international

Shakshuka, Israeli Breakfast Soup

Posted on February 2, 2013 by pauldelancey

Israeli Breakfast Soup

Shakshuka

IINGREDIENTSshakshu-

1 sweet red pepper
2 hot green chiles
1 white onion
2 garlic cloves
2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
24 ounces tomato sauce
1 tablespoon oregano
1/2 teaspoon salt
4 eggs

PREPARATION

Mince red pepper, green chiles, onion, and garlic. Put in skillet along with olive oil. Sauté on medium high heat for about 5 minutes or until onion is tender.

Add tomato sauce, oregano, and salt. Heat on high until sauce begins to boil, stirring frequently. Turn heat down to low. Add eggs. Cook until eggs are done to your satisfaction. Stir occasionally. This soup is often eaten directly from skillet.

Simple and quick with an impressive sounding name.

TIDBITS

1) People made soup as early as 6,000 BC.

2) Even then kids said, “Is it ready, yet?”

3) In 1772 BC Hammurabi of Babylon set down his famous set of 282 laws. Most of them dealt with business contracts and the family. None of them dealt with soup.

4) Current Nebraska law states a bar owner must be making soup at the same time beer is being sold.

5) So we’ve addressed the glaring soup admission in Hammurabi’s Code.

6) It took humanity over 3,700 years to do this.

7) In the meantime we’ve: discovered America via the land bridge from Asia, invented the printing press, and witnessed the creation and demise of the Twinkie.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Tomato Potato Soup Provençale Recipe

Posted on January 31, 2013 by pauldelancey

French Soup

Tomato Potato Soup Provençale

INGREDIENTSPoToPrS-

1 white onion
2 garlic cloves
2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
3 russet potatoes
6 Roma tomatoes
32 ounces chicken broth
1 tablespoon red wine
1 1/2 tablespoons herbes de Provence

PREPARATION

Mince onion and garlic. Put onion, garlic, and olive oil into frying pan. Sauté on medium high for 3-to-5 minutes or until onion is tender. Put onion and garlic into soup pot.

Peel and chop potatoes into cubes small enough to go into food processor. Mince potatoes. Mince tomatoes. Add to soup pot: potatoes, tomato, chicken broth, red wine, and herbes de Provence. Cook soup on high until it starts to boil. Turn down heat to warm and simmer for 40 minutes.

TIDBITS

1) The world’s best tomato festival, La Tomatina, is held in Bunol, Spain. It occurs on the last Wednesday in August. Up to 100,000 people attend. Why? Because it’s fun!

2) The festival hosts the world’s biggest tomato fight. Yippee. Up to 30,000 people participate, hurling some 200,000 overripe tomatoes at each other.

3) But just try throwing a rotten tomato at home or at the school cafeteria. Or at your local mayor or police officer for that matter.

4) And you get to eat fantastic tomato-based dishes before this culinary melee.

5) I wanna go there. I wanna go there. I wanna go there.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Bacon Buttermilk Pancakes Recipe

Posted on January 30, 2013 by pauldelancey

American Breakfast

BACON BUTTERMILK PANCAKES

INGREDIENTSbutt-

15 slices bacon (about 1 pound)
1/2 cup butter
1 cup cultured buttermilk blend
4 cups water
3 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 cup white sugar
1/4 cup baking powder
2 teaspoons baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
4 eggs

You can, of course, buy buttermilk instead of buttermilk blend, but your buttermilk will go bad if you don’t use it right away.

SPECIALTY UTENSILS

electric mixer
griddle or skillet

PREPARATION

Cut bacon strips in half. Fry bacon on medium-high heat until it starts to get crispy. Put bacon on towel-covered plate.

Melt butter. Use “batter” setting on electric mixer, or beater, to combine buttermilk blend, water, eggs, and butter. Combine in a second large mixing bowl: flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Pour the contents of the second bowl into the first mixing bowl. Mix together with fork until just blended.

Fire up the griddle to 350 degrees. Use a 1/2-cup ladle to pour your batter onto the griddle. Put two half bacon strips in batter. Cook for 1 3/4 minutes on the first side and for 1 1/2 minutes on the second side or until brown on both sides.

Makes about 16 8-inch diameter pancakes. Come join bacon mania.

TIDBITS

1) Bacon makes you smart.

2) The choline, whatever that is, in bacon stimulates fetal brain development.

3) China began preserving and salting pork bellies around 1,500 B.C.

4) China was one of the first places on Earth to develop a complex, thriving civilization. It is the most populous nation in the world.

5) The Greeks were one of the first peoples in the West to preserve and salt pork. The Greeks developed modern Western philosophy.

6) The Romans preserved and salted pork. They built the largest empire Europe and the Mediterranean world has ever seen. America’s founding fathers consciously based our system of government on the Roman model.

7) Americans eat bacon all the time. America’s economy is the largest in the world.

8) But other countries’ economies are catching up. Their peoples are eating more bacon.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Hot Dog Quesadillas À La Provençal Recipe

Posted on January 29, 2013 by pauldelancey

Fusion Entree

Hot Dog Quesadillas À La Provençal

INGREDIENTSTurkQue-

no-stick spray
4 turkey dogs
1 teaspoon herbes de Provence
1 Roma tomato
1/2 white onion
1/2 cup cheddar cheese
4 flour tortillas

PREPARATION

This fusion entree comes from my fevered imagination heated up by a surplus of tortillas and herbes de Provence. Oui arriba.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Cut turkey dogs into halves lengthwise. Coat hot-dogs with spray. Put herbes de Provence on plate. Roll turkey dogs on plate until they are all covered with herbes de Provence. Mince tomato and white onion. Sprinkle tomato, onion, and cheese evenly over two tortillas. Complete the quesadillas with another tortilla over each of the two-covered tortillas.

Put the quesadillas on a sprayed cookie sheet. Put in oven. Bake for about 10 minutes or until the quesadillas are crispy or start to brown. Cut quesadillas into halves and serve.

TIDBITS

1) There are apparently no fun facts about quesadillas. You’d think something that looks like a Frisbee would have all sorts of things listed.

2) But the Frisbee does. The Frisbee originally was developed by Morrison and Franscioni in 1948.

3) The inspiration for the design came from the pie pan that Morrison used for the pies he sold.

4) Millions and millions of Frisbees have been sold.

5) Just because Morrison and his wife tossed a pie pan around after eating a pie.

6) Unfortunately, other kitchen implements do not make good tossing toys. Knives and anything made of glass come especially to mind.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Berbere Potato Chips Recipe

Posted on January 28, 2013 by pauldelancey

Fusion Snack

Berbere Potato Chips

 INGREDIENTSBerPoCh-

4 russet potatoes
water
2 tablespoons berbere spice
peanut oil

PREPARATION

Wash potatoes. Slice them as narrowly as you can. A thin slice will come out like a potato chip. A thick slice results in a thin french fry. Put slices in large bowl. Put enough water to cover potato slices. Let sit for 20 minutes. Drain completely.

Sprinkle berbere spice on potato slices. Mix until potato slices are thoroughly coated with spice. Put enough peanut oil in skillet to cover potato slices. Heat skillet to 375 degrees. (It’s a good idea to hold the top of the skillet between you and skillet while putting the slices into the skillet from the skillet. Hot grease splatter is nasty.)

Fry for up to 7 minutes or until slices are crispy like, well, a potato chip. (Note, the time needed to turn a potato slice into a potato chip varies considerably with the thickness of the slice, so you will need to monitor the frying after about 2 minutes.)

Remove chips from skillet using a spoon with holes in it. Put chips on plate covered with paper towel. Enjoy.

TIDBITS

1) The ancient Greeks thought the four basic elements of the universe were: earth, wind, fire, and water.

2) A famous rock and roll band from the 70s was Earth, Wind, and Fire.

3) Adding the fourth Greek element, water, would have made their name too long..

4) If the band had a time machine they could have named themselves after this recipe and been known as Potatoes, Water, Berbere, and Oil. Neat, huh?

5) But the band didn’t have a time machine.

6) If I had a time machine I’d never do laundry. I’d simply keep going back to the day when all my clothes were clean.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Cashew Chicken

Posted on January 14, 2013 by pauldelancey

Chinese Entree

CASHEW CHICKEN

INGREDIENTSCashChx-

4 boneless and skinless chicken breasts

MARINADE

2 teaspoons peanut oil
1/2 cup soy sauce
3 tablespoons chili powder
1/2 teaspoon ginger powder
1/2 cup honey
4 teaspoons corn starch
2 teaspoon malt vinegar

MAIN

2 cups cashews
1 stalk green onion

4 green bell peppers
1 medium white onion

3 teaspoons soy sauce
3/4 cup water
1/4 teaspoon white pepper
2 1/2 teaspoons sugar
2 1/2 malt vinegar
1/2 teaspoon sesame oil

1 cup rice

PREPARATION

MARINADE

Cut chicken breasts into 1-inch cubes. Place cubes in mixing bowl. Add soy sauce, chili powder, ginger powder, corn starch, and malt vinegar. Mix thoroughly with hands or until chicken cubes are completely coated with this mixture. Let marinate from 30 minutes to several hours, the longer the better. (That is if your stomach stimulated by the wonderful aroma received by your nose will let you.)

MAIN PART

While waiting for chicken to marinate, add cashews to saucepan and cover with water. Bring water to boil and simmer for about 6 minutes until cashews become soft. Remove pan from heat, drain water, and set softened cashews aside. Dice green onion.

Mince green bell peppers and white onion. Sauté bell peppers and onion in saucepan until onion become soft and clearer. Add in: marinade, soy sauce, water, white pepper, sugar, malt vinegar, and sesame oil. Heat on medium high until all the chicken cubes are no longer pink inside. Determine the color by cutting a cube open. (Unless, of course, you are SupermanTM and have x-ray vision.) Stir frequently.

While chicken is cooking, prepare rice according to instructions shown on bag. Combine chicken cubes, marinade, green onion, and cashews. Serve on top of rice and enjoy.

TIDBITS

1) Ancient Babylon’s women ate sesame seeds and honey to prolong health and beauty.

2) Ancient Roman’s soldiers ate the same things to get strength and energy.

3) I wonder how many times the sesame seed/oil mixture gave beauty to the Roman soldiers and strength to Babylonian women. I mean sesame seeds and oil aren’t smart at all. I could very see how these inanimate objects could confuse these two missions.

4) Danged ants keep running across my keyboard. What do they expect to find here? There’s no food here. Stupid ants.

5) Great! Now, I’ve lost my train of thought. Stupid ants.

6) I wish I could make a deal with them. Stay out of my house forever and I’ll dump every morsel of food that doesn’t get cooked–such as fat, yum–-or eaten.

7) But ants aren’t that smart. That’s why they sometimes crawl over my keyboard looking for food. Stupid ants. Whap! One fewer ant. One fewer ant for Paul’s office, one great victory for picnickers everywhere.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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My Surefire Two-Day Weight Loss Program

Posted on January 11, 2013 by pauldelancey

Suppose you simply must lose weight in the next two days. How is this possible you ask? I am glad you asked. I am here to help. The best thing to do is give up desserts for the next 48 hours. However, when desserts look like the following it is clear an alternative path to quick weight is needed.

HawPiRo-

VanilCu- BluebCh-

 

 

 

 

 

May I suggest the following?

1) Do nothing. Your cells are busy doing all sorts of tasks. This takes energy. Making energy depletes your fat cells.

2) Brush your hair. Dandruff is excess weight.

3) Cut your hair. Hair is excess weight.

4)Dice an onion. Tears are excess weight.

5) Have sex. Bodily fluids are excess weight. Good aerobic exercise, too.

6) Worry a lot. Worrying uses up energy.

7) Weigh yourself in the morning. It’s been quite a while since you’ve eaten anything.

8) Visit the toilet before weighing. Which brings us to a great, sure weight loss method.

9) Get a colonoscopy. A proper colonoscopy is good for an easy six-to-eight pound loss. Be sure to set aside a full twenty hours before the colonoscopy for Toilet Day. Kinda gross, but are you dedicated or not?

10) Oh wait, wait, wait, this is critical. The weight reading on your scale varies considerably depending on where you stand on it and how you stand, upright or listing to the side. Indeed, if you do this simple trick well enough, you can eat all the yummy desserts you want and skip all those pesky suggestions above.

Bon appetit.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Vanilla Cupcakes

Posted on January 7, 2013 by pauldelancey

American Dessert

VANILLA CUPCAKES

INGREDIENTSVanilCu-

CAKE

1/2 cup butter
1 cup white sugar
3 large eggs
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon orange zest
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/3 cup milk (2 tablespoons more later)

FROSTING

2 cups confectionary sugar
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
2 tablespoons milk

SPECIAL UTENSILS

muffin tin with 12 holes
12 paper baking cups
electric mixer

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Assemble all ingredients. This will give the butter time to soften as it approaches room temperature. (Of course the butter really softens when you must go muttering to the store and back for a missing ingredient.)

Put softened butter, sugar, eggs, vanilla extract, and orange zest in mixing bowl. Use “blend” or “cookie mix” setting on mixer to combine these ingredients.

Add flour, baking powder, and milk to another bowl. Use “cake” setting on mixer. Add this mixture to the concoction in the first bowl, fire up the mixer again using the “cake” setting.

Put baking cups in holes in muffin tin. Pour the mixture into all baking cups. Bake at 350 degrees for 15 to 20 minutes or until a fork poked into a cupcake comes out clean.

While cupcakes are baking, mix confectionary sugar, butter, and vanilla extract with blender.

Remove cupcakes from oven and put them in the refrigerator to cool off. After cooling, top cupcakes with frosting. Serve to adoring public.

Okay, okay, maybe you couldn’t wait for the cupcakes to cool down enough to be covered with frosting. Maybe they smelled so good you accidentally ate one. Why then, tell everyone this is your recipe for Eleven Vanilla Cupcakes.

TIDBITS

1) Thomas Jefferson brought vanilla to America. He also wrote the Declaration of Independence, and made the Louisiana Purchase.

2) Those worthy achievements took him a lifetime.

3) You can make these cupcakes in an hour.

4) You can also eliminate musty car odors by placing a vanilla bean under the driver’s seat.

5) It is said that some fishermen put vanilla extract on their hands so that fish won’t smell them.

6) Why they would think fish would be jumping out of the water to smell any passing human hand, I’ll never know.

7) A few hundred years ago, noblewomen used vanilla extract to smell nice.

8) Then came soap.

9) Now you can get soap with vanilla in it. It’s all part of the great circle of life.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Garlic Potato Rice Soup And Sad Sack comic

Posted on January 4, 2013 by pauldelancey

French Soup

GARLIC POTATO RICE SOUP

 INGREDIENTSGarPoRS-

1/3 cup rice
2/3 cup water

2 russet potatoes
1 red potato
2 garlic cloves
1/3 large yellow onion
1 2/3 cups chicken broth
1/3 cup water
1/3 tablespoon Poultry MagicTM Spice
1/6 teaspoon lemon pepper spice

UTENSIL

potato masher

PREPARATION

Cook rice separately according to instructions on package. While rice is cooking, peel russet and red potatoes. Cut both types of potatoes into eighths. Peel and mince garlic cloves and onion.

Put potato eighths, garlic, onion, chicken broth, water, Poultry Spice, and lemon pepper into large soup pan. Cook at low-medium heat for about 50 minutes or until all the potato eighths are completely soft. Stir occasionally. Mash the potatoes constantly until you feel no resistance. (No, there is no masher for human relationships. No. No! I said no.) Stir frequently. Add cooked rice to potato soup.

Supermarket potatoes cost almost the same whether you buy five pounds, two pounds, or just one microwavable tater. So, we all purchase the economical five-pound bag, leaving us with a lot of potatoes. This tasty recipe reduces your spud surplus wonderfully.

TIDBITS

1) The nutritious potato almost single-handedly kept European peasantry alive during the Thirty Years War in the 17th century.

2) Deadly nightshade is related to the potato. Unlike, its cousin, the tater, this plant is a deadly poison.

3) Which is why my recipes never include deadly nightshade.

4) Nor any other poison for that matter.

5) I do, however, use tomatoes frequently. Tomatoes are related to both the potato and deadly nightshade and were considered poisonous by American settlers in the late 17th century.

6) This fear by early colonials of the mighty tomato completely explains the lack of pizza parlors in early America.

7) Salem, Massachusetts became notorious for its Witch Trials of 1692.

8) In 1905, Lombardi’s in New York became the first restaurant licensed to sell pizza.

9) So, the Witch Trials delayed the licensing of American pizza by 213 years.

10) This explains resistance to capital punishment among many chefs.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Sad Sack comic book from about 1967.

comic1

comic2

comic3

comic4

comic5

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Nine Disgusting Food Delicacies – NOT From Forthcoming Cookbook

Posted on December 26, 2012 by pauldelancey

maggotcheese

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gentle readers, if you are courageous and possess strong stomachs, may I suggest a walk on the culinary dark side. Warning, it’s strong stuff.

http://www.culinaryschools.org/cuisine/10-disgusting-delicacies/

Picture shows maggot cheese.

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