Posts Tagged With: bread maker

Paul’s Pizza

American Entree

PAUL’S PIZZA

INGREDIENTS – PIZZA CRUSTpaulspizza

2⅔ cups all-purpose flour
⅓ cup beer
⅔ cup water
2⅔ tablespoons vegetable oil
¾ teaspoon sugar
¾ teaspoon salt
2½ teaspoons active dry yeast

no-stick spray

INGREDIENTS- TOPPINGS*

10 mozzarella sticks
6 tablespoons pasta sauce
12 ounces ground pork sausage
2 teaspoons Italian seasoning
2 teaspoons minced garlic
1½ cups grated mozzarella cheese

* = All of these toppings are divided equally between 2 pie tins.

SPECIAL UTENSILS

bread maker
2 8″-pie tins

Makes 2 8″ pies. Takes 1 hour 45 minutes.

PREPARATION – PIZZA CRUST

Add flour, beer, water, oil, sugar, salt, and yeast to the bread maker. Do not put the yeast directly on top of the salt. Salt is bad for yeast and yeast makes the dough rise. “Ask not what your yeast can do for you. Ask what you can do for your yeast.” Set the timer or the menu on the bread maker to “Dough.” Wait for the required time, about an hour. In the meantime preheat the oven to 400 degrees and liberally spray the pie tins with no-stick spray. This will prevent the crust from forming a glue-like bond with the pie tins.

Take the dough out of the bread maker and divide it into two lumps. Roll out one lump until its dough cover will cover the bottom and sides of the pie tin and still have 1″ of dough hanging over the edge of the pie tin. If you do not have a rolling pin, any canned food can will do as long as it is at least six inches tall. It is best to use no-stick spray on pie tin or coat it with a thin layer of flour before spreading the dough. Repeat for second dough lump. When 30 minutes are left on the bread maker, preheat oven to 400 degrees.

PREPARATION – TOPPINGS

Place 5 mozzarella sticks end-to-end and as close to the edge of the pie tin as possible. Fold the dough that’s hanging beyond the edge of the tin over the mozzarella sticks. The mozzarella sticks should be completely enclosed by dough.

Add 3 tablespoons pasta sauce to the pie tin. Spread with spatula. Flatten 6 ounces ground pork sausage until it is wide enough to cover the pasta sauce. Cover pasta sauce with ground pork sausage. Sprinkle 1 teaspoon minced garlic over pork sausage. Spread ¾ cup mozzarella cheese over ground pork sausage and minced garlic. Repeat for second pie tin.

Bake at 400 degrees for 15 minutes or until cheese starts to brown.

TIDBITS

1) The Eighteenth Amendment to the Constitution, prohibited the sale of alcohol. Beer has alcohol. Thus, the sale of beer was prohibited.

2) It didn’t take long for beer drinkers to realize if beer couldn’t be sold, it couldn’t be bought.

3) But what about if beer were combined with other legal things. Like anesthesia? Soon surgeries all over the nation were adding beer mist to the ether they administered to patients. Beer mist made drifting off into unconsciousness easier, pleasurable in fact.

4) So much so, that people in all the big cities, Chicago, in particular, took to shooting each other, so they could go to hospitals for their beer misted anesthesia. Aren’t you impressed I spelled unconsciousness and anesthesia correctly and on the first try?

5) Municipal governments started to look askance at all this violence.

6) Then in 1920, Bee R. Barley told her friend Al Capone, “Why don’t you sell beer illegally?” And her idea was good. With the Chicago police busy investigating emergency rooms, Al was free to open one speakeasy after another. Beer sales boomed. Al went big time into selling beer. So did other hoodlums. Everyone wanted a piece of the lucrative illegal beer trade.

7) Competition for the beer trade became fierce. Things were said. Bullets were fired. Soon gang wars raged all across Chicago. For a while, the underworld told city officials that all the shootings arose from people really, really wanting beer anesthesia. Then the Saint. Valentine’s Day massacre happened. Seven murdered men. Dead men want no beer anesthesia. The gig was up. Eliott Ness and his Untouchables closed all the breweries. Cleaned up the surgeries as well.

8) But people still needed their beer. And so pizzas with beer crusts came about. Peace broke out in Chicago. Fragile yes, but enough to keep the city going until Prohibition ended in 1933. I offer up this recipe in the cause of worldwide peace. Can a Nobel Prize be far behind?

Chef Paul

LutheranCookbook

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, are available on amazon.com

The cookbook is also available as an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

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Categories: cuisine, history | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Beer Pizza Crust

Italian Entree

BEER PIZZA CRUST

INGREDIENTSPizzaCr-

2 cups all-purpose flour
¼ cup beer
½ cup water
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
½ teaspoon sugar
½ teaspoon salt
1¾ teaspoons active dry yeast
no-stick spray

SPECIAL UTENSILS

bread maker
16″ pizza pan

Takes 1 hour 20 minutes.

PREPARATION

Add flour, beer, water, oil, sugar, salt, and yeast to the bread maker. Do not put the yeast directly on top of the salt. Salt is bad for yeast and yeast makes the dough rise. “Ask not what your yeast can do for you. Ask what you can do for your yeast.” Set the timer or the menu on the bread maker to “Dough.” Wait for the required time, about an hour. In the meantime preheat the oven to 400 degrees and liberally spray the pizza pan with no-stick spray. This will prevent the crust from forming a glue-like bond with the pan.

Take the dough out of the bread maker and roll it out until the dough covers the pizza pan. If you do not have a rolling pin, any canned food can will do as long as it is at least six inches tall. It is best to use no-stick spray on pan or coat it with a thin layer of flour before spreading the dough.

TIDBITS

1) Ancient Egyptians invented the pizza crust to honor their sun god They made the crust round and flat because the Sun looked, and still looks, to be flat and round. Whenever the Egyptians drew a map of the world, they did so on a crust. They then covered it with: grapes, fish, and asps (venom removed) and ate the whole thing. Hence, the famous saying, “I could eat the world for lunch.”

2) Folks over the centuries drew so many pizza-crust maps that people came to believe the Earth had to be flat. Then in 1488, Christopher Columbus’ mom made a pizza topped with great big, round meatballs. He thought, “Hey, I think the world is round, just like these meatballs.” Four years, came Columbus’ great voyage of discovery. The world be changed forever.

– Chef Paul

LutheranCookbook

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, are available in paperpack
or Kindle on amazon.com

The cookbook is also available as an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, history, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Pretzels

American Appetizer

PRETZELS

INGREDIENTSPretzel-

3/4 cup warm water
2 cups bread flour or plain flour
1/2 teaspoon sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon brown sugar
1/2 tablespoon dry active yeast

1 egg
no-stick spray
1/2 tablespoon coarse salt
(coarse salt is not a crude sailor)

makes 12 pretzels

SPECIAL UTENSIL

bread maker

PREPARATION

Put water, flour, sugar, salt, brown sugar, and yeast in bread maker. Follow instructions for dough setting. Take a nice relaxing bath for about 45 minutes before summoning courage to beat egg.

Beat egg. Preheat oven to 450 degrees. When bread maker is done, separate dough into 12 pieces. Roll each piece into a 15″ log. Fold each log into a pretzel shape. Spray cookie sheet with no-stick spray. Place pretzels on cookie sheet. Brush pretzels with egg. Sprinkle pretzels with coarse salt. Bake at 450 degrees for 10-to-15 minutes or until pretzels are golden brown.

TIDBITS

1) Pretzels were invented by Christian monks around the start of the seventeenth century. They were given to children for learning their devotions and resembled arms crossing the chest in prayer.

2) Italians, Spanish, and French have always claimed to have invented the pretzel. This disagreement grew so heated that they fought each other constantly from 1494 to 1525. The Spanish eventually prevailed, winning the right to rule Italy and claim ownership of the pretzels for 200 years. Deprived of pretzel bragging rights, the Italians lost interest in the Renaissance. Indeed, arts languished everywhere for hundreds of years until the Richard Wagner’s operas and Jim Henson’s Muppets Show. It is no coincidence that German Wagner and American Henson hail from the two greatest pretzel making countries in the world.

– Chef Paul

3novels

Please check out Paul De Lancey’s books on Amazon.com.

or visit his website www.lordsoffun.com for signed copies.

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Margherita Pizza

Italian Entree

MARGHERITA PIZZA

INGREDIENTS

PIZZA CRUST (If you have a bread maker)

3 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup water
2 1/2 tablespoons vegetable oil
3/4 teaspoon sugar
3/4 teaspoon salt
2 1/2 teaspoons active dry yeast
no-stick cooking spray

TOPPING

3 garlic cloves
1/4 cup olive oil
2 Roma tomatoes
2 ripe red tomatoes
1/2 teaspoon sea salt
8 ounces Mozzarella cheese
1/2 cup Parmesan cheese
1 teaspoon basil
1 teaspoon oregano
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon thyme

UTENSILS

1 16-inch pizza dish or 2 12-inch dishes
bread machine
no-stick spray

PREPARATION.

Measure out the flour and set aside. Pour the water into the bread maker. If you measure the water before the flour, the flour will stick to the sides of the measuring cup. Egads!

Add oil, sugar, salt, and yeast to the bread maker. Do not put the yeast directly on top of the salt. Salt is bad for yeast and yeast makes the dough rise. (I debated putting a comment here, but decided not to.)

Set the timer or the menu on the bread maker to “Dough.” Wait the required time, probably a bit more than an hour. In the meantime liberally spray the pizza pan with no-stick spray. This will prevent the crust from forming a glue-like bond with the pan.

While bread making is whizzing away, mince garlic cloves. Slice Roma tomatoes and ripe red tomatoes. Put garlic, olive oil, and sea salt. Mix with whisk. Coat all tomato slices in mixture and set aside.

Take the dough out of the bread maker and roll it out until the dough covers the pizza pan. If you do not possess a rolling pin, any canned food can will do as long as it is at least 6 inches tall. It is best to spray the can or coat it with a thin layer of flour before spreading the dough.

After rolling, let the dough sit and rise for 30-to-60 minutes. Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

Coat pizza crust with garlic/tomato mix. Put Roma tomato and ripe red tomatoes slices evenly on pizza crust.

Mix Mozzarella cheese, Parmesan cheese, basil, oregano, pepper, and thyme in small mixing bowl. Sprinkle cheese/spice mixture evenly on pizza crust.

Bake pizza in oven at 400 degrees for 10 to 15 minutes or until cheese is golden brown.
TIDBITS

1) This margherita is a pizza. Eating it will not get you drunk or even give you a buzz. Jimmy Buffet was not “wasting away in Margheritaville.”

2) Okay, you could assemble the sugar and the other ingredients that go in the bread machine and let them ferment until you get alcohol. But I suspect you’d only get a sour tasting alcoholic glob.

3) Margherita Pizza was named after the Queen of Naples sometime ago.

4) It’s difficult to remember to type in that “h” in “Margherita.” My spell checker doesn’t like it either. Why, why couldn’t that queen have been named something easy such as, “Maria” or “Sophia?”

5) My two sons have simple names just in case they create a world-famous pizza.

6) Italy was unified during the years 1860 to 1870. This event, thank goodness, put an end to Neapolitan queens bestowing their weirdly spelled names on perfectly good pizzas.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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