancey

Tanzanian Entree

MCHICHA
(Spinach and Peanut Curry)

INGREDIENTS

1 medium onion
1½ pounds spinach
1 tomato
2½ tablespoons ghee or butter
2 teaspoons curry powder
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup coconut milk
2½ tablespoons creamy peanut butter

SPECIAL UTENSIL

food processor (You really need this unless you’re willing to spend a lot of time chopping by hand, or so a friend told me when his food processor died just as the spinach dicing started.)

Serves 6. Takes 40 minutes.

PREPARATION

Dice onion, spinach, and tomato. Add ghee, onion, tomato, curry powder, and salt to pan. Sauté at medium heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Add spinach. Lower heat to low and simmer for 10 minutes. (Do not let spinach get mushy.) Stir enough to prevent burning. Add coconut milk and creamy peanut butter. Simmer for 3 minutes or until peanut butter blends in completely. Stir occasionally.

Goes well with rice beans, or maize porridge.

TIDBITS

1) Popeye the Sailor ManTM loved spinach.

2) It also made him strong

3) Tanzania should have its own version of Popeye.

4) Papaye Mtu Baharia is quite possibly a correct translation of his name into Swahili.

5) The most popular name for men in Tanzania is James.

6) So, I give you James Mtu Baharia, Tanzania’s strong spinach-eating hero.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Halwa

Posted on November 22, 2021 by pauldelancey

Omani Dessert

HALWA

INGREDIENTS

¾ cup corn flour or tapioca flour
1 cup water
2 tablespoons ghee (2 more tablespoons later)
6 tablespoons chopped almonds or cashews or combination
1¾ cups sugar
¼ teaspoon cardamom
¼ teaspoon nutmeg
1 tablespoon rose water
8 saffron threads
1¾ cups water
¾ teaspoon toasted sesame seeds (¼ teaspoon more later)
½ tablespoon ghee
¼ teaspoon toasted sesame seeds.

SPECIAL UTENSIL

8″ x 8″ casserole dish

Serves 12. Takes 30 minutes if served warm or 1 hour if served cool.

PREPARATION

Add flour to mixing bowl. Gradually add 1 cup water, blending all the time. Add 2 tablespoons ghee, and almonds to pan. Sauté at medium-high for 3 minutes or until nuts start to brown. Stir frequently. Drain. Set aside.

Add sugar, cardamom, nutmeg, rose water, saffron, and 1¾ cups water to pot. Bring to boil using high heat. Boil for 5 minutes until sugar completely dissolves. Stir slowly and just enough to prevent burning. Reduce heat to low. Stir gently and constantly as you add in the flour/water mix. Let simmer until mixture thickens as starts to pull away from the sides of the pot. Fold in sautéed almonds and ¾ teaspoon toasted sesame seeds.

Grease casserole dish with ½ tablespoon ghee. Gently pour the setting mixture into casserole dish. Sprinkle with ¼ teaspoon toasted sesame seeds. Serve warm into cups or let cool until it sets.

TIDBITS

1) Halwa can remain on the kitchen table. It can also fly up to the ceiling. This is because it can, locally, turn the Earth’s gravitational field on and off. NASA is studying halwa intensively.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Bariis Iskukaris – Spicy Rice and Meat From Somalia

Posted on March 22, 2021 by pauldelancey

Somali Entree

BARIIS ISKUKARIS
(Spicy Rice and Meat)

INGREDIENTS

1 cup basmati rice
½” ginger root
2 garlic cloves
1 medium onion
1 large tomato
3 cardamom seeds
3 cloves
¾ pound lamb, beef, goat, or chicken
2½ tablespoons ghee or vegetable oil
1 cinnamon stick
¼ teaspoon coriander
¼ teaspoon cumin
¼ teaspoon salt
½ tablespoon vegetable seasoning
1½ cups water
½ teaspoon saffron threads

Serves 4. Takes 1 hour 40 minutes.

PREPARATION

Cook rice according to instructions on package. While rice cooks, grate ginger root. Mince garlic cloves and onion. Dice tomato. Grind cardamom seeds and cloves into powder. Cut meat into ½” cubes. Add ghee, garlic, onion, cardamom, cinnamon stick, and cloves to pan. Sauté for 5 minutes at medium-high heat or until garlic and onion soften. Stir frequently.

Add meat cubes, coriander, cumin, ginger, salt, and vegetable seasoning. Cook at medium heat for 5 minutes or until meat browns. Stir frequently. Add tomato. Cover and cook at medium heat for 10 minutes or until a sauce is obtained. Stir occasionally.

Add 1½ cups water. Bring to boil using high heat. Stir enough to prevent burning. Cover, reduce heat to low and simmer for 30 minutes or until meat is tender and most of the water has been absorbed. Stir occasionally. Add saffron. Cover, and simmer at low heat for 10 minutes. Stir occasionally. Remove cinnamon stick. Add rice to plate. Ladle spicy meat mix onto rice.

TIDBITS

1) Food left on a burner can burn within minutes or at the most, within a day. Bears take two weeks to three months to hibernate. It’s a certainty that any food bears left on the stove at the start of their Big Sleep will have turned into ashes by the time they stirred. There’s no evolutionary future for a species that habitually burns its food. That’s why we descended from apes.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Biryani From Pakistan

Posted on March 20, 2021 by pauldelancey

Pakistani Entree

BIRYANI

INGREDIENTS

2 medium onions
1 pound lamb or chicken
2 green chiles
1 garlic clove
¾” ginger root
1 large tomato
3 cardamom seeds
3 cloves
1½” cinnamon stick
¾ teaspoon garam masala
3 peppercorns
1 teaspoon red chile flakes or ½ teaspoon cayenne
½ teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon turmeric
6 tablespoons ghee or butter
1¼ cups basmati rice
2½ cups water
1 bay leaf
½ teaspoon saffron or  ¾ teaspoon safflower
¼ cup warm water
½ cup fresh mint leaves

SPECIAL UTENSILS

blender or food processor
mandoline
sonic obliterator

Serves 6. Takes 1 hour 30 minutes.

PREPARATION

Slice onions ⅛” thick using mandoline or knife. Cut lamb into 2″ cubes. Seed and dice green chiles. Use food processor to turn garlic cloves and ginger root into a paste. Puree tomato in blender.

Add green chile, onion, cloves, cardamom seeds, cinnamon, garam masala, peppercorns, red chile flakes, salt, turmeric, and ghee to large pan. Sauté at medium-high heat or until onion softens and browns. Stir frequently. Add garlic/ginger paste. Sauté at medium heat for 5 minutes or until garlic/onion paste becomes fragrant. Stir frequently. Add tomato. Cook at medium heat for 3 minutes. Add lamb. Cook at medium heat for 5 minutes or until lamb starts to brown. Stir occasionally. Reduce heat to low, cover, and simmer for 30 minutes. Stir enough to prevent burning.

While lamb simmers, add rice, 2½ cups water, and bay leaf to pot. Bring to boil using high heat for 15 minutes or until rice is al dente. Stir occasionally and add water as necessary to avoid burning the rice. Remove bay leaf. Drain and set aside. Add saffron and ¼ cup warm water to small mixing bowl. Stir, Add rice and saffron/water mixture. Cover and simmer at low-medium heat for 30 minutes or until rice is tender. Stir occasionally. Remove cinnamon stick.

While lamb/rice/saffron simmers, dice mint leaves. Garnish dish with mint leaves. Use sonic obliterator on any guest who crosses you in any way at anytime during preparation or serving.

TIDBITS

1) Pakistan is home to the ATM at the highest elevation in the world, 15,397.

2) The highest polo stadium on Earth is also in Pakistan. at 12,140 feet.

3) This means you can leave the stadium after a particularly exciting match and still have to climb up over a half mile to withdraw some cash. So, It really is best to come prepared with enough money for post-game activities.

4) Over half of the world’s hand-sewn soccer balls come from Pakistan. The British rulers of Pakistan, during the time of the Raj, loved to play soccer. But it took forever to ship soccer balls from Britain to Pakistan. The rest of the trip was by train. By the time, the soccer balls got to the soccer pitches, everybody would have gone home months ago. So, the British soccer officials asked the local businesses to make soccer balls. They produced fantastic leather spheres. Now, the British could play soccer whenever they wanted. The local businesses burgeoned. Now Pakistan dominates the hand-sewn market.

5) This is just one consequence of global imperialism.

6) Pakistan’s national anthem has been rated as one the best in the world. Well done, Pakistan.

7) On the other hand, two Pakistani brothers created the world’s first computer virus. Boo.

8) In 2011, Pakistani officials arrested a monkey crossing its border with India. I don’t know the charges. I’d really like to know the charges. No passport?

9) The national fruit is the mango.

9) One of the two national languages of Pakistan is Urdu. Only 7% of the population speak it. The most used non-English language is Punjabi.

10) Okay, suppose you’ve just withdrawn some rupees from the word’s highest-up ATM and you wish to buy some mangos at the local market. How would you say it? You would tell the merchant, “Iha aba kina hai?”

11) There, you have one fewer thing to worry about should you ever travel to Pakistan.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Tibet Yak Butter Tea

Posted on November 10, 2019 by pauldelancey

Tibetan Appetizer

YAK BUTTER TEA

INGREDIENTS

3½ cups water
2 tablespoons loose-leaf black tea or 6 black-tea bags
2 tablespoons yak ghee, yak butter*, or cow butter
½ cup whole milk
¼ teaspoon salt

* = Yak butter can be found in Tibet and nowhere else apparently, not even online. Yak ghee, however, can be purchased on line. I really tried to find yak butter. There are yaks farm in Colorado, Montana, and Wyoming. You can order yak meat from them or even an entire yak. Simply drive to a yak farm and buy the animal.. Somehow put the yak in your van or pickup truck. (I recommend against using the tiny Honda FitTM for this purpose.) Drive the yak back to your humble abode. Milk the yak. (You did buy a female yak, didn’t you?) Put the yak milk in your food processor. Blend until the yak milk separates into yak butter and yak buttermilk. Easy peasy. Drink the yak buttermilk as is or use it to make yak-buttermilk pancakes.

SPECIAL UTENSILS

stool (If you’re milking a yak.)
colander (If you’re using loose tea.)
blender
sonic obliterator

Serves 5. Takes 15 minutes.
.
PREPARATION

Add water to 1st pot. Bring water to boil using high heat. Add black tea. Reduce heat to low. Simmer for 3 minutes. Stir enough times to prevent burning. While tea simmers, build a financial empire. Remove tea leaves or tea bags from tea. Add tea, yak butter or ghee, milk, and salt to blender. Blend on low speed for 3 minutes. Serve the tea right away. Zap un-appreciative guests with your sonic obliterator. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life.

TIDBITS

1) This dish is truly difficult to assemble and make. How difficult, you ask?

2) You have to go to a yak farm in west-central America to even find yaks.

3) Suppose you don’t want to buy a yak and take it home. (As suggested earlier in the recipe.)

4) You could ask the yak ranchers if you could milk the yaks right there.

5) They might refuse. They might charge you a lot for milking privileges. They might let you do it for free if they’re in the mood for a laugh and it has been a plumb stressful week of yak ranching.

6) Suppose you get some yak milk. Good. Now you have to transport it back home and that’s likely to be a long drive. And you’ll need to keep that milk cold all the way back or it’ll go bad.

7) The distance from my home to the Colorado yak ranch is 1,155 miles. That would take me 16.5 hours.

8) I wouldn’t risk using a cooler for such a lengthy venture. I think it’s likely the milk would still get warm and go bad in a cooler.

9) I’d be ticked off beyond measure if I drove 16.5 hours to get to the ranch, got laughed at the ranch hands while I milked the yaks, and took the same time to get back home only to find the yak milk went bad.

10) Nothing’s worse than spoiled yak milk

11) Best to put a refrigerator in your care. Plug the fridge into the cigarette lighter. Could you get enough electricity from the cigarette lighter to power the refrigerator? Even if you could, how many miles to the gallon would your get? Two?

12) You could try taking a portable electric generator with you. Could such a generator power your fridge all the way back from Colorado, where you were laughed at while milking yak cows? Doubtful.

13) It’s simpler to fly to Lhasa, Tibet, then buy some yak butter there. As of today, I can fly round trip from near my home to Lhasa, Tibet for $867 with each flight taking 50 hours, a scant 27 hours each way for a scant $1,344.

14) Then buy a really, really tight container, one that doesn’t let heat in at all. Pack the container with ice. Mail it from Lhasa. Pick package up at home. Is this at possible?

15) Don’t know. That’s why I ordered some yak ghee.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

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