Bringing Order To The Bird World

How in the world did someone come up with the idea of calling a flock of crows a murder of crows? Why not call a flock of crows a FLOCK of crows? However, it is unlikely we will be able to change everything to flocks with the Supreme Court busy deciding cases of great import and gridlock in our Federal government. But we can legally change the names of the types of birds to something more interesting. I humbly propose the following:

A Murder of Crows becomes A Cacophony of Crows

We then have a, or an

bird                           – flock name
blackbird               – buboe
bobolinks              – Big Mac
boobies                  – booger
budgies                 – bean dip
buntings                – bunion
burrowing owls     – cacophony
ducks                     – DNA
elephants             – finch (an elephant is technically not a bird.)
falcons                  – fart sack
finches                  – elephant
hawks                  –  hemarrhoid
jays                       – jock itch
larks                     – lithograph
loons                    – Facebook
pigeons                – pizza
starlings               – lutefisk
swans                   – sarcasm
woodpeckers       – wart

You’ll have to excuse me, a bunion of buntings just flew by.

Good news, we are almost on the ballot in all fifty states and D.C.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on



Categories: humor, obsevations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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