Posts Tagged With: American

Pumpkin Pie

Posted on November 28, 2013 by pauldelancey

American Dessert

PUMPKIN PIE

INGREDIENTSPumpkinPie-

2 eggs
1/4 teaspoon cardamom, ground
1/2 tablespoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon cloves, ground
3/4 teaspoon ginger, ground
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup sugar
1 15 ounce can pumpkin mashed or puree
1 12 ounce can evaporated milk
2 8″-to-9″graham-cracker pie shell or 1 9″ deep dish graham-cracker pie shell
whipped cream for topping

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Add eggs, cardamom, cinnamon, cloves, ginger, nutmeg, salt, and sugar to large bowl. Beat eggs with whisk. Add pumpkin. Mix with whisk. Add evaporated milk. Mix again with whisk. Pour mixture into pie shell. Put filled pie shell in oven and bake at 425 degrees for 15 minutes. Reduce temperature to 350 degrees. Bake an additional 40-to-50 minutes or until toothpick inserted into the pie’s center comes out clean. Cool on wire rack for 2 hours. Serve with whipped cream. Yum.

TIDBITS

1) Pumpkins are grown on every continent except Antarctica.

2) Morton, Illinois is the Pumpkin Capital. Go visit its Pumpkin Festival in mid September.

3) Pumpkin seeds have been used to remove freckles.

4) Linus from the comic strip Peanuts believed in the Great Pumpkin. See the lyrics for “I’m dreaming of the Great Pumpkin” and other pumpkin songs.

6) In 2009, motorcyclists in Nigeria wore dried pumpkin shells on their heads to circumvent laws making them wear helmets.

7) Irish lore says Stingy Jack was too miserly to get into Heaven. But Jack had tricked the devil so he wasn’t welcome there either. Jack roamed the darkness between Heaven and Hell with a lit, carved pumpkin. This is probably the basis for pumpkin carving on Halloween. That and freckle fear.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Bacon Roses

Posted on November 26, 2013 by pauldelancey

American Breakfast

BACON ROSES

INGREDIENTSBaconRoses-

1 pound sliced bacon

SPECIAL UTENSILS

1 box wooden toothpicks
1 or 2 baking pans (must have raised sides to keep bacon grease from spilling into oven)

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Roll up bacon slice. Put 3 or 4 toothpicks into the bottom of the bacon roll so it stands upright like a spaceship. Repeat for remaining slices. Put bacon spaceships upright in baking pan. Bake at 400 degrees for 20 minutes. Serve and enjoy. This dish is particularly good on the mornings of those romantic days such as Valentine’s Day or your anniversary and you’ve suddenly realized, Oh my gosh, I forgot to get flowers.

TIDBITS

1) Bacon is great for you. It will make you live longer. For proof, click http://newrisingmedia.com/all/2013/9/30/study-shows-eating-bacon-will-make-you-live-longer.

2) Bacon inspires artists. For Nick Offerman’s slam poem for bacon click https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSVO5VloDlc. Read Shakespeare’s Henry IV Part 1 and The Merry Wives Of Windsor to see how bacon inspired the Great Bard.

3) I am running for president on the Bacon & Chocolate Party ticket. My running mate is Candace C. Bowen. Click on https://www.facebook.com/BaconChocolateParty for more information.

4) Bacon conquered the Wild West. Settlers from the East carried bacon, coffee, beans, and flour with them. Wagon trains carrying too little bacon turned back or met with horrible fates.

5) Making bacon by preserving and salting pork bellies began with the Chinese around 1500BC. The earliest account of bacon and eggs for breakfast dates back to 1560. China is the world’s most populous nation. Coincidence? Perhaps.

6) George Orwell wrote about bacon in 1931. He wrote Animal Farm fourteen years later, possibly to justify the killing of pigs to make bacon.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Fried Doughnut Bites

Posted on November 25, 2013 by pauldelancey

American Dessert

FRIED DOUGHNUT BITES

INGREDIENTSFriedDB-

1 large egg
1/3 cup sugar
1/2 cup milk
2 tablespoons vegetable oil (1 cup more later)
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour (plus a bit more later)
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons baking powder

1 cup vegetable oil
flour to dust hands
1 cup confectionary sugar

PREPARATION

Use whisk to mix egg, sugar, milk, and 2 tablespoons vegetable oil. Add flour, salt, baking powder. Mix again, this time with fork. (You’ll go crazy getting the flour out of the inside of a whisk.)

Heat 1 cup vegetable oil in skillet to 375 degrees. Drop dough balls of about 1-to-2 teaspoons in size into heated oil. (Dust hands with flour between making each dough ball. The flour keeps dough from clinging all over your hands.)

Fry dough balls for 2 to 3 minutes or until golden brown. Be sure to taste a few dough balls before serving. Don’t want to serve ones that aren’t done. Turn frequently when cooking. (No, don’t turn yourself around. You’ll get dizzy. Turn over the dough balls.)

Put cooked doughnut bites in paper towels to absorb grease. Roll in confectionary sugar if desired. Most people will want this last step.

TIDBITS

1) This dish was originally supposed to be called “Fried Doughnuts.” However, doughnuts made this way don’t look like the round doughnuts with the whole in the middle.

2) It’s also why members of my family helpfully, even gleefully suggested the following names: Doughnut Crumbles, Fat Balls, and Fat Bombs.

3) The family was unanimous in liking them, though.

4) I think a great slogan for a doughnut shop would be, “Our doughnuts are made from real dough.” Might make you think what donuts from donut shops are made from.

5) Law enforcement officials like to eat doughnuts on stakeouts because they can eat them and still keep a hand free for emergencies and both eyes on the place they’re watching.

6) Doughnuts were considered real treats on cattle drives during the Old West

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Creamy Garlic Mashed Potatoes

Posted on November 14, 2013 by pauldelancey

American Entree

CREAMY GARLIC MASHED POTATOES

INGREDIENTSCreamyMashPot-

1 1/2 pounds new or small potatoes
4 cloves garlic
2 tablespoons butter
1/2 cup whipping cream
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper

PREPARATION

Peel potatoes. Cut each potato into eight pieces. Put potato pieces into large pot. Add enough water to cover potato bits. Bring water to boil on high heat. Reduce heat to low and simmer for about 20 minutes or until potato is tender. Drain potatoes.

While potato is cooking, mince garlic cloves. Put garlic and butter in pan. Sauté at medium-high for 5 minutes. Stir frequently.

Add whipping cream, garlic, salt, and pepper to pot with potato pieces. Mash potatoes with potato masher. Use whisk to further blend ingredients together. Serve hot. (But of course, alll chefs are hotties.)

TIDBITS

1) Butter might promote fertility in women.

2) Cholesterol in butterfat helps develop children’s brains and nervous systems.

3) Butter contains arachidonic acid. I have no idea what arachidonic acid is. Clearly, I didn’t eat enough butter when I was a kid. However, I do know a spider is an arachnid.

5) The best, or at least most enjoyable, horror movie about spiders are: Tarantula (1955), Earth Versus the Spider (1958), The Giant Spider Invasion (1975), Kingdom of the Spiders (1978), and Arachnophobia (1990).

6) The best spider-horror movie with a cameo appearance by Clint Eastwood is Tarantula.

7) The most fun spider movie is Charlotte’s Web. It features a talking spider and a talking pig. There is another great movie about a talking pig is Babe. Hollywood thinks pigs are cuter than spiders.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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White Cake

Posted on November 8, 2013 by pauldelancey

American Dessert

WHITE CAKE

INGREDIENTSWhiteCake-

3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) butter
1 1/2 cups sugar
2 eggs
3 egg whites
2 cups flour
2 1/4 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
3/4 cups milk
no-stick spray

SPECIAL UTENSILS

2 9″-round cake tins
electric beater

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Let butter soften at room temperature. Put butter and sugar in large mixing bowl. Use “cake” setting on electric beater for 5 minutes or until butter and sugar becomes creamy.

Blend in eggs and egg whites one at a time using “cake” setting on electric beater. Add flour, baking powder, and salt to mixing bowl. Blend all using “cake” setting. Add milk. Blend one last time using “cake” setting on your electric beater until batter is smooth.

Spray cake tins with no-stick spray. Spoon or pour batter into cake tins. Put tins in oven. Bake at 350 degrees for 30-to-35 minutes or until a toothpick stuck in the middle comes out clean or when the cake springs back when touched with a spoon.

TIDBITS

1) Queen Marie Antoinette was told that the poor Parisians couldn’t afford to buy bread anymore. She said, “Let them eat cake,” which was more expensive. This ignorance and callousness so inflamed the French poor that they started the French Revolution.

2) Thousands of the nobility died at the guillotine during the Revolution. Thousands more peasants died during the White Terror reaction of the nobility. France became so unstable that Napoleon was able to seize power in 1799. Napoleon plunged Europe into nearly constant warfare for the next sixteen years. Hundreds of thousands of people perished. People couldn’t every tweet outrage.

3) The French government since then has heavily regulated the price of bread.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Peanut-Butter Milkshake

Posted on October 24, 2013 by pauldelancey

American Dessert

PEANUT-BUTTER MILKSHAKE

 INGREDIENTSPeaBuMS-

3 cups milk
1 cup smooth peanut butter
2 1/2 cups vanilla ice cream

PREPARATION

Put milk in blender. Add 1 cup of peanut butter. Put the peanut butter directly into the blender until the level of the milk reaches 4 cups. (Measuring sticky peanut butter exactly by the measuring cup is a colossal pain.) Make sure, though, that the peanut butter is completely submerged in milk. Similarly, add the ice cream until the milk’s level reads 6 1/2 cups.

Blend the mix at the “milkshake” or “blend” speed until you get your desired level of smoothness. You smooth operator, you.

TIDBITS

1) This has a lot of calories in it. So beware.

2) It sure is tasty, though.

3) I had a peanut-butter milkshake in Plains, Georgia, the hometown of President Jimmy Carter.

4) Everyone told me how I had just missed seeing him by a half hour and how he liked to talk to people.

5) I waited a bit hoping he would come back soon, but he didn’t.

6) I never saw him, ever.

7) Culinary life isn’t always fair.

8) But I’ve gotten over it, mostly.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: cuisine, humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Deviled Eggs

Posted on October 23, 2013 by pauldelancey

American Appetizer

DEVILED EGGS

INGREDIENTSdevdegg-

4 eggs
1/3 teaspoon paprika
1 1/3 tablespoons mayonnaise
1/3 teaspoon mustard powder

PREPARATION

Place eggs in a pot. Put water in pot. Bring water to boil. Cook for twelve minutes. (Read short sentences.) Do not overcook; a green coating on the yolk would look especially horrible for this recipe. Put eggs in bowl of cold water for fast cooling. Remove shells, cracking the eggs from the bottom first.

Cut eggs in half, lengthwise. Remove the egg yolks. Release your pent-up frustrations mashing them with your handy whisk. Mix in paprika, mayonnaise, and mustard powder.

Spoon this mixture back into the holes left by the removed yolks. Sprinkle only a lit bit more paprika over each entire egg for visual effect. Serve.

This is so easy. And it’s considered a gourmet food. Wow! There’s no excuse not to look suave and sophisticated at dinners or potlucks with this recipe.

TIDBITS

1) Paprika is by far the most popular spice in Hungary. The poppy seed is almost revered in that country. Hungarians refused to join the European Community until they were guaranteed unrestricted poppy-seed production. The European Union caved.

2) The ancient Egyptians boiled goose eggs. Apparently, those eggs are indigestible otherwise. A raw goose egg? Ugh. I’ll take the word of the ancients on this one.

3) Spicy stuffed eggs were eaten in 13th century Andalusia, a region of Spain. Spain discovered the New World in the late 15th century. Coincidence? Perhaps.

4) King Louis XV ate boiled eggs every Sunday. This practice ceased with his death.

5) The culinary term “deviled” arose in the late 18th century and referred to highly seasoned or fiery dishes.

6) My wife doesn’t like using the term “devil” in anything. So if you have another name for this dish, I’d appreciate hearing it.

7) Tampa’s baseball team used to be called the Devil Rays. They are now know as the Rays. So, other people must feel the same way.

8) My brother and I had egg holders when we were children in Australia. Neither of us ever played for the Rays. Coincidence? Perhaps.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Cooking Basics: Cheerios

Posted on October 21, 2013 by pauldelancey

American Breakfast

CHEERIOS

Every budding chef, whether five years old or fifty, must start somewhere. Why not with this confidence builder?

INGREDIENTScheerio-

1 bowlful CheeriosTM
1 bowlful milk, 1 pint maybe?

Pour a bowlful of CheeriosTM into a bowl. A ceramic bowl works best, but if this dish is a challenge for you and you’re fifty, you might only have a plastic dish with the slogan, “Gashud for Kansas Agricultural Commissioner” on it. Fear not, the plastic bowl will work just fine.

The next step is critical.

Pour the milk over the CheeriosTM and into the bowl. The amount of milk is a matter of taste. I prefer just enough to make the cereal float. Don’t be afraid to experiment!

DO NOT leave this bowl of milk and Cheerios unattended for more than ten minutes. The cereal will lose its crunchiness. It will become soggy. Ugh. This horrifying mistake will scar your psyche for life. Don’t do it. No! Eat the cereal right away.

If this recipe didn’t turn out quite right, don’t fret. Try again. As the famous chef Julia Child maintained, if no one saw your culinary mishap it didn’t happen.

If you succeeded in this venture, congratulations. You are ready for your next culinary triumph.

TIDBITS

1) A nice relaxing bath with powdered Cheerios relieves itching. Do the Cheerios get soggy? I imagine so; I’ve never tried it.

2) Cheerios does not have evil high-fructose corn syrup in it.

3) Break apart a Cheerio to form the number one. Put thirteen whole Cheerios after it to form the number ten trillion, roughly the size of the Federal deficit.

4) I have a sneaking suspicion Ian Fleming came up with the idea for James Bond, 007, while eating Cheerios.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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SPAM Bento

Posted on October 18, 2013 by pauldelancey

Hawaiian Entree

SPAM BENTO

INGREDIENTSBentoBox-

2 cloves garlic
1/4 cup dandelion greens
1 Roma tomato
2/3 cup brown sugar
4 teaspoons lemon juice
1/2 cup pineapple juice
4 teaspoons red wine
3 tablespoons cup soy sauce
1/3 cup water
3 tablespoons cornstarch
1 12 ounce can SPAM
4 pineapple rings
2 cups plain cooked rice

makes 2 bentos (a Japanese style lunchbox)

PREPARATION

Mince garlic clove. Snip stems off dandelion greens; cut each green leaf into four pieces. Slice tomato into thin slices.

Prepare the marinade. Put garlic, brown sugar, lemon juice, pineapple juice, red wine, soy sauce, water, and cornstarch in large mixing bowl. Stir with whisk or fork until brown sugar dissolves and cornstarch blends in.

Slice SPAM into 4 thin rectangles;. add to marinade and let marinate for 60 minutes.

Place a skillet on medium heat; when hot, add SPAM and pineapple. Fry for 4 minutes on medium heat. Turn over SPAM and pineapple. Fry for another 4 minutes. Add marinade to SPAM and pineapple in skillet. Simmer for 8 minutes on low heat, stirring constantly.

Place half of the dandelion leaves in a small section of the bento. Put tomato in another small section. Place SPAM in one side of the large section and pineapple in the other side.

Serve with plain cooked rice. Wild dandelion leaves may be used in this. Fresh ingredients always taste better. It is not possible to get fresh SPAM.

Just look the recipe photo and wonder why bento boxes haven’t caught on everywhere.

TIDBITS

1) I entered this recipe in the International Bento Contest 2013. I was so proud to have participated.

2)I have tried to show with this bento dish how cooking fosters friendship between countries even when there has been conflict. American soldiers and seamen brought SPAM, canned spiced ham, with them as they fought in the Pacific from 1942 to 1953. Hawaiians and Koreans, in particular, learned to love this food and adopted it into their own cuisine.

3) I created SPAM bento to show how fun and enjoyable dishes can be when created with the humblest ingredients.

4) I presented this meal in honor of Chuseok, Korean Thanksgiving Holiday, which was being celebrated at this time. Koreans celebrate by visiting family, paying respects to ancestors, and giving and receiving gift-wrapped cans of SPAM.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Powegian Smoothie

Posted on October 14, 2013 by pauldelancey

American Dessert

POWEGIAN SMOOTHIE

INGREDIENTSPowSmoo-

2 cups plain yogurt
1 cup milk
1 cup mixed berries (strawberries, blackberries, blueberries and raspberries)
1 tablespoon honey
1/4 cup sugar

SPECIALTY APPLIANCE

blender

PREPARATION

Put yogurt, milk, mixed berries, honey, and sugar in blender. (Milk will always refer to cow’s milk. If I mean another sort of milk, such as goat’s milk, or yak’s milk, I will specify it. I hope I never come across a recipe that uses yak’s milk, because I don’t know where to find it either.) Blend at “milkshake” setting for about 30 seconds or until thoroughly blended. Woo hoo, tasty and simple.
TIDBITS

1) Yogurt has been around for 4,500 years.

2) However, don’t get yogurt this old. Look at the expiration dates on the yogurt containers.

3) Plain yogurt can be made from any mammal’s milk, including the yak and the camel.

4) A store in Britain is selling ice cream made from human breast milk. Not sure about this.

5) Eating yogurt can reduce bad breath. It still is easier though to pop a mint in your mouth before kissing a date than to run to your car and eat a pint of yogurt.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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